Wonkette
Hey YOU GUYS why is this day different from all other days? Because it is the very last weekday in the history of Man in which Sarah Palin will serve the great state of Alaska as its mascot. On Saturday she will rest. And on Sunday she will turn over the reins of power to somebody who won’t be harassed to death by frivolous libtards.
Remember last summer, when John McCain said he picked her as his running mate because she was the most popular governor in America and so awesome at everything? She was popular because she handed out socialist oil-state welfare checks to every citizen, but now there’s no money to pay off a citizenry composed entirely of retired drunks and crazed Vietnam war vets. So now everybody hates her, too bad!
Overall, the new poll found that 53 percent of Americans view Palin negatively and 40 percent see her in positive terms, her lowest level in Post-ABC polling since she first appeared on the national stage last summer as Sen. John McCain’s running mate.
Today also marks the beginning of the picnic that will culminate on Sunday in the ritual sacrifice of her career.
It’s an annual tradition for Alaska governors and includes free food, live entertainment, games and activities for children and “much more,” according to a press release from Palin’s office.
“Much more” is just Inuit for “free live sex show,” presumably.
Palin Favorability Rating Dips As She Nears Exit, Poll Finds [Washington Post]
Palin’s picnics begin today [Anchorage Daily News]
In honor of this, I’m taking the rest of the day off.
All the main courses will be marinated in lipstick.
Isn’t free food and entertainment and stuff for the kids a wee bit Socialist?
No wonder my meth dealer is dry today.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, buh-bye…
I bought “Palin’s Picnics” on the PPV at the Anchorage Super-8 last week.
I stopped watching 8 minutes in.
Don’t judge me.
I think she’s actually resigning to pursue the much more graftalicious potential within New Jersey Politics.
Sure, the timing of those 44 Federal arrests is just a *coincidence.*
What’s next, hunting kidney donors from helicopters?
jodyleek:
The Alaskan government is redistributing fun and happiness, and “spreading the mirth”. I’m sick and tired of Palin’s socialism. Where’s her birth certificate, anyways?
I cannot see “Palin’s Picnics” from my house. Do Not Want.
Firing spree!
Clamps: I’ll try to find it and bring it to ya. Wink!
What do 53% of Americans have against Trig?
Bailin’ Palin’s Backyard Barbeque of grilled blubber and moose drumsticks - woo…um…hoo…
The taxpayers of Alaska should count their blessings they’re getting off THIS lightly. Though I’d sure count the silver teaspoons in the governor’s mansion after she’s gone, if I were them…
Oh noes. Here she comes. Somebody in Seattle–lock the gate, quick!!!
What’s da quitter gonna do now?
I dunno. Alaska.
Sarah:
“Go up in a helicopter to hunt critters.
Improve my philosophy by doin’ the twitters.
Teaching the fertile ‘uns to keep makin’ litters.
Try to win over all dem ol’ Hillbot BITTERS,”
memzilla: Don’t judge. It’s more fun than it sounds and can be quite profitable.
On the menu at the picnics will be heaping servings of crow.
I’m taking off early today to celebrate.
“Annual tradition” my ass. More free shit for Miss Sarah! I’m sure she’ll be loading up her LV bag with as many goodies as possible. I say let her starve. Hunger can be a positive motivator.
Don Juanquete: Best Palin rap EVAH!
I was hoping for a departure scene similar to the embassy in Saigon.
Another Palin soulmate…
http://rawstory.com/08/news/2009/07/24/anti-gay-pro-abstinence-legislator-had-affair-with-intern/
Whale blubber is a very versatile substance. You can deep-fry your moose burger in it, or use it as a lube in your free live sex show.
“a citizenry composed entirely of retired drunks and crazed Vietnam war vets.” I take great exception to that statement, as I am neither retired from drinking nor a vet. Just a crazy motherfucker who has never been part of the “popular” in Governor Bailin’ Bunnybrain. But to you all who think we are all fucked up here in Alaska, here’s your surprise…she’s all yours from now on, so suck on that! Palin-Bachmann 2012, and don’t forget to ask for birth certificates. Pardon me while I have a beer and shoot up something that looks like the VC that’s walking out my cabin window…
And now we will all suffer through the new Faux show:
Coddlers and Tiaras, with Greta and Sarah
Same trainwreck watchability, same glitz and spray tan. Just no catwalk and no talent.
Not that I need any excuse, but this is a great reason to take the rest of the day off and make a pitcher of martinis.
It’s Five O’clock Somewhere.
stew: Heh. It gets better.
stew: Cummer Lovin’ indeed!
stew: But dang it all, it’s Tennessee! So long as the Republican’s intern was older than 14, s’allowed,
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/07/abstinence-supporting_gop_state_lawmaker_admits_to.php
“taking nude pictures of her in “provocative poses” in his apartment.”. Yummy.
So who fronts the bill for the picnic - the state or her new BFF Rupert Murdoch (whose yacht AND plane are both in Juneau this week)? You now SHE’s not paying…
No insightful tweet for today? http://twitter.com/AKGovSarahPalin
freakishlystrong: So he quit Kiss for that?
What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? A pit bull isn’t a full-of-itself hypocritical do-nothing corrupt lying quitter.
It’s gonna be a blubber slurpin’ good time!
I hope they honor Alaska’s proud Inuit heritage by putting her on an iceberg and pushing her out to sea.
S.Luggo: I love it that the alleged extortionist/boyfriend is talking to reporters and intern doinking senator is not.
@SayItWithWookies: Catchy!
Valerie: There may be some fancy pageant walkin’ also.
