TYPICAL  1:59 pm July 30, 2009

Barack Obama Gives Presidential Medal of Freedom To Bunch of Homosexuals, Blacks, Women & Muslims

by Ken Layne

Totally gay!Today, the LG-BLT crowd is finally happy with the breeder Barack Obama, because he has awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to an alive lesbian (Billie Jean King) and a dead gay man (Harvey Milk) along with many sundry black people from both Africa and (maybe?) the United States. Also: Stephen Hawking, a known scientist/god-hater and Englishman, and Ted Kennedy, a liberal. Full list after the jump!

Courtesy of the White House blog, which we (the Americans) own just like we own Chrysler now, here is the list of the 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom honorees:

* Nancy Goodman Brinker is the founder of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, the world’s leading breast cancer grassroots organization.

* Pedro José Greer, Jr. is the Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs and Florida International University School of Medicine. He is also the founder of Camillus Health Concern, an agency that provides medical care to over 10,000 homeless and low-income patients each year in Miami.

* Stephen Hawking is an internationally-recognized theoretical physicist, and is the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University.

* Jack Kemp was a U.S. Congressman, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, and Republican Nominee for Vice President in 1996. He died in May 2009

* Sen. Edward Kennedy is one of the longest-serving and greatest Senators of all time. He has worked tirelessly for health care reform over the last five decades.

* Billie Jean King is known for winning the famous “Battle of the Sexes” tennis match, and championing gender equality issues not only in sports, but in all aspects of life.

* Rev. Joseph Lowery has been a leader of the civil rights movement since the 2950s, and co-founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference with Dr. Martin Luther King.

* Dr. Joseph Medicine Crow is the last living Plains Indian war chief, and author of works on Native American history and culture who has served as an inspiration to young Native Americans across the country.

* Harvey Milk was the first openly gay elected official from a major city in the United States. He was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977, and encouraged LGBT citizens to live their lives openly.

* Sandra Day O’Connor was a Supreme Court Justice from 1981 until her retirement in 2006. She was the first woman ever to sit on the Supreme Court, and has received numerous awards for her outstanding achievements.

* Sidney Poitier is an actor known for breaking racial barriers. He is the first African American to be nominated and win a Best Actor Academy Award.

* Chita Rivera is an actress, singer and dancer, who has broken barriers and inspired a generation of women. In 2002, she was the first Hispanic to receive the Kennedy Center Honor.

* Mary Robinson was the first female President of Ireland and former United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights. Since 2002, she has been the President of Realizing Rights: The Ethical Globalization Initiative.

* Janet Davison Rowley, M.D., is the Blum Riese Distinguished Service Professor of Medicine, Molecular Genetics & Cell Biology and Human Genetics at the University of Chicago. She discovered the first consistent chromosome translocation in a human cancer.

* Desmond Tutu is widely regarded as “South Africa’s moral conscience,” and was a leading anti-apartheid activist in South Africa.

* Muhammad Yunus is a global leader in anti-poverty efforts, and pioneered the use of “micro-loans” to provide credit to poor individuals.

Commenters are encouraged to say sincere things about any of these famous people, but do please note that any comments beginning with the banned phrase “No snark” will be removed, and the authors sent to Gitmo.

 
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{ 69 comments }

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 30, 2009 at 2:02 pm

What? No Gaypage award for Rick Perry or Charlie Crist? FAIL.

Gopherit July 30, 2009 at 2:03 pm

With all those gays and browns there, I’m surprised Tenet would even want to wipe his ass with the one Dubya gave him for making up all of that Iraqi intelligence.

shortsshortsshorts July 30, 2009 at 2:06 pm

Bishop Tutu gave Hunter Thompson bad advise on who he should bet on in the 1985 Super Bowl. Therefore he is a fraud.

labdork July 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm

2950s? are you using the Hebrew calendar?

iantenna July 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm

BLTs are good and all, but bacon and peanut butter is where it’s at. what are we talking about again?

x111e7thst July 30, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Dr. Joseph Medicine Crow stole a herd of horses from an SS camp during WWII. Is that cool or what.

