Wonkette
See, this is why we haven’t kicked Texas out of the union (yet): because sometimes Texans do funny things for us to laugh at. For example: unofficial Republican gubernatorial candidate Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has a web site that contained tasty little hidden phrases like “rick perry gay” that Governor Rick Perry’s people did not like so much.
From national pornography ‘zine the AP:
Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign is accusing the Hutchison team of being slanderous and of setting a negative and divisive tone.
[...] Hutchison spokesman Jeff Sadosky said Hutchison’s campaign was not condoning those words and did not know thousands of people would be searching for them. He said they would be removed from the site.
Yes, who knew that there was any discussion at all, on the Internet, regarding what type of human Rick Perry liked to fuck?
The Hutchison campaign says they bought some dumb search engine optimization tool that embedded certain oft-searched phrases in their site’s source code so that they could better target their advertising, not so that they could spread secret rumors about Rick Perry’s sex life. Which, apparently, is something that people using popular search engines are interested in!
Anyway, the dirty hidden words have been removed, so nobody will ever associate Rick Perry and gayness ever again.
UPDATED: Hutchison site is loaded with hidden phrases—including two “Perry gay” references, which the campaign says it’s removing [Austin American-Statesman]
Hidden phrases on Hutchison’s site, below [Austin American-Statesman]
Texas Governor Rick Perry Accuses Opponent of Slander, Including Hidden Phrases on Web Site [AP]
Just a careless mistake. Had they meant it it would have been ‘rick perry disgusting faggot.’
Heh.
Operation Get Newspapers to Print “Rick Perry is Gay” Headlines — declared successful, beyond wildest dreams. Moving on to next operation — photographing Perry eating bag of dicks.
But he is gay…he’s a staunch conservative from Texas who is not in favor of gay marriage and has a fine family life. Sounds like a Larry Craig closet gay to me.
Noonan: Heh-heh. Rick Perry. Ghey.
I heard somewhere, like maybe at church, yeah that’s it, that Rick Perry is John McCain’s black baby.
Dear Rick:
When Wonketteers told you repeatedly to eat a dick, we didn’t mean literally. Oh wait, maybe we did. My bad.
QAE v 2.0
hobospacejunkie: Worked perfectly:
Results 1 - 100 of about 184,000 English pages for “rick perry gay”
Shit fire hell god damn it y’all, Hoot! Texas. Where men are men and ALL the livestock is nervous.
Here’s the list of text the phrases appear in:
http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/politics/entries/2009/07/30/hidden_phrases_on_hutchisons_s.html
Almost as frightening is:
3900 sw green oaks blvd. arlington tx 76017 joe barton bio representative joe barton congressman barton joe barton congress dr. joe barton us congress biography congressman joe barton joe joe barton congressman congressman joe barton rep joe barton joe barton biography barton joey barton congress barton congress congress barton barton.com congress biography joe barton barton com congress privacy
Wonkette is loaded with the hidden phrase “Jonah Goldberg Liberally Fascist Anal Lube”, which is also a popular search term on the interwebs.
With Charlie Crist running for senate, Perry becomes president of the Gay Republican Governors Association by default.
If the established GOP doctrine is “If you say it loud enough and often enough, it becomes true” then Rick Perry is way gayest gay ever. Come out Rick!
You’re missing the story here, Sara! The software builds the phrases based on the most popular search terms of people coming to the site.
So you have Jeff Sadosky’s passive-aggressive response: “We did not know these offensive word associations were being searched for by hundreds of thousands of Texans everyday”.
Translation: “This isn’t our fault. This never would have happened if half the state didn’t suspect that Perry was queer.”
This is going to be a long, fun race.
If you put all the GOP self-loathing gays in a room and let them go at each other it would probably be the lames, most vanilla sex ever because they’d all probably be bottoms. But odds are, given the numbers, one would emerge as a monster top. Which would that be? Discuss.