Clamps: “Where’s her birth certificate, anyways?”
You’re not gonna find it. She was born on another planet.
40% positive, 53% negative, and I’m stuck in the middle with the 7% who do not believe she actually exists.
Valerie: What, no fancy pagent walkin’?? Damn!
So, nobody likes the pitbull-with-lipstick, except the mouth-breathing racist morons who make up the majority of the Republican base: oops! Time to go into the garden and eat worms. Either that or cry all the way to the bank.
SayItWithWookies: You mean a pit bull vs. a quit bull.
Quitter Sarah Palin is a quitter. A president should never be a quitter. Sarah Palin is a quitter. A president should never fold his (her?) hand like a quitter, he should keep raising until the casino guards escort him out of the building.
stew: Hey, this is just the latest example of smarmy oleaginous Repug high-hypocritical douchebaggery here in the glorious border state of Tennessee. We got a million more just like him. For example, here’s a comment made in support of Mr. “Family Values” Stanley by my very own state rep, posted on his ludicrous blog:
“Well, I guess this is just more proof, Republicans are clearly irresistible to females.”
http://blognetwork.knoxnews.com/feed.php?channel=15
Don Juanquete: A quit-bull with lip-schtick.
stew: She is female, alive and over 18- no story here. Don’t forget it has to be a dead girl or a live boy or a meth addicted gay male prostitute(but this one can be prayed about and forgiven) for the GOP to get concerned.
So, what kind of pranks will Sarah pull on her last day at the office?
Leave the toilets filled with tootsie rolls…as she walks out the door saying, “You know, I’m leaving so many pieces of myself behind here.”
stew: Yep. I sent that in yesterday as a tip, but no joy. Maybe you’ll win this way.
Hey! My Blingee! (*wink! wink!*)
Well, well, well… The door has hit Our Lil’ Grifter in her fat, sorry ass at last. The Governor’s office had better lock up the supply closet, because a certain Little Miss Sticky Fingers might run off with boxes of rubber bands and stationary. Oh, and cancel the Governor’s office credit cards and cell phones… Yikes. You don’t want the bill from Neiman Marcus, (just ask WALNUTS.) Not to mention end up paying for the endless, psychotic, pleading calls to Fox looking for a job.
At these picnics, will they be serving cheese with her whine ?
finallyhappy: Yeqah, but the story says there’s a video.
Being a governor is just like having a job; except that with a job, you have responsibilities.
jodyleek: We don’t need an Anchorage bureaucrat getting between us and our carnival rides!
LittlePig: The eds probably know that a wingnut rep. from Tennessee who sticks it in a female intern and gets pnwed by good folks at Planned Parenthood is hardly news. At least not compared with the shenaningans of Memphis’s answer to Kwame Kilpatrick.
“a citizenry composed entirely of retired drunks and crazed Vietnam war vets.”
And a couple of astronauts that got hitched and fled to there in order to escape from one of their deranged companions.
oldguy: It doesn’t help to quit then, does it?
I’m certainly going to miss our pal Governor Palin. Here are some top 5 moments: http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/07/my-5-favorite-sarah-palin-moments.html
Hopefully Palin will still be in the media via twitter.
SendLawyersGunsAndMoney: “a citizenry composed entirely of retired drunks and crazed Vietnam war vets.”
Absolutely right. That is a gross mischaracterization. The citizenry also includes a sizable number of Inuit/Aleut human popsicles:
http://www.alaskajournal.com/stories/031608/loc_20080316015.shtml
…oh, and one Wonkette reader.
PALIN 2012! QUITTING FOR VICTORY!
Will we get more words of wisdom from Queen Winkentwitter of the North that’ll require extensive editing?
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/07/palin-speech-edit-200907
We don’t need no steenkin’ Denny’s loiterers mucking up the view of Russia.
LittlePig: I don’t think Wonk views sex scandals involving self-righteous republicans as news anymore…she may be right.
stew: Sen. Stanley w/ non-soulmate and two others: http://www.paulstanley.org/images/07Pictures021-small.jpg
stew: See thus.
Crab1: It is going to come out that Palin herself is a huge methhead, right? Do YOU have a more likely explanation for her behavior? I don’t.
“Games for the children” includes stuffing baby turkeys into conical steel grinders.
OReillysVibrator:God gave us meth and open doors so why not.I still think Trig looks more fetal alcohol syndrome than Down Syndrome.
There’s a rumor that no-longer-depressioned Canuckian Anne Murray will be performing, also. Her hit song “The Pedobear’s Picnic” is one of Todd Palin’s all-time favorites.
Hart88: Isn’t it time for Rupert to go back to Australia?
Violenza: I can just see her stuffing cocktail shrimp into her purse before she heads for the exit.
DelMonte for Governor, 2010.
Hart88: Just quit.
Wske me if she ever poses for Playboy.
102415: You think? I’m no expert, but I figured if you could fake it that maybe when Bristol was pregnant with him she tried to abort him via massive alcohol consumption, so maybe there’s something to that.
Post
Doesn’t she know that you always resign as of the 1st (or 2nd or 3rd) of the month so you get almost a free month’s health insurance?
Those COBRA payments are a killer!
OReillysVibrator: It’s in the face. Google fetal alcohol and the medical images come up.I notice he’s referred to now as special needs not Down specifically.
Would anyone want to see Sarah have live sex with a human being? I might turn out to see her do it with a moose.
Zhu Bajie
The next Palin grandchild will be named for her: Jerky. You betcha.
Peri-menopausal Palin. It will only get more fun from here.