Wonkette
We will tread lightly here, lest we fall beneath the Malignant Eye of Denby, but: Christopher Dodd has early stage prostate cancer. The good news: if you had to have your pick of cancers, “early stage prostate” would probably be right up there on the list, as it is highly treatable and pretty much every human male, if he lives long enough, eventually gets prostate cancer anyway. So fear not, Connecticut! You will likely have a Senator Dodd for many years to come, particularly if you re-elect him. [Washington Post]
I read he’s going the surgery route though. Surgery can lead in incontinence…
Do you think he took that photo at one of those K-mart portrait studios?
Shame about the cancer, though.
I once knew a dude who called it his “prostrate.” It was so funny, and he was so hot that I never took the trouble to learn him on the matter.
Anyway, all the best Senator Dodd with your prostrate cancer. Hoping for a full and speedy recovery.
Senator Dodd will be undergoing scheduled surgery during the August recess. The surgeons will find Ted Kennedy’s Jameson bottle stuffed with health care lobby cash, and he will be good as new in September.
Get well, Chris. One word for you: neuticles!
‘…You live long enough, you get the cancer…’
Oh, To Be Alive!!
Tommmcatt: You think we have K-Marts in CT? It is to laugh.
If ever there was an argument against the believablility of Intelligent Design, it’s the anatomical position of the prostate. That surgery can’t be fun. Good luck senator, and FUCKING VOTE FOR HEALTH CARE REFORM!
I think they will find out Lieberman put a butt golem in him. DO NOT GO CAMPING WITH VINEGAR JOE.
Texan Bulldoggette: Oh, hell–the prostates are further north. Disregard neuticle remark….but it is a fun word.
Its as if anyone who attempts to reform healthcare becomes sickened by it.
NoWireHangers: “Surgery can lead in incontinence…”
Worse yet, impotence. Depends on how much of it they have to take.
Will there be a cancer caucus in the Senate? Dodd, Spector, Ted Kennedy…
I used to think of CT as simply an innocuous appendage to ‘real’ New England. Now, though, Dodd’s political obituary is being scrawled all over the place and, lest we forget, this is the state that gave us Joe “Fucking” Lieberman. Assholes.
My dad passed away this year. He had teh cancer. People used to die of all sortsa other shit: miner’s lung, consumption, World War I, etc. Most of that other shit can be controlled, if not cured, nowadays, so there’s just nothing left to die from but the effects of entropy on your own body’s cells.
choinski: So there was a silver lining to the whole Litvinenko affair. It taught Big Pharma/Insurance that polonium leaves too many fingerprints.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
Jonah “Fail Bop Comet” Goldberg gave Chris “Gassy Giant” Dodd cancer.
“… and pretty much every human male, if he lives long enough, eventually gets prostate cancer anyway.”
Is that why the crystal in my hand is flashing red?
SmutBoffin: Man, I sure have been out of the loop. Had no idea they’d discovered a cure for WWI.
Paging Jonah Goldberg. Please report to a white courtesy bag of dicks.
…lest we fall beneath the Malignant Eye of Denby…
Well, I hope you’re all happy now. Wonkette gave Denby eye cancer.
And all the while Iron Vinegar Joe lumbers on, blissfully unconcerned about his drooping betumored wattles. He’s heard the ladies like the neck flaps. It’s the new senate hotness.
My name is Chris Dodd, Chris Dodd is my name…
Carrie_Okie: No, Obama did this. First it was hillary’s elbow, then Sotomayor’s ankle then the Nazi-Pope’s wrist… Obama has graduated to causing problems with Pee-pees! Watch out women of power, next Obama is gonna smash some unsuspecting woman’s tits!
So, it wasn’t a going problem after all. Good Luck, Mr. Dodd. I loved you in Laser Cats 3!
Advances in battlefield medicine and veterans’ benefits, yadda, yadda, yadda. No doubt a great many of our American Troops(TM) wounded in what ever shitty wars we are having now will live long enough to enjoy having their own cells start up an insurgency.
I read that having lots of sex contributes to good prostate health, but I could never figure out a way to share this information with my father. OTOH, I did mention it to my mother.
But only once.
Asshole.
No, I mean, that’s where he’s got cancer.
Another way to treat it is putting little radioactive peppercorns all around the offending tumor — but I wonder what that will do to the machine at the airport when you walk through it (three sevens and you win a free round-trip ticket, right?).
V572625694: That’s what makes this line so funny:
“You will likely have a Senator Dodd for many years to come….” - Sara K. Smith
Ahh I remember the days when I had health insurance and access to cancer screenings. Good times.
user-of-owls: It’s in remission. Could flare back up any moment, I suppose.
I’m still pissing blood from having my gouged out three weeks ago. Other than the cool Depends Thong, it’s not as much fun as it sounds. Rather than the DaVinci robotic surgery, I opted for the cheaper Fellini robotic surgery that included lots of sad-eyed Italians clowns wandering through. More pain, but more fun.
