SCARY MOVIES  10:31 am July 29, 2009

Shadow Army Of Liberal Nerds Will Destroy America!

by Sara K. Smith

Are you FRIGHTENED yet, citizens? Abraham Lincoln would not have cared for this at all, these sinister libtards “working in the shadows” of the publicly available Internet. Abraham Lincoln would be crying like an eagle. [via Matt Yglesias]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Dreadful Gate July 29, 2009 at 10:35 am

What? No Ken Layne?

SystemError July 29, 2009 at 10:35 am

I guess there are no white liberal bloggers on teh Interwebs? My eagle with the flag tattoo over its eye is crying now too.

lawchic July 29, 2009 at 10:36 am

The only “frightening” thing in that video is that eagle and George Soros . . . what’s the beef with Think Progress?

obfuscator July 29, 2009 at 10:36 am

brown people with funny names!!! ominous musics! ahhhh!!1!

they lose points for failing to mention birth certificates and the fact that the presznident is black.

what kind of cruel bastard would tattoo an eagle’s face?

lawchic July 29, 2009 at 10:38 am

And for the love of pete, can these crazy far right nuts start picking on some other lib money man other than George Soros? In 2009, this recurrent theme really is overdone.

Airborne Toxic Event July 29, 2009 at 10:38 am

It’s the dark people and their white overlord and, and Daniel Day Lewis running around in a loin cloth. fear, fear, hate, fear.

DoctorCulturae July 29, 2009 at 10:39 am

I am scared of people whose names are a jumble of misplaced consonants and vowels. How am I supposed to keep up my daily Boca Raton Scrabble game? Me confuse. And frightened.

The Legend of TeaBagger Vance July 29, 2009 at 10:39 am

to sum up: 4 brown people and their Jewish banker are going to destroy America.

oh how times have changed. 15 years ago it was gangsta-rappers and marilyn manson. and 15 years before that it was the bolsheviks and the chi-coms. good thing we staved off THOSE evil plots, just hope we can resist the ThinkProgress/Kos/Turks/JewBillionare cabal this time around.

the mollusk July 29, 2009 at 10:39 am

Is the only hint missing here a list of home addresses?

irisheyesagain July 29, 2009 at 10:40 am

But HOW?!!!!! It doesn’t tell me HOW I can protect America! Godammit to hell, I very much WANT to protect America from these darker than me folks, but it leaves no instruction! Maybe Glenn Beck will have the answers tonight on his program; that’s it, I’ll watch him- he’ll tell me what to do…..

GDuvall July 29, 2009 at 10:41 am

It sure is remarkable that Thinkprogress bloggers like Matthew Duss and Ben Armbruster manage to take Soros money without inspiring as much fear as the people in the video. Funny that.

Bill E Pilgrim July 29, 2009 at 10:41 am

Not to be a nitpicky but I think whoever made that video inadvertently forgot to include any white bloggers. Just by mistake I’m sure, but they selected only darker-skinned people with foreign sounding names, from among all of the bloggers which of course includes lots with white names and so on. And faces.

Just an oversight, I’m sure.

RubberSoul July 29, 2009 at 10:42 am

Isn’t that the theme music from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Woodwards Friend July 29, 2009 at 10:43 am

For a bunch of red-blooded real ‘Mericans with their pick-up trucks and huntin’ guns these people are cowardly little pussies. I mean really Markos Moulitsas is going to take down America? It’s like the wussie kids who couldn’t play sports (or spend too much time in the sun) all grew up to be evangelical conservatives.

x111e7thst July 29, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=373277]Dreadful Gate[/re]: Too white. Insufficiently scary looking. ‘Tards would look at him and fail to panic. We can’t be having with that sort of thing.

The Legend of TeaBagger Vance July 29, 2009 at 10:43 am

i recognize that music, isn’t it from the scene where Mel Gibson hunts down the redcoats that killed his family in The Patriot?

hmmmm, Mel Gibson, he of the famous drunken anti-semite rantings….imagery of him hacking away at “the enemy” with a tomahawk.

methinks “antipelosifan” is using his youtube to incite violence against these bloggers. or at least a good scalping or two.

