pompey is rolling in his grave

New (Alleged) Berlusconi Sex Tape Released!

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Your G8 host, everyone!Comical Italian hump-monster Silvio Berlusconi is always getting into scrapes — sexual scrapes, that is! The latest involves an audio tape, released to an Italian newspaper, purporting to be the prime minister and a 42-year-old escort talking about sex things, such as masturbation, immediately after they had sex together. She taped the whole thing with her cell phone, the naughty minx! Italian speakers, enjoy. [The Guardian, L’espresso]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for Orange Dots. And just before Lunch. I can feel queasy but still eat.

    “I valori di famiglia italiani disegnano!!!”

  • Cape Clod

    Stop showing that picture!

  • ZOO

    This Silvio movie is better than (500) Days of Summer, and it has less obnoxious advertisements.

  • Woodwards Friend

    Why don’t these communist sex fiends speak English? This is not my America! Show us your birth certificate Silvio Berlusconi.

  • Clamps

    Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this…

  • snideinplainsight

    Nutty with toffee overtones and floral notes. A hint of acidity on the front end, but a smooth, velvety finish.

  • magic titty

    Is it a coincidence that Rick James just came on my Ipod?

  • Scrodd

    Thank Jebus for lens flare that shows up as large red dots. Uncut weeners creep me out – reminds me of green beans.

  • Hawaiiexpat

    1. Go to the cafe to bring back lunch at desk.

    2. Roll onto the intertubes for some lunch time reading/entertainment.

    3. BIG FAIL editors at Wonkette keep publishing that stupid picture.

    4. :vomits a little in mouth, throws turkey sandwich into trash:

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    “You ought to touch yourself with a certain frequency.”


  • Monsieur Grumpe

    My red dot is bigger.

  • SayItWithWookies

    He may be a disgusting, philandering autocratic boob — but he’s their disgusting, philandering autocratic boob. So I’m going to enjoy this parade of sex tapes and testimony about parties with twenty chicks at a time all getting a thousand Euros to have dinner with Berlusconi without the slightest sense of mortification.
    Also, corruption and bribery (’cause let’s face it — the girls were bribes) are to Italian government what rust is to a ’73 AMC Pacer. You can’t get rid of it, because it’s the only thing holding the piece of crap together.

  • freakishlystrong

    That’sa spicy’a Serento!

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    Just as the world is trying to move beyond cultural stereotypes, Berlusconi reminds us that he’s old school and will embody any of the worst anti-Italian sentiment he likes. Next up: Berlusconi sends a dead fish to the hooker.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    That’s some nasty inflammation.

  • Don Juanquete

    I looked for the original on Google, but it was so small it was barely visible. Doesn’t look like he stands a chance, or chances a stand, in the upcoming erection.

  • user-of-owls

    Everytime we Americans get depressed by the realization that vast swathes of our elected officialdom are populated by venal crooks and perverts, we should simply tweak Arkansas’ state motto (“Thank God for Mississippi”). Grazie a Dio per l’Italia!

    There, now don’t you feel a little better?

  • donner_froh

    Shows that if a prostitute takes care of herself she can still be in the multi-diamond category well into her 40s–1,000 Euros for showing up, another thousand for staying the night.

  • Buzz Feedback

    One more reason to hate AC Milan.

  • 102415

    Since every pleasure’s got an edge of pain
    Pay for your ticket and don’t complain

    I love that picture. Keep putting it up. Some of you want to fuck Palin I want to fuck Silvio with my cell phone.

  • One Yield Regular

    What the hell’s happened to John Baldessari in his old age? One day he’s borrowing fabulous images from “Maria Candelaria,” the next he’s playing around with nekkid pictures of Silvio Berlusconi.

  • Gopherit

    It’s good to be the king….or the prime minister.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Silvio, you geranimal! Talking the sexy talk after the sexy time, at your age? Che admirabili (?) I’m one and done and my wife’s lucky if I can stay awake to cuddle. But then who knows what drugs this plastic surgery addict has coursing through his veins to assist with male enhancement. Forza Italia Coppa Mundial 2010!

