REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS  2:22 pm July 22, 2009

Whoa Hey, the FreeRepublic Website Is Overthrowing the U.S. Government

by Ken Layne

Send these fuckers to the FEMA camps, quick! This would be terrifying if it wasn’t about some lamer old wingnuts and their message board: The person who runs is cold gonna overthrow the U.S. government — that means you, blackenstein — and ho ho, no more taxes on the millionaires! Hooray! Anyway, folks, things are getting Seriously Weird with the wingnuts, birthers, paultards and other middle-aged white suckers who bought into that whole Reagan thing 30 years ago and, whoops, are still poor and doomed.

And then, in 2008, Americans mysteriously voted in droves for a common African Soviet from, er, Hawaii, who has been president now for what, six months? And this NON-PRESIDENT is, uhm, trying to get some health coverage for these poor dumb AM-radio listeners, so …. OVERTHROW THE GUBMINT.

What will happen? How many will shoot up Holocaust museums, or start car-bombing the hip hop? And how thankful should we all be that these people are so goddamned obese that simply getting up from the ‘puter table is pretty much out of the realm of possibility? [FreeRepublic]


Hola wonkerados.

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Crankenstank July 22, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Wow, glad I read the Freeper post: now I know the evil people who passed the 17th amendment way back in the nineteen-tens by having three-fourths of the states ratify it after 2/3 of each house of Congress, including the Senate, sure were evil despots and it has undeniably been downhill ever since for Real Americans.

4tehlulz July 22, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Say hi to the FBI for me, Freepers.

CrunchyKnee July 22, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Palin/Paul ’12!!!!111!

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Seriously though, these people are a trifle bit frightening.

Tommmcatt July 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm

That piece actually advocates setting up a shadow governenment. I totally want a piece of that action. Limbaugh for President! Ann Coulter as Speaker of the House! Michelle Malkin as Secretary of Defense. OH MY GOD THE LULZ!!!!!!

The Station Manager July 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Well, at least they’re fully abandoning The Olde Vote by just cold murdering the Social Security.

Dave J. July 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm

The Freepers are basically grown up versions of kids who think they can buy the neat toy they want by selling lemonade in their front yard in March for $3.00 a cup, and then have to ask their mom for money for it at the end of the day.

Suds McKenzie July 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm

“the wingnutz are coming, the wingnutz are coming”.

shypixel2 July 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm

“The Secretary of State shall immediately assume the office of interim Chief Executive.”

OMFG! It’s another Hilltard Plot!

DirkLeisure July 22, 2009 at 2:34 pm

How are we going to defend ourselves against the Freepers in the Ron Paul blimp now that Obama has axed the F-22?!

Oldskool July 22, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Holy shit I have to stop seeing crap like that. It reminds me of family members who I love/hate and it reminds me of the shouting matches I get into at the range. Jesus christ what a fucked up country.

Extemporanus July 22, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Jeepers creepers, where’d ya get them Freepers?
Oh those weepers, how they hypnotize!

widget09 July 22, 2009 at 2:35 pm

I am terrified of an army of panniculi, truck nutz, birthers, freepers overthrowing the US goverment. I really don’t think the are capable of that as most of them are fat arses with limited intelligence.

V572625694 July 22, 2009 at 2:36 pm

” An interim provisional Chief Executive and congressional representatives will be established as follows:
The Secretary of State shall immediately assume the office of interim Chief Executive.”

They want Hilz to be prez? Who’da thunk it?

The Church of Realism July 22, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=368053]DirkLeisure[/re]: Hmmm a bag of funyons, a case of PBR and two tickets to Opryland? That should stop the slog of the obese cold.

shortsshortsshorts July 22, 2009 at 2:36 pm





V572625694 July 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=368057]Extemporanus[/re]: Quicker = funnier, to be sure.

Crapola July 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm

A Million Paultard March? Wouldn’t that vast amount of stupid concentrated in one area rip the fabric of space and time?

4tehlulz July 22, 2009 at 2:38 pm

“Who’da thunk it?”

Not the Freepers apparently. Who wants to be the one to let them know that BILLERY CLINTON would be the prez?

Dave J. July 22, 2009 at 2:38 pm

It’s funny that the very first response to the long “here’s what we need to do, gang” post is:

“Bookmark for further action.”

Tells you all you need to know, really.