Keram2 July 29, 2009 at 10:43 am

Personally, I’m amazed that “THE VIDEO THE GOVT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE” already has 5,009 views.

WadISay July 29, 2009 at 10:44 am

This message proudly brought to you by…uh, never mind.

gurukalehuru July 29, 2009 at 10:44 am

Didn’t make the cut, did you, Ken? You must try harder to destroy America.

Buzz Feedback July 29, 2009 at 10:44 am

Hey! They’re all brown! What a coincidence.

Shoulda put Iron Eyes Cody at the end of the video, however.

Nothing beats a crying injun.

orange July 29, 2009 at 10:45 am

Eagles are fucking terrifying.

JayRodriguez July 29, 2009 at 10:45 am

It would be funny if it wasn’t for the fact that the ambiguous nature of the video is putting names and faces to the people that crazy conspiracy nuts with guns and truck nutz should be hunting for if they want to save America from the crazy socialists. I’d love to be snarky in my response but, honestly, videos like this serve to focus hatred towards innocent people. And we see how that worked out for Tiller.

prizepig July 29, 2009 at 10:47 am

Look at those crazy last names!!! Remember 9/11!!

donner_froh July 29, 2009 at 10:47 am

[re=373283]Airborne Toxic Event[/re]: The music must have been lifted from the trailers for the last 5 Jerry Brukhiemer movies.

DustBowlBlues July 29, 2009 at 10:48 am

Oh, great. Like Kos didn’t have a fat enough head as it is. Now he’ll be all the more insufferable.

TedTheLightBulbSalesman July 29, 2009 at 10:54 am

When the sun runs out of hydrogen, will people blame it for destroying America?

greywindz July 29, 2009 at 10:54 am

A jew supporting muslims? blasphemy…

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 29, 2009 at 10:55 am

Dear Jesus, to think that I stood by while we allowed dark people to have a voice. Sean Hannity is right, they are all American hating radicals.

Still, I fill a little bit better about everything knowing the Jews are in charge.

[re=373277]Dreadful Gate[/re]: While Ken has a beard, his name isn’t foreign enough to make you want to think “Muslim.”

greywindz July 29, 2009 at 10:55 am

markos moulitas was born on sept 11th…also…

Guppy06 July 29, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=373288]irisheyesagain[/re]: Of course there’s no instructions, this way they can’t be blamed when someone properly reads between the lines and goes out with a duffel bag of ammunition.

tbogg July 29, 2009 at 10:58 am

I have a funny last name. I’m trying to destroy America. But I didn’t make the cut because I’m white. I blame that bitch Sotomayor.

Who is brown, by the way…

the problem child July 29, 2009 at 10:59 am

OMG, I didn’t realize these people were all brown. Will have to rethink my whole support for the internetz thing.

Hieronymus Botch July 29, 2009 at 10:59 am

[re=373277]Dreadful Gate[/re]: More to the point: no Jim Newell??!!!1!?

user-of-owls July 29, 2009 at 10:59 am

I guess the version featuring Nate Silver and Richard Wolffe prompted more giggles than white knuckles in the focus group.

Hieronymus Botch July 29, 2009 at 11:00 am

Newell is, after all, a red person.

KilgoreTrout_XL July 29, 2009 at 11:02 am

The unnecessary comma after “These” is unpatriotic.

Fnor July 29, 2009 at 11:02 am

1) I always get a kick out of the ‘THEY don’t want you to know!’ line. It shows that we as a culture are so interested in lording how we’re better than everyone else that even people who aren’t at all interested in learning things can be coaxed into learning things just for the joy of being better than someone else.

2) That is one damn shiny eagle.

Johnny Zhivago July 29, 2009 at 11:04 am

Why can’t we just bomb the internet?

mdotsota July 29, 2009 at 11:04 am

Where are Ken Laynowitczstein, Sarah Kahlid-Muhammed “Smith,” Jym Newokalos and Juli Something Foreign Sounding of noted libtard blog “Womkets?” Do a better job of protecting America next time, Crying Eagle!

bhosp July 29, 2009 at 11:05 am

They forgot about, whatshisname, Kumar or Harold or whoever.

