Never Mind, National Review Is Birthers, Too

  that didn't take long

What beer will the Witch Doctor drink??????????Remember that weird day earlier this week when famous wingnut pamphlet National Review made that bold anti-birther stand, saying it was really time to distance the once-respected conservative mag from the retard-right “Nobama’s the illegal alien” trailer-park circus? Well, ha ha, whoops, never mind: “On reflection, I think this was an ill-considered assertion.” And blam, four pages of Errg, where’s the long-term certification I heard that’s considerable different from short-stop computer certificates? Blacks can’t be president! [National Review]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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92 comments

  1. nestor

    I will now summarize the first two paragraphs of that article:

    HE’S A GOD DARN MUSLIN!!!

    That’s all I could get through.

  2. Advocatus_Diaboli

    Sweet! Oh thank you for keeping this alive another day. This is the best performance art ever.

  3. memzilla

    It’s been said better, but I’ll say it again: it’s not about Musliminity, it’s about Obama being black. Everything else is just code words to prosecute him for this fact. It’s why the birfers can never be satisfied.

  4. Extemporanus

    If Obama were to schedule a “Your Own Urine Summit” with the National Review editorial board, I’m sure this whole little misunderstanding could be cleared right up.

  5. hobospacejunkie

    [re=374929]nestor[/re]: Man, it gets really tiring saying this but there’s no other interpretation. You are correct. Yes. But take it one step further & replace Muslun with the N word. Then you’ve distilled every birfer “argument” to its essence.

  6. whiskey tango foxtrot

    I was thinking “Oh, it’s gotta be one of those dimebag nutjobs at The Corner, couldn’t be The Real National Review”. Then I moused over. By gum, it’s the real deal! Nice save, NR, you pulled this one from the brink of obscurity just in time!

  7. Lord Growing

    So Orly Taitz is the new Limbaugh? How long before Olbermann starts calling her “Boss”?

    As for the alt-text: If I remember “Things Fall Apart” correctly (and I’m pretty sure I don’t), Obama will be drinking palm wine.

  8. RoscoePColtraine

    The desire to believe something, wanting it to be true, evidence to the contrary be damned, is especially strong with persons of low intellectual heft. It’s no coincidence that these people also cling to religious dogma.

  9. Don Juanquete

    His publisher is Encounter Books, also publisher of David Horowitz, William Kristol, and Thomas Sowell…

  10. norbizness

    “National Review” must be shorthand for “National Review of the Most Banal, Mouthbreathing Morons Imaginable.”

  11. Advocatus_Diaboli

    So why did Biden show up at the last minute? Was Crowley afraid he was walking into a trap?

  12. My choice. My Wonkette.

    [re=374947]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Religious dogma is a fine, time-tested lie, compared to the cheap propaganda these fartsacks believe. In fact, when right-wing propaganda conflicts with religious dogma, these shits always choose the former (and make a bold stand against helping the poor). Of course, this whole birther thing is a little confusing, but like Ken said, blacks can’t be president. Of course, Jesus was the first capitalist and Obama invented socialism, in 1986, so maybe it’s not about race.

  13. JooJoo Bee

    It’s hilarious that they’re giving so much cred to the media-grabby ramblings of an 85-year-old blacklady. And wondering why Obama doesn’t request the effing long form from Hawaii’s hungry mawful of long forms and plaster it all over the interwebz to make the birthers look like fools. They’re doing a fine job of that without Obama’s help. National ha ha Review ha ha. They had it right the first time. Effing flip-floppers.

  14. rereridiculous

    Even a broken watch is right twice a day, that is, until you smash it onto the concrete.

  15. torera

    From available evidence plain to see in both print and electronic MSM, the US edyakayshonal system has produced many many sheeple who don’t know the meaning of words like “from,” “of,” “on,” “before,” etc. So no wonder everyone’s confused about certificate and certification. Just sayin.

  16. Don Juanquete

    The New McCarthyism=All Muslims are the same, which is why Barry bombed the WTC.

