The White House does not want the media calling it a “retreat,” so by simple rules of obnoxiousness: the full Obama Cabinet is having a big retreat this weekend! They are going to an outdoor adventure camp to do such things as, oh, whatsitcalled, you know that thing where there’s a big tall wall, and everyone has to get over the wall, so the fatties get lifted up by the entire group first and roll over, while the most sprightly fellow jumps last and just barely makes it, and then it’s like “Blah, we’re a team now” and stuff? They’re doing that one a few times on this retreat. No, they’re not.
No outdoor adventure camps for these old galoots, we’re afraid, although this must come as a relief to the science boy, Choo-Choo, who has a bedwetting problem.
They’re just going to Blair House, the White House guest cabin, to watch PowerPoint movies about the Downfall of America, on their iPods.
Aides promise that there will be no trust circles or “sharing” exercises, but President Obama’s Cabinet will gather Friday and Saturday to mark the administration’s sixth month in office with a high-level retreat.
The gathering, to be held at Blair House and the White House Conference Center, across Pennsylvania Avenue from the executive mansion, will feature all 22 Cabinet-rank members for a series of policy presentations, several officials familiar with the planning said Tuesday.
Two sources characterized the session as an attempt at “bonding.” Another said the gathering, which a top aide said has been long-planned, would be modeled after similar corporate events designed to provide an assessment of how the administration is doing halfway through the year.
We never get invited to these fancy things 
Cabinet Will ‘Retreat’ to Blair House to Hand Out Report Cards [WP]
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Am I the only one who thinks it’s unnecessary to take this retreat across the street when you have a damn room in your house call The Cabinet Room?
And Tom Daschle is just going to stay home and watch a baseball game on tv, and maybe reorganize his tie drawer. And cry bitter, bitter tears.
The retreats were way more fun when Bush was president and they were organized by Outward Bound.
Report cards? I’m giving them an “A” for anal. Also.
I do believe that “going on a retreat” was Mark Sanford’s first choice for a description of what he was doing when he was really schlupping that hot Argentinian – and why don’t we see more of her, now that the Northern Stupe is momentarily out of sight?
[re=372913]Kenneth the NBC Governor[/re]: You can’t walk naked in the Cabinet Room!
They deserve a break. After 6 months of Beck, Limbaugh, O’Reilly, and the rest a pajama party will be a nice breather. I hope they get lots of DVDs from Netflix, order in pizza, and play a lot of Uno.
Weed would help you guys bond, Barry. Just sayin’…
See??? We’re been rigth allalong!! He wasnt born here so hes not preasdent, so he cant’ leglly hold meetings in the whihte house!!!!111 Even nobama knos that he cant’ tredd on the CONSTUTION!!!!!1
Theyrs your prooff, libtargds!!!!
As long as they get a peak at Barry’s birth certificate, I’m cool with it.
One time, at Band Camp …..
[re=372917]Extemporanus[/re]: I betcha they didn’t have nearly as much fun sex.
[re=372928]chascates[/re]: … and hilarity will ensue when they put make up on Larry Summers when he’s asleep & they freeze Hillz bra. Oh, those crazy kids.
Where’s the “Champagne Room?”
I’m betting the WH paintball game (for team building) will be an interesting indicator of Barry’s leadership abilities. A company I worked for at did that ONCE, but it turned into a mini workers revolution as the workers shot up the managers (didn’t matter if they were on your side.)
I would certainly never DO THAT…
* Grins evilly and maliciously *
Following the Gates-Gate “have a beer” suggestion, how about meeting at an undisclosed location and getting shitfaced. That’s good for bonding.
they’re not retreating, they’re advancing in another direction, you can look it up
Last year this kind of thing would scare the bejeebers out of me… epecially if Cheney was in there with maps.
In keeping with the “team of rivals” theme, they can have six games of paper, stone and scissors going at once.
“The gathering, to be held at Blair House and the White House Conference Center, across Pennsylvania Avenue from the executive mansion, will feature all 22 Cabinet-rank members for a series of policy presentations, several officials familiar with the planning said Tuesday.”
Two things to love about this:
First: 22 Powerpoints in a row, each given by cabinet member anxious to show what an awesome job he or she is doing: major soporific snooze-time!
Second: Who are these officials WaPo granted anonymity to before they would divulge this juicy, juicy insider treat? And if you grant anonymity for this bullshit, how do you distinguish yourself from a press flack working for Barry?
