Wonkette
ALEX PAREENE ON PALIN’S INSANE GOODBYE: “It’s like Peggy Noonan, Jack London, and William Faulkner wandered into the woods with three buttons of peyote and one typewriter, and only this speech emerged.” [Gawker]
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Oh oh, I’d read anything Peggy Poonanner wrote…on weed. Peyote buttons? Has Carlos Castaneda been consulted?
“It’s like Peggy Noonan, Jack London, and William Faulkner wandered into the woods with three buttons of peyote and one typewriter . . . “?
(Oh, man, talk about waving a red flag in front of a bull.)
“He huddled over the small mound of twigs, and struck his last match. The small wooden stick sparked, and sputtered, and almost went out. Then it flared to life, and the flame spread to the twigs and they started to burn. Even through the biting cold he could feel the life-giving warmth spreading through his fingers, through his sodden gloves. Here was life! Here was hope! Here was fire!
Then, with a soft sound, a massive mound of quasi-Baroque verbage fell from the branch above, completely smothering the tiny flame beneath comparisons of Ronald Reagan, Mexskins, and codine-laced cough syruph.
‘Absolute! Absolute!,” he said, echoing our Muslin Kenyan President as he took another pull from the vodka bottle that the Fair Peggyington passed over the cooling embers. ‘Now how the fuck are we going to light this joint?’”
[Okay, where do I pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature?]
I just like how she throws in the troops all the time, as if she was Eisenhower.
Of course, it is easy to forget how successful the Alaskan National Guard was in its evasion of British Columbia in her first year as Governor.
Speaking of Faulkner, she reminds me quite a bit of Benjy.
Can you imagine what a devastating charactature Faulkner would’ve done of a vicious idiot like Saracudda?
Why did she start talking about Cheech, Chong, and Sourdough?
Most great works of literature owe a debt of gratitude to alcohol and/or bipolar disorder. I know which one I’m voting for in Caribou Barbie’s case.
Excellent montage, almost equivalent to that in Eisenstein’s “Potempkin”. Yet, as I sip my vintage Mad Dog 20/20 and nibble on Ritz Crackers and Grow-Pup, I cannot accept Pareene’s use of the word, “gradual” and his omission of the influence of the wilderness poet Allen Ginsberg.
I saw the best images of me
Destroyed by Letterman
Etc.
That speech was conceived at C Street.
It’s like the love child of a Michele Bachmann, Dan Quayle and George Bush ménage à trois.
Manic, irremediably absurd and lasted 8 years.
Damn. I watched every single one of those videos. At the bottom Pareene asks for your favorite quote from her resignation speech — but damn, I’m not going to watch that thing again. It frightens me. And it was actually pretty coherent for Palin.
Well, not the part about not taking government largesse — I mean, the state gets $1.88 for every dollar their citizens pay in federal tax dollars.
And I’m not sure she’s getting stupider — but there is one thing that struck me. I’ll admit it’s just a wild guess, because I’m just subjectively interpreting her tone and making assumptions about her based on what an absolute loopy individual she is. But she strikes me as sincere, but holding something back. And as I watched that last video, I thought, ‘She’s telling the truth, but it’s not the whole truth.’
Now what could a pretty fundamentalist Christian like Sarah Palin be doing that would require her to a) retire from the world, and b) not publicize what she was doing? Does Spiritual Warfare come to mind?
She’s familiar with the term. There was a video a while back where she was being blessed in a church, and the preachers were exhorting her to prepare for spiritual warfare. It can be a very general term, but in some fundamentalist groups it’s very specific. I’m guessing some influential preacher in her life has convinced her that she’s not battling just political opponents, but also demonic ones. And that she needs to withdraw from the political world because it’s corrupt, and the more she gets sucked into battles there — even for a good cause — the more she becomes part of the corrupt world.
And what she really needs to be doing is spending her time doing talk shows, praying, fighting the demonic instruments of Satan, saving her family and her children, doing some speaking engagements, and tithing, tithing, tithing. Because spiritual warfare ain’t cheap.
Anyway, just a guess. But I do think history will show that next to Sarah Palin, Nancy Reagan is a secular humanist.
SayItWithWookies: Is she gay or something?
Smoke Filled Roommate: Depends on whether the minister who wants to bang her — I mean, conduct spiritual wafare with her — is male or female.
I was taught not to make fun of retards.
After listening to her farewell speech I now know how Joan of Arc felt.
(Not that Palin is Joan of Arc. I AM, just from having to listen to Palin.)
I’m sure Palin likes Jack London. Brits are cool.
Faulkner? I think she missed that class.
Noonanny? Your guess is as good as mine.
Peyote? Sarah’s like Dalí…she *is* drugs.
I have contact the Wasilla police and contact wonkette
Todd Mecklem: You sound sober. She’s jumped crosseyed and perhaps gay into Bristol Bay– get Megs on teh Twitter!
