Your 24-hour Cindy McCain news network brings you this Hot Tip regarding the whereabouts and identity of the mysterious “Wonkett”: It could be any number of sick and depraved individuals scattered across the country. Part-time police composite artist Lauri Apple has graciously offered to render a few of the more likely suspects. Click the little picture to ENLARGE.
{ 74 comments }
i am wonketticus
What about confectionery magnate Willy Wonkett? Oh.
Where’s the Wookie?
i thought we were all wonkett
I am Wonkett, and I shall have my vengeance, in this life or the next!
how is wonkett formed?
For the first time ever, I am honored to be currently residing in Spokane, WA (AKA The Inland Northwest’s Taint). We love you, Tommy!
I am wonkettlicious.
Ahem, socialist bloggers from AROUND THE WORLD, thank you.
Do I Wonkett? Every chance I get.
[re=373777]The Station Manager[/re]: Ken looks remarkably like Tommy. When will Wonkett post his certificate of live birf from the US government?
There are actually people named Wonkette? I thought Cindy really meant to type “Ronettes” because she doesn’t like the Motown sound.
So if I’m commenting on Wonkett while drinking a beer, Cindy, is that just some kind of circle-of-life irony, or do I have to make a snarkified comment about your cold dead shark eyes, too?
SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE “CHAD”
Je suis le Wonkette.
Vous etes le Wonkette
Nous sommes le Wonkette
[re=373794]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: Ich bin ein Wonketter!
[re=373794]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: Aujourd’hui, nous sommes tous le Wonkett.
Don’t forget Reagan McClain Wonkett, an eternally-out-of-it, psychotic, weirdly-hated socialite from Arizona.
Hey Lauri Appl, seems everything is funny to you.
We are ALL Wonkett now!
Spokane’s just a big joke to everyone, huh?
ici, nous parlons anglais ou rien.
And the Wonketts red glare,
F-Bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night
That our blog was still there.
What would you do for a Wonkett snark? What would you do now that it has a thicker chocolate shell?
The Wonkett brothers kinda look like They Might Be Giants.
Four score and seven wonkett agos..
Oour fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new Wonkettn, conceived in Liberty, and
dedicated to the proposition that all cupcakes are delicious.
Now I am becom Wonkett, the Destroyer of Blogs.
Wonkett is birthers.
You are all wrong. Wonkett is Willy Wonka’s wife.
The word is “embiggen”, not “enlarge”.
An anagram of Wonkett is Know Tet. Is Ho Chi Minh behind this?
Sorry, Wonkett; I prefer the GOP’s Health Care Diagram.
It’s less complicated.
[re=373827]InsidiousTuna[/re]: For porn, the word is “engorge.”
Cogito ergo Wonkett est.
In other news:
But had he caught a case of the gayz, there would have been all heck and flapdoodle to pay.
******
http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20090729/NEWS/907290359/1069/YOURUPSTATE01/Air-Force-Reserve-opts-not-to-discipline-Mark-Sanford-over-marital-affair
Air Force Reserve opts not to discipline Mark Sanford over marital affair
July 29, 2009
The U.S. Air Force Reserve considered disciplinary measures against Gov. Mark Sanford over his extramarital affair but has decided to take no action, his command office told The Greenville News.
Sanford serves as a captain in the Air Force Reserve. Adultery is considered a crime in the military, punishable under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Those in the armed forces also are subject to nonjudicial punishment for acts of adultery, ranging from a commander’s letter of reprimand, which can end an officer’s career, to forfeiture of pay.
How come “former best friend”? Did she get caught pilfering Cindy’s meds?
Winky the Wanker and Blinky the Bankster
Robbed a five a dime
Winky, said Blinky, ever the prankster,
Why am I covered in slime?
[re=373814]Chet Kincaid[/re]: hehehe – I just laugh/snorted and scared the beejeezus out of my co-worker.
Wonketts red glare, indeed!
Wonkett is a gay, muslin, negro, illegal immigrant panda bear with a buttsecks fetish. Also.
I make my own Wonkett or I steal it from hotels. Why pay?
We are family. I got all my Wonketts with me!
[re=373814]Chet Kincaid[/re]: Wow, what an awesome war-blog song! I’ll be singing that (outloud) when I write fake comments on Repubtard Web sites.