Wasn’t it Kay Bailey who coined the phrase “George Bush was born with a silver foot in his mouth”..this is just been updated is all..replace “George Bush” with “Rick Perry” and change “foot” to “dick”, voila’!
In a statement, Senator Hutchison said, “What? We said ‘Rick Perry Gay’? I can’t imagine we would say ‘Rick Perry Gay’ on our website. It would never occur to us to put ‘Rick Perry Gay’ on our site. Only a low down scoundrel would put ‘Rick Perry Gay’ there. ‘Rick Perry Gay’, can you imagine the nerve!
“Yes, who knew that there was any discussion at all, on the Internet, regarding what type of human Rick Perry liked to fuck”
Whoa, Cowboy, slow down!
…Gays are Human?
freakishlystrong: You are giving her a bit too much credit. She is not Ann Richards.
Why won’t he show us his gay birth certificate? What is he hiding? And why is he hiding it in his colon?
freakishlystrong: That was Ann Richards speaking of George H.W. Bush.
freakishlystrong: Really, you can’t tell Kay Bailey from Ann Richards?
Also, whatever they are claiming, they are using the terms. Top search result on ‘rick perry gay’ is this silly article about Rick the Bathroom Goblin:
http://www.opednews.com/thoreau022704_texas_governor.htm
Prominently decorated with an ad for Kay Bailey’s campaign.
freakishlystrong: It was ann richards.
freakishlystrong:
uh no, it was Ann Richards who said that.
I swear to God I heard something about Perry being that particular offensive word association, and not just because of the hair. But while I found some pretty sweet stories upon Googling rick perry gay, I was most struck by this:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_rick_perry_gay
Q: Is rick perry gay?
A: There is currently no evidence to suggest that Rick Perry is gay.
Crush a girl’s dreams why dontcha.
Screw you, Ispom Lorem! From now on I’m using the following in all my text mock-ups (or Sarah Palin Speeches)
rick perry gay marine graduation in san diego governor perry governor perry governor rick perry texas mike gallagher show rick perry state of the state address how to write a letter to the governor how to write a letter to governor texas gov rick perry katherine stout texas join ceos results of campaign for governor of texas how to write a letter to a governor rick perry email address rick perry email address rick perry governor mike gallagher radio texas unemployment insurance rate gov. rick perry texas write a letter to the governor celebrating texas book texans for texas office of the governor of texas state of texas unemployment insurance fortune 500 people list interstate moves rick perry video rick perry video rick perry school rick perrys life email rick perry rick perry schools unemployment insurance in texas texas governor inauguration video game companies in texas govenor rick perry govenor rick perry rick perry address rick perry texans website last weekend of freedom 1st governor of texas 1st governor texas freedom runners governor rick perry governor rick perry el paso gangs
Remember, kids…Truth is always a defense to libel. Just sayin’.
freakishlystrong: No, that silver foot comment came from the always awesome Ann Richards. And I’m pretty sure it referred to the elder Bush, who now seems so harmless and charming compared to his evil idiot son.
chascates: It’s up to 598,000 now — wildfire, I tell you. I guess the funniest search phrase that still remains is “govner of texas” (sic). It’s good to know that Texans are resurching the govner on the googles.
Google is gay-friendly.
Electric Zen: This is it exactly. KBH’s comment is one of the best non-apology apologies I’ve seen from a politician in a long, long time.
oh Wonket, you seem to think everything is gay!
and you know, when i look at that picture of gov. hair, I can’t help but notice his belt and beltbuckle. Is that shit really texasish? I thought belt buckles were supposed to be huge? Looks like he had someone run out and buy him some mom jeans and then used a belt from some dress slacks…
rubybuckaroo: bureaucrap: Electric Zen: fishandvodka: DOH!11
tiny mexican: So… there’s no evidence to prove he is… but that doesn’t prove he isn’t! He’s a homo! Homo! Gay gay gay!
lionboy: Duh. Michelle Bachmann, with a strap-on.