    This McCarthy is not the last of the blowhards to keep repeating Saddam was in bed with Osama, was in bed with…

    But they [democracy and stability] are not the primary goal of this war, which is to destroy the network of Islamic militants who declared war against the United States when they bombed the World Trade Center on February 26, 1993, and finally jarred us into an appropriate response when they demolished that complex, struck the Pentagon, and killed 3000 of us on September 11, 2001.

    That is why we are in Iraq.
    http://www.nationalreview.com/mccarthy/mccarthy200506290912.asp

  17. grevillea

    There’s a tape of Nobama calling the Hawaii Records Office saying “Don’ be lettin’ dem dumb-ass honky cracker whiteys be gettin’ all up in mah bidness, girlfriend!” Why won’t U/Tubez release it??!!!!!

  18. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=374957]My choice. My Wonkette.[/re]: Yes, and if one can believe something others know to be untrue, one can believe anything. The important thing is to separate the manipulators at the top, who know when something is bullshit and preach it anyway. Scare tactics and fear are great tools if you want to control people. I always imagine the right wing pundits, authors and talk show hosts secretly know that their message is pure crap, but see it as a ticket to fame and fortune.

  19. tiny mexican

    I didn’t read it, BUT I heard he actually cites the Whitey Tape guy at the end of the article. For seriously.

  20. shadowMark

    Oh man, that is four pages long!. If it weren’t for the pretty girl in the J. Crew ad to the right I wouldn’t have made it. I recommend everyone just jump to page four. That’s where they talk about Muammar Qaddafi being all cuddles with Obama and how there are rumors that those countries you know Islamic countries sent Obama campaign funds. It was four pages long and all it said was Okay we’re on board with the nuts.

  21. RubberSoul

    The “Reclaim Your Brain” ad banner on the NRO page couldn’t have found a better target audience.

  22. Country Club Jihadi

    I love this shit because it encourages me to get to the mosque on Fridays, for sanity. I will, of course, pray for all of you when I am there.

  23. drrty martini

    Four pages long with links to Newsmax, WND, AND The Corner as sources. McCarthy could stand to try just a little harder. I am ashamed of him, as is K-Lo.

  24. thehelveticascenario

    Here is something that someone has actually written, and “thought”, to explain how Obama’s birth was mentioned in the Hawaii papers. It’s not quite claiming there was time travel involved, but it’s close.

    “Barack’s mom and maternal grandparents had a strong incentive to create a paper trail documenting Obama as a US citizen back in 1961 and it had nothing to do with assuring his future viability as a Presidential candidate. All they needed to do was imagine a day when the white Ms. Dunham would be engaged in a custody fight in a Kenyan court contesting the fate of a black Kenyan baby sought by the black Kenyan father and his African family, and their course would have been clear.”

  25. Atheist Nun

    If I may pull a quote I saw last night on Fark:

    “When you go to the DMV to renew your license and they accept your two forms of ID, if a homeless guy on the sidewalk asked you for a third form of ID on your way out after you were finished, would you race home to go get it and bring it back to show him?” (lulz.)

    Obama released everything he needs to release, why should he do anything else that might help dispel the idea that the republican party is filled with paranoid weasels and gullible idiots?

    The burden of proof is now on the wild-eyed howling lunatics: I’m sure they’re just waiting for “the right moment” to release Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate®, right? Limbaugh is just waiting for “sweeps week’ or something…

  26. Bad Kitty

    Why is nobody calling for Saint Mountain Man’s (Todd Palin’s) long-form voter registration application? Why is nobody on the right calling for innocent baby Saint Trig’s long form birth certificate? Oh, I forgot: They aren’t black! My mistake. Move along.

  27. bitchincamaro

    I’ve been silent on this O/T subject until now. If Hollywood wants my attention and dollars for one of their products, they’ve got to find a shill better looking than my younger sister to get me to google Fandango. Sheeesh. Aren’t 500 days up yet? End of rant.