Why has Lauri exposed the Underground? How can We destroy America when we’re supposed to BE WORKING IN THE SHADOWS!?!
“I’m Wonkett and so is my wife!”
Don and Carlotta look a whole lot like John and Mannequin McCain. Hmmmmm, the plot thickens.
We are all just cognates in the great Wonkett of the Universe.
Wonkette is people! C. Heston
Wonk me Amadeus!!!
The picture of Cindy McCain is amazing. I had no idea that Laurie Apple was so talented in photo-realism.
Sara, me no want to enlarge diagram of Wonkett peoples. They scary-looking.
Next time, could you kindly use a powerpoint presentation. Its what any self-respecting blogett would do.
So here’s the story.
The judge said to me: “Sir, didn’t you know you were soliciting a tranny?’
Says I: “Your Honor, s/he looked convincing and told me her Wonkett was for reals.”
[re=373821]BenderFender[/re]: and should be given to ducks.
I say Wonkett
Wonkett good
I say Wonkett
Wonkett good
Does this “Wonkett” have a theme song? If not, I’d like to nominate Herbie Hancock’s “Rockitt”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK0Pi4wC8Hk
(Cindy McCain makes an appearance at 1:40)
Wonkette is a WARBLOG!!
why isn’t that one of the options?
I like to Wonkett, Wonkett,
He likes to Wonkett, Wonkett,
She likes to Wonkett, Wonkett,
They like to Wonkett, Wonkett…
I like that we’re an “underground cell”; makes us sound so dangerous! *sigh* Back to my blog, I guess.
Et tu, Wonkett.
So, let’s get this straight, Wonkette is either (clockwise from aging blond)
Hillary Clinton after any 2008 debate
They Might Be Giants
Demi Moore seen from a great distance (say, 1985)
The Unibomber
A post-office Wanted sketch of Levi Johnston
A page torn from a children’s storybook on discount at BN.com
Tim Blake Nelson, post coronary.
Those are my choices?
got a wonkett in my pocket and I’m ready to roll
I am partial to Trollop Wonkett, always have been, always will be.
In fact-Trollop, I’ll see you next tuesday, ummmkay babe?
Wonkett? I never even touched ett!
[re=373819]thehelveticascenario[/re]: They Do look like the Johns! Now here’s a fun idea (or not) – matching up TMBG songs to various players in the political arena:
Walnuts – I Hope I Get That Old Before I Die
Fox News – Museum of Idiots
The Poors – Hopeless Bleak Despair
Sarah Palin – The End of the Tour
Republican Senators in the Sotomayor Hearings – Your Racist Friend
Barack Obama – Mr. Xcitement
The Birthers – Stand on Your Own Head
Congress – Whistling in the Dark
Or maybe those last 2 should be switched?!
i’m gonna wonkett as soon as i can get that picture of cougs out of my head.
[re=374099]thebeatgoeson[/re]: Don’t forget:
Mark Sanford: Fake Out in Buenos Aires
Or is that too easy?
once i was a widget, now i am a wonketeer!
Ya’ll are socialists? Goddamn it, now what am I supposed to do. Next I’ll hear you are muslin lovers.
[re=374119]thehelveticascenario[/re]: Don’t know that one – I only went thru the ones I have on my ipod – not the entire list at “this might be a wiki”.
So how about:
Fox News alternate: Fibber Island
American People: Finished with Lies
Conspiracy Theorists: The Shadow Government
and for all the sheeple out there: The Bells are Ringing (lyrics-wise, anyway!)
[re=373775]rereridiculous[/re]: I believe the process is similar to the spontaneous creation of Santorum. At least it has the same squishy sound.
We r n yr 7 housez, wonketting yr cnt trllp wyfe.
Who is “Wonkett”?
- She is Angkor Wonkett
- Le Citoyen Américain
- Yo Mamma
Oh, and, aussi.
[re=373777]The Station Manager[/re]: If that’s the taint, ummm, you understand my question, right? The public must know. (I’m betting it’s Lewiston!)
[re=373841]Bronkers[/re]: Do you mean, “I think therefore Wonkett is”? Which would be very Berkeley of you.
So did Cindy McCain travel back in time and release this press release?
[re=374236]slithytoves[/re]: I did, indeed. Though Berkeley was not my inspiration.
High school Latin was a very long time ago, but some lessons get chiseled into the brain pretty deeply.
Ave atque vale.
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