Wonkette
Last year, even some Democrats liked Mike Huckabee for two and a half seconds because he had “ideas” that went beyond “grind up the bottom 2 percent of earners into Hamburger Helper and give Fred Thompson another tax cut.” He said novel things about looking after the Poors and probably some other shit, who can remember really, it was so long ago. Anyway, after he lost the Republican nomination to an enfeebled Navy guy with a hair-trigger temper and a grifter sidekick, Mike Huckabee formed a political action committee and everybody assumed he was laying the groundwork for another presidential run. But that PAC and its attendant “think tank” organ are now looking pretty sad.
Nobody knows how much money Huck Pac has in the bank because they haven’t filed any FEC reports this year (PROBABLY NOT A GOOD SIGN). But things went steadily downhill between June and December of last year in terms of debt and cash on hand. Now they’ve laid off an old Huckabee hand; their associated think tank, the Vertical Politics Institute, appears to have been eated by the larger Huck Pac organization; and the VPI’s head has gone to work on a political campaign.
AND Mike Huckabee has gotten fat again. Conclusion: he’s not running for anything besides Mayor of Fox News.
Mike Huckabee’s Huck Pac ‘Restructuring;’ Longtime Aide Laid Off [Arkansas Business Journal]
I love fat Huckabee!! I wish I could use him for a pillow.
“I think… I think I’ll get an extra glass of gravy to go with my biscuits and gravy.”
Hair Trigger Temper Man and his sidekick Grifter would make an excellent comic book series.
He should change the name to Phuck Pac … all the Little Rock hipsters would come runnin’.
Sounds like the vertical politics institute has gone horizontal, and not the good kind of horizontal that so many other Republican contenders enjoy engaging in.
Mike Huckabee is already president if of the Sarah Palin Ruined My Career Club.
That photo! So unpatriotic. No stars, only stripes. No flag pins. And the dog is clearly a muslin.
HELLO- Where is my Mark Sanford coverage?
I’ll bet the catering bills ate a considerable hole into the PAC’s bottom line.
HELLO- Where is my Mark Sanford coverage? http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20090722/NEWS/90722009/1004/NEWS01
What a husband and what a governor!
My feeble mind has trouble putting that photo and the term “think tank” in the same sentence.
Mebbe “chamber of pondering”…”mull bucket”…”barrel of cogitation.” Certainly not “fat vat!”
Hey! Waitaminute! Is that actually a PYT in the Huckabee family there? Is that photo still accurate, or have they eaten her since it was taken?
norbizness: “I think… I think I’ll get an extra tank of gravy to go with my biscuits and gravy.”
Fixed.
Is the point of the Vertical Politics Institute to promote the wearing of vertically striped shirts among its members? Then it has brilliance I had not suspected…because OoooooWheeeeee! VPI will drive us mad for a peek at the doughy wonderment beneath those blousons!
finallyhappy: This guy is not doing much governing these days. Is there no federal money to be rejected? No state service to the poor he could be cutting?
Conclusion: he’s not running for anything besides Mayor of Fox News.
———
Mayor McCheese, maybe…
Someone must have told Huck that Vertical Politics were slimming. When he found out to the contrary, well, not much hope for them.
earnestcivilservant: And are those some professorial elbow patches on those striped shirts? I mean, they look like they could be denim, but still… ELITIST!
earnestcivilservant: maybe that’s why one of his obese children tortured the dog to death or some such (look it up!)
Gawd, those sons of his! That’s child abuse right there that is…and by that I mean the matching shirts, who the fuck does that?
snideinplainsight: I found a picture of her from the campaign- she is not bad looking but not as cute as she was.
snideinplainsight: Even worse: daughter Sarah is the Executive Director of Huck Pac. I guess child labor is still legal in Arkansas.
The post already made me sad and now i just read the alt text and feel like weeping. o the pathos!
Mike might have been angling for that Surgeon General spot…
They blew the first rule of think tank budgeting, which is to restrict expenditures to mission critical functions and have only ONE Pizza Day per week.
finallyhappy: So aren’t we all, my friend, so aren’t we all.
Huck needs a good PR campaign led by none other than Chuck Norris. Chuck can Kung-Fu anyone who objects.
“Mmmm, butter” does not a think tank make.
Why didn’t he hire Mark Penn in the beginning? Sure, he’d be broker than an orphan hobo baby, but think of the donuts they could have enjoyed together.
New Article Title:
Huckabee’s Thinks Tank
Friedman just publshed his new book, The World is Fat 4.0: A Beef Huckstory of the 21st Century.
earnestcivilservant: Haha. That is Daily Show quality comedy right there. Well done, sir.
