Wonkette
President Cop-Killer announced yesterday, or today, or some time recently, that he will be making a few stops in Virginia and North Carolina this week to talk up health care with a carefully vetted ensemble of malaria-stricken blind quadriplegics and morbidly obese comatose pancreatic cancer patients, none of whom can afford all the gizmos and elixirs and magical goat’s blood that they need. Bad form, Nobama — don’t you know that the Raleigh area is the Northern Wake Republican Club’s territory, as marked by their piss? And, thanks to Wonkette operative “notsofreshfeelings,” we have obtained their protest strategy e-mail for Wednesday’s event. And you better believe that they’re cookin’ up some devastating slogans for their Obama-kryptonite signs.
Dear Fellow Americans,
As you may know our President is coming to Raleigh, NC this Wednesday. Let’s line the streets and send a PEACEFUL message to him. As American’s we are allowed to have a peaceful gathering of people, and we are allowed to have signs that tell the world how we feel. So, here is our opportuntity!
Location:
Obama town hall meeting at Broughton High School
723 Saint Mary’s Street, Raleigh, NC 27605Time: Doors Open at 9:30AM Event Starts at 11:45 AM
What do we want to do?
We would like Everyone to Create your own Sign voicing your concern on the Administration, Obama-Care, Spending, ect.
We want everyone to show up and help us put on a peaceful protest on these issues.
Lots of parking within a few blocks.
We need to find a Fife and Drummer some flag carriers (NC, US, and maybe the “Don’t Tread on Me” flag), and as many people as we can muster to waive signs with Anti Obama-Care Slogans as we can make.
If you are or know anyone that plays a Fife or Drum please let us know! We would like people dressed up as Colonials.
We will need to reach out to as many groups as possible with this one. It isn’t a WAKEGOP thing. It is about being an American and protecting our America. It is an Anti - BIG Government thing.
Please Forward this to your Friends!
Please Bring your Signs and Water!
We should show up starting at 9:30 AM
You can park at Cameron village by Rite Aid
There are two key areas we need people to be staged:
The Corner of Smallwood Drive and Cameron Street (this leads to the GYM area)
The second area is on St Marys St next to the school.
I would avoid School Grounds the Security should be tight.
When in doubt avoid trouble.
Please follow all of the Security rules.
Bring Water
Last have fun, and bring your Kids![SOME GUY]
Wake County Republican Party
xxxxxxxx@wakegop.orgSample Sign Ideas
Sample Pictures of signs (click)
No New Taxes!
Say No to Obama!
We don’t need Big Government!
Government is ALREADY TOO big.
America the Great, not the Broke!
Enough with the Pork!
It’s all about Jobs, Not Special interests!
Obama-Care is not for US
Sell your stuff somewhere else!
Obama-Care…What about fixing Medi-Care?
Who “acted stupidly” NOW?
Where is your Telepromter?
No more Spending!
What Ever Happened To Personal Responability?
Darwin would have been a Republican!
I spent my stimulus Check on this sign just for you President Obama.
Don’t Tread on me.
Stop listening to ACORN and the UNIONS and Listen to Regular Americans.
When you leave can you take our school board and our mayor?
When You leave can you take Gov Purdue She will fit in well with your other friends.
“Darwin would have been a Republican.”
That’s all.
Jesus hates Socialized Healthcare
Jesus, stop making me feel sorry for these losers.
Fife and drum players are as rare as lib’rals in the North Crackalacky.
Bad form, Nobama — don’t you know that the Raleigh area is the Northern Wake Republican Club’s territory, as marked by their piss?
Oh, THAT’S why they need so much water.
I play the fife, should I go? I can misspell signs also.
Bring your own dictionary and grammar/capitalization guidelines, coz these people sure don’t have any.
maybe they can wear costumes to go with their fife and drums… British Grenadiers? Klingons? Wookies?
