Everybody thought it was so awesome when President Obama invited over the hostile white cop and the indignant black professor for domestic beers at his house, but did you know he is not even letting these people inside? “‘[W]eather permitting, the three men will meet at a picnic table outside the Oval Office,” reports the Boston Globe. Then, in a moment of tragic irony, the president will excuse himself for a potty break, realize he’s locked himself out of his house, decide to just whizz in the bushes instead, and all three men will be executed by the Secret Service, the end. [Political Intelligence]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • V572625694

    If I were black I wouldn’t let that cop in my house either.

  • fishandvodka

    It’s probably best to stay outside to avoid any misunderstandings. You know if they got inside Sgt. Crowley will ask for some id, and Obama would get all upity like “I am the president, yo”. Plus he has no id cause he is an illegal alien and such.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Me would love if the Preznit would suddenly say, “Sorry, no special brews available,” as he pops open a Colt 45, continuing, ” You’re okay with that, aren’t you Crowley?”

  • shortsshortsshorts

    You just can’t pee outside these days without some god damn secret service guy trying to take you out. Why are we focused on health care when this is happening?

  • Red Zeppelin

    Well, obviously Michelle don’t allow smoking in da house, and there’s gonna be some spliffs. And OE also.

  • I-man

    Crowley and Cambridge are lucky that they are not facing a civil suit for unlawful arrest. Even Fox News called it as such and when Fox News goes you now you’ve hit the shitstorm.

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=372533]DoctorCulturae[/re]: “Works every time”

    (“Oh, Billy D.”)

  • Norbert

    Crowley can ask to see Sotero’s birth certificate and Michael Steele can handle the catering.

  • DollarStorePregnancyTest

    According to district law, if they go inside Obama will be forced to present his birth certificate. At which point he will be immediately deported to the country of Africa.

  • TGY

    So, a professor, a cop, and the president break into the White House…

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    5 seconds till the first Conservatard wit makes comment via the internets in the form of a fried chicken and/or watermelon bon mot and/or cartoon. 4… 3… 2… 1…

  • Extemporanus

    They were going to meet at the playset, but Gates expressed concern that Crowley might then give him a South African necklace.

  • norbizness

    He should serve nothing but pork products.

  • I-man

    *know, That K clearly isn’t thinks Gates was being uppity.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    I wonder if Crowley’ll get drunk and act stupidly.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=372532]fishandvodka[/re]: HE SHOULD ASK TO SEE THE BIRTH CERTIFICAT!!1

  • Crank Tango

    today, we are all drinking forties on the white house lawn.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=372548]Norbert[/re]: You mean “Serento,” obvs.

  • TGY

    I like Hopey’s style. These people will get SO many positive vibes they’ll wish they’d never been born. MOO HA HA!

  • Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    I wonder how many olds are calling the police as we speak, reporting a black man breaking into their house through the picture box.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli
  • Noodle Salad

    Picnic table? Michael Steele will bring the potato salad.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I think the best part of the meeting at the White House is the end where Gates and Crowley will get together to sing “Ebony & Ivory.”

  • fishandvodka

    I am pretty sure it is illegal to have open containers on the white house lawn – I know it is illegal on the national mall. I just hope that there are concerned white neighbours near the white house who will notify the authorities.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=372582]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I’m looking forward to Obama’s cover of “Black or White” as well.

    Oh, sweet MJ, if only you had lived long enough to see this…

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=372571]TGY[/re]: I want to know what kind of photo op they have planned, if any.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=372587]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh, I’m looking forward to that too, especially for the part when Obama will hop on a bunch of cars and screech a few times while grabbing his crotch.

  • rocktonsammy

    Apparently the porch and a couple of 40’s ain’t good enough for the elitist.

    Stay thirsty my friends.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    Fuck the garde, or house or whatever. I wanna know what they’re drinking. I’m sure there’s plenty of Shinerbock left by the last tenants.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I agree with Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh: Just because one of them is President, we can’t let all them blacks get uppity.

  • Car Ramrod

    Maybe they can get drunk and play kickball with those other assholes. Also.

  • TGY

    [re=372588]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Probably a ‘cop bustin two guys’ pose just for laughs.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    It’ll be the same old drinking game: everybody has to take a sip every time someone says “pig” or “shine.” (It’s great to know at what level a Harvard-educated lawyer, a distinguished professor and a law enforcement professional decide to resolve their differences. Tell me Bella Abzug isn’t giggling in her grave at these testosterone-polluted males.) And why beer? Isn’t this a Mad Dog 20/20 Moment? They could serve it in paper bags emblazoned with the Presidential seal.