Crank Tango: The real issue with the belt is how long it is. I mean there’s like 10 inches left over past the buckle. That’s not some sort of “cruising” signal is it?
“Well, Kay Bailey certainly did come out with her six guns blazing in this High Noon showdown of quick-draw artists. This Duel in the Sun is to be the hottest polical race north of the Rio Bravo now that the Senator has mentioned where Gov. Perry sticks his Little Big Man.”
University of Texas political science professor Bruce Buchanan.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Bingo!
Hey, my ti-ti-ti-tip! (Which is all Rick let me put in only making him slightly gay).
How dare they suggest Rick Perry is gay. This is an affront to straight men with fabulous hair and a shoe obsession who like to party with men and burn down their own house everywhere.
A visibly flustered Governor Perry only made matters worse when, attempting to talk about his freedom-loving plans to dodge NobamaCare, he somehow repeatedly mangled the phrase “block health care reform efforts” as “fuck men routinely.”
queeraselvis v 2.0: affectionately dubbed “The O-Bama Rammah”
Carrie_Okie: Yours and that of many, many others …
Hutchinson is just jealous because Perry has better hair that she does.
Kay learned that trick from her buddy the Bush, who got to be governor when Karl Rove spread the same rumor about Anne Richards. Back then it was an outrage, umpteen years later it barely rates a shrug. See, you can condition people to ugliness.
And it’s only July–woo hoo, pardners. This here is gonna be funnee–gotta get some popcorn & just sit back & watch them annihilate each other (& the Dem will still manage to lose by 20 points!). Go Texas!
Helpful sugs to her IT staff for new embedded code phrases to replace the offending deleted code (incl the quotes for more matches):
“rick perry nambla”
“rick perry cleveland steamer”
“rick perry dirty sanchez”
“rick perry santorum”
“rick perry gerbil stuffing”
“rick perry auto-erotic asphyxiation”
Paterlanger: or it’s just mike huckabee’s belt!
I don’t KNOW that Rick Perry is gay - I just have to wonder why he won’t let anyone see his Straight Certificate.
“Rick Perry is packing fudge in Texas” produces 2,130,000 hits. Our Wonkette comes up “on top.”
Stay classy, moderate Texas Republicans, not that Governor Goodhair deserves anything better than to be caught in an airport restroom stall standing in a shopping bag with his pants down.
teebob2000: And also: “rick perry skin flute”
WadISay: Yay! Wonkette is my only source for ‘hard’ news.
I haven’t trusted Texas politicians since I learned that Jim “David” Bowie was a Mexican who wasn’t even born in Texas. Soon we’ll find out Rick Perry was a 70’s glam-rocker.
Remember the Alamo!
It could have been worse: ‘Rick Perry Black’ or ‘Rick Perry Born in Kenya’ (’born in kenya’ is the new nigger) .
Well, little known fact, Perry was found naked in the hot tub in the governor’s mansion with the former sec’t of state for Texas by his wife who then originally filed for divorce until Karl Rove drove a truck load of money to her private accounts.
And no, this isn’t snark.
And also. Listen freak, if you ever confuse Ann Richards with Kay Bailey again, I will have Dick Cheney come to your house to peel your dick like a banana and dip it in rubbing alcohol.
El Pinche: The Austin paper reports that the term “African American” is hidden there, however. So….
Sara K. Smith: Oh I figured. Thanks for letting me put my tip in, with many, many others. (That just gets dirtier the more I say it.)
Better American Than You: ugg….figures.
Steers and queers, my friends, steers and queers.
And since Perry is an Aggie, he sure ain’t got no horns….
One good thing . We know a fucking republican is going to win, so I might as well sit back and enjoy the wingnut war.
“I hate gays and blacks more than you!! And I’m a born again christian and i love war, did i mention i hate mexicans and blacks, so there!!!”
Otto Reimer: Yeah , I believe this will be brought to light in the Wingnut Wars. And I have a “Our Lady of Tejas, Ann Richards” candle I bought in East Austin.