  28. geminisunmars

    Oh crap. I already cancelled my subscription to the Nation Review earlier this week when they disavowed themselves from our birther brethren. And that one was at special rates too.

  29. JoethePlumber

    All they are asking for is a primary source document- like the blog post on Sweetness and Light that proves that Barack Obama is so totally a liar.
    And like the newsmax post that says he is so totally financed by foreign muslimers.
    I had never even heard of sweetnes and light or newsmax or foreign muslimers before now. What is happening? Where is my certificate of live birth? Who am I and where is my primary source? I need a constitution to hold.

  30. Wet Work

    Funny how teh Birtherism suddenly became AN ISSUE again just as the health care debate got started.

    Then, when it looked like all of Hopey’s grand plan was in the crapper, NRO, Redstate et al decided the Birthers are wrong.

    Next, it looks like CommieCare might happen after all and guess what? OBAMA’S A FURNER AGAIN!!!

    Coincidence? OR MAYBE CONSPIRACY?!? HENGGG??!?

  31. Mad Farmer Manifest

    There we go. NRO is back to pretending to be reasonable while making unreasonable demands/suggestions. Douches.

    Is that the same Andrew McCarthy that made all those crappy movies, like Mannequin?

    /Looks out window to see Four Horsemen going away. For now.

  32. SayItWithWookies

    [re=374987]bitchincamaro[/re]: If you’re trying to get your sister a date, you could just post her picture on Craigslist like normal people. Before they get disgusted and resolve never to do that again, that is.

  33. Cicada

    If there is an afterlife, William F. Buckley is stabbing himself in the eyeballs with a fork so he won’t have to witness this stupidity.
    I mean the guy was a vile pretentious conservative douchebag, but he had standards.

  34. Better American Than You

    Being a native of New Haven, Connecticut, George W. Bush cannot be President of the Republic of Texas. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

  35. x111e7thst

    [re=374989]JoethePlumber[/re]: Turn to Jeebus and Rush for answers. You will understand the full extent of the Ghey Muslin FrancoSocialist conspiracy and how only the blessed Sarah of the Snows can lead you out of this wilderness.

  36. Cinderella Boy

    It’s all fun ‘n snark till Barry Soetoro v. Richard Von Brunn Part Deux.

    I’ve lived 32 of my 34 years in either Georgia or North Carolina and my only question is: why do we keep daring the crazies to go all rogue martyr on us when they’ve proven SO MANY TIMES that they’re happy to do so?

    Don’t they even realize Barry isn’t even a progressive transcendent? He’s turning out to be regular old crackers. Not a Ritz.

  37. desertwind

    Oh, thank goodness. Now the earth can return to spinning on its access. The sun will rise in the East and set in the West.

    Whew. That was close.

  38. SayItWithWookies

    So the premise of the (I can’t believe I read that whole damn) article is that while of course President Obama was born in the United States, he still might not be a citizen, but more importantly is that he lies about everything. I mean, anybody who can lie, like he did that one time, about how he met his wife, and who never mentioned that when he was ten he could’ve chosen to have Indonesian citizenship and then startled — startled! — Nicholas Kristoff with his fluent rendition of the opening lines of the muezzin’s call to prayer — why someone like that might just be lying to us about the insidious evil of health care, too!

    And it also lets the author pen this bit of unironic nonsense:

    There may be perfectly benign answers to all of this. But the real question is: Why don’t the media — the watchdog legions who trekked to Sarah Palin’s Alaska hometown to scour for every kernel of gossip, and who were so desperate for Bush dirt that they ran with palpably forged military records — want to dig into Obama’s background?

    Hey — um — Mr. McCarthy? Dude in the media? Why don’t you call people and maybe get on a goddamn plane and find out? Your rag is funded by rich assholes — I’m sure some of them will pony up for a little investigation. As for why the rest of the media doesn’t investigate — it’s because they think the controversy is dead. Mostly because of idiots like you.

  39. widget09

    This must be cominng from the “ERRRRR, ERRRRR” department at the national review.