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Also, one little thing people that bitch about the 17th Am. always forget about: The states must ratify amendments to the Constitution. It’s not like Washington just stuck it to the states and laughed at them.


BklynIlluminati July 22, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Tards playing toy soldiers.

Grumpy Old Man July 22, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if Atlas Shrugged – then I go to Freepers and realize what a nightmare it would be. Did you see the thread on the Obama children??

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes Ken Layne comes across as not only the funniest political “commentator” on the planet but also the most honest.

Crapola July 22, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=368062]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Happy belated birfday. Wherez ur birf sirtifikut?

Manos: Hands of Fate July 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Here’s an idea. Why don’t you wait until 2012 and peacefully try to convince voters of the need to replace Obama with Palin or Bachman or George Wallace or whoever. We can even codify those rules in some document so we can avoid violent coups every few years.

Sorry, just watched John Adams and it seemed like a good idea.

eclecticbrotha July 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm

The Secretary of State shall immediately assume the office of interim Chief Executive. The Chief Executive shall appoint and the interim Senate shall confirm an interim Vice President.

Boy, dem dere PUMAS just don’t quit, do they?

pdiddycornchips July 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Wingnuttery at it’s finest. One day, our children’s children will look back on this document as the columination of years of rightwing thought boiled down into a crazy stew of conservative talking points, racist leanings and borderline paranoia. Just think, these insane crackers are armed to the teeth and seething with anger. I’m selling my bank stocks and investing in Kevlar.

The Church of Realism July 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=368062]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: HAHA, I read that as Birf Shiitake…

CrunchyKnee July 22, 2009 at 2:42 pm


TGY July 22, 2009 at 2:43 pm

There you go, pushing Glock sales up, again.

That graphic always reminds me of the scene from Airplane (still a classic today): “Everyone assume crash position!” But I suppose you had to have been there.

[re=368045]Noonan[/re]: Nah, there have always been such people. They’d try to overthrow the government with shotguns, pickup trucks, and six packs. They don’t grasp how the world works at all, which is why they are poor and ignorant. Perhaps causality goes the other way. Also, EVERYONE USES ALL CAPS ON TEH INTARWEBS, at least figuratively.

Crapola July 22, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=368070]Grumpy Old Man[/re]: The Freepers would show up to where all the people with actual money were Galting and promptly be told, “What the fuck are you povs doing here?” I think it would be quite funny.

Hooray For Anything July 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Reading Freeper message boards is like reading through World of Warcraft or some other role playing game’s message boards in terms of people sitting around fantasizing about all the cool and brave things they’ll do in imagination land. The only difference is that the one’s on Freeper make the one’s on WoW message boards seem sane, well-adjusted, and normal. The one’s on Freeper seem like the one’s who have to tell the police whenever they move that they’re on the National Sex Offender Registry List.

Cape Clod July 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm

“To: Jim Robinson
I’m afraid the present government would never relinquish it’s power by peaceful means.”

The reason being that the present government was elected by a statistically significant majority of the country, still enjoys an approval rating in the 60% range, and controls the most powerful miltary in the history of the fucking world. With all that going for it, why would they meekly hand over the reigns of power to a group of demented, reality-denying idiots?

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=368079]TGY[/re]: Maybe. But I wish time machines existed for goofy people like this who think it was better back in the time of “the Founders”. Send the effers back and see how sweet life was.

“Nasty, brutish and short.”

orange July 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm

“* * R O U G H * * D R A F T * *”


shortsshortsshorts July 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm



DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 2:49 pm

I’m really, really fucking tired and sleepy and just hit play on the CD player and came up with the theme from “John Adams” that I paid itunes for and remembered all the (five) revolutionary/constitutional history books I’ve read in the past year by noted historians and what a fucking miracle it was the Founders had the guts to roll the dice on an unproven system of government and that people were willing to go blanket-less and shoe-less in the fucking snow to fight for our liberty and these freepers make me want to fucking hunt them down and stuff a copy of a Joseph Ellis book–or even McCullough–down their fucking throats until they fucking choke on the history of the country they know absolutely fucking nothing about. And cram “Plain Honest Men” up their asses while I’m at it.

The End.