I’m hoping, wishing the south (e.g. McAllen, the valley, and up) will rise in blue .
http://www.atxbs.com/?q=node/1617
“Governor Rick Perry is an asshole, and can eat a dick.”
This is straight from Austin, TX, folks. I believe that this position, embodying TWO forms of homosexual activity simultaneously, qualifies Rick Perry as a “middle”.
BTW, this appears in the list: “rep. ron paul debachary”. (Thank you, Kay Bailey Breck-Girl, the Education Governor.)
http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/politics/entries/2009/07/30/hidden_phrases_on_hutchisons_s.html
Why isn’t “asshat” or “Pretty Pretty Hair” in the list?
geeking out a bit, they’re using a well-known and amateurish search engine optimization trick (setting text-div to display:none) that most search engines quickly discount and will often penalize them for otherwise everyone would load up their pages with thousands of words like “paris hilton video” or “Jonah Goldberg Liberally Fascist Anal Lube” just to get the search traffic.
try it out in google — pick a phrase from their list, like
“ron paul is a mason”
then go to google and search for it on their site:
“ron paul is a mason” +site:standbykay.com
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&q=“ron+paul+is+a+mason”+%2Bsite%3Astandbykay.com
No results. Google obviously has seen this one before.
However, bing needs some more work..
+”ron paul is a mason” +site:standbykay.com
http://www.bing.com/search?q=%2B%22ron+paul+is+a+mason%22+%2Bsite%3Astandbykay.com&go=&form=QBRE&qs=n
“Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign is accusing the Hutchison team of being slanderous and of setting a negative and divisive tone.”
Texas politics will never recover.
FlamingSooner: That’s BEERS, steers, and queers to you, buddy.
Well there were legs to this fact about ten years ago (I posted on this earlier).
Supposedly about a half hour before Mrs Perry outed him, and his torrid little triste
with some guy in the government, a million bucks, via Tom DeLay showed up in her bank account.
The reporter who was onto this story was threatened with horrors to drop it and he did.
An Austin male escort friend of ours says that several of his working boy colleagues could out him easily.
bumfug: I dunno, I met him in a bar one night and he asked if I wanted to see his “long form certificate,” so I’m really not sure what you’re talking about.
I think they used the same search engine that mistakenly generates ads on my Facebook page asking if I am a secret alcoholic who needs botox and chin-hair electrolysis.
Actually, I’m not comfortable with people using “gay” as an insult, even to insult closeted gay Republicans. So, I want to address Rick Perry directly, and say that, in truth, when it comes to supporting your choices, all of us Wonkette posters will stand behind you, bubba!
Although some of us may want to stand closer behind you than others.
Otto Reimer: Yes, it had to be said. Well done. Y’all. (that’s Texican for Also)
I’m confused. You mean he’s NOT gay?
I mean, I grew up in San Francisco. You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to spot the signs:
That “Faux Urban Cowboy” look.
The other boys in the bar behind him (heh, heh), wearing parts of military uniforms.
The haircuts.
Yep.
Homos. The lot.
(”You see, Watson. But you do not observe!”)
I gotta remember that “search engine optimization” excuse, next time the wife pries into my browser history.
I signed up for 2, count’em 2, Mormon kids. Time comes for delivery not only don’t I even get one but they send back the 400 they had got for no reason. Now I am back to square zero looking at Romanian Gypsy-Afghan half breeds.
free: Only the male livestock.
Not to get too computer-dorky, but this type of SEO-for-Morans hasn’t worked (in the Google at least) for many years. They’re simply stuffing the page with a bunch of crap keywords and using CSS to hide them, which not only doesn’t work but is practically begging for a -100 rankings penalty.
Still, she’s probably more web-savvy than Rick Perry.
El Pinche: Glad you liked the candle, quite possible my work. Soy El Pinche Tejano en los blogs de politico. Pero, I am also Free Thinker, so here I pay homage to our huge as ranch we made into park.