SayItWithWookies July 30, 2009 at 2:10 pm

I guess Rumsfeld and Cheney will have to wait another year before their contributions to world freedom become so obvious they can no longer be ignored.
And damn, that group is gonna look like the couch they put all the geeks on at the pledge party in Animal House. Words cannot express how happy that makes me.

norbizness July 30, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Every time I see that unreconstructed pantload Tenet with his silly little medal-doily being placed around his neck, I try to imagine he’s really Luca Brasi at the time of death and it takes me to a happy place.

taylormattd July 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm

How the fuck am I supposed to read a list that long? Jesus.

magic titty July 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Billie Jean King is a fucking awesome human and that is all I have to say about that.

[re=374441]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Did he? Hilarious. Which Hunter book was that mentioned in? Fear & Loathing in America?? Hey Rube? I’ve read all the rest…

Woodwards Friend July 30, 2009 at 2:14 pm

My John Birch chapter has long suspected that Jack Kemp was a secret Muslin. Now we know for sure.

CrunchyKnee July 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Desmond ThreeThree, Mr. TuTu’s estranged cousin was once again ignored.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Also, Chita Rivera! ROWR. Awesome.

commiegirl July 30, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Is there even one Murkin on this list? It’s all President of Ireland this, people from Africa that. Whatever.

imissopus July 30, 2009 at 2:16 pm

I’m afraid to check out what the Freepers and RedStaters are saying about this list. Which is why God made interns. Riley! Chop chop!

Extemporanus July 30, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Martina Navratilova: “Billie Jean is not my lover. She’s just a girl who claims that I should have won the 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom.”

Michael Jackson: “Nice to meet you Harvey. That’s a really pretty medal!”

TGY July 30, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Good job, Hopey! Damn, something in my eye…

NYNYNY July 30, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Re: Jack Kemp. Giving medals and awards to dead Republicans is just a brilliant incentive program. Give em big marble statues too, I say. If it works we should be rockin with healthcare in no time.

Monsieur Grumpe July 30, 2009 at 2:22 pm

After all he’s done to make the world a better place, I can’t believe the guy holding up the “get a brain morans” sign didn’t win anything. We should all chip in a few bucks and buy him something like a dictionary or a new head scarf thingee.

TGY July 30, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=374470]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Or possibly a sign reading ‘Get a bran, moran’ for greater poetry.

gurukalehuru July 30, 2009 at 2:26 pm

No snark. Sorry, that was snark.
Also: Jack Kemp=token

Dreamer July 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Barry is committing treasonous and acts agains God by awarding medals of freedom to terrorists, known homosexuals and their sympothisers.

Come here a minute July 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Why isn’t Dr. Professor Henry Louis “Skipper” Gates on this list? RACISM!!!!!!1!!!!!

chascates July 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Pfft! Not one of these people broke laws, lied to Congress, or advocated unnecessary war. What have we come to?

One Yield Regular July 30, 2009 at 2:34 pm

What? No award for Dale Earnhardt Sr.?

But seriously: Obama’s probably giving one to the wonderful Chita Rivera in part just to piss off Jeff Sessions. Amen to that.

JadedDIssonance July 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm

I’m actually surprised that M. Vick didn’t get one in recognition of all he’s done to further the cause of Animal Rights.

Tommmcatt July 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=374478]gurukalehuru[/re]:

Ironic, self-referential use of the “no-snark” snark snark comment is allowed through the invocation of Wonkette by-law 27, “Solipsistic Funny and Post-Structuralist Joke Construction”.

Billie Jean King is awesome, as is every famous ghey person in the barbaric 1970′s who were willing to live openly. Goes double for people who were killed for it, like Mr. Milk.