I know quite a few Wall Street types who still have jobs. Also hedge fund managers who managed to keep doing ok despite.. None of them oppose “ObamaCare”. It’s not going to affect their lives very much and they have better things to do. Like making obscene amounts of money. It seems to me that most of the “grassroots” opposition comes from people who would actually benefit. This makes my head hurt.
Sample Sign Ideas:
Show Us Malia’s Birth Certificate.
Don’t Look at Our White Women.
Better Dead Than Socialized Medicine.
Apologize for Everything.
Where’s Mark Sanford?
What Ever Happened To Personal Responability?
Is “Responability” what poor people call their kidneys?
Obama-Care…What about fixing Medi-Care?
Obviously this is a fake. Viva el SOCIALISMO!
Darwin who we hate and is burning in hell would have been a Republican.
[/fixed]
I used to say “I would gladly support programs that benefited the people I dislike the most, if they needed it.”
Now I want to replace “support programs that benefit” with “set on fire and throw in a river.”
Wingnut talking points are getting so dense lately, I need an English-to-Crazy Dictionary. I mean, I get the classic “Where is your teleprompter?” but can anyone explain “Darwin would have been a Republican”? I thought they really weren’t that into him.
Can we stop with this co-oping revolutionary war-era slogans and sexy colonial cosplay?
Outside for hours in the afternoon in Raleigh in late July dressed as colonials is a great recipe for heat stroke. It would be grimly funny if stricken protesters needed medical treatment but couldn’t afford it.
Bring your children?
Why am I thinking of a scene from Chinatown right now?
I want the guy on that big poster in the background looking down on me during cybersex. Mrawr!
As American’s we are allowed to have a peaceful gathering of people, and we are allowed to have signs that tell the world how we feel.
Undermedicated?
you can’t Stop Us from random Capitalization!
“Mr. Obama keep your socialized medicine away from my gangrenous left foot!”
I should go by there since it’s not far with my own sign: “He Won NC, Assholes. Suck it”.
Yes, lets all meet on “Smallwood Dr.”.
Even their signs have random ALL-CAPS WORDS.
What Ever Happened To Personal Responability?
I will pay someone $50 to make that sign and get a photo of him or her holding it up at this tardfest.
“Stop listening to ACORN and the UNIONS and Listen to Regular Americans.”
FUCK YOU. Union members are the real Americans.
Live better. Work Union.
On a positive note, they actually refer to St. Muslin as “our president,” which is refreshingly courteous. On the other hand–what’s the deal with all the capitalization of random nouns? Was this written by Kaiser Wilhelm?
S.Luggo:
Your signs have too much appropriate punctuation and lack random capitalization. In many cases, they are also short and pithy enough to fit on actual signboards. Please try again.
Sincerely,
the Northern waKe Republi!can Club’
Want. To. Copyedit. EVERYTHING.
“I spent my stimulus Check on this sign just for you President Obama.”
Wow, guys. These people bought signs a year before the man took office, all in preparation for this day. These people are smarter than we give them credit.
Bastards. I carry a “Sell your stuff somewhere else!” sign wherever I go. I guess I’ll have to stop now.
Tra: Wait, why would they ask the best off-the-cuff orator in decades about his teleprompter whereabouts? Wouldn’t “Guud talkin’ ain’t amountin’ to a hill of beanz!” be more contextual?
Tra:
One folk, One party, One leader.
twowheeljunkie: Ten bucks says some tard mangles that sign into “Stop Listening to UNICORNS and Listen to Regular Americans”…
edgydrifter: Staying true to the colonial theme?
problemwithcaring: Wrong use of the plural. The poors only have one kidney left, having sold the other one in New Jersey for ten grand.
Canmon (the Inadequate): WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?!?!!!!5!34!!!
CrunchyKnee: But isn’t that where Barney and his clan are from?
If you don’t “waive” your sign, you “wave” your rights.
Tra: What they mean is those finches didn’t need no fucking health care. And the big turtles on that island? They didn’t have no socialism.