South Texas has been bluer than Perry’s balls at Castro pride parade for generations, it’s the fuck ups near Dallas we gotta worry about.
Minnie Mean: Well, some people say, Perry likes to go bareback riding in a brokeback mountain fashion at the Rainbow Cattle Company, which I always thought should have been called Blazing Saddles.
On behalf of Minnesota, I’d like to thank Texas. Now that we have two senators and Michele Bachmann’s been quiet for a couple of weeks, we appreciate how Texas has reclaimed its Political Wackiness Tiara. The Tiara always suited Texas better, anyway.
FlamingSooner: You know why Texas doesn’t fall into the Gulf de Mexico?
Oklahoma Sucks.
And hey, way to name your football team after people who not only raped and pillage the Native Americans, but also cheated to do so. The Boomer part of Sooner was the sound your forefathers made with they cracked open poor defenseless babies’s skulls to try and drink their their souls.
C’mon! The very name “Rick Perry” has gay pornstar written all over it.
Better American Than You: Rick Perry is a Gay Black man (or is that Black Gay man), which I think explains some things.. what, I don’t know but it has to explain some things…
Oldskool: What makes this amusing (as opposed to what Rove did to Ann Richards) is (1) it is not an actual political strategy from the campaign and (2) the target, Perry, is against gay rights, if not a huge homophobe.
freakishlystrong: Around here a mistake like that’s a hangin’ offense.
Or as many others have pointed out: That was Ann Richards.
God, how she’s missed. All we have now passing as democrats is a pile of oil slathered midgets diddling any fold, hole or indentation that hasn’t been stapled shut by the good ole’ boys with their pretty hair and shoe fetishes.
I Am Not Your Gary Busey: Also miss Molly Ivins. Until the messicans start breeding even more, TX will not be blue until all them little squirts turn 18…
I must once again trot out my favorite Texas political story, perhaps my all-time favorite political story.
During a 1968 speech, Texas governor Preston Smith was drowned out by demonstrators shouting “Free Lee Otis! Free Lee Otis!” in support of a black student leader sentenced to 30 years in prison for passing a joint to an undercover cop.
“What in the world do they have against frijoles?” Smith asked.
jasper f. krone: Of course. What’s Texas without beer? It’s one thing everyone can agree on.
Otto Reimer: The Sooners were the ones who cheated on the land run, and the Boomers were the ones who were somehow waiting for them with nails, lumber, whiskey…etc.
Btw, am I to understand that Texas was a nirvana for people of color at that time?
Also, you really got me with that there zinger, boy. I’ve never heard that one before.
Are you exicited about that new “liberry” being built at SMU? I know you’re proud…..
Ah yes, the modern tolerant GOP. I understand McCain’s website in 2008 keyworded “Obama black” as well to secretly spread the rumour that Obama was of the African-American persuasion.
freakishlystrong:
4 the Win.
The rumor back in Saint Annie’s day was not, to be accurate, that Rick Perry was gay. It was that Perry was a gerbil stuffer.
FlamingSooner: Hispanics don’t have color? It was pretty much a nirvana before you Indian-raping gringos showed up. Hell, I’m half-Prussian, you know, the Germans that still have the only unbroken treaty with said Indians whose babies you would eat with a nice mint jelly? I mean, when the Prussians get race relations right and your folks got it so wrong, you know you are tripping.
And as I tell every knucklehead such as yourself, if you keep pissing off Texas, we will give you Bush, after Bush, after Bush. Don’t make us get the Hispanic Bush out, we got him.
Don’t worry, being form Oklahoma I knew you are as stupid as stupid does, all that inbreeding and all. So carry on you crazy diamond and go crawl back to your momma with her more kids than teeth, the beauty of the county from what I heard.
“rick perry hot bottom” on Google produced 77,600 hits. in .25 seconds. God, ya just hafta love the InterNets.
People searching the interwebz for “debachary” should probably not be allowed to vote. Where are we on that Voting Rights Acts thing, again?
stew: You mean “Rick Perineum?”
