- Why’d you do it, Lindsey Graham? We await an apology via your publicist, Meghan McCain. [RedState]
- Meet Aaron Schock, the handsomest Republican congressman since Mark Foley — SWIMSUIT PHOTOS! [Something Awful]
- What’s the point of a 60-vote majority if it votes the same way as the 40-vote minority? Wait a second … [Think Progress]
- A mentally challenged deaf person in Mobile, Alabama got a face full of pepper spray and then was repeatedly tasered in the gut because HE WAS TAKING TOO LONG IN THE BATHROOM. Is this in the Patriot Act or something? America, we need to talk. [USA Today]
- Alan Dershowitz insists that Heinrich Himmler was a Palestinian. OK Alan, whatever you say! Psycho. [Matt Yglesias]
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS 4:13 pm July 28, 2009
Congressman Aaron Schock Looks Tasty, Even Without Chocolate Syrup
Hola wonkerados.
To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?
Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.
blog advertising is good for you
{ 62 comments }
Thanks, now I feel all dirty for lusting after a Republican.
Maybe those Mobile cops and that pooping deaf guy can attend the White House picnic too so we can move on and put all this behind us.
“A mentally challenged deaf person in Mobile, Alabama got a face full of pepper spray and then was repeatedly tasered in the gut because HE WAS TAKING TOO LONG IN THE BATHROOM. Is this is the Patriot Act or something? America, we need to talk.”
shit or get off the pot, that’s what it’s all about and what it’s always been about, every patriot knows this, and if we need to talk about it, maybe we can all gather at the white house for beer and hash it out.
>HE WAS TAKING TOO LONG IN THE BATHROOM.
Damn good thing we don’t have a general problem with police authoritarianism. Damn good thing.
I guess that they don’t like “disorderly conduct” in Mobile any more than they do in Cambridge! The President should buy this guy a beer.
I can’t decide which is more loathsome: The actual incident or the comment by “ron9947″ after the article. The lack of compassion makes me sad, but the fact this guy’s political party is imploding at a rapid pace makes me tingly all over.
Unfair! Republican bodies are supposed to be flabby, pasty, and riddled with spider veins. It’s the law.
“The newspaper says the officers attempted to book Love on charges including disorderly conduct, but a magistrate on duty wouldn’t accept the charges.”
I nominate this magistrate for “smartest person in Alabama.”
After forcing the door open, they used the stun gun on Love.”
I too quickly read the latter half of that sentence as “the stun gun of Love”..
Dear Sarah, Please watch your kids when they go potty.
Your friends at Wonkette.
Where is Sarah Palin to comment on this outrageous incident? The world needs more Trigs, and these fuckers are trying to fry him out of the shitter!
Aaron Schock is a douche. He was on the video by the Firedog Lake guy hemming & hawing about whether Barry was born in the USA. Being a dick kind of negates the looks factor for me.
From the AP:
A spokesman for the Mobile Police Department said the officers’ actions were justified because the man was armed with a potential weapon — an umbrella.
….
They shot [Antonio Love] with a Taser when they finally got inside, he said.
[The cops mistook Mr. Love for that criminal mastermind, Mary Poppins.]
Pepper spray and a Taser? Big deal. This is the same method my wife uses to get me off the toilet.
[re=372865]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoLx8RsHN0A
(sorry)
I wonder whether the Chinese troops boots would hit Taiwanese soil before the Pershing missiles left port….
Oh, yeah… read the whole thing… Schock thinks we should threaten to arm Taiwan with nuclear missiles if China doesn’t stop selling nuclear technology. Mmm hmmm. He’s a frickin’ GENIUS. And, like all good Republicans, he cites Reagan….
My favorite bits:
“If China continues to be irresponsible about nuclear proliferation in Iran, we should tell them that if they do not care about proliferation — and since they are enablers of it in Iran — that if they don’t change their position, we will sell Pershing nuclear missiles to Taiwan for their defense.”
and
Schock’s campaign manager, STEVEN SHEARER, responded that “academia routinely looked down on President Reagan and ridiculed him when he said that the Soviet Union was going to fall into the ash heap of history.” Reagan’s controversial positioning of Pershing missiles in Europe in the early 1980s “led to the first arms reduction in history,” Shearer claimed.
[re=372868]SeminoleInDior[/re]: I think we need to send you to Wasila for some sensitivity training. Sarah has nothing else to do. Maybe she can teach you to write great speeches too.
Just remember. Aaron Schock will look like Lindsey Graham in 12 years.
Perhaps a brave & liberal gay man, willing to take one for the team, can seduce Schock and commie-fuck the conservatard out of him to save his soul. It’s never not too late.
From RedState re Lindsay Graham: “You are a pathetic excuse for a Senator… Incapable of maintaining an ounce of principle in your decisions – and giving up the game that your motives are entirely political.”
No, that would be Jeff Sessions.
[re=372882]El Pinche[/re]: “It’s not too late.”, that is.
You may have blurred out your face, Meghan, but we’d recognize those glorious, twittering titties anywhere.
When you’re done teabagging Aaron “Sugar” Schock, please drop Jim Newel a twat. He’d like to show you his motorboat.