Unlike a Bush the sequel retreat, there won’t be any depantsing or putting Chu’s hand in a bowl of warm water when he falls asleep during the presentation by the assistant undersecretary in charge of monetization for the Baltic States.
In other words, BO-ring.
Retreat? It’s called community organizing, except the cabinet will actually get stuff done! Also.
We got spirit. Yes we do. We got spirit, how ’bout youuuuuu!
I thought they we’re going to the same place that the AIG guys went. I mean the AIG guys spent taxpayer money and was likely doing a pre-eval for Barry. And of course, Barry’s cabinet has plent-o-taxpayer money at this point to spend…
Honestly, don’t we picture them all doing “trust falls” every morning anyway?
And on the last night, Axelrod steals a barrel of cooking sherry from the kitchen, and the whole gang drinks together, laughs about the good times they’ve had, and realizes how much they’ve grown together. Hillary and Robert Gates patch up after their big argument about who was more important in Obama’s foreign policy cabinet, James Jones makes his first ever friends, and Li’l Timmy Geithner finally makes good on his vow to kiss a girl.
Then Dick Cheney shows up and slays them one-by-one. Except the token virginal female… let’s say Janet Napolitano.
They shoulda done it in Vegas
That’s not part of the obstacle course. It’s just the entrance to the outhouse.
As long as they come back Monday and announce the outlawing of Capitalism, war-profiteering, Christianity and Motherhood, let them all have four days off if that’s what they need.
Repugs say the government should be run more like a corporation. Here you go! Except that a corporation would fly everyone to a vacation spot on a private jet and get that tax credit for a “training expense”
Women on this retreat should not attempt to fall backwards into the hands of Obama — you’ll be on a trip to GW Hospital if you try it. Ask Jill Biden or Sec. Clinton.
A Cop-A-Feel Course? I’ve never been short of eagerness and team spirit if it meant assisting a young, bejugged lady in tight shorts over a wall.
[re=372933]Chickensmack[/re]: Oh, I don’t know…
Did you ever see the Dogma 95 film The Idiots? You know that scene where the
retard birthday party degenerates into a retard orgy?
That was shot at a Bush presidential retreat.
This is time for Sebelius and Napolitano to go through their much-delayed ‘summer camp experimenting phase’.
And dibs that Lisa Jackson steals Vilsack’s underpants while he’s in the outdoor shower?
[re=372986]tiny mexican[/re]: If they were recognizing post-of-the-day, that would be my nomination. Though [re=373119]dennymcden[/re]‘s post gets honorable mention.
Looks like Larry Craig just landed his first consulting gig…
No trust circles or “sharing”…just stone-cold fucking.
I bet it is really boring until someone pulls out a bong.
[re=372913]Kenneth the NBC Governor[/re]: Hate to be all serious here, but if you work in a soul-eating grind of an environment, it’s nice to have meetings offsite, even if you aren’t doing anything different at the meeting.
[re=372958]pedestrian rage[/re]: I’ve occasionally wondered in GWB ever had a triple header with Laura, Condi and Ms. Chou of Interior (I believe).
Zhu Bajie
And Nancy Pelosi is going to a Dancing Bear party…
Paintball free-for-all!
I hope they get lots of DVDs from Netflix, order in pizza, and play a lot of Uno.
do you suppose they will vote anyone off the island?
From the Official Schedule for Weekend Blair House Retreat, from the Office of White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel:
Items to bring:
1. Bathing suit.
2. Catcher’s mitt.
3. Crossword puzzles.
4. Lube.
5. Condoms.
6. Vitamin E pills.
7. Latex gloves.
8. Baseball bat.
9. Dog collars.
10.Portable radioes.
11.Towels.
12.Extra clothes.
Partial Schedule for Saturday:
11:00 a.m.-1 p.m.: Movie: “The Birdcage”
1 p.m.-3 p.m.: Discussion group, men in one room, women in other room, bring items mentioned above.
3 p.m.-5 p.m.: Movie: “La Cage Aux Folles”
5 p.m.-7 p.m.: Baseball game, Lafayette Park.
7 p.m.-9 p.m.: Group outing, Camelot and Good Guys. Bring dollar bills.
9 p.m.-11 p.m.: Concert, 9:30 club.
11 p.m.-2 a.m.: Group outing, Archibald’s.
2 a.m.-4 a.m.: Back to Blair House for Mandatory Foam Party.
4 a.m.: Lights out! Big day scheduled for Sunday!
–Office of the White House Chief of Staff
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