Curious Policeman Successfully Tests Taser On Pregnant Immigrant
by Riley Waggaman
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If universal health care doesn’t scare the shit out of you, just imagine if there was a public option for extinguishing fires, and rescuing kittens from tree branches! Are your panties wet with horror? [Matt Yglesias]
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Next time you play a game of Guess Who, ask this winning question: “Is your person a birther?” If your opponent says “no,” you can eliminate 58% of the Republicans, and then the only people left will be the one black lady and that bald guy with the beard. [Think Progress]
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Ancient Turd Blossom Lou Dobbs just can’t shut up about how Barack Obama was never born, so it looks like it’s time for another Bristol Scale classification! Poopy-Lou is probably a Type Two, “Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface.” [AMERICAblog]
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Nothing says “Happy Friday” like a pregnant woman getting Police-tasered at a Baptism celebration. Thanks for the memories, America! And the court-ordered therapy. [Something Awful/YouTube]
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The RedState furry convention begins TONIGHT! And who will be this evening’s keynote speaker? The famous Waterloo hero Jim “The Duke of Wellington” DeMint, who will discuss the tactical uses of dragoons and other topics concerning modern military strategy. [RedState]
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Your preposterous vocab list for the week. Pop quiz on Monday. [Paul Slansky]
Tagged:
- birthers,
- fires,
- furries,
- guess who,
- health care,
- lou dobbs,
- rumors on the internets,
- public option,
- redstate convention,
- republicans,
- tasers
{ 35 comments }
Congratulations to Wonkett for getting a nod in that nigh-unreadable Slansky piece!
I think Yglesias’ quaint little notion that you could use things like facts and logic to explain the need for a public option on health care reform is pretty much countermanded by the story listed right below his.
Those Prince William County cops were just hoping to get invited to a beer party at the White House. Whatever, have Rahm order a keg or two.
Ironically, the policemen that tasered the pregnant woman teaches Lamaze classes on weekends.
The sad thing is: when you add all the Obama Birthers on the right and all the 9/11 Truthers on the left, you could almost half-fill a cruise ship with the remaining Americans who aren’t certifiably insane.
Oh wow, 58% of Republicans are birther sympathizers?
Hey, here’s a fun test: go to your nearest Republican rally, and just haphazardly toss a stone into the crowd, completely at random, and see who it hits. This has nothing to do with birthers, I’m just encouraging you to throw rocks at these people.
Cops tazer a pregnant woman? This can only mean one thing: Skip Gates is *out* of control.
In the last week we’ve had stories about police tasering a 72 year old woman, a mentally disabled deaf man, and now a pregnant woman at a kid’s baptism party.
I can’t wait until next week when police start tasering babies who cry too loud and puppies who piss on the carpet.
The women’s pregnancy could complicate Obama’s attempt at holding a “beer summit” between her and the officer.
Lou Dobbs = Guano Faucet
[re=375662]Cicada[/re]: Nah, they don’t bother with tasers on puppies. They just shoot them.
[re=375662]Cicada[/re]: They’re just out to prove it’s safe for everybody. Like lawn darts.
At least in Nashville, the cops buy you an ice cream after tasering you into submission.
Oh, wow! Sen. Jim DeMentalcase is doing the keynote speech at the furry convention. I, as one of his constituents, can’t wait for his 15 mins to expire. He has accomplished one thing, though. He’s taken the new bottom-scraping image that Gov. Don’cryformeArgentina has made for our ol’ SC and made it worse. Maybe the police should practice tasering his ass. Can’t miss; he’s all ass.
How are the cops supposed to know that fetus wasn’t burglarizing that uterous? It didn’t have idea, it wouldn’t answer questions, you go out there and put your life on the line every day, how dare you criticize.
[re=375670]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Maybe he should wait a week to allow for another four or five elderly and/or handicapped taserings and then have a joint Healthcare and Ensure/Glucerna Summit?