I think they mean something like that.
Will Dr. Dentist Oily Titz be there?
Welcome to WhiteTrashastan
Actually Obama’s problem is his adopted pet, Iraqistan. Maybe he should get that monkey off his back.
Dress like the colonists, right. This is because they were such experts on public health?
On the other hand, the neo-colonists may have a point. From an originalist point of view, health care should be considered unconstitutional because the founding fathers didn’t have it. If it can’t be cured with some leaches or a tonic made out of herbs and liquor then I say its unconstitutional for the government to pay for it. Maybe we could just have some government clinics that specialize in dropsy, smallpox, and whooping cough; for everything else your on your own.
problemwithcaring: Laughs on them because they spent the money on the signs so the person they bought it from made some money and the people who make signs made some money so they actually did what the stimulus check was meant for, thus proving the stimulus checks worked.
RoscoePColtraine: Or “Darwin was a Republican. Not that we believe in anything he says, of course”
“Enough with the Pork!” is taken; it’s the trademarked slogan of the Kosher Chinese Resataurant Owners’ Association of America. Gevalt.
Voyou Charmant: Set on fire and throw in a river? That’s a bit counter-productive don’t you think. Now, with ’set on fire and throw in a barrel of gasoline’ you’ve got some real potential.
derridada: (Wisely) Oh, it’s all the teleprompter. Secret teleprompters. Hidden teleprompters. (Taps head knowingly) Implants. You just think you’re seeing one of the most eloquent speakers of our time, but it’s all done with screens in his contact lenses and tiny microphones in his fillings.
Yeah, I know the sheeple act confused, like my sign makes no sense to them at all, but they’re just pretending. Soon we will rise up and overthrow this telepromptorial reign.
>>Obama-Care…What about fixing Medi-Care?
BREAKING: NC GOP SUPPORTS MEDICARE
Dress like colonists and play a drum or fife? Is it time for a tea baggin’ reunion already?
Note from the Rite Aid manager:
Parking is provided for our customers only.
WIld Turkey: Amen. Forget the fife and drum. What they really need is some colonialist doctors who can perform trepanation as an AnTI-biG GOVermiNt form of cure-all.
iwillsavethispatient: Oh, you’re a funny one.
Voyou Charmant: But then the flames would be extinguished. Let ‘em burn, baby.
Responability!
hahahahaha.
S.Luggo:
Now you’re pulling out clever historical references. Clearly, you are just not even trying.
Sincerely,
tha North Urn waek republican Club~
“We would like Everyone to Create your own Sign voicing your concern on the Administration, Obama-Care, Spending, ect.”
Who wrote this pre-middle school grammar teacher’s nightmare, anyway? Sarah Palin?
This is our opportunity. These people will be in one place. Now we can mow the bastards down. Peacefully.
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas: Oh, betcha no one in that group makes under $60,000.
“We would like Everyone to Create your own Sign voicing your concern on the Administration, Obama-Care, Spending, ect.”
How about, “Say NO to healthcare. Say YES to healthprayer.” Or “Jesus is my doctor”
germansteel: Well, I for one have lots of concerns about ect.
chascates: Since they will be only using three parking spots, the folks at Cameron Village are wiling to make an exception.
PrairiePossum: How about “I fly to Kenya to get my healthcare”
Smoke Filled Roommate: They may take our random Capitalization, but they’ll never take our FREEDOM!!!!1!
Native of SL UT: With Soma vapour, or glue-traps? I say we use both…
Tra: But the capitalization wrong.
Another try:
Eye squeal like a pig.
Living Space for Germans!
I’m with Stoopid.
PrairiePossum: “Jesus is my doctor” .. and Judas is my HMO.
God, I am so ashamed to be from that county. I also know of at least three people who got this email and have been calling a friend of mine’s costume shop for colonial costumes.
And people ask why on earth I would move away from NC. *shakes head*
“Now you Know why its called the White house.”