Aaron Shock looks like he just might be hung good…probly loves cock too!
Her ass is as wide as a chaise lounge. That’s well beyond the typical republican favored spread.
“The newspaper says the officers attempted to book Love on charges including disorderly conduct, but a magistrate on duty wouldn’t accept the charges.”
Activist magistrate.
[re=372876]grendel[/re]: Too bad the Pershing missile was retired under the INF treaty in 2001. Makes it hard to get spare parts, ya know. But go ahead, Aaron, you keep givin’ us all that defense policy. You sound like a expert!
[re=372896]V572625694[/re]: Oops, make that 1988 when the Pershings were scrapped. About when Aaron was born.
Wikipedia, never wrong: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MGM-31_Pershing#Elimination
The Mobile Dinner Theatre’s production of Tommy did pretty much suck.
The grits they served during intermission, however, were delicious!
So the Palestinians were responsible for the Holocaust — that’s just parallelling Andrew Jackson’s theory that the Cherokee were responsible for the Spanish Inquisition.
I read the congressman’s name as Aaron Schlock, which was as it should be.
[re=372882]El Pinche[/re]: I volunteer. I do it for my country. Well, for your country since I live in Canada. But he’s hot so I’ll do him. Aussi.
Aaron Schock looks like Doogie Howser. Which Gay for Pay website was that picture taken at?
[re=372876]grendel[/re]: “we will sell Pershing nuclear missiles to Taiwan for their defense”
Yes, of course, that’s it! The way out of our economic doldrums! Mr. Schlock, you are a genius! The last of the Pershing missiles were destroyed almost twenty years ago — surely the scraps are still littering some army base’s back field somewhere — all we need to do is gather them all together, stuff them in impressive-looking crates, and sell them to our good friends the Nationalistic Chinese, for whom still we weep all these years since we ignored the pleadings of our dear General MacArthur — who did not die, no, he merely faded away — whom as I was saying we ignored when he urged us to go boldly into land warfare on the other side of the planet with the most-populous nation on same and said planet, but did we? Did we, I say? No, to our eternal shame we did not, so now — and heavens praise you, Mr. Schlock! — we may make amends and sell to our dear Nationalistic buddies whatever scraps of Pershing missiles we may still have lying about, and to the dastardly Commies of mainland Chine we can raise a heartfelt shout of “Nanny! Nanny! Boo! Boo! We don’t need no stinkin’ Raptors to send you or the Indians or the other Homosekshuals to their fiery graves! Nanny, I say! Boo, and boo again!”
I nominate this magistrate for “smartest person in Alabama.”
I don’t think that bar is set very high to begin with.
[re=372874]Native of SL UT[/re]: “Pepper spray and a Taser? Big deal. This is the same method my wife uses to get me off.”
fxt.
Did you read the comments on the Aaron Schock thing? Apparently, he’s a “Poo-Poo man, too”.
You have to love the flyover states. Just when you think they’ve hit an intellectual bottom, you see a post like that and realize that the hit can just keep coming on and on…
[re=372864]McDuff[/re]: Holy shit, a magistrate refused to issue an arrest warrant? This is like the first time EVAR I’ve seen this happen in my career as a lawyer type. Usually judges just rubber-stamp what cops put in front of them. I guess even Alabama judges have their limits.
In other words, fuck the police.
I advise the POTUS not to comment on the retard taser incident, he may be fronting money for some more shee shee brews if he does. And those Podunk cops can drink Cambridge cops under the table.
Looks like Dershowitz is a Holocaust denier. Ha Ha, I would stay the hell out of Germany if I were he. Yav Vashem should send out some of the boys to undue some revisionism, if you know what I mean.
‘What’s the point of having a 60 vote majority’ if you can’t pass health reform? Deanee poo it gives you more time in Afghanistan before you hit 49.
[re=372908]Joshua Norton[/re]: No, it really isn’t. But at least he’s running for Governor of Alabama next year!
[re=372887]Extemporanus[/re]: By the way, Jim, I dropped the ‘L’ off your name as a dog whistle for Cindy. No offense intended.
[re=372924]President Beeblebrox[/re]: The magistrate was saying, “oh hell no, I ain’t gonna be part a no presidential press conference. I gots my own beer.
[re=372911]dum librul[/re]: Actually she’s trying to prevent me from getting off. On the toilet.
I forgot to look at Schock.
I was, er, distracted.
As much as I’m loathe to say it, I would definitely tap Aaron Schock. Provided, of course, the only time he opened his mouth was to wrap it around my dick.
[re=372875]facehead[/re]: Don’t ever apologize for Kiss.
Semi snark-free: the deliberations of the Alabama Constitutional Convention in 1901 should dispel any doubts about where that state’s sympathies lie. No wonder Don Siegelman got framed – there are two things they can’t stand: Niggers and (after Nixon) Democrats.
In my judgment, the people of Alabama have been called upon to face no more important situation than now confronts us, unless it be when they, in 1861, stirred by the momentous issue of impending conflict between the North and the South, were forced to decide whether they would remain in or withdraw from the Union.