  40. Servo

    Despite all the bile and hatred spewing from these racist assholes, Obama has still pushed feverishly to get them affordable healthcare. Kinda reminds me of the black fighter pilots of WWII. They were true Guardian Angels that saved the asses of countless racist morons and got little or no appreciation.
    Let ‘em shout and scream. The voting public is getting a good, thorough look at the real face of the Repugnant party and their despicable followers.

  41. Servo

    [re=374987]bitchincamaro[/re]:
    Fandango? As in: “That’s one small step for a Groover, boys! One giant leap for weenie-kind!”

  42. Advocatus_Diaboli

    I, for one, welcome our new birther overlords. Because without them, the dems will do enough to themselves to fuck up the mid-term elections.

  43. President Beeblebrox

    Look, the whole thing can be summed up in one slightly adapted scene from Blazing Saddles. ‘cos it’s just more fear of a Black Planet.

    “Strike up the band!”

    Town band plays next to a gigantic “WELCOME PREZNIT!” banner.

    Town clock begins to chime 12.

    *BONG!*

    Old grizzled guy with spyglass on a roof looks out and sees a black guy wearing a star mounted on a white steed approaching the town. He turns and yells

    “Hey! The President is a Nig*BONG!*”

    “What’d he say?”

    “The President is near!”

    “No, gadblarmitgoddarnit! The President is a Nig*BONG!*”

    Barry rounds the corner with his six-pointed Presidential star on his chest, smiling at the townsfolk, who are raising cheers to the heavens…. until they see he’s black.

    Band stops mid-stanza, cheering dies down abruptly.

    Dumbstruck citizens stare on as a Black President rides by them, tipping his head.

    “As chairman of this welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend this laurel … and hearty handshake to our new … ” he looks at the new ebony President… “Nigger.”

    Barry grins.

    Town drunk falls off his chair.

    “WELCOME PREZNIT!” banner rolls up like a windowshade.

    Barry pulls the banner back down, grins at the welcoming committee, and ascends the dais.

    “Excuse me while I whip this out.”

    Everyone screams.

    Barry pulls out a speech.

    “By the power vested in me by the voters of this country…”

    Guns are cocked and pointed at him.

    “I hereby assume the duties of the President of the United States.”

    Preacher: “Let us not allow anger to rule this day!” Holds up Bible, which is shot to pieces. “You’re on your own!”

    I’ll leave the sheriff-kidnaps-self scene to your imagination…

  44. druranium

    [re=375007]Cinderella Boy[/re]: That was the most horrible part of the campaign. Watching Sarah + John pour kerosene on the flames of racism. Now it is the most horrible part of daily life thanks to the precedent set by them.
    I never knew that people like you describe physically existed until i visited Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi. I was nearly lynched while eating at the waffle house by a toothless cretin at an adjoining table for committing the egregious act of being a girl with short hair.

  45. SayItWithWookies

    Restaurants: It shall be unlawful to conduct a restaurant or other place for the serving of food in the city, at which white and colored people are served in the same room, unless such white and colored persons are effectually separated by a solid partition extending from the floor upward to a distance of seven feet or higher, and unless a separate entrance from the street is provided for each compartment. Alabama

    Amateur Baseball: It shall be unlawful for any amateur white baseball team to play baseball on any vacant lot or baseball diamond within two blocks of a playground devoted to the Negro race, and it shall be unlawful for any amateur colored baseball team to play baseball in any vacant lot or baseball diamond within two blocks of any playground devoted to the white race. Georgia

    http://www.nps.gov/malu/forteachers/jim_crow_laws.htm

    I swear I’ve heard about laws requiring black people to produce identification whenever it was demanded of them. Which for some reason I was strangely reminded of, though I can’t for the life of me figure out why. But in the course of looking for that, I ran across the above. Many more interesting examples are at the National Parks Service site there.

  46. Cinderella Boy

    Anytime we can work in a “genuine frontier gibberish” Gabby Johnson reference, it’s a good day.