“When you leave can you take Jeff Gordon he will fit in well with your other Friends.”
“Barney Fife would have been a Republican”
Perhaps they will note the irony of protesters being allowed within a few city blocks of President Obama, as opposed to being confined to a 1 meter square one town over when W visited. Perhaps not.
The telepromter is finding its “P”?
They have a drummer, they just need a fife(r).
Why do they think dressing as colonials gives automatic legitamacy? Did the Founders dress as barons (from the era of the Magna Carta) at their protests to add legitimacy? I think that they had the balls to just wear their normal clothes and let their ideas do the talking.
Native of SL UT:
Or, “To hell with passin’ healthcare reform. Pass me the pork rinds and cigarettes.”
Carthago delenda est!
Say Nope to Dope!
Remember The Maine!
Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Ron Paul!
Tra: Darwin did marry a cousin, right?
Is there a drought in Raleigh?
S.Luggo:
Much Better! But More teleprompter!!!!!111111!!!!!
Yours’ trueley,
The Republican Wake NORTHER Clubn?
Tra: ““Darwin would have been a Republican”
Yeah. I think that’s the one that has us all confused. According to the wingers around here, the world is 10,000 years old. BTW–Jehovah’s Witnesses suck. Just needed to say that again. I paused for a second, lest I offend anyone and then realized, fuck that–this is wonkette.
That’s some devastatin’ signage there. ‘To whom?’ is the obvious question.
Skwerl Nutz: I noticed no one is being asked to bring a porta-potty.
They certainly emphasize the peaceful part. Are even the wingers afraid they’ve stirred up the violent edge of the fringe where they live? I picketed OSU when Jr. Bush spoke there, but no one had to keep reminding us to be peaceful. Wingers are scary, scary people.
Oldskool: ” “He Won NC, Assholes. Suck it”. ”
On behalf of the wonkeratti, I hereby dare ya’. Double dare ya’. Take some pictures for us!
RE: the WakeGOPers, let me put it this way: I moved from CA to NC as a socially moderate registered Republican in ‘96. Thirteen years of dealing with NC Republicans later, I’ve long since changed my party affiliation. Thankfully, this part of the Old North State is a nice shade of Blue these days–and the wingnuts are a rapidly-shrinking minority.
twowheeljunkie: Amen. Amen, Amen. You read my thoughts exactly. What do igits have against unions?
hobospacejunkie: They were not confined one town over when W came to town, they were in the front row. They think that as ‘reel ‘mericans’ (TM) they should always be in the front row, and commie muslins (aka the uppity youth, women, gays & coloreds) should be one town, state or country over, at all times.
Obama-Care…What about fixing Medi-Care?
Do what? “Don’t give free health care to the middle aged! You need those monies to fix *MY* health care for my old, only-six-months-to-live ass”
Get bent, Grandpa. Go find an ice floe to sit on.
The typos, as well as the grammar and spelling mistakes should be forgiven. When Repubtards type things, they choose to put the letters and punctuation and spacing in whatever combination and place they want to, because they don’t want Big Government and Nobama to tell them how to write them fancy letters the way we do in Fake America made of plastic, godless heathens, and gay marriage. DON’T TREAD ON ME, Strunk and White! Besides, wouldn’t an Obama protest technically be a Probama-test?
S.Luggo: Pithy slogan. needs more rendom Caps.
picadillythirds: God, I am so ashamed to be from that county. …
well, in general, the Triangle is pretty good.
“If you are or know anyone that plays a Fife or Drum please let us know! We would like people dressed up as Colonials.”
The Onion wrote this, right? RIGHT?
First Gov. Palin aborts Alaska, and now this….
DustBowlBlues: I love my union. I have heathcare that is almost as good as that of the average Italian or Spaniard (much better than most US Amurricans)because of my union. And I can sometimes tell my boss to fuck himself , as long as I’m polite and unthreatening about it. Being in a union is a beautiful thing.
