ANNALS OF PIMPING  11:18 am July 29, 2009

Is David Shuster Going Bald, Like Virtually All Men Over 40?

by Sara K. Smith

Ha this picture is so obviously Photoshopped and also a million years oldCould this possibly be true? Famous MSNBC reporter David Shuster, who once boldly suggested that Hillary Clinton was a pimp who shopped around her daughter for cash in exchange for sex, allegedly has a bald spot, and allegedly gets very upset when his bald spot appears on the television. Who is the “source close to production” who tattled to Page Six about this possible problem of David Shuster’s? Hillary Clinton, probably. [Page Six]

 
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{ 33 comments }

thefrontpage July 29, 2009 at 11:24 am
gurukalehuru July 29, 2009 at 11:28 am

Shuster claims it’s not true. Which means, of course, that it is.

El Pinche July 29, 2009 at 11:29 am

When will America wake up? AMERICA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUNGARIAN (SOROS) / AUSTRALIAN (MURDOCH) GUERRILLA WAR!!!

norbizness July 29, 2009 at 11:36 am

“We’ve secretly replaced this vacuous talking head with a rubbery Spitting Image puppet. Let’s see if the army of shut-ins that watch MSNBC religiously can tell the difference!”

WestEdEd July 29, 2009 at 11:37 am

You know I always just assumed Shuster was gay.

But then, every once in a while, he talks about his wife and kids.

Also, Sheppard Smith on Fox, but you can forgive a guy for being in the closet if he works at Fox.

but seriously, c’mon, Shuster can’t be straight, can he? I mean, seriously.

Larry Fine July 29, 2009 at 11:42 am

Its good to rub buffalo semen on your scalp to cure baldness. Its fun to obtain it too.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 29, 2009 at 11:45 am

I heard that the entire cast of Fox N’ Friends was upset when Page Six suggested that they had brains.

Monsieur Grumpe July 29, 2009 at 11:46 am

I heard the “bald spot” was the result of his hair catching on fire and one of his staff trying to put it out with an ice pick. Apparently he’s not well liked at MSNBC.

BobLoblawLawBlog July 29, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=373351]WestEdEd[/re]: I always thought so too.

I also think he’s a fucking weasel, even though I agree with him, which bugs me cause I also think he sounds just like Kermit the Frog. And then I get angry (Why does David Shuster have to ruin the Muppet Show for me?)). And then I take my meds.

So…yeah, maybe my judgment’s skewed.

ManchuCandidate July 29, 2009 at 11:49 am

Pity pwooh widdle vane Daveed. If he keeps this up this pretension of hair, he’ll end up like that bald guy (played by Bruce McCullough) from the Kid’s in the Hall Sketch about a wig shop. Walking around as little kids and people try not to stare at the obvious wig while muttering “No one can know my secret.”

bitchincamaro July 29, 2009 at 11:54 am

He’s been using the standard MSNBC stove-black toner on whatever hair he does have, too. They used to abuse that Newsweek commenter the same way, ’til he rebelled. Haha. Why the fuck do I care?

Aloysius July 29, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Forget Shuster. There was a link on that page to a far more important story: Pix of George Clooney’s New Gal Pal bent over in a bikini. How DOES she do that without her life-sustaining mammary glands a-tumblin’ out? I gotta know!

Cape Clod July 29, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Maybe he can splice some of John Ensign’s genes into his scalp. Side effects could include an uncontrollable urge to bang your staffers. I hope his parents are rich.

DoctorCulturae July 29, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Meh. Own it David. Sure he may be a weasel, but he’s a smart weasel. My hope is when he grows up he’ll be Morley Safer.

WadISay July 29, 2009 at 12:07 pm

I can assure you, American men over 40 are emphatically not getting balled. Oh, wait.

bitchincamaro July 29, 2009 at 12:43 pm

[re=373355]Larry Fine[/re]: You could use a little more on your fivehead, dude.

Crapola July 29, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=373361]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: Shuster always reminded me of a broke-ass Phil Hartman.

Crapola July 29, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=373373]Aloysius[/re]: *Fap fap fap*…Thank you for pointing that out…*fap fap fap*

Extemporanus July 29, 2009 at 1:07 pm

One of the many perils of letting Joe Scarborough hate fuck you from behind.

(Another, of course, being death.)

Mahousu July 29, 2009 at 1:10 pm

[re=373373]Aloysius[/re]: Double-sided sticky tape. Oh wait, you probably didn’t really want to know.

lionboy July 29, 2009 at 1:29 pm

[re=373351]WestEdEd[/re]: If the question was on a test, I’d circle gay and then add ‘but conflicted.’

Better American Than You July 29, 2009 at 1:43 pm

How did David Shuster ever get a job? Or this Ed person?

Tommmcatt July 29, 2009 at 2:16 pm

42, full, gorgeous head of hair here. HAHAHAHA!!!!

rocktonsammy July 29, 2009 at 2:28 pm

That bald guy is way more interesting than unshaven drunk Keef chasing Pete Rose around.

thebeatgoeson July 29, 2009 at 2:55 pm

[re=373362]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I love KITH! And that skit is creepy!

Suds McKenzie July 29, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Get all Sam Malone on it. Wait till the last episode of whatever the fuck show your on, and pull off the tupay.

Does Tamron Hall have a bald spot?

DustBowlBlues July 29, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=373547]Better American Than You[/re]: Do not fuck with Shuster! He’s the only person on teevee or radio says, “You’re welcome.”

Everyone else plays the “Thank you.” “No, thank you.” “Thank you,” game which drives me CRAZY.

Of course, all bets are off, however, if Shuster ever misuses “Hopefully.”

DustBowlBlues July 29, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Sorry about using of course and however. Boy, is my face red.

MSNBC seems to be more blatantly liberal by the day (and that weasel who used to be Tucker Bowtie’s sidekick is on when, like the middle of the fucking night?) which I heartily endorse. The old man accuses me of just listening to news from people who agree with me. Fucking right. Why would I listen to anyone else?

After all, I’ve got the wonkette to warn me of tattooed eagles threatening my freedoms.

alzronnie July 29, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Ron Popeil makes a wonderful product called spray on hair.

Suds McKenzie July 29, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=373663]DustBowlBlues[/re]: someone else noticed that, he must have a good, very polite Mother. His guest’s almost start laughing at him.

wagonjak July 29, 2009 at 5:57 pm

I watched this interview where the camera behind him was plainly showing his bald spot and I had three thoughts at the time…

1) Never realized David was going bald…

2) Whoever was responsible for the framing of this shot was in trouble…

3) Why didn’t David just use one of those hair-colored sprays that would have hidden his bald spot without a real HD close-up?

indigo July 29, 2009 at 7:35 pm

I’ve totes seen the bald spot when he covers Countdown. I still think he’s sexy.

LoweredPeninsula July 30, 2009 at 2:02 am

David Shuster is quite possibly the biggest prig on TV, and if he’s throwing a temper tantrum about this fucking bald spot, that just confirms it. I don’t care if I agree with him or not, the guy’s a dick and an unredeemable one, at that.

Oh, as to who revealed him, we all know it’s sexy, slinky co-host Tamron Hall. I can not believe she’s almost 40.

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