  47. Humpback

    Earlier this week, Glen Beck said, in the space of twenty seconds, both “[Obama] has a deep-seated hatred for white people” and “I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people.”

    And now the National Review pulls a 180 on the birther issue.

    Forget logic or consistency, has the right wing perfected oxymoronic self-contradiction?

  48. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Why don’t the media — the watchdog legions who trekked to Sarah Palin’s Alaska hometown to scour for every kernel of gossip

    Mmm, yes. He has a point. Not a single reporter has ever gone to Obama’s hometown. In fact, Hawaii may not even exist! It’s a conspiracy!

    and who were so desperate for Bush dirt that they ran with palpably forged military records

    Remember those days when Dan Rather was the only reporter in the entire media establishment?

    — want to dig into Obama’s background?

    Indeed. For all we know, he may have a crazy pastor, or spent time on a board with an alleged terrorist! We will never know, for the media refuse to dig into Obama’s past, instead taking the word of obvious Democratic stooges like the State Department, the state of Hawaii, and the Supreme Court, that Obama is not a secret Kenyan Muslim traitor.

  49. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    [re=375037]Humpback[/re]: has the right wing perfected oxymoronic self-contradiction?

    Well, a year ago, questioning the president’s honesty and loyalty made you a deranged traitor, now it makes you a patriot. Does that count? You used very big words.

  50. Hawaiiexpat

    Idiots. Honestly, birthers are snark kryptonite. I can’t manage anything clever at the abject and galling stupidity of them all.

    WTF. Bring back hiking the Appalachian Trail or something.

  51. lulula

    [re=374935]memzilla[/re]: I agree that race is the factor behind the attempts to delegitimize Obama’s presidency, and get him kicked out of the country on a visa violation, or whatever. But I think that for some of the nobama crowd, the fact that they think that’s he’s a muslin, is just as much as a strike against him as being black. I guess what I’m saying, is that I don’t think all of the “Barry’s a secret muslim” and therefore shouldn’t be president is *just* a cover-up for good-old fashion american racism. Some of it may be. But, I’m sure that if we ever elected a Muslim president, even one of European decent, the rightwing blogosphere would be just as batshit crazy.

  52. facehead

    There’s an interesting variation amongst Buddhist birthers. They hold that not only was Obama not born in America, no previous incarnation of Obama was either.

  53. honkyman

    William F. Buckley had no standards. As Gore Vidal kindly pointed out, he was a crypto-Nazi, or more politely, a crypto-fascist. He was a degenerate homophobe and the evil piece of shit he founded called the National Review is the literary equivalent of the Protocol of the Elders of Zion.

    Otherwise, Buckley was a pretty nice guy.

  54. JSDC007

    Those Birfers must have threatened corpulent illegal alien lesbionic Kathryn Lopez with instant deportation.

    Or threatened to firebomb the nearest Dunkin Donuts.

    Either way, she’s still a moron.

  55. Bad Kitty

    Trick and Trapp were conceived on a TRIPP to BRISTOL, to hide a vandalized TRUCK and an Alaskan TROLL and it’s all a TRILOGY of falsities (or falsies) to discredit a black man who had the AUDACITY to HOPE for something other than pea-brained Armageddon. That’s the REAL conspiracy.

  56. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    While McCarthy makes some good points, I surprised he forgot to mention how in October when it looked like he had a chance of winning, Obama flew back to Hawaii, killed his grandmother, mind melded with all the male public officials and slept with the female ones so that they would claim that he was actually born there.

    Damn it all, the National Review once stood for journalistic integrity. Or at least for not blatantly publishing propaganda. Good God, who would suspect that they would make World Net Daily look semi-rational. Might as well go right for the Washington Times or Examiner.

    [re=375038]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: And let us not forget that the Clinton campaign had a fierce “no personal attacks on the foreigner” policy.

  57. iburl

    I have a message for Andrew C. McCarthy. How do you say “douche” in winger? Oh, I remember… MORAN!!!

