Wonkette
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Oh this sucks, for comedy reasons: Republican Sen. Jim Bunning of Kentucky, one of the dumbest and crankiest baseball pitchers in Congress today, has announced that he will NOT SEEK re-election in 2010! No one will donate any money to his campaign since they all hate him, Jim Bunning, the incumbent Republican Senator from a very very red state. What does this mean for your Wonkette? We have lost a brilliant campaigner, forever. [TPM]
Yeah, but who will he ENDORSE?
N0bama claims another victim!
When will this sosialist muslin commie fashist tirreeny stop! Help us, Sarahcudda!!1!!
Bring on Rand(all) not (Ayn) Rand Paul.
Paultards, the Next Generation.
Well, now that he is a lame duck, shouldn’t he give a rambling speech (normal for Bunning), and then quit?
In April 2006, Time magazine called him one of “America’s Five Worst Senators”. The magazine dubbed him The Underperformer for his “lackluster performance”, saying he “shows little interest in policy unless it involves baseball”
Yep — the Republican party’s comeback in 2010 is pretty much unstoppable now. Bunning/Appalachian Trail 2012!
As a veteran of the historic Phillies Choke of 1964 (way before Wonkette and the double entendre were born), Bunning has trained for this losership.
The Republican Summer of ‘09 Quit-a-Thon continues. Bunning probably won’t even wait ’til 2010 to leave–now that Al Franken’s in the Senate, there’s someone even funnier than he is in the chamber.
We shouldn’t make fun of people’s names, I know, but Bunning sounds like some kind of disgusting and unnatural sex act. I just can’t figure out which.
Jim, there’s a word for it when Senators just come around sayin’ stupid stuff and just cold writin’ your jokes for you.
That word is SOCAILISM, and it’s not what Jim Bunning and real America stand for. Nosiree.
My exact reaction when I heard this was actually “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Out loud. At work. If the Son of Ron does not stay in this I really may cry. The comedic joy of this race was the only thing keeping me in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
Can we finally get a Wonkette endorsement for Jack Conway, based on smoking hotness alone? He isn’t particularly funny, but the man looks like a ken doll. Also.
Todd Mecklem: Not sure what Bunning is but it probably leads to pillow-staining Santorum.
When you’re senile and have to wear Oops! I Crapped My Pants on the Senate floor, it’s an indicator it’s time to retire.
Todd Mecklem: Bunning = frottage in a fursuit
Todd Mecklem: Bunning sounds like some kind of disgusting and unnatural sex act
Well, which is it? Disgusting or unnatural? It can’t be both.
OffTheRecord: As a former resident of the Commonwealth, I share your sadness in this development. I was so looking forward to this farce, I mean race.
And I endorse your suggestion of an endorsement of Mr. Conway. He sure is purty.
Jesus, can we even call it a Senate if we lose Stevens and Bunning in back-to-back cycles? World’s greatest deliberative body, my ass.
Holding Out for a Hero: OffTheRecord: Here’s what Representative Stan Lee had to say about yer purty Ken doll when he ran against him back in 2007:
“I am going to win this race because I have been an attorney for twenty years, which is also the same amount of time it would take little Jack Conway to grow a moustache.”
And Stan Lee knows a thing or two about moustaches.
Holy shit! Jack Conway is fine! He’s the hottest progressive since Scott Kleeb (o he of the tightly fitting jeans)!
I will miss Bunning’s slow descent into senility. Thank God the Senate isn’t short of decaying old men to laugh at.
Is the Phillies Choke anything like a Cleveland Steamer?
ManchuCandidate: I was thinking something more akin to CubScouts, or would WEBELOS be more appropos?
So, his own team sabotaged him, eh.
He has no alternative but to team up with the Palin Express and go after the basest of the base.
Soon, Wonkette won’t have any source material other than the Birfers..
Palin, now Bunning. These things happen in threes, you know.
Todd Mecklem: Neither, actually. It’s actually quite straight forward when you decode his name. The poor bastard never thoguht the base would think to switch ‘Jim’ and ‘Bun’ back the way they were. Soon, C Street will save him from teh gheyness.
“fundraising problems” = the new “pitcher is a catcher and got caught propositioning furry tops?”
Heeeengghhh?
Extemporanus: God, Stan Lee should run for senate. It the history of completely batshit Kentucky politicians he is near the top of the list, and that is an elite group of crazy.
And with his departure goes my favorite invented nickname for a U.S. Senator: Jim “Who Crapped in My Pants And Then Put My Pants Back On Me?” Bunning.
It’s just so he doesn’t have to answer painful questions about his country of origin. Which would be his mother’s country. Her giant steaming country.
Scandalabra: I believe ths Phillie’s Choke is more akin to the Donkey Punch. I could be wrong.
Please god, if Kenfucky can’t elect the Ken Doll let it be the next generation Paultard. Ol’ Daddy Paul could never become Senator Fucknutz but his son could be the source of endless hours of entertainment from a seat in that august body.
OzoneTom:
In order:
1. Walter Johnson
2. Randy Johnson
3. Roger Clemens
4. Fidel Castro (The batters were Batista officials. No helmets, no bats.)
I trust that I have made myself obscure.
Bunning’s just mad because he had the under on Justice Ginsberg’s remaining lifespan.
Oh, and Jim — remember when we thought the Obama administration was going to suck for comedy reasons? And see how it’s turned out to be a whole nother species of crazy instead? Do you think you need to worry about losing Bunning? As the philosopher Mr. Gibbs said when asked if there was something that would make the birthers go away: “No.” The crazy, like the poor, will be with us always. And overrepresented in politics.
Jim Bunning is just business as usual. Since he’s a Lame Duck he should resign and just work for the people which doesn’t take a title, thanks to our wonderful troops who guard us night and day.
After this senile, old loon essentially told auto workers to go fuck themselves and drop dead during the debate over the auto loans, Michigan wanted to lure this guy here just so as to be able to run his ass out on a rail.