  • DangerousLiberal

    All I know is this: I am so glad that animated GIF is back. It’s been a long time. Poor little dude was having trouble finding work in post-racial America until this Media Confection brought him New Hope, also.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Garrett Morris will be there, too.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=372647]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Thank God for the stimulus package or else he would have wound up at some homeless shelter eating nothing but government ham and government cheese.

  • hobospacejunkie

    They’re gonna pose for a picture with Crowley hanging from a tree while Obama & Gates stand idly by, reproducing a lynching in reverse. Everyone will applaud Crowley’s good humor until they realize he ain’t movin’. Then no one will be able to find Gates & Obama.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    I stand corrected. Still, not exactly up to the humor standards I am looking for.

    Where is my sketch of Nobama and Henry Louis Gates Jr. as cannibals in grass skirts and giant lips dancing around on the White House lawn next to a boiling cauldron above which the white cop is suspended, dammnit?!

    You know this exists somewhere.

  • BigDupa

    Lou Dobbs just reported that they be blasting “Bad Boys” over the sounds system. At which point, Prof. Gates’ face will get blurry and his shirt will come off. What is the etiquette on the collar? Secret Service (host) or Sgt. Crowley (guest)?

  • PrairiePossum

    I can’t wait for the press photos to be released. I’m gonna make the most awesomest blingees that ever blingeed.

  • simetrias

    Um, wonder what they’re serving at that picnic to go with the beer and pinot noir?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=372708]simetrias[/re]: Everyone will be eating Jim Crow.

  • kdaddy

    1 beer each…things will be alittle awkward
    2 beers each…a couple of grins, and “hey where you from?”
    3 beers each…”I used to drink this shit all the time!”
    4 beers each…”Hey man, admit it, you were talkin shit!”
    5 beers each…”where are all the chicks?”
    6 beers each…”I bet I can jump over this table!”
    7 beers each…Fuck you asshole, I love you, man!”
    8 beers each…”let’s go downtown, I know a place.”
    problem solved.

  • OfCourseImRight

    It’s a Lose/Lose situation for the dutiful police officer, I fear.

    If I were Sgt. Crowley, I would be bringing the entire CPD Union and demand that the beer-fest be broadcast on TV (C-Span). I wouldn’t trust Gates/Obama privately in a room with a couple of malt liquors when the two “buddies-in-racism” are going to sit and tell him “he overreacted.”

    In fact, I wouldn’t allow Gates to drink at all as he’s already too belligerent without getting fired up on a 40.

    The most disturbing aspect of this whole situation is that Zero is meddling in civic affairs. Focus on larger issues, Zero. Ask yourself why your administration is siding with a dictator hopeful in Honduras.

  • OfCourseImRight


    In what way did the police officer act out of line? In what way did he show anything but absolute professionalism in his methods.

    Blind belief is dangerous. That’s an old Kenyan proverb from the country of birth of our Usurper-In-Chief.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    Oh, good Christ.. another one.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=372804]OfCourseImRight[/re]: Orly?

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=372816]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: No, grammar’s too good.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Gates will say, “You disrespected me because I’m black.” And Crowley will say, “You disrespected me because I’m a police officer.” Then Hopey will bring out his surprise secret weapon, Oprah, who will show them both that they have brand new Pontiacs under their seats, Hopey will give them the keys, and everyone will drive home happy (except Oprah, who will be DRIVEN home in a Bentley, but she’s fat again, so she’s not happy). Yea! clap, clap, yea!! The End.

  • sezme

    Little known fact: The little boy in your animated gif grew up to be Henry Louis Gates Jr. You can look it up.

  • problemwithcaring

    So the new Conservatard talking point is that Barry is showing reverse racism by offering an Irish cop a beer, propagating negative stereotypes about Irishmen and alcoholism?

    This may yet have some traction, as President Obama’s African half thinks very little of his Irish parts.

  • Koolaid

    [re=372954]problemwithcaring[/re]: hehe Obama’s irish parts…

  • desertwind

    Outside? In view of cameras?

    What if they start yellin’ again?

    Not not not. a. good idea.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    [re=372795]OfCourseImRight[/re]: “The most disturbing aspect of this whole situation is that Zero is meddling in civic affairs.” He’s president, he’s supposed to be meddling in civic affairs. That’s the whole point of why we elected him.