I thought the new rule was to create a “free speech” zone some 1700 miles from the actual event. Isn’t that what was established during the Bush Administration? They’re going to need a huge font….
Shouldn’t they at least be able to spell the governess’ name? Also.
NotSleeping: …I’ve long since changed my party affiliation…
The Southern Strategy had a fairly quick payoff and will have a fairly long term toxic aftereffect. That doesn’t mean it won’t be hell to live through if you aren’t a winger, but it helps. some.
It’s Perdue, not Purdue. Like the chicken. And the random capitals are from the German, Teutonic language, the mother tongue of the Republican party.
“Republicans for Choice”? That’s the way to get back in the game . . . .
PsycGirl: Outside for hours in the afternoon in Raleigh in late July dressed as colonials is a great recipe for heat stroke.
And more importantly, wouldn’t it make you look like you were from the Union? I mean, the Union that really matters in the Carolinas?
Sarah Palin can be Barney Fife with a drum.
Tra:
Joe the Plumber is slackin’ these days.
I don’t know if Darwin would have been a Republican, but I am pretty sure that if he ever saw these unevolved types, he might scrap his whole “survival of the fittest” deal.
Shorter versions:
“I would avoid School Grounds the Security should be tight.” = Try not to get caught w/ your firearms.
“dressed as colonials” = dressed as slave owners
All that “peaceful” business in the preamble is window dressing & shouldn’t fool anyone, especially law enforcement types, for a Noo Yawk Minit.
Darwin would have been a Republican!
Damn, I thought Jim just threw that in at the end, I didn’t realize it was actually a suggestion.
That makes no sense whatsoever. I mean really, what the hell is that supposed to convey?
LittlePig: I think they confuse Darwinism with Social Darwinism.
“Darwin would have been a Republican!”
You mean he was a knuckle-dragging, gap-toothed, beady-eyed, fat slob with Stars and Bars flying from his 1983 pick up truck, 17 years of unpaid child support, and three DWI’s in the last 4 years, a Bible on his Wal-Mart bought coffee table and no screen on his front door to a foreclosed-on mobile home in a Southern rat-hole town that won’t blow away only because of its dependency on federal bail out money?
Who knew?
Union wages and benefits vs.”right to work”North Carolina; no brainer for Darwin he is wearing the union label.Don’t tarheels smell and leave ground in stains when they tread?
I believe in sticking with what works- the traditional way “Half-Breed Muslin”
Darkness: …I mean, the Union that really matters in the Carolinas?
Don’t forget that they fought a war against the Union.
Tra: Aaaah, thank you wise one. I will thencely and thusly file “teleprompter-head” alongside “superior fast twitch muscle fibers” in my list of associations and assumptions, lovingly known as my “ASS.”
Hmm. Remind me that when I’m sipping frozen Hurricanes in Emerald Isle on Wednesday, I should drink an extra one for the idiots in sweltering wool rental costumes marching around back in Raleigh. Or perhaps to celebrate their epic failure, it should be Blue Hawaiians.
Lou Dobbs just said our President must be the “primary pupil” in this teachable moment. Our President is not a primary pupil, or any other kind of pupil. He might be a student (which is what a pupil becomes when he grows up), but he’s not a pupil. Acceptable descriptions of our President include student, teacher, wise man, learned scholar, and/or rabbi, but not pupil.
To clarify, i’m not trying to kill them with fire, I just want to ruin their day.
They would be all “NOBAMA CARE, KEEP THE CHANGE, COMMIE!” And then “OH GOD I’M ON FIRE, FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” and then *SPLASH* “FUCK I SMELL LIKE A STINK RIVER AND I’M ALL WET! THIS DAY SUCKS”
Bam, day ruined.
And yes, they talk in all caps.
