Wonkette
Senator John Ensign isn’t quitting his job just because he had the poor taste to sleep with his friend’s wife and then stick his parents with the most expensive “here’s a little something for your trouble” tab ever, but his chief of staff might be! According to one report, Ensign COS John Lopez is “leaving” the senator’s office. Is he quitting? Getting fired? Laid off, like a common employee of Huck Pac? Who knows, ’cause Ensign’s office ain’t telling. Our money’s on quitting, because most Senate chiefs of staff want to bow out at the pinnacle of their careers. [The Hill]
Well duh, he is taking the position of media realtions director for the “500 days of Fummer” remake/prequel or whatever.
he’s quitting to not be a quitter. At least, that’s what Sarah told him to say.
I have had some pretty crappy jobs in my time but COS to a swinish lout like Ensign (or probably any member of the U.S. Senate) sounds really horrible.
Maybe Lopez is leaving the C-Street whorehouse ’cause he’s not gettting his share of C-street whores…
This should satisfy everyone who was calling for a resignation.
No, the job of being Ensign’s mistress is the really horrible one.
Is there a Mrs. Lopez? And what kind of severance package did she get?
Ack! A Weblo exploded on my Wonkette!
He’s quitting due to embarrassment. UPI quotes Lopez as saying “John let me down. Every other COS’s boss does something so out there, so bizarre…Vitter and the diapers, Craig and the foot-tapping, Foley and the underage pages. My boss? Has an affair with a woman. A woman! What is happening to the NAMBLA I knew and loved?”
I guess that he doesn’t want to feel like his job is on the line when he testifies before the Senate Ethics Commitee.
Considering his history with staffers, this could be his wide-stance waterloo, as it were..
It’s difficult to navigate around wonkette with the 500 “500 days of summer” ads… MUST SEE MOVIE! MUST SEE MOVIE! I guess advertising does work…
I Am Not Your Gary Busey: No shit! At least it saved me one decision - now I know that I’ll never be tempted to go see 500 Gays Get Hummers or whatever that crap is.
What does this have to do with (500) Days Of Summer?
The Chief of Staff’s pay isn’t very good, but at least your old lady won’t be pestering you for sex all the time.
Terry: I don’t know, it sure seems to pay pretty good, especially in THIS economy!
When I clicked on the link for COS-play, this is NOT what I had in mind.
Come here a minute: 4 inches, fully stimultated
Terry: Or being Sanford’s wife.
I Am Not Your Gary Busey: Yeah, we had a Scoutmaster in the next county with that problem as well.
He’s taking time off to get his hair mold retooled and his teeth varnished.
OKLAHOMAjesus?: I’ve been absent for a couple days, how long have you poor sods been subjected to this wallpaper?
On the whole, I liked the giant Campbell Brown MUCH better.
Leaving to join Cambridge PD.
500 days of summer background ad is making me insane. fucking annoying smiley people.
Oh, sure, an Ensign story- but nothing on Mark Sanford. Just what did I do to piss off Wonkette? How about if I promise to see 500 days?? And why is there a photo of Barry Bostwick up there when he played the mayor of NYC?
Lascauxcaveman: It has existed in our skies, and our souls, since the dawn of time…. it is the wallpaper of heaven…
Lascauxcaveman: Not long, though the Onion has the same thing going on, if I would be angrier if I wasn’t in love with Zooey.
Wonkette Editors: Would you lose your advertising dollars if you officially declared summer 2009 “500 Days of Cummer”?
Ensign’s staffers must feel so conflicted nowadays. If you quit, everyone’s first question will be, “What, was he shtupping your wife too?” But if you stay, well, you’re working for a douchebag.
Liz Becton does not like it when you call her Zoe. Also.
He is resigning from Ensign to go to work for Mark Sanford, because Maria Argentina is sooo much hotter than Ensign’s bar-hair boinkee.
Yes, he should leave now before he has to deal with a ‘Hiking the Appalachian Trail’ incident.
So who’s the ball and who’s the hoop?
To Ensign’s mom & pop: get out the checkbook. It’s hush money time.
Btw, Lopez. How’s the wife?
Cape Clod: Terry: Wait, we feel sorry for the wives and mistresses of these assholes? How could they have possibly foreseen any problems with marrying/bonking-on-the-side an asshole? Attention anyone thinking of becoming involved with senators (and their ilk) — even sheltered little David ‘thighmaster’ Brooks has shockingly revealed that most of them are “emotional freaks of one sort or another” who “spend so much time kneading [sic] people’s love”. On the other hand, Ensign’s wife may have been hypnotized by his terrific hair.
“A delightful, witty, well-acted and inventive comedy.”
And I thought it was an add for Cialis or Effexor, need to read the wallpaper more closely.
Mahousu: S.Luggo: Heh, heh. It seems, if queerty.com is to be believed, these considerations would not apply to Lopez. Mind you, I have no idea of the trustworthiness of the source.
WadISay: No kidding, only roo bucks a week. That 500 pay’s a bummer.
I meant $500 a week. Real bummer.
Norbert: You may have just reached the crux of the John Lopez resignation. Lopez had better hair than the well-coifed senator and thus was given three options, resign, shave his head, or accept the senator’s generous “severance” “package”
19kevin8: Banned.
Who’s next?
Are there rules on banning? Also how about a wonkette encyclopedia? Like where did “whore diamonds” come from? Or “teh Buttsecks”
finallyhappy:
“whore diamonds” comes from the Eliott Spitzer imbroglio. Ashley Dupree’s escort service rated their “service providers” in diamonds.
If history is any indication, he’s leaving because Ensign is tired of fucking him. Look for Mr. Ensign, Sr., to send gobs of hush money his way.
It’s an ad. They are all over the place on and offline. Get over it. Small price to pay for the joy that is Wonkette.
finallyhappy: LittlePig: And “teh Buttsecks” comes from the heart.
At least, in an ideal world.
I much prefer the Zoeys to the Sarahs.
But whatever pays the bills is better than staring at the actual work I’m supposed to be doing.
I liked the American Apparel ads. I can get my political and hubba hubba fixes at the same time.