Yes, vertical stripes are slimming, but there ARE limits.
earnestcivilservant: I see plenty of stripes.
x111e7thst: I think SC is doing better with him gone. Not that I would know- I try not to enter that state unless coerced(meaning work travel)
major web design background advertisement FAIL
Speed Ball: Yeah, vertical picture stripes are not really slimming.
But that PAC and its attendant “think tank” organ are now looking pretty sad.
The problem was they had nothing to stimulate the Republican “thinking organ”. SarahPAC rules! I predict more Runners World type photo galleries.
What in the world was his “Think Tank” thinking about? My guess - The virtues of Sansabelt slacks whilst dining at your local OCB.
gurukalehuru: tthyme: I had a similar though — THe Vertical Institute: Think Tank for Fat-Headed Thinkers and Morbidly Obese Wingnuts
With their matching duds, this looks like the album cover for some fat version of a Christian rock singing group.
“Ready, gang, ‘Holy Jesus and Me, go together like ribs and sweet tea’ on 3. . . .”
Is Wonkette baiting us with the dick jokes? You’re just asking for it when you use phrases like “think tank” organ…..
Huckabeen
When I look at that family photograph, I cannot help but ask the question: whom will get eated by whom first?
If they’re the ones who “thought” those shirts would be a good idea then they deserve to be shut down.
It’s sad when your brainstorming-for-ideas session becomes a drizzle and then slides into a long drought.
Holy hell, 500 Days of Cummer in my face? It’s the new economy-size Campbell Brown.
Barbershop trio meets the Judds?
Don’t you all realize the only way Huck can keep up his diet and exercise program is by quitting it?
BTW, Huck is taking up the cause of investigating dimensional profiling by police and resturant workers.
The one of the left is affectionately known as “Huckabee’s Trig.”
Per the standards of Faux Noise, putting on those lbs. means he can’t be Surgeon General.
He’s getting fat again? Obviously he’s looking to lead the million fat wingnut march on Washington.
earnestcivilservant: The dog has an apple in his mouth. He probably went straight into the roasting pan after the picture was taken.
ManchuCandidate: I am lieterally crying here, yu r funny !
lionboy: Don’t forget, Pure (not by choice though)
finallyhappy: I thought he had Bubba’s old job, which meant he probably had to replace the office drapes when he moved in. But anyway, SC isn’t going to get ahead at all so long as both their senators are named after Girl Scout cookies.
OMG, Grifter! That is the best one-word description of Palin ever!
http://palingates.blogspot.com/2009/07/arah-palins-handwriting.html
pass the popcorn…
Whew! Turns out we don’t have to worry about Huck Pac after all. They have a new line of business - ripping off Republican candidates for office: Phillip spent nearly $45,000 [most of it going directly to Huckabee] to raise less than $20,000 ….
Slice up the big brother on top, put his pieces in a few Omaha Steaks boxes, sell him door to door and voila! Think tank saved by sacrificial cannibalism.
Who, Moi?: Congratulations! You’re the first contestant on Whore My Blog!
My god they’re just fucking AWFUL.
Fat striped men that make their women wear red and live on a plantation. Perfect for Washington!
The Huckster just said “Tanks, but no tanks” to that thought to nowhere.
hobospacejunkie: umm, that’s not my blog.
Who, Moi?: Please accept my humble apologies for being an asshole. I have no excuse.
hobospacejunkie: It’s okay. The truth is, if I could whore my blog, I would. Actually, a lot of sites are set up so a lick on a commenter’s name brings you right to their own site, and I quite like having that option available. I have frittered away much pleasurable time following such links and discovered all sorts of interesting ideas I never would have encountered otherwise.
Why does Wonkette hate her commenters so? Is she a jealous intertube attention hog?
BTW the latest Grifter ethics issue is deliciously amusing.
is it just me, or do they look like that farting family on the fake movie trailer in tropic thunder? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6CZyy6bWA0&feature=related)
this photo should be on the Awkward Family Photos site…
guerilla-nation: The Fatties Fart 2: In the Stink Tank
Who, Moi?: Having a link from your name to website encourages people to post just to whore their blog; I suspect that’s the reason.
Uncle Glenny: sigh. It is very difficult to fathom these intertube etiquettes especially when you’re old enough to remember the days when an entire family shared one phone and the only cars with a/c were Cadillacs.
On the other hand, no one is forced to click on a link, and if the poster has nothing interesting to say nobody will go to their site - or they will, and leave nasty snark that will discourage them from posting solely to whore their blog…no?
Who, Moi?: C’mon man, yer draggin’ this out. It’s really simple.