TGY July 30, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=374497]Tommmcatt[/re]: True. Solipsism is always allowed under the ‘Me, Myspace, and I’ Convention.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 30, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=374489]chascates[/re]: Please. Jack Kemp was Bob Dole’s running mate. If that’s not a criminal act, I’m not sure what is.

Madeline July 30, 2009 at 2:45 pm

2950s? Ha! I knew Rev. Lowery was from the future. All that “red man can get ahead man” and “yellow can be mellow” was literal, people! They are actual red and yellow people in the future.

But yeah, I’ve got something in my eye now. I’d better go get a tissue.

qwerty42 July 30, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=374448]x111e7thst[/re]: re Chief Joseph Medicine Crow, he recounted his story in Ken Burns World War II documentary. Here is a link to his bio. Interesting story.

slappypaddy July 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm

uh-oh, watch out, heads up, now he’s done it, a squadron of ghostly raptors is at this very moment scrambling heavenwards to turn (left? right? whaddya think?) and shoot the homosekshual agenda down in also flames.

FlownOver July 30, 2009 at 2:57 pm

So we have Furriners and Murkins, xx and xy, alive and dead, and multiple races. Why no Fred Phelps to balance teh gayz?

HuddledMass July 30, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Not only did Dr Joseph Medicine Crow steal a herd of horses from an SS camp during WWII — “as he rode off, he sang a traditional Crow honor song” thus completing a series of heroic acts that made him the last actual, traditional, war chief in history.

How cool is THAT?

ella July 30, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Now will people finally stop calling him Sidney Porteeay?

widestanceromancer July 30, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Given Obama’s unflinching and courageous fight for teh gaez, Milk must be spinning right round in his grave, baby, right round round round.

sookies July 30, 2009 at 3:00 pm
FlownOver July 30, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=374531]ella[/re]: They call him MISTER Porteeay

Accordion-o-rama July 30, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Notable lack of war criminals this year.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Wait, none of these people seemed to have failed miserably at there jobs, so how do they deserve the Medal of Freedom?

ShamWow July 30, 2009 at 3:09 pm

This list makes you remember what an honor the Medal of Freedom is. This is inspiring.

pondscum July 30, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Brinker is an Illinois alum. We need some good news around here…

Gayer Than Thou July 30, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Wait, gay people’s struggle has something to do with freedom? Holy shit! This changes everything.

Also, the a/c in here is blowing dust in my eyes or something.

cybervoyeur July 30, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Actually, it’s MONSIEUR PWATEEAY.
Like twat.

Hooray For Anything July 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm

There should be some interesting conversations at the Medal of Freedom Alumni Dinner.

“What did you do?”
“Oh, I was a major voice in the fight against apartheid.”
“And, what did you do?”
“Oh, I was a leading tennis professional who made a stand for both women and gay right’s in the ’70′s. What did you do?”
“I sucked up to President Bush by giving him some faulty intelligence that led to the Iraq War.”

Lazy Media July 30, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Once again, O-dumba has bungled, sullying an award that once was reserved for Great American Men such as Donald Rumsfeld and Alberto Gonzales. I say boo.

jbd July 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

I’d hit it/him/him/them.

Senile Agitation July 30, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Ted ” I worked tirelessly (pointlessly?) for healthcare reform for five decades and all I got is this lousy medal?” Kennedy is one of the greatest senators of all time based on weight.

FlownOver July 30, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=374555]pondscum[/re]: So, this kinda balances Bob Novak. Just wanted to get that in before it became Too Soon.

GreatOldOnesParty July 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Advocating civil rights since 2950?
Eitehr that’s BC and he gets the award for oldest guy on earth, or it’s AD and he gets it for inventing time travel.

shortsshortsshorts July 30, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=374454]magic titty[/re]: Generation of Swine: Gonzo Papers Volume II. PROOF that Tutu is a terrible, deceptive liar.

laverneandsurely July 30, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Not to mention Kennedy is a murderer.

