Wonkette
Look, our old friend Josh Fruhlinger has written a thing for “legitimate publication” Newsweek! It is a close reading of a zit ad of some sort, maybe? Click the clicky, comment generously, buy everything advertised everywhere on the site, and maybe he will write more things about zits. At the very least, he may be able to buy his wife and cat back from the pawn shop. [The Human Condition]
RANGA!!!
Yay, Josh! Congratulations!
You pawned your cat? How much did you get?
Soon, we’ll have pharmaceuticals with cartoon labels. For more BIFF! BAM! and POW!
“Do not use irritating products while taking EpiDuo.”
Great, just great. What the fuck am I going to do with my Sham-wow!?
So is EpiDuo code for the three-way Tyler B ends up having in the tent?
Josh has totally sold out to support his disgraceful “eating” habit.
Congratulations, Josh!
My wife popped a zit I couldn’t reach on my back last night. We do this for each other from time to time, much like orangutans. Feel free to use this riveting human interest story in your next write-up about zits.
Also, I hit puberty more than 30 years ago. Will I stop getting zits soon? I’ll hang up & listen to your answer on the radio.
Will he be able to keep the zit cream Big Pharma gave him on the sly?
Adapalene-benzoyl peroxide (Epiduo) for acne.
WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS
Ultraviolet Light and Environmental Exposure: Avoid exposure to sunlight and sunlamps. Wear sunscreen when sun exposure cannot be avoided.
Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); blistering; crusting; excessive redness, peeling, or irritation; swelling.
Also removes old paint and varnish.
Based on the feedback from the link in Josh’s article, hormone crazed teens/tweens of either sex woul like up to give him a tongue bath and pop his zits by nibbling on them.
Whendid leaving aspacebetweenwords becomeoptional? I wasn’t sure if Josh or Kate was responsible for all the barebacking text, but reading that aticle with all of its random spacing made me want to snap Arnie’s head off with a mailbox door right there in the pharmacy aisle.
hobospacejunkie: My one great regret in my current relationship is that my man will not permit me to pop his pimples. He’ll even go so far as to pretend that something is NOT a pimple (”It’s a mole!”) to keep my angry fingers away from them. It makes me twitch, seeing a throbbing pustule form somewhere on his otherwise flawless brown shoulderblade.
Fuck. I need a drink now.
AnnieGetYourFun: Your man is a saint for putting up with you even mentioning the idea. Shudder.
Also, Josh? I love your writing. I think you are deeply talented. I think your wife is very pretty, and hope that you have an incredibly successful career, and I will do anything in my (albeit limited) power to promote all that you say/do until one day, you can make a really good living just snarking about stuff on the interwebz.
But please stop with the pouty lip photos. They enrage me on some subconcious level that I cannot explain.
natoslug: Times are tough in the journo biz when even Newsweek can’t afford spacebars.
Mmm, spacebars….
I so want Josh to parse the other pharmaceutical sonnets! The heart attack guy who thought it couldn’t happen to him. And Bob, of course, who is so successful in life now that he’s taking that pill that helps his schlong. And Yaz, which apparently had a previous commercial which may have confused us that they now need to clarify with the new commercial (a claim I just don’t believe).
Go Josh, tell them we want more!
freakishlystrong: No, that would be an EpiTrio.
earnestcivilservant: Agreed.
Great comedy bit. Onequestion though: what’swith allthe stucktogether words?Is ita playon “EpiDuo”, because itdoes getkind ofannoying.
AnnieGetYourFun: Omigod. What I wouldn’t give for just one night with a woman like you.
Lascauxcaveman: Get in line. EVERYONE wants a woman with big, round neuroses like these puppies.