SayItWithWookies July 29, 2009 at 11:06 am

Oh, of course. Calling for health care reform = destroying America. And Sean Hannity’s friend Hal Turner, who called for the murder of three federal judges (allegedly, as he hasn’t been convicted yet) didn’t make the list? Maybe he’ll be in the next video.

Bill E Pilgrim July 29, 2009 at 11:07 am

Does brown nose count?

Damn, I don’t get on any lists.

I don’t even GET brown, like Woody Allen said, I don’t tan, I stroke.

geminisunmars July 29, 2009 at 11:09 am

Ah, thanks for the list of sites where I can go to get my nefarious instructions. I’d somehow misplaced it.

qwerty42 July 29, 2009 at 11:10 am

[re=373294]The Legend of TeaBagger Vance[/re]: …The Patriot?…
No, Last of the Mohicans . A lot of British soldiers get killed in that too. Also French and Indians and American colonists.

Victor Von Doom PhD July 29, 2009 at 11:10 am

Il Fortuna would have made a more appropriate soundtrack…

bonghitsforjesus July 29, 2009 at 11:12 am

Why are these douchemongers quoting Abraham Lincoln, our first black president?

El Pinche July 29, 2009 at 11:12 am

(sniff) I’m sorry I’m so verklempt ..I’m just soooo happy to be a part of something. (sniff) God damn America!!

TGY July 29, 2009 at 11:14 am

Are you FRIGHTENED yet, citizens?

Hold me? I’ll make it worth your while.

DustBowlBlues July 29, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=373319]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: “The unnecessary comma after “These” is unpatriotic.”

I find it comforting to know these people are ignorant in all kinds of ways. But hold the phone–why no wonkette? Now i’m getting really pissed. I demand a crusade against the wonkeratti, so we can all be famous, In Sean O’Limbeck’s world.

stratonike July 29, 2009 at 11:25 am

Goody Bachman sez the internets is the Devils tool! Whereas!

freakishlystrong July 29, 2009 at 11:27 am

What about that brown cunt blogger Michelle Malkin? Bitch is crazy.

The Legend of TeaBagger Vance July 29, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=373329]qwerty42[/re]: LOTM was my next guess. wanted to go with the whole drunk mel gibson anti-semite murderous rampage thing though….

Lilybart July 29, 2009 at 11:39 am

They all look like undocumented liberals to me, how clever to choose the most foreigney looking people!!

boinggg July 29, 2009 at 11:46 am

So, what are we supposed to do to these people so we can Protect America? Put flaming bags of dog shit at their front door?

HomoPolitico July 29, 2009 at 11:49 am


Godot July 29, 2009 at 11:50 am

And here I thought all bloggers were skinny white hipsters who lived in tiny rented rooms and/or with way too many roommates because their crappy jobs don’t pay well but they just HAVE to live in the heart of The Big City.

Turns out they’re actually brown people with funny names and scary music.

boinggg July 29, 2009 at 11:50 am

Okay, at their front doors. I’m not suggesting that they all live in the same house. But they might, if they’re a cell of terrorists.

jodyleek July 29, 2009 at 11:51 am

[re=373343]freakishlystrong[/re]: And Mark Levin and Michael (Weiner) Savage…Jews, both of ‘em!

pat robertsons personal trainer July 29, 2009 at 11:51 am

[re=373286]the mollusk[/re]: yeah, they really could’ve done more for the wingnut crazies here. what? no heights & weights or last known coffeeshop where they sipped expensive lattes and hatched evil socialistic plans? i’m supposed to do this all from a mug shot? am i the FBI/ATF (except for ruby ridge & waco, b/c that was librulz tryin’ to take guns)? how the hell am i supposed to find these four browns & one rich jew in a country full of illegalzzz and rich jews?!?!?!! i guess i’ll just go back to zapping sausage & pancakes on a stick and waiting for the rapture.