‘pretty much every human male, if he lives long enough, eventually gets prostate cancer anyway’
Not me. I plan on dying in a drunken skydiving accident.
Get well soon Senator Dodd. Connecticut needs you to keep voting in favor of spending billions of taxpayer dollars on airplanes the military can’t use and doesn’t want. The rest of us, not so much…but as political whores go, you seem not so bad.
RoscoePColtraine: I had prostrate cancer. It makes it very hard to get up.
I hope he has a government run health care plan to pay for treatment.
Snarkalicious: Yeah, better keep all the Archdukes under wraps for a while.
Do you think he got it from having all those lobbyists up there? Hyuk yuk yuk.
CorkPopper:
You may be a whore, Chris, but you’re one of our favorite whores. That count’s for something.
gah, grammar FAIL!
Today, we are all gassy giants.
Too soon?
Katydid: but you got the Walmarts. I know the one where they broke the window day after thanksgiving trying to get in first.
Dodd could avail himself of the Repub’s just-announced Empower Patients First Healthcare Plan, which could pretty much be summarized as:
(1) build a huge altar in front of the insurance companies’ home offices,
(2) pile it high with money,
(3) put your firstborn on top, ignite, and
(4) pray that someone or something heals you.
Been there. Done that ole radiation tango. No fun. But then Rush Limbaugh’s maid came around peddling happy meds and things got better.
Yo Dodd, Three Times One Minus One is gonna make it ayyyite . Pcchh! Yeah.
user-of-owls: All the assholes live in Fairfield County, and they’re mostly Republicans, and they mostly work in NY. And root for the Yankees. See New Canaan, home to Glenn Beck and spawn, and the town that allowed Ann Coulter to live, for examples. New Canaan makes Greenwich seem liberal, and home to people of moderate income.
finallyhappy: Ya, I know. We even got the K-Marts, too, actually, and the poors, and the segregation. We just do it the polite way, by income. Bridgeport, New Haven, and Hartford have horrendous infant mortality rates. Some of the biggest pricks around (and I don’t mean in a good way) live in CT. Lieberman, for example. And most of Fairfield County. And former Gov. Rowland, after spending 10 months in federal prison, is now paid $95,000/year working basically as a greeter for the city of Waterbury. Waterbury, where the former mayor sits in jail for having sex with minors. Republican, of course (the mayor, don’t know about the kids). CT is a very mixed state, to say the least.
RoscoePColtraine: O/T….same guy called it the Leaning Tower of Pizza. Just let that one go too. Also.
Dear Senator Dodd,
I’m so happy that your ass cancer was discovered at your annual checkup. Must be nice to be able to afford to go to the doctor when you aren’t even sick. By all means, get well soon and continue you valiant fight to make sure the American people never ever in a million fucking years have access to the high quality federal health care coverage that probably just saved your life.
bonghistforjesus
ps- please go suck a bag of dicks. xoxo
At least Dodd does not (and will never) have chronic withering of the pee-pee like Miss Harry Reid.
Hang in there, Chris.
“every human male, if he lives long enough, get prostate cancer…”
Are you suggesting that the honorable gentleman from Connecticut has lived “long enough?”
Or, for that matter, that he is human?
McDuff: Define ‘crystal”.
Katydid: finallyhappy: Oh, we have K-Marts galore here in CT. Just not in Fairfield County, which we would urge to secede, except they pay all the taxes.
Sen. Dodd: Get well. I know you’ll be comfy recovering in one of your home you got a sweetheart mortgage deal on. You usually talk sense, but the actions rarely match up. Maybe you’ll be inspired.
McDuff: Happy Lastday. No more worries about finding health insurance.
ProfessorJukes: DP: bonghitsforjesus:
It occurs to me, as I sip my fine, fine Thunderbird (vintage last week) and nibble on the well-aged, brown Styrofoam that drifts gently, gently down in brittle crusts from roof liner of the grey ‘82 Volvo that I sleep in (unfortunately, someone else‘s), that you must have employer-provided heath insurance … for now.
When your health insurance is dropped, get Glennda Beck [R-Oz] to stand-up for you.
ProfessorJukes: HEY! As a proud Fairfield County resident, I take offense to your comment!
And you shop at K-Mart? Seriously? You’re such a povo, Professor.
loquaciousmusic: Oh, speaking of povos, watch this.
S.Luggo: Hopefully by the time Chris looses his coverage someone will have dropped a house on the bad witch Glenda Beck!
“The benefit of being in Congress and having a good health-care plan is not one available to everyone,”
You know what is available to everyone? Metastasis! This is where your honorable, senatorial, scrotal inconvenience gets in your bones and causes constant, irremediable pain. Congrats, senator! Welcome to the real world. High threes!