Or at least he “allowed” the woman he was with to drown. ;)

ericstoltz July 30, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Now I’m really confused. I thought the Medal of Honor was a way to pat losers on the head after they found a way to make something fubar even worse. But all these nominees appear to be do-gooders. What is happening in the White House?

twingonaut July 30, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Chita Rivera? Didn’t she say her Latina background would help her make better moves than a white male dancer? Rush, Pat, & Glen, Tell me what to think! Didn’t white dancers build this country?!?

rsynnott July 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm

I’m shocked. Shocked.

They’re all wonderful!

At least four gay rights promoters (Milk, the tennis player, Tutu, and OUR LOVELY EX-PREDIDENT ROBINSON; I used to think that the song Mrs Robinson was about her when I was a kid), civil rights campaigners, helpers of the poor, a British magician and creator of black holes… The wingnuts are actually going to EXPLODE.

LittlePig July 30, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=374443]labdork[/re]: Nah, it’s a prehumous award for Rev. Joseph Lowery XVII, the great civil rights leader in the Chinese Moon wars. He insured civil rights for folks with nine fingers.

Snarkalicious July 30, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=374489]chascates[/re]: Don’t worry. Along with the medal, they get a certificate stating that they have retroactively been rumored to bang 12-14 year olds with Gary Glitter while starving brown folks and Suzanne Sommers look on in horror. Just to mke it kosher, y’know?

Zorg July 30, 2009 at 6:23 pm

That Billie Jean King, not only did she lick every woman that came her way, she licked Bobby Riggs — and in the Astrodome, the Eighth Wonder of the World, in front of a huge crowd! Top that, Carrie Prejean!

Uncle Glenny July 30, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=374465]NYNYNY[/re]: Don’t just give them statues; give some of the mausoleums, and put them in them.

Scandalabra July 30, 2009 at 7:46 pm

When someone asks the trivia question, “What do Stephen Hawking and Chita Rivera have in common?”, I, for one, will have the answer.

bitchincamaro July 30, 2009 at 8:57 pm

[re=374534]sookies[/re]: “Go fuck yourself.” D. Cheney

widget09 July 30, 2009 at 9:41 pm

Pink Floyd is “proud” to lend their support.

nader paul kucinich gravel July 31, 2009 at 1:10 am

Neocon Bush made a joke out of the Presidential Medal of Freedom

Future of a Nation that can not trust the Government & Propaganda Media?
How many times has the Government & Propaganda Media lied to you?
Chronic lying as career path or intellectual prostitution for paycheck?
Gravel Kucinich Paul Nader McKinney Ventura Sheehan Kaptur.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Poodles, Puppets, Sham debates, Scam elections.
9/11 liars, AIPAC liars, Federal Reserve liars.
Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil?
Greed & corruption or conscience?
Leaks from Whistleblowers.

perotcharts.com

Zorg July 31, 2009 at 2:12 am

[re=375091]nader paul kucinich gravel[/re]: That is some deep shit, Dude. Especially the bit about the “Poodles.” I’m a Papillon guy myself, if you’d care to know. Let’s just tear the Motherfucker down, now!

Zorg July 31, 2009 at 2:17 am

“Cry ‘Havoc,” and let slip the dogs of war; the fearsome Spaniels are our realm’s defence/In this, the endless war on terrier.” Wm. Skakespeare; Coriolanus, Act III, Scene II

LoweredPeninsula July 31, 2009 at 5:15 am

[re=374879]Zorg[/re]: Ha! Good one, Zorg.

shodan2020 July 31, 2009 at 7:21 am

[re=374445]iantenna[/re]: Toast the bread, add a tomato slice and some Miracle Whip and you’ve got a true sandwich masterpiece, the Tomato Toastee. Try it, it’s delicious. :)

worrierqueen August 1, 2009 at 4:16 am

Presidential Medal of Freedom? Is that a poor person’s OBE?

Come back. All is forgiven. The king is dead, long live the queen.

Athar August 2, 2009 at 8:55 am

Naw, they tortured somebody. I know what people get that award for, so don’t tell me they didn’t torture anyone.

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