Wonkette
It’s no secret that certain earthly beings harbor no love for the current Pope, a self-made Prada-clad dandy with a troubled past of torturing Luke Skywalker with his laser-beam hands. But apparently not even the Pope’s own guardian angel likes him very much, because it let him break his wrist a few weeks ago.
Pope Benedict XVI said Wednesday that his “guardian angel” let him down when he fell and broke his wrist earlier this month, but that the angel was clearly acting “on superior orders.”
[...] “Perhaps the Lord wanted to teach me more patience and humility, give me more time for prayer and meditation,” the pope added.
Which body part of the Pope will this vengeful fairy attack next?
Pope: ‘Guardian angel’ did not stop accident [AP]
I wish his guardian angel had stopped him from joining the Nazi army.
God is probably not protecting the Pope because he hasn’t seen his birth certificate yet.
Every time this pope breaks a bone an angel gets its wings.
Didn’t Obama meet with the Pope a few weeks ago? And now he has a broken wrist? Not a coincidence, my friends.
The mob has nothing on god. They only break legs, which is relatively healable. He breaks your fucking wrist!
Which body part of the Pope will this vengeful fairy attack next?
I like this sentence, because “vengeful fairy” works as both the subject and the object.
I wish his guardian angel had stopped him from joining the Nazi army.
Your wish has already been granted. It was the Hitler Youth he belonged too–he was too young for the army.
Too much tweeting.
David Copperfield is more believable as a infallible being. Who really believes this hokum? On the other hand maybe I just need to switch out my tin foil hat for a pointy, silk one and huff me some frankincense.
“Perhaps the Lord wanted to teach me more patience and humility, give me more time for prayer and meditation,”
Or maybe punish you for being a Nazi.
IceCreamEmpress: “Your wish has already been granted. It was the Hitler Youth he belonged too–he was too young for the army.”
Actually, Joey the Rat was a member of both organisations in most versions of the story of his life in that time period he has given.
If this guy’s god can trouble hisself enough to break his wrist for not “praying and meditating” enough, why don’t he strike that dopey Yukon grifter speechless for never thinking before opening her chichaco hole all the time?
The Pope, Hillary Clinton and Sonia Sotomayor all ought to think hard about selling their souls to Cthulhu or somebody who looks out for His own.
Bush Hates Black People
Obama Hates White People
and now God Hates Nazi Popes.
(My life is complete, Wonkette published my tip)
F the guardian garden fairy. Ever here of Karma?
Fancy having an imaginary friend when your 80. Who says old people have no imagination?
Cape Clod:
No, Obama breaks a person’s foot, not the wrist.
Enturbulate: Anyone who’s studied medieval history knows PRECISELY how infallible the papacy is/was. As in, not even close. Going to a Catholic school and studying church history actually helped discredit Catholic dogma for me.
The idea of a guardian angel always watching the things I do, like an invisible stalker, really creeps me out.
Benedict respects the total obedience of unquestioning servants who carry out sadistic orders from an absolute power from on high. What a surprise.
Mercy iz for ze weak! Danke Schoen, mein Fuhrer in Himmel, may I please have another, Sir!
worrierqueen: They have an imagination, it’s just usually called dementia at that age.
Terry: Mark my words, Skip Gates and and the Cambridge Redneck are not coming out of that beerfest unscathed.
My G.A. has lunch with the pope’s G.A. about once every week. He says the pope’s G.A. is a real boozer, three martinis — with lunch!! Says he gets the rosacea and turns belligerent and just doesn’t give a holy fuck about shit.
I hope there’s a Pope-cam for whenever he’s attacked again. I’d like to watch the ‘trial’ down in the Papal dungeon too.
When I was in Catholic school, we surmised that since priests were forbidden to touch their naughty bits with their own hands, they used the altar boys’ instead, or absent an obliging accolite, two ping-pong paddles would do a decent job of reaching “heaven”.
What this has to do with Ratswinger’s wrist, I have no clue.
So the Pope’s veil of protection has been lowered? Is it because he’s a lesbian, an atheist or had an abortion?
His guardian angel is Della Reese, and she fucked him up like she did Eddie Murphy in Harlem Nights (before getting her angelic pinky-toe shot off)
Man, what a shame. The lead singer from the Smoking Popes really looks like hell!
What’s he doing writing a book about Jesus of Nazareth? He doesn’t know shit about Jesus.
Finally! Someone besides me points out that Star Wars is an allegory for Nazi Germany and the Catholic Church (as if there is a difference between the two).
Cape Clod: Do you think they went behind the shed to share a smoke together?
norbizness: I love that scene. The whole movie just rocks. I did do a doubletake however upon learning that Della Reese is a minister. All that talk about pussy and fucking just didn’t seem to jibe. But shooting off someone’s “pinky toe” is comic gold.
“Perhaps the Lord wanted to teach me more patience and humility, give me more time for prayer and meditation,” the pope added.” Oy vey, do I know what he means.
I was screaming at some tourist for standing on the left side escaltor in the metro this morning and my guardian angle kneed me in the groin.
IceCreamEmpress: Hey, by April, 1945, no one was too young for the Nazi army. I knew a chemistry professor who got impressed into the German army even though he was only 11 at the time. (They just gave him a stick and told him he had to find his own gun.)
After the war, the family moved to the U.S. and he grew up here. But afterward, on job applications which asked “Have you ever belonged to an organization dedicated to the overthrow of the United States Government?” he would always write, “Yes. The German army.” He’d also report as his reason for leaving military service, “We lost.”
Pope Ratshit said ‘Well, sure, my wrist is broken, and I damn near pulled my cock clean off. The fact that I still have both hand and cock proves God’s love for me. Now, where is that childservant with my Oxy?’
The ass.
Blingee das pope with his torso poking out of a Panzer Mark IV, that would be AWESOME!
Zadig: Rodrigo Borgia seemed pretty infallible to me.
Though I often wondered after the Church helped out the poor picked on Nazis, how they could say the pope was perfect with a straight face.
Wait, you’re right! Ratzy was drafted at 16, but he sicked out so never actually served. I sit corrected.
IceCreamEmpress: He claims they cut him loose to go to seminary in one account he gave, which was pretty unlikely. He clearly served in some military capacity and then repeatedly lied about it. Which of course is my main issue with the whole mess, other than the fact that a religious leader should be expected to not “go with the flow” in those types of situations.
The fact he is also the main author of the church rules for covering up child rape is just the icing on the “why in the world did these people pick him” cake.
Typically, I try to post something amusing or snarky…
But that dude is a just a fuckin’ ghoul. Period. No Jimmy Choos can possibly mitigate the nightmare that is his physical appearance.
glamourdammerung: “infallible” “perfect”. The idea that a Catholic clergyman actually has to be a good person in any way to be able to wield mystical Jesus-and-Mary powerz is officially classed as a heresy called “Donatism”. So now you know.
widestanceromancer: Win.
I had a reading from one of those people who tell you in another life you were Cleopatra, etc. And he told me I had a spirit guide named Tyrone. No shit. How much cooler is that than a generic guardian angel? Don’t mess with me Ratzi!