Then, as now, the negro was the prominent factor in the issue.
The Southern people, with this grave problem of the races to deal with, are face to face with a new epoch in Constitution-making, the difficulties of which are great, but which, if solved wisely, may bring rest and peace and happiness. If otherwise, it may leave us and our posterity continuously involved in race conflict, or what may be worse, subjected permanently to the baneful influences of the political conditions now prevailing in the State.
So long as the negro remains in insignificant minority, and votes the Republican ticket, our friends in the North tolerate him with complacency, but there is not a Northern State, and I might go further and say, there is not an intelligent white man in the North, not gangrened by sectional prejudice and hatred of the South who would consent for a single day to submit to negro rule.
If the negroes of the South should move in such numbers to the State of Massachusetts, or any other Northern State, as would enable them to elect the officers, levy the taxes, and control the government and policy of that State, I doubt not they would be met, in spirit, as the negro laborers from the South were met at the State line of Illinois, with bayonets, led by a Republican Governor, and firmly but emphatically informed that no quarter would be shown them in that territory.
One has studied the history of recent events to very little purpose who has failed to discover that race prejudice exists at the North in as pronounced a form as at the South, and that the question of negro domination, when brought home, will arouse the same opposition in either section.
And what is it that we want to do? Why it is within the limits imposed by the Federal Constitution, to establish white supremacy in this State.
This is our problem, and we should be permitted to deal with it, unobstructed by outside influences, with a sense of our responsibilities as citizens and our duty to posterity.
[re=372873]S.Luggo[/re]: I think this line is true:
“The officers really worked within the limits of our level-of-force policy,” [police spokesman Christopher Levy] said.
Of course, their “level-of-force” policy allows them to use anything shy of nuclear weapons. And even those can be allowed “provided you really, really want to.”
And just by posting a link to pictures of Aaron Schock, Riley has ended the great Twitter war between Cindy, Meghan and Wonkette.
Now Riley if you could just get Mr. Schock to ask Meghan out, provided of course she’s his type.
What?
[re=372875]facehead[/re]: Totally off topic (but fits with the Kiss video)…does anyone else think Paul Stanley is a closeted pillow biter? Or, is it just me?
Sounds like the Mobile cops lived down to the Alabama cop stereotype, but I have a question: why is a deaf retard in the store by himself? If he’s mentally challenged to the point where he goes on camping trips in a public restroom, shouldn’t one of his protesty fambly have been WITH him?
Mike gamecock Devine? Not even a (parenthesis) to set off his game cock and show it is a nickname and not a sexual preference?
Red State has some odd commentator names.
[re=372870]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He was the one groping that page boy!
[re=373030]Mahousu[/re]: Shooting pepper spray under a door is appropriate use of force in Alabama?
They must have run out of half-mad police dogs and fire hoses.
Riley, are you trying to tell us something? Do you, too, long for the schlock?
Taser and pepper spray Aaron Schock who wants to sell nuclear weapons to Taiwan and fund “terrorists” in Iran. Leave the disabled alone and pick on someone who deserves it.
I had no idea there was a legislated time limit on the bathroom though I’m pretty sure my hubby could use a Tase now and again for malingering in the bathroom.
[re=373063]donner_froh[/re]: Gamecock is clearly his Christian (middle) name.
I’m surprised they didn’t shoot him. I mean, dude was, after all, carrying an umbrella. No officers feared for their safety? NEW SOUTH!!!
Finally Riley’s rumors get the exposure and comment numbers they deserve. Sign this young man to a long-term contract while you still can, birfer Wonkett.
The comment by SuzieQ on Redstate is inadvertent irony comedy gold:
“Graham should go the way of Specter
As should any other GOP senator that votes for her next week. A vote for Sotomayor is a vote for the continued killing of the unborn. A republican senator cannot say that he opposes abortion on one hand and then vote for Sotomayor on the other.
Pro-Life Conservative and Proud Log Cabin Republican.
A stronger, larger, and more unified GOP!
Inclusion wins!”
[re=373073]donner_froh[/re]: No, no, you can’t use fire hoses on a bathroom holdout. They’re immune to water-based attacks. That’s why they had to do something chemical (pepper spray) or electrical (taser).
Well yes, the Alabama “level-of-force” guide is basically the same as a Dungeons and Dragons player’s guide. Why do you ask?
Hot bod on Schlock, but that face is a single bagger, and the brain definitely a double bagger.
Wasn’t Meghan McCain, she of the “I’m zaftig, and I’m proud” mindset, drooling over this douche and proclaiming him the “new face of the GOP?”
So much for chunky girl whining about how people only look at body perfection, blah blah blah. Practice what you preach, Zaftig McCain.
Also, keep him at the gym, girl, because as soon as those man pecs turn into man boobs, the guy will be just your typical GOP douche.
Wake me up when the Chinese poison Schock’s protein shake, and/or he’s found in bed with Bradley Cooper. (Probably under Bradley Cooper.)
[re=373939]Roslin[/re]: Wait, you meant Anderson Cooper, didn’t you?
Comments on this entry are closed.