Why won’t people stop being so LOUD with the police?
curious cops keep trying to set their tasers on “bleach”
[re=375678]Mahousu[/re]: Just a word to dog owners who want to credibly claim their dog is no danger to anyone: don’t name him “Bruiser” (also avoid Killer, Ripper, and Mr. Bitey).
[re=375642]SmutBoffin[/re]: No kidding re Slansky’s “prose” “style”:
Barrett, Justin
• placement of on administrative leave by the Boston Police Department leads to assertion by that “I am not a racist. I did not intend any racial bigotry, harm or prejudice,” leaving observers to ponder the actual intention of when mass e-mail was sent by describing Henry Louis Gates Jr. as a “banana-eating jungle monkey” — a phrase acknowledged by as a “poor choice of words”
Translation, please?
[re=375692]problemwithcaring[/re]: It’s about time we have a “learning moment” about issues surrounding cops tasering old people and pregnant women.
[re=375688]Prommie[/re]: Worse, the fetus could have had a gun. Everyone says “screw the police” until it’s them being robbed by a 30 week-old with murder in it’s eyes. And that fetus was probably here illegally, too. No one stands up for real Americans anymore.
*puts on Lee Greenwood album, places hand over heart*
[re=375731]Cicada[/re]: Well, yeah, they’re not even ‘natural-born citizens’ yet.
[re=375648]Todd Mecklem[/re]: Yeah, but the pregnant woman shouldn’t have a beer. She could have a Buckler, like Veep Joe did. Oh, I thought you said “buckle her” knees, with this taser, and with a nightstick, also.
[re=375650]Serolf Divad[/re]: Birthers and Truthers are not the same, despite the fact that both end in thers. So do fathers and mothers and brothers and others.
It’s like mixing apples and oranges. I’m not sure if I’m the apples or the oranges, but these are two entirely different fruit salads.
I was looking at the comments over there at RedState, which is generally a big mistake, and they were all, like, Gee, I’d love to go but I’ve got to wash the car, or some such nonsense.
I predict 3 morans with really big signs.
Whatever you do, don’t start tasering cats. They will fuck you up like a wounded grizzly.
In the immortal words of Ice Cube: Fuck the Po-lice!
Thank God for Tasers, otherwise these folks would all be dead, and the cops would be running out of guns to plant on the corpses.
Yeah, I’m bitter.
[re=375858]Leopolt[/re]: cops would be runningout of guns to plant on the corpses…
That’s what crack sprinkles are for.
Whoa. Teddy S makes a crack at Palin, gets Win of the Afternoon, then gets a nod from Time. He/she will have a variety show by end of next week at this rate.
Birthers and truthers- different and yet the same
[re=375952]finallyhappy[/re]: And, importantly different in that half the fucking Democrats in this country aren’t Truthers, OK? Really, can we stop comparing the two? I’m not a truther, but the Truthers are more akin to the deniers of the Moon landing. Bither motives are much more in line with Holocaust deniers.
“Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface.”
That’s definitely a “3″ on the Bristol Scale… you know, not that your link prompted me to spend 10 minutes reading about (literal) shit on Wikipedia.
[re=376080]Nedrick[/re]: i think riley really did mean type 2, but maybe copy-and-pasted the wrong description. lou dobbs is a type 2, for sure. specifically, the really compacted kind that tears your sphincter and makes you bleed a little when you push it out.
thanks again, dear riley, for introducing us to the bristol scale. i refer to it every day.
Tasering has become a scam on the taxpayer. Refill cartridges are like $50 a pop. I say go back to the carbon neutral billy club.
The birther buffoons are actually correct about one of the candidates in last November’s election. John “Get Off My Lawn” McCain was born in, wait-for-it, Panama in 1877. He is arguably NOT a “natural-born citizen”. How in the world can a U. S. military hospital in Panama legally qualify as U. S. territory? Agitating about Obama not being a U. S. citizen sure does take the sting out of being an unemployed, benighted, racist loser!
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