  • Tommmcatt

    Is that him? I mean, gross and all, but you have to admit he’s the Sandor Earl of 72-year-old Cryptofacist European leaders.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=370038]ZOO[/re]: Hang in there, Zoo(ey). One day of summer down, only 499 to go.

  • horned_viper

    Barry is so much hotter. That is all.

  • Zorg

    As the Baron Ricky de Portanova used to tell his friends (cool guys like Hank Kissinger and Charlie Wilson), the best things in life are “sun, sex and spaghetti.” Bravo, Silvio!

  • paolaccio

    [re=370047]magic titty[/re]: wipe it off! 70’s funk star spoo will void the warranty…

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Hmmm… my Italian is a little rusty, but I listened to that whole thing and it was all talk about the world economic situation, something about negotiating a prickly disagreement with a director of the Bank of Italy, and something else about how a certain once-glorious patisserie in Milano had really gone downhill in the last couple years.

    It just sounded like sexy talk, because it was in Italian, of course.

  • Extemporanus

    For the sake of accuracy, I would like to point out that the dot-crotched codger is not Silvio “Saliva Wine” Berlusconi, but in fact former Czech prime minister Mirek Topolank.

    Please adjust your snark accordingly.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=370047]magic titty[/re]: Yes.

    Is it a coincidence that I just came on my iPod?


  • 102415

    [re=370127]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh, never mind then. I don’t want any *former* anything I’ve had enough of that.

  • finallyhappy

    Is he planning a run for the US senate or a governorship? Is Mark Sanford actually in Europe to meet with him?

  • qaf

    [re=370047]magic titty[/re]: No, it’s a miracle, Rick James has been dead for years.

  • proudgrampa

    That is one hell of a venereal wart.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    This is obvs. the same person in the beloved FrontButtGut/Panniculus picture. Only without the crying furries or distraught Oompa-Loompas.

  • Koolaid

    so whenever i see a dick that is that small (as in the ‘uncensored’ version of pic), I wonder how something so small can force sex drive to rule someone’s brain. Its seems the rule of disproportionate power should be enforced or something. Small-dicked guys will really do pretty much anything just to get that small little thing rubbed out? Doesn’t make sense. Maybe this is off topic. sorry.

  • El Pinche

    Will there be 80s pornish wah-wah music? Mmmmmmm. wrinkled & leathery sex.

  • J05H

    That which has been seen can not be unseen, also.

  • Mull_Man

    [re=370042]Clamps[/re]: Silvio has another fwiend in Rome…

  • Don Juanquete

    Could be worse. Could be Walnuts.

  • LoweredPeninsula

    My god, I vomit in my mouth, a little, every time I see that pic. How does this troll pull so much tail? Berni is such a gross-looking little man. Hell, yeah, I’m jealous.

  • Texmandie

    [re=370635]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: Because along with being the prime minister of Italy, he is also one of the richest men – at one point, was the richest, but now has to settle for being in the top five or so, due to owning half the television networks there. If you need to shed about 10-15 pounds in the next few weeks, just imagine Reagan and Murdoch, all rolled into one.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=370127]Extemporanus[/re]: Please accept my humble apologies—I stand erected.

    In my defense, why do European foreign leaders always cop the same cock-crouch when being snapped by telephoto-wielding paparazzi? Furthermore, why is pointy-peen Topolanek’s face blurred, while turtle-tipped Berlusconi’s face is not? Finally, why am I issuing an erection at such an ungodly hour?!

    So many questions…

  • Anita Cocktail

    [re=370126]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Huh, “going downhill”? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

  • Harold_Ignoramis

    “Sex Scrape”? Isn’t that slang for an abortion?

  • ladymacbeth

    i will simply die from boredom if silvio leaves the international stage.

    simply die.

  • Mrslulu

    I honestly thought that was Joe Biden….