  58. Beanball

    [re=375049]facehead[/re]: “There’s an interesting variation amongst Buddhist birthers. They hold that not only was Obama not born in America, no previous incarnation of Obama was either.”

    Totally genius.

  59. lulzmonger

    Yessssss! NRO, back on the Crazytrain Express where they belong!

    See what happens when they stop taking their stupid-pills for one lousy day?! All heck breaks loose! Thank Cthulhu that’ll never happpen again … an empty head is a terrible thing to fill.

  60. showmeonthedoll

    [re=375029]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “I’ve heard about laws requiring black people to produce identification whenever it was demanded of them…”

    Those would be the apartheid Pass Laws of South Africa.

    In case you were wondering where some of the playbook ideas came from regarding the practice of giving legislation deceptive names that describe the opposite of what the laws actually require, look up the “Blacks (Abolition of Passes and Co-ordination of Documents) Act No 67 of 1952.”

  61. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=374929]nestor[/re]: If you had read more, you would have found out that he is, in fact, a Muslim Commie. But he may be American, so he can be President. We just have to shoot him for treason on account of the fact that his Momma slept around with brown people.

  62. imissopus

    [re=375029]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Two blocks? Oh noes, the colored virus has become airborne!

  63. jasper f. krone

    What does it say about Microsoft that the Vibrant In-text Ad on the word “Kenya” is for Bing? Is Bill Gates the new Walt Disney?

    “If you’d like to learn more about Kenya, or Kenyans, or if you want to run as fast as Kenyans, and then be deported back to Kenya, try BING!”

  64. stumpycuse

    [re=375004]Better American Than You[/re]: Brilliant! It’s ok for an erudite white male to portend that he gives a rat’s to placate the lower class, white, southern Americans while exploiting their racism and insecurities for votes to complete the needs/desires of the otherwise rich and fortunate; but it’s anethema to have a black male American play politics and exploit the insecurities of Muslims, liberals, Democrats, vocal anti-war activists, and otherwise sane persons to gain an otherwise greater good. Because niggers are bad.

  65. Hopetarded

    [re=375050]honkyman[/re]: In other words, he’s better than 99% of today’s rightwing stooges.

  66. Paul Tardy

    Can someone explain why the child of a US citizen born abroad is not a natural born citizen? Maybe a test case can be arraigned by having such a person file to run in 2012 as an independent and have the wing nuts sue to stop it. Then a free for all of friend of the court actions will follow.

  67. MoreZitiPlz

    [re=375139]Paul Tardy[/re]: They are. This thing is all turtles, all the way down.

  68. lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=375050]honkyman[/re]: Buckley was actually worse than you describe. For example, he put together a group to buy a classical music radio station, talking about how high culture must be preserved at all costs, and as soon as it was final, sold to the first Clear Channel type that made a hefty offer. He then granted an interview (according to a friend of mine, he sat at a piano playing classical pieces during the interview) and said that flipping the radio station, which started playing country music ASAP, was a glorious example of unfettered capitalism. If Nixon was the GOP Hitler, surely Buckley was their Leni Reifenstahl (he wasn’t important enough to be Goebbels).

  69. TGY

    Tomorrow’s forecast is for continued idiocy, briefly illuminated by flashes of sanity, quickly suppressed.

  70. amarikah

    [re=375139]Paul Tardy[/re]: Those children are entitled to citizenship but don’t receive it automatically at birth (aren’t natural born). Before being laid-off, I dealt with furriners who, after entering the U.S. on a visa, suddenly remembered that ma/pa was a U.S. citizen and wanted to be one too! But since they hadn’t entered the U.S. or applied for citizenship before turning 18, no dice. I got to introduce them to the wonderful U.S. employment-based permanent residency process and its 10 year waiting periods. Good times!

    http://www.legalzoom.com/legal-articles/born-abroad-child-still-citizen.html

  71. WIDTAP

    I want to know why New York has not release any records regarding Andrew C. McCarthy raping little boys. What is the State trying to hide? Doesn’t seem strange that they would not want to release records like this?

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