SayItWithWookies: Very interesting idea, Mr. Wookies. If true it makes sense, in that she is certainly dumb enough to really believe that fundamentalist bunkum.
However, paradoxically, it also may suppose that she is intelligent enough to know not to talk about it publicly because, as Tony Blair put it, it makes you sound like you’re crackers, demented. This further supposes a level of self-awareness with which I previously wouldn’t credit her.
Then again, she seems to have mastered the talking-in-code speechifying W (or his speech writers) used to bamboozle the fundies in 2000 & 2004. Also then again, people do exist who believe in magical fairy stories & yet sound more or less intelligent when their mouths open. Hmm…nice chewy cud you’ve given us.
SayItWithWookies: Also, it would be awesome if known spiritual crank Pastor Muthee became an anchor around her neck when she starts slipping and inadvertently tips off us non-fundies as to her true beliefs & intentions. Please let it be so.
SayItWithWookies: I actually had read Nancy Reagan wasn’t religious at all, except for astrology. Some of the Jesus Goblins tried to give Ronnie grief about it. She was also fine with abortion.
I’d love to see Sarah start a third party with heavily Christian Nationalist overtones. Lots of Rapture, survivalism, and really shitty music. I can see a whole cable channel of it.
Just glad I don’t have a TV.
“Let me tell you, Alaskans really need to stick together on this with new leadership in this area especially, encouraging new leadership… got to stiffen your spine to do what’s right for Alaska when the pressure mounts, because you’re going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood and here’s how they do it. They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes. Stand strong, and remind them patriots will protect our guaranteed, individual right to bear arms, and by the way, Hollywood needs to know, we eat, therefore we hunt.”
SayItWithWookies:
I agree.
I think she’s going to go full-out fundamental.
I believe that’s what she was implying when she said she couldn’t wait to start Twittering when she got out of office. We’ll be able to tell by how quickly she uses the word “awesome”….which is the biggest religious code word around.
Of course, she’ll sprinkle all that religion talk with lots of gun fear-mongering.
I don’t think she’ll have a huge impact on the voting public, but I do think she’ll stir up every crazy living alone, in a darkened basement somewhere. And our stupid, lazy media will be cheering her on as she whips her paranoid band of supporters into a frenzy. And then some really bad stuff will begin happening.
At least, that’s my view at 3:25am when I can’t sleep.
I’m sure it will all be fine in the morning.
Palin’s resignation speech was exactly what I’d expect — from a boxer who has just been clocked for the third time, and the ref is asking him questions like, “Who is the President?” and “What year is it?” The fighter hasn’t a clue, but he really doesn’t want to be counted out, so he just rambles and hopes the ref will buy it. Mooselini fell in love with the shoes from Barney’s and the strokes she got on the rubber chicken circuit. I honestly think she’s leaving government in an effort not to begin a campaign for President so much as to campaign for her own reality show — which, like “military intelligence,” is a euphemism.
…and I’d love to know which “delicate starlet” in particular she was talking about? Because this is classic mean girl stuff…Sarah has to be the prettiest girl, getting the most attention, in the room. Which “tiny, talented” Hollywood type set her off?
hockeymom: Ashley Judd
SayItWithWookies: I think you’ve got it, except from what I understand she *should* want to be in government. Possibly decided to pull a Krugman and do things from outside.
She and the various Xian connections are pretty well- (though disjointedly-) documented at talk2action.org including connections to C Street. I sometimes also think, in my more paranoid moments, that her references to the “troops” may be more specifically to the “Christian” ones which are “permeating” the military (again, see talk2action.org).
The birther stuff is also getting out-of-hand: see
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=104445
Suds McKenzie: I forgot about her. That makes sense…
America needs more Republicans like Sarah Palin.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: And, yes, I know, invasion. What do you want. It’s hot.
I’m sure she will occasionally pop up on TBN sitting on a gold throne but my co-workers who are her most ardent fans( she;s hawt! she speaks to me! she sold her plane on e-bay!!) all of them say she resigned to get more money. Simple as that
Anyone see Bill Shatner read a part of her speech on Conan, last night, as a spoken word poet? Fucking hilarious.
I’m hoping she does a Ross Perot and runs for president as a third party candidate. None of that traditional, old boys network, politics as usual primary stuff that takes the focus from her talking directly to the people, without the media twisting her words, abusing her family, disrespecting the troops, etc. That would be a gift from god, or gods, or magical fairy sprites. Split the republican votes, allow Obama to cruise through without breaking a sweat.
She never released her medical records, which might show what venereal diseases she’s contracted. Would show that she was pregnant when married.
Also, I remember rumors, maybe it was in the tabloids, about how Track more or less had to join the Army or face prosecution for being a bad boy. And now she’s so proud of the choice he made. Like he had a choice. Or maybe I dreamed that. I can’t imagine having that clown as a mother. Makes me thankful I had a midwestern, working class mom who never failed to remind me of all the opportunities I had (and pissed away, mostly) that she never had, because she had to work right out of high school. I never thought I was smarter than my parents. I think that would be a horrible thing to realize, when you’re 7-years-old.