“sherman williams paint chart” ? really?
boinggg: Only 7,780 hits…
This is not an apostrophe: ‘ (or maybe it is, let’s see) ‘ pork’d maim’ed G’oldberg g’oldberg’.’
[Nevermind me, just checking the tubes.]
Otto Reimer: Don’t make us get the Hispanic Bush out, we got him.
Oh, God, NO! Not the little Brown one!!!
Minnie Mean: Y’also?
stew: Zorg: Dick Parry?
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas: Do it.
schnippy: He will sell no wine before its time.
Otto Reimer: People of color were being treated well in Texas in 1889? I think there is much proof to the contrary.
Quite a few of you down there act like you invented the universe, and then don’t seem to get why everyone else hates you.
And…that’s all I have to say to you.
Good day, sir.
Cat fight!
FlamingSooner: “Good day to you, sir.” The “Eat a bag of flaming dicks” of the Edwardian era.
Oh, you damn libruls. Don’t you know that she was referring to “gay” in Merriam-Webster’s first sense: “a: happily excited : merry b: keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits.” Because Rick Perry is just peaches and cream happy and excited … just think about how alive and exuberant he was about the federal stimulus money.
azw88: Well that breaks my heart a little, though it wouldn’t have phased me at all had Barbara’s beautiful mind said it.
Now, moving on.
FlamingSooner: You insipid ass from where dreams go to die, little known fact, Texas history did not start in 1889. When San Antonio was with Mexico, see my family has been there since 1720, we didn’t have slavery, but we did have a rather fascinating 14 point caste system, which a story for a different time.
See, giving a slave a horse, a rifle and provisions to sleep out on the range for a weeks at a time ranching for you was consider pretty much a dumb ass idea. We didn’t really farm that much, except for small family plots and so forth. It wasn’t till Indian-raping and baby-skull fucking gringos such as yourself arrived that slavery was even introduced to fine land of Texas to grow cotton.
But Germans you say! You said you were half-Prussian!
No shit, and said Germans actually sided with the fucking Union and said slave-owning Indian-killing gringos came and massacred our entire towns in the name of Confederacy. In fact, we have the only pro-Union memorial in the entire “South”, though Texas will always be Texas. Take a gander: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nueces_massacre.
Now, I will grant you when your kinsmen came in, yeah, slavery was forced into our society least you massacre and skull fuck more of our babies like you did the Indians.
So, sir, it is a good day to explaini to you why you hate babies and dream of their split skulls in your bed, and I have all day to do so.
Watching Okies and Texans fight is cute. Seriously, talking about “race to the bottom”, you guys. Jeeze.
Gold Stocks…… The New Buzz….I’ve never been a gold bug but thats starting to change. I made fun of them for years. I now am betting more and more on gold stocks lately. It all just makes so much sense http://tinyurl.com/cheap-gold-now
lionboy: John Haggee.
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas: Her USA bank account? Not something at the Bank of the Cayman Islands, under a false ID?
Zhu Bajie
Kingbee: Well, 100+ years ago, ca 1900 (Conservative Golden Age), “gay” meant “prostitute.”
Zhu Bajie
CorkPopper: Yes, I remember!
FlamingSooner: Well, I expect that at one time, if you were a very light-skinned “black” person, like, say, Madison Hemmings, you could immigrate to Texas and pass for a White man without too many questions being asked. I suspect that there are a lot more “Jamaica White” people, north and south, than anyone wants to think about.
Zhu Bajie
Wow. Who knew Kay played so rough?
Can’t we all just agree that both Texas & Oklahoma suck dirty, smelly balls and move on? Seriously, someone needs to invent a force field separating our precious Northeast from the rest of you animals.
-Love,
James
zhubajie, come one. For the second time, you can quote multiple individuals in just one post. Otherwise, it really does look like your spamming. Really, take the hint, man.
The agriculture boom is just getting started! This article explains it all better than anything http://bit.ly/ag_opportunity