LittlePig: Seriously, my question exactly. Darwin was a Republican, so he would completely refuse to believe the evidence of evolution that was right in front of his eyes which would therefore mean that the theory of evolution would never have been created, which would please Republicans, including Darwin, presumably…
I think trying to understand the stupid may be making me stupid…
“Please Bring your Signs and Water!”
Somebody please honor Twain by showing up with this sign:
“Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big
enough majority in any town?”
Skwerl Nutz: Only of 8th graduates.
Skwerl Nutz: One more time:
Only of graduates who gone beyond Laura Dean’s home-ec. class and shop in 8th
grade.
Fixed.
Mad Farmer Manifest: If I wanted to see a bunch of old white guys dressed up as fantasy characters I’d go to ComiCon!
Cosplay FAIL!
“Obama! Are you a
Muslin or a Moran?”
“Working Poor!
Go quietly tothe earth
“Working Poor! Go quietly
To the earth, like dung!”
“Obama! Are you
If you are or know anyone that plays a Fife or Drum please let us know! We would like people dressed up as Colonials.
Is this possibly some gay code?
Sorry all. I take Personal Responability for the above errors.
ALREADY TOO forever!
MilwaukeeKent:
Additional sample slogans for placards at the NC rally:
- Bread or blood.
- A categorical imperative would be one which represented an action as objectively necessary in itself, without reference to any other purpose.
- PAPOON for PRESIDENT!
- A class of laborers who live only so long as they find work, and who find work only so long as their labor increase capital. These laborers, who must sell themselves piecemeal, are a commodity, like every other article of commerce, and are consequently exposed to all the vicissitudes of competition, to all the fluctuations of the market.
- Too sexy for my arrest warrant.
- Buy my kids.
- No meth, no freedom.
- More cheese.
We need to find a Fife, a Drummer, and a couple of Fluffers.
PsycGirl: Everything is gay code for conservatives. These gatherings being pushed as “protests” are nothing more than a front for orgies.
NotSleeping: Having lived through Jesse Helms and Charlotte Mayor Pat McCrory, I can honestly say that having to give a portion of my liver to the Little Falls, NJ Town Council as a token of good faith to establish family residency was well worth the stomach scars.
I just know I’m going to regret posting this, but please note that not everyone in North Carolina is as “edumacated” as the Wake Get-Obama-Party leadership. Some of us actually can usually spell and are even cautious with our capitalization.
Obama won by a narrow margin here in NC, and as a lifelong centrist (i.e. unwilling to have the kind of blind confidence as my oh-so-certain conservative brethren) I’m grateful that we have finally shown that we can sometimes vote like human beings.
I would hope that plenty of my fellow not-wacky citizens of Raleigh show up as well, perhaps dressed in seasonally appropriate garb. Even sporting mildly positive or at least literate signage would be appropriate. It would be nice if the Whitehouse advance team didn’t write off NC after this experience.
Oh dear god. With how many colleges and universities in Raleigh alone (there are what… 5 or 6, if you count Meredith and Peace?), not to mention Duke and UNC both merely 30 minutes away, I’m amazed at this grammar. *sigh*
Oh well. Maybe it will be like the teabagging party here, on the NC coast, on the 4th of July - a random man in a colonial costume, a few others with signs and flags (I doubt there were over 75 people there, despite “estimates” from organizers), and a bunch of people in their cars at the stop lights arguing with them. Amusing, but hardly overwhelming. (And for the record - standing outside in any outfit in NC in July is a good recipe for heat stroke. A few people in shorts and t-shirts were looking a bit red in the face then. A colonial costume isn’t a recipe for heat stroke, it’s a guarantee.)
I’ve found the best sign ideas at http://www.radright.com/teeshirts/tax_day_tea_party_rally_pictures.html
They even have made some of the good ones into t-shirts!
The protest was a BIG success! According to the Washington Post, SIX (6) people showed up! People, run for your lives! These six protestors are going to derail everything President Obama is doing to help our country! How can he ever overcome such well-organized and forceful opposition? What’s next, SEVEN protestors?