  • chascates

    Old English 800 for Crowley. Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA for the good people.

  • coulterite

    Crowley is an ass wipe for going to this political set up by the the two black racists (OBAMA AND GATES ) who will just taunt crowley some more with Gates yelling …”yo crowley…. yo mamma iz a cracker” ! then with Obama following up with …”Yo Crowley yo mamma is a ho !!! Then Crowley thinking he can arrest both of them for demeaning his mother gets cuffed by two Black Secret service agents ready willing and able to put the hammer to whitey Crowley !!! It’s a setup by Obama and his KISS ASS MEDIA ! Gates doesn’t even like beer….he likes what Fred Sanford drank on Sanford and son ….GOOD OLE RIPPLE WINE ! SOME TEACHABLE MOMENT ….WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP ! OBAMA JUST CAN’t KEEP HIS BIG EARS OUT OF LOCAL SITUATIONS. He’s gotta be the center of…… unattraction ! Oh, but obama is so smart …sooooo elegant , sooo cool. I wonder if Obama has a few ciggys with his beer on thursday, just to show he’s cool man ….he’s soooo cool …the cooolest prez ever !!!!! It’s VOMIT TIME !!!!

  • coulterite

    Crowley oughta bring a BUCKET OF KFC to the picnic table …NOW THAT WOULD BE SOOOOO COOL !!!!!!!

  • coulterite

    There is absolutely NOTHING this clown Obama can teach anyone in terms of living a good american life . Community organizer who did NOTHING in his crime ridden sections of CHICAGO. Did nothing in congress. Did not sponsor one valuable piece of Legislation. Mr O is O for ZERO ! THE MEDIA still l;oves this clown …people dying in Afghanistan , not a peep from the libs and thier media, 300 dead already from swine flu in this country …not a peep from libs and the media, Debt rising every day and unemployment risiong everyday in this country …not a peep from libas and their love sick obama media ….Oh , but he has date night with his HATE AMERICA MICHELLE once a week where the media drools and has orgasms over it . He travels and apologizes for ourr great country overseas BUT HE WON’T APOLOGIZE TO A COP WHO DID HIS JOB. Congressman don’t read proposed health care bills that will change one sixth of this economy but the libs and their media doesn’t care. OBAMA pool numbers are finally diving a la JIMMY CARTER. THis is LIBS can’t be trusted with the welfare and security of this nation . OBAMA < OBAMA OBAMA …NO WE WON’T AGAIN !!!!!!

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=373120]chascates[/re]: Fat Tire for Crowley, Talisker for Obama and Courvoisier for Gates. Handshakes at the end but Gates still goes home annoyed.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=373131]coulterite[/re]: Ain’t it past yer bedtime, honey?

  • Darkness

    >> dead already from swine flu in this country …not a peep from libs and the media,

    lols… is this before or after the right accused the media of over reacting to the epidemic/pandemic?

  • chascates

    [re=373150]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: That’s a pretty good lineup for beverages. Around my parts Coors in bottles is considered pretty fancy. For those times when you buy actual Planter’s brand mixed nuts.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    “That’s fancy.”
    Actually I’ve been drinking Coors light for too long and need to get the hell to bed..

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=373125]coulterite[/re]: Aww, it’s too bad you jumped the shark. I’m recommending you get banned. And I had so much hope for you as a socialist.

  • LoweredPeninsula

    [re=373126]coulterite[/re]: AHA! There it is, guys, the chicken reference not in jest.

    Anyway, Crowley should be giving a sigh of relief. Instead of the badge being sued off his overly-aggressive ass, he’s going to get to have beers on the White House lawn with a president of the United States! He should escalate contentious situations more often with minorities. He could rack up quie an impressive number of visits to this White-people’s House, which by the grace of Sarah Palin’s Jesus “Real Americans” have granted Mr. Obama to rent for four years. Hell, maybe even with each escalation he gets an even bigger prize. Maybe if he ends up finding a way to arrest Obama in the White House, he’ll be entertained by the Pope, even!

  • DoctorCulturae

    Read on internets Officer Crowley is in charge of assigning lucrative overtime tasks. (Sorry, no link.) Who wouldn’t support that?

Previous article
Next articleWonkette Joins Lou Dobbs & Michele Bachmann as Proponents of the Birther Conspiracy