Aloysius July 29, 2009 at 11:56 am

I call shenanigans here. How are we supposed to believe some Greek guy is backing the Turks? Really.

btwbfdimho July 29, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=373296]WadISay[/re]: Clearly, brought to you by the US Postal Service.

dirtydeeson July 29, 2009 at 12:02 pm

I put all my trust in the eagle with the American flag tattoo. Suck it, blame-America-first liberal weenies!

saggyboobedhag July 29, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Really, “Protect America” people? That’s the best you could do? Really?

There should at least be one ugly old woman or it’s just not that scarey. Think of all your basic fairy tales. Wicked witches and whatnot. Scarey old women are behind everything that’s truly terrifying. Snakes and ugly old hags. Now go make a better video. At least distort some of those cute faces. Amanda and Kos are just plain cute.

earnestcivilservant July 29, 2009 at 12:11 pm

[re=373323]bhosp[/re]: And you know Kal Penn, aka Kumar, left House the doctor show to go to work at the White House! Changed his name back to its brown version, Kalpen Modi, and went to work for the not-born-in-Amerika brown muslin presdint. And what’s he doing? Social networking, probably on the internets, with a focus on…Asians. Brown is the new yellow, and these people need to be told.

thegunner July 29, 2009 at 12:16 pm


S.Luggo July 29, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Who tattooed my bird?

One Yield Regular July 29, 2009 at 12:20 pm

The “GOVT” doesn’t want me to see that? If this restriction is part of Obama-care, I’m all for it.

Besides, that eagle has the worst case of head lice I’ve ever seen.

Bill E Pilgrim July 29, 2009 at 12:20 pm



Soros is Hungarian. I mean born there, though I’ve never seen a birth certificate. I know this because my cute Hungarian friend pronounces his name “Shoross” like they do there. She also says “Sharkozy”.

Fox n Fiends July 29, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Meanwhile, the pornographer foreign national Rupert Murdoch really IS destroying America. Ironical.

PrairiePossum July 29, 2009 at 12:29 pm

That’s it. I’m running to Wal-mart and stockpiling guns and ammo. When the sinister libtards try to destroy me through the public internet, I’ll shoot my computer. That’ll teach ‘em what ‘Merica’s all about.

bofm July 29, 2009 at 12:32 pm

At least these guys are not running our govt anymore, guys. This kind of stuff just reminds us of how crazy they all really are. So let’s not let them drive the bus anymore, OK?

SnarkNotFark July 29, 2009 at 12:43 pm

And what are we supposed to do to protect America from these ferners, Mr. Ominous Music Person? What, I implore you WHAT?
Oh, shoot them with Desert Eagle .50 handguns! I get it now!
Thanks internets.

pat robertsons personal trainer July 29, 2009 at 12:47 pm

[re=373375]dirtydeeson[/re]: yes but it’s one of THOSE eagles. the tattoo is like mike tyson’s, not a classy understated, comment on strength or sexual prowess. just a fucking lunatic tattoo.

DustBowlBlues July 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm

I’m sick of tired of this shit. Isn’t it time we start a rumor/safety alert on the intertubes that WiFi is a plot to sap REAL Men’s vital fluids? Funded by the Greek/Jew cabal?

davitydave July 29, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Excuse me, but where can I find one of those American flag half-masks that eagle is wearing at the end? That shit is tight.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 29, 2009 at 12:50 pm

I have a sudden urge to suck a dick and I’m not even homosexual. I think that video has secret gay rays or something.

GDTRFB July 29, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Hmmm, so the Asians Hindus Turks Muslims and Jews are conspiring to destroy America from within. Is this the first Palin ’12 campaign video???

qwerty42 July 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=373349]The Legend of TeaBagger Vance[/re]: thought of that after I posted.

qwerty42 July 29, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Kos is in the “shadows” … really?

problemwithcaring July 29, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Propaganda like this concerns me. In grainy black and white, those geeky bloggers look as dangerous as Skip Gates.

proudgrampa July 29, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=373418]bofm[/re]: Problem is, they’re not driving the bus, maybe, but they can still stop it (Repugs + Blue Dog Dems = 0 Reform).

