annals of pimping

Is David Shuster Going Bald, Like Virtually All Men Over 40?

Ha this picture is so obviously Photoshopped and also a million years oldCould this possibly be true? Famous MSNBC reporter David Shuster, who once boldly suggested that Hillary Clinton was a pimp who shopped around her daughter for cash in exchange for sex, allegedly has a bald spot, and allegedly gets very upset when his bald spot appears on the television. Who is the “source close to production” who tattled to Page Six about this possible problem of David Shuster’s? Hillary Clinton, probably. [Page Six]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

33 comments

  1. El Pinche

    When will America wake up? AMERICA IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUNGARIAN (SOROS) / AUSTRALIAN (MURDOCH) GUERRILLA WAR!!!

  2. norbizness

    “We’ve secretly replaced this vacuous talking head with a rubbery Spitting Image puppet. Let’s see if the army of shut-ins that watch MSNBC religiously can tell the difference!”

  3. WestEdEd

    You know I always just assumed Shuster was gay.

    But then, every once in a while, he talks about his wife and kids.

    Also, Sheppard Smith on Fox, but you can forgive a guy for being in the closet if he works at Fox.

    but seriously, c’mon, Shuster can’t be straight, can he? I mean, seriously.

  4. Larry Fine

    Its good to rub buffalo semen on your scalp to cure baldness. Its fun to obtain it too.

  5. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I heard that the entire cast of Fox N’ Friends was upset when Page Six suggested that they had brains.

  6. Monsieur Grumpe

    I heard the “bald spot” was the result of his hair catching on fire and one of his staff trying to put it out with an ice pick. Apparently he’s not well liked at MSNBC.

  7. BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=373351]WestEdEd[/re]: I always thought so too.

    I also think he’s a fucking weasel, even though I agree with him, which bugs me cause I also think he sounds just like Kermit the Frog. And then I get angry (Why does David Shuster have to ruin the Muppet Show for me?)). And then I take my meds.

    So…yeah, maybe my judgment’s skewed.

  8. ManchuCandidate

    Pity pwooh widdle vane Daveed. If he keeps this up this pretension of hair, he’ll end up like that bald guy (played by Bruce McCullough) from the Kid’s in the Hall Sketch about a wig shop. Walking around as little kids and people try not to stare at the obvious wig while muttering “No one can know my secret.”

  9. bitchincamaro

    He’s been using the standard MSNBC stove-black toner on whatever hair he does have, too. They used to abuse that Newsweek commenter the same way, ’til he rebelled. Haha. Why the fuck do I care?

  10. Aloysius

    Forget Shuster. There was a link on that page to a far more important story: Pix of George Clooney’s New Gal Pal bent over in a bikini. How DOES she do that without her life-sustaining mammary glands a-tumblin’ out? I gotta know!

  11. Cape Clod

    Maybe he can splice some of John Ensign’s genes into his scalp. Side effects could include an uncontrollable urge to bang your staffers. I hope his parents are rich.

  12. DoctorCulturae

    Meh. Own it David. Sure he may be a weasel, but he’s a smart weasel. My hope is when he grows up he’ll be Morley Safer.

  13. Mahousu

    [re=373373]Aloysius[/re]: Double-sided sticky tape. Oh wait, you probably didn’t really want to know.

  14. lionboy

    [re=373351]WestEdEd[/re]: If the question was on a test, I’d circle gay and then add ‘but conflicted.’

  15. rocktonsammy

    That bald guy is way more interesting than unshaven drunk Keef chasing Pete Rose around.

  16. Suds McKenzie

    Get all Sam Malone on it. Wait till the last episode of whatever the fuck show your on, and pull off the tupay.

    Does Tamron Hall have a bald spot?

  17. DustBowlBlues

    [re=373547]Better American Than You[/re]: Do not fuck with Shuster! He’s the only person on teevee or radio says, “You’re welcome.”

    Everyone else plays the “Thank you.” “No, thank you.” “Thank you,” game which drives me CRAZY.

    Of course, all bets are off, however, if Shuster ever misuses “Hopefully.”

  18. DustBowlBlues

    Sorry about using of course and however. Boy, is my face red.

    MSNBC seems to be more blatantly liberal by the day (and that weasel who used to be Tucker Bowtie’s sidekick is on when, like the middle of the fucking night?) which I heartily endorse. The old man accuses me of just listening to news from people who agree with me. Fucking right. Why would I listen to anyone else?

    After all, I’ve got the wonkette to warn me of tattooed eagles threatening my freedoms.

  19. Suds McKenzie

    [re=373663]DustBowlBlues[/re]: someone else noticed that, he must have a good, very polite Mother. His guest’s almost start laughing at him.

  20. wagonjak

    I watched this interview where the camera behind him was plainly showing his bald spot and I had three thoughts at the time…

    1) Never realized David was going bald…

    2) Whoever was responsible for the framing of this shot was in trouble…

    3) Why didn’t David just use one of those hair-colored sprays that would have hidden his bald spot without a real HD close-up?

  21. LoweredPeninsula

    David Shuster is quite possibly the biggest prig on TV, and if he’s throwing a temper tantrum about this fucking bald spot, that just confirms it. I don’t care if I agree with him or not, the guy’s a dick and an unredeemable one, at that.

    Oh, as to who revealed him, we all know it’s sexy, slinky co-host Tamron Hall. I can not believe she’s almost 40.

Comments are closed.