LoweredPeninsula: I saw it. The only video in that whole segment worth watching. Absolute gold and brilliantly delivered.
“So, how ’bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin’ things up?”
This is my favorite line by far. No real word salad here, but the arrogance combined with the “what the fuck do these two things have to do with each other?” vibe really shows Palin at her best. Or worst. Splaying herself upon the cross as martyr to the media, and then, in a way only her strange ganglia could understand, turning it into a question of supporting volunteer soldiers fighting an unwinnable war on the other side of the world. I’m writing, but I’m not really saying anything, because this one just leaves me shaking my head, speechless. What could possibly justify such a bizarre sequence? This one defies analysis, like green eggs and ham. Utter nonsense, delivered in that sneering, over-confident way that really stupid people have of emphasizing something they are convinced is a brilliant exposition of their thoughts.
So yeah, my question about Sarah Palin: how did someone so obviously dumb, not to mention ignorant, become so super-confident, so sure of herself? She must’ve been indulged to a sickening degree by her father, who probably taught her how to step on everyone on her way to the top. To be supremely confident, yet also a complete & utter fool lacking self-awareness is quite an accomplishment.
Regardless, she’ll always be our Word Salad Queen.
Why can’t we just remember Sarah Palin as that American girl that was almost good looking enough to be Ukrainian who became governor of Alaska.
SayItWithWookies:
“Right flank! Watch the right flank! Thetans attacking from the right! *swish clang-clang* Hold ‘em off, Christians! Help me push back these Socialists! *swish-swish clang-clang* C’mon you dogs, ya wanna live forever?!”
hobospacejunkie:
Here’s how it’s possible:
http://tinyurl.com/962k8
it’s just a condition of incompetence. Dumb people don’t know the difference between dumb and not-dumb, and therefore confuse things that are dumb with things that are not… and become really overconfident and resentful of others who seem to think they know better (because they probably do)
Every time you criticize Sara Palin, an American soldier dies, and Jesus weeps. I’ll bet you people feel really good about that!
LoweredPeninsula: Here’s the linky: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCdqRbWYWbU
SayItWithWookies: I agree completely.
Palin is sincere. That sincerity infuses all her actions, including her obvious errors, but for her and those that like her it does not matter, they’re unimportant details. So what if she doesn’t read the WP or NYT or knows what the VP does. Her wingnut values are more deeply intricate and subtle than we libtards want to give her credit for, or will take the time to comprehend. It’s easy to poke fun at the voodoo and witchdoctors on the surface while missing the depth of what is really going on. We may call it wingnutty, but it could easily be noted as based on the personal experience of class, something we are loathe to talk about in Merica.
I also note a defiant, maternal, quasi-feminist tone to her recent speeches. She’s not just talking about her immediate family, but that Mother Earth has the final say. In spiritual terms this is heady, powerful stuff.
Also, Merican politics and culture loves to devour, but then worship a comeback kid. Some turn out to be martyrs like Elvis and Michael Jackson. We didn’t have Nixon to kick around anymore, right? As I recall an alliance between a certain VP Darth & Rummy was nurtured during that era. How did that work out?
Servo: I heard this morning that Travolta is thinking of giving up on Scientology.
SayItWithWookies:
Scary stuff Mr. Wookies but I hope you’re wrong. Personally, I think her main motivation is greed. She’s realized that she can make big bucks from all these bobble headed boobies (the persistent 23%) that think she’s god’s gift to the USA. Let the mass marketing begin!
finallyhappy:
Every good pilot knows when a crash is inevitable.
finallyhappy: Hey, you can’t just “quit” that shit!
Ahh, but the strawberries. . .. they laughed at me, made jokes about me, but who, who ate all the strawberries? The tiny Hollywood starlets? The media? Someone had more than their share of the strawberries, also.
Let’s be charitable and give her what she wants: complete anonymity and an overwhelming lack of interest in whatever she might be “thinking.” I wonder how long she could survive in the personal hell of life outside the reality-show fame she worked so hard to achieve.
I am curious, though, as to exactly what higher calling she will answer; a higher salary, but even lower standards, I suspect.
Too bad Hunter Thompson is gone, his one-on-one interview with her would be a gem. But thank you so much John McCain, for bringing this special lady onto the scene as your gift to American comedy writers.
What is the matter with this media person Pareene!??! Every time someone from the media criticizes Sarah Palin an American soldier dies! THINK OF THE TROOPS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
I’m starting to think the woman is actually developing mental issues from all the attention and scrutiny. Like, medical ones. .
You know that crazy cult out in Texas?
Wonder if Sarah Palin is going to take that over soon.
Would that be a good fit, or a bad fit?