Wonkette
Considering the way DC interns and pages spend literally every waking hour exchanging bodily fluids and poop with each other and their middle-aged closeted bosses, the only thing surprising about the “Senate Pages Got The Pig AIDS” story is that the number of infected pages is only five. Jesus, about 98% of them already have syphilis and tuberculosis, so a measly five Swine-y flu pages in the nation’s foulest chamber of gross old men doing gross old things to weird children who volunteer for such pedophilia … well, that’s a pretty good argument for Swine Flu being “no big deal.” [True/Slant, KPCC]
That’s the happiest photo I’ve seen of Boehner since Hopey was elected.
Believe I’ll go and hire me to some man… and that’ll be the way to get me some disease
that there pig’s got a purty mowth
Geez Louise, if you combine this with the Wonkette’s America’s Teen-Aged Girls All Became STD-Ridden Baby Mamas Because of George W. Bush then it looks like the only person in America safe to have sex with is Sarah Palin. Is THAT the “plan” of hers nobody can figure out?
That pig’s got better teeth than I.
All from Obama’s health ins overhaul no doubt.
That’ll do pig.
Doesn’t the C Street Jesus Hostel have a faith-based healing clinic of some sort?
Oh wait. That’s what started a lot of these STDs.
Why does the Senate even have pages?
I mean, you don’t see teenaged boys sitting in the corners of corporate board rooms, waiting to run around and do some errands for their Kleptocratic overlords.
Minnie Mean: I bet ya can squeal like a Ned! ERRRRR!!!
“…the only thing surprising about the “Senate Pages Got The Pig AIDS” story is that the number of infected pages is only five.”
It’s especially surprising in light of the fact that Senator Lindsey Graham has a total of ten fingers. What was he doing with his other hand?!
This is hardly a surprise, considering that all Senate pages are warehoused in a muddy old pig stockyard under the Regan Building.
GreatOldOnesParty: Pages are provided free of charge to members of our august and semi-hereditary Upper House. It would be unseemly for such eminent people to have to seek to assuage their sexual urges in airport bathrooms or brothels like the hoi polloi. Oh wait..
GreatOldOnesParty: That’s because our corporate masters have the decency to fuck children in the confines of their mega-mansions. They’re classy like that.
I bet it’s like those Chinese pig farmers who keep chickens in cages above pigs so the pigs can eat the chicken shit, except instead of having fish at the bottom you have pages.
I’ll pay any one of those pages to lick, cough and spit on Max Baucus.
Cash money.
Piggy needs lipstick.
This situation seems to imply that you can get da pig flu through da butt. Hmmm… I thought that when they were talking about congress and pork they meant da money. They actually meant slammin’ da page butt? I’m confused. Are our elected representatives boning these volunteers in da poopshoot? If so, is it giving them da flu? Da aids? A reputation?
Dammit. Someone alert Foley. This must not spread to Key West.
Extemporanus: Eleven if you count “the littlest pinky”. Mystery indeed.
How many times do you have to tell an intern not to drink the brown pig urine?
BTW, this is important:
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/2202/slide_2202_28601_large.jpg
Looks like Obama’s idea of straight up giving Mexico their own Senate seat hasn’t turned out to be such a hot one, eh?
bitchincamaro: So this is all Sarah Palin’s fault?
This makes it tough on the senators…how do they know which pages are safe to pork?
If the Senate were a pirate ship, they could sell those piggy pages at the next port, or make them walk the plank. Luckily we live in more civilized times. Just exile them to Bermuda to live with the Uighurs…
Why does the Senate even have pages?
Same reason McCain’s Grandpappy had cabin boys!
prophet1195:
“Why does the Senate even have pages?”
Because the Southern senators don’t read books.
That pig is Wonkette’s idea of Sgt. Crowley after the “Beer Summit,” correct?
Or all we all over that weekend “Kill the Racist Pigs!” meme that was so much fun?
Neilist: You’re bitter because you couldn’t have your way. Get over it.
BTW, so few pages have caught this disease because most have immunities to almost everything after having to deal with the Senate.
Is that cleft Pawlenty by Boehner’s left side?
“about 98% of them already have syphilis and tuberculosis”
No clap? Chlamydia? Genital warts and rashes? No babies?
Zhu Bajie
chascates: Shouting “heal!” doesn’t work with STDs.
Zhu Bajie
prophet1195:
Because slavery has been abolished.
Zhu Bajie
I think that photo has been photoshopped. For a boar’s real dentition, see http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/4709008/101010_Full.jpg
PourMeAGoldWater: How do the fish figure into it?
I love that pig.
The problem is pork: hot dogs, specifically. The FDA under W changed the rules to allow hot dogs to be up to 95% pig anus. Since pigs eat anything, Pig AIDS in their poop passes through their anus, which flavor-enhances hot dogs, but with a price. Those poor pages are paying that price today.
hobospacejunkie: But damn, pig anus grilled over mesquite in a bun with deli mustard, that’s some good pig anus.
Speaking of pigs , here’s Lou Dobbs in his relaxing clothes ala Blingee:
http://image.blingee.com/images17/content/output/000/000/000/5ba/491126491_2012130.gif
El Pinche: Pickled peppered panniculus prepared with pig anus. It’s yummy!
hobospacejunkie: El Pinche:
I just bought this T-shirt a week ago:
http://www.offalgood.com/site/products-page/apparel/offal-good-tee
hobospacejunkie: I stopped eating hot dogs for awhile after taking a tour of the Oscar Myers plant a few years ago. The tour guide presented to our group a hot dog before they inject it with that delectable pinkish dye. Behold, it was almost transparent, with chunks . I got over it. In fact, last week I had pig nipples in milk sauce in Kyle, TX. I realize there’s a big difference between pig nipples vs pig anus, but it was a brave step on my part.
chascates: Hahaha. the other , other white meat.
Nobody mentioned bacon, so I will.
chascates: El Pinche: You guys are sick. In at least two ways I can think of right now! I haven’t eaten critters in 20 years, but I try to make up for it by smoking. And why should my tax dollars go to pay for your heart transplant when all that environmentally-destructive meat eating clogs your arteries? They shouldn’t. Which is why I’m calling on Max Baucus to limit health care reform to vegetarian smokers. The rest of you will still be covered, but your co-pay will be, hmm, let’s say $750,000. Enjoy the pig lips & cheeks. And anuses, and hooves. Do pigs have appendices?
Smoke Filled Roommate: Bacon.It’s the gateway meat.
http://www.seriouseats.com/2008/12/cheese-filled-bacon-roll-too-much-of-a-good-thing.html
hobospacejunkie: The irony in all of that is that you as a smoker are probably just as likely to get heart disease. lol
Hawaiiexpat: That might slow him down, but given the world class, free health care that he enjoys, I doubt that he wouldn’t be out of the game for long.
chascates: It’s almost there. They forgot to dip it bread crumbs and fry it. Then the world would be introduced to the debut Tempura Bacon-Cheese Weave
Hawaiiexpat: I’ll toss in $5. It’s all I can afford since I’m busy paying off $35,000 worth of medical bills.
hobospacejunkie: Do pigs have appendices?
No, but pages do.
You fucked up old hag, ha ha
charade you are
you radiate cold shards of broken glass.