La Cieca July 29, 2009 at 1:12 pm

I could only hear the audio, so can someone tell me whose cuisine reigns supreme?

lawrenceofthedesert July 29, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Didn’t the Stones do a song about this a very long time ago? And I still haven’t seen Mom dancing there (she’s 90 and doesn’t jitterbug the way she did). The wingnuts don’t get that the Old Gray Race Card just don’t work like it useta. They keep dressing it up in new doll clothes and trotting it out, only to watch the world yawn. The PSA, if you could call it that, was a giggle. Sure, some pickup-driving Mama in Omaha is going to believe every word, but she was convinced of all that stuff, however vaguely, before the video; it changes nothing.

GDuvall July 29, 2009 at 1:17 pm

[re=373450]qwerty42[/re]: Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen at least half these people on TV. Not exactly shadowy.

BlueStateLibtard July 29, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Steal the music from “The Last of the Mohicans” movie and put up a bunch of photos of brown people with funny furner names, oh, I’m so scared!

Anita Cocktail July 29, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Did the creators download that eagle from The Colbert Report?

RobPetrified July 29, 2009 at 2:14 pm

Wow, thanks for that enlightening video.
I was running out of people to hate, and with the exception of the socialist America hater George “Trotsky” Soros I didn’t know any of those America hating commies.
Why hasn’t Hannity warned us? Is he becoming a libtard too?

Ants in My Trance July 29, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Had to create login for this one. The idea of the Young Turks guy being a national threat is enough to get my diaphram quaking a bit.

mocowbell July 29, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Loves me that snappy soundtrack! Although I really think it works best with porn. Also.

Aloysius July 29, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=373403]Bill E Pilgrim[/re]: Greek? Hungarian? No matter, they’re all swarthy Eastern Europeans who don’t really care for the Turks, who jacked up Mel Gibson’s buddies in that Mad Max movie about the trench warfare in Jerusalem. Thusly, this Eagle-desecrating group of people with far too much experience with the internets have destroyed all pretense of believability. Worst movie since Blair Witch Project 2.

foog July 29, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=373403]Bill E Pilgrim[/re]: Soros might have been born in Hungary, but since he’s a yid, no red-blooded magyar worth his pogrom-lovin salt would claim him.

Zorg July 29, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Why isn’t Ken Layne in this infomercial? Or Rachel Maddow? They’re always at the meetings…

Jukesgrrl July 29, 2009 at 4:58 pm

& what about the Jew Basterds who are always buying us art museums and such?!? They too are destroying America, forcing all that ghey culture on us!!!11! Andy Whorehal!!! & PBS also!!!

AnnieGetYourFun July 29, 2009 at 5:17 pm

[re=373314]tbogg[/re]: I have a funny last name, too, but it’s still unbearably and unequivocally white. Which just makes it more shameful, really.

[re=373694]foog[/re]: Oh, I didn’t know Soros actually was Jewish. That actually explains alot about the paranoia surrounding him. Huh.

Kaylub July 29, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Amanda Terkel can destroy my America anytime. Rowr!

S.Luggo July 29, 2009 at 5:48 pm

[re=373881]Kaylub[/re]: How can you say that about a woman, O’Reilly says, finds the funny in everything?,_harassed,_and_ambushed_by_bill_o%27reilly%27s_hooligans_/

chowkster July 29, 2009 at 6:01 pm

The makers of the video chose these particular people because, clearly, they don’t look anything like real Americans and have funny furriner names to boot.

NYNYNY July 29, 2009 at 11:45 pm

[re=373330]Victor Von Doom PhD[/re]: This works too, try playing this in another window, muting his original, or should I say “not very original” music.

I was also getting good vibes by synching it with various songs from The Mission soundtrack., very classy, very “C Street”.

coashg July 30, 2009 at 7:16 am

Cool soundtrack. Very classy . . . .

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