(Spoiler Alert: DustBowlBlues’ B.A. is in history)

HipHopOpotamus July 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm

I have a feeling I’ll be receiving this in a family listserv email soon (ah, the good ‘ole loyal irish republicans…)

pdiddycornchips July 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=368082]Cape Clod[/re]:

They assume the military is on their side. I’m sure Ralph Peters being on TV has something to do with that. Sadly, they’ll soon realize most everyone, military included,thinks they’re batshit crazy.

zenferret July 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Well before that 17th ammendment only white males could vote and all. Them wimmen ruined it all three years before they could vote.

Its all them wimmen voting and then allowing the darkies to actually vote that caused all of this.

IceIceBaby July 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm

I love how it’s the party that unconditionally approved all of big-government Bush’s actions and bought Cheney’s hare-brained theory on the Vice-Presidency that’s now all worried about the executive unconstitutionally expanding its powers.

They don’t give a crap about the Constitution – they’re a bunch of overgrown two year olds who are crying because they lost the game and are blaming the rules instead of their own inability.

Mapmonger July 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

[re=368058]widget09[/re]: [i]army of panniculi[/i] Dibs on this superb band name.

Fear of a Black Reagan July 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

“If we could get millions of Americans to march on Washington, what would we do?”

Good question! Here’s some ideas…

HipHopOpotamus July 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

[re=368086]HipHopOpotamus[/re]: I judge your spelling skills. ReEIving.

LittlePig July 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Gotta love That random Capitalization, too, so that The documents look Like Founding Father stuff.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=368074]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: “Sorry, just watched John Adams and it seemed like a good idea.”

Soulmate! ‘Cept I read the book first. Movie more fun.

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=368084]Noonan[/re]: Yes, the founders were all nasty, brutish and short. Especially that Washington feller.

Oh, you meant life. Gotcha.

x111e7thst July 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=368045]Noonan[/re]: They have guns true, but they are also so morbidly obese that they get stuck in the little electric-scooter-things they ride arould the Walmart. So you will almost certainly be able to get away from them when they attempt to rise up and overthrow the state.

LittlePig July 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

“If we could get millions of Americans to march on Washington, what would we do?”

Note to self: Buy Chee-toh’s distributorship in DC area.

V572625694 July 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

[re=368082]Cape Clod[/re]: [re=368079]TGY[/re]: [re=368068]BklynIlluminati[/re]: These loonies have no idea of the destructive power even one battalion (400-800 guys) of modern infantry carries along with it. Their delusion that they’ll rise up and throw off the oppressor’s yoke with their .22s and Soviet-surplus AKs is merely a justification for fapping with their gunz all the time.

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

[re=368058]widget09[/re]: It’s the million hoveround roll on washington.

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm

[re=368101]Gopherit[/re]: Wrong. Washington was 6 foot 20 and weighed a fucking ton.

Holy Cow!! July 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm

It does seem like America is suddenly overrun with idiots and conspiracy theorists. I know they’ve always been around. But Jesus! They see to be everywhere here lately.

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm

There will be no peace until Sarah takes her rightful place as our Queen.

Hostile Michigander July 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm

They also want to demolish “FAA, FDA, FCC, various federal ABC departments agencies and agencies.” Finally, somebody is standing up to those anti-Salmonella, anti-plane-crashing socialists!

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm

I don’t know what the wingnuts are worried about anyway. I have an official copy of my birth certificate on me at all times. It’s on the RFID chip they jammed up my nose at birth. Duh. I ‘m sure Obama will be happy to give them one too.

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=368108]Noonan[/re]: Have you seen George Washington’s Birth Certificate???

Monsieur Grumpe July 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Let’s give the Freepers Texas and let them do whatever they want down there while we sit back and watch it all on FOX’s latest reality TeeVee show “Etc, etc,etc”.

rev_matt_y July 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=368088]DustBowlBlues[/re]: As a fellow History major (’92) I can sympathize. I’m amazed at how much history ‘buffs’ don’t know about fact-based history and instead seem entirely informed by historical fiction either of the Gingrich book or History Channel propaganda variety.

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=368108]Noonan[/re]: hahaha! Damn, I love that video. “He killed his sensei but he never said why.”

Mahousu July 22, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=368117]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: True fact: George Washington was not born in the United States.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=368080]Crapola[/re]: Good point.
Why don’t millionaires ever speak out against new taxes?
Why is it that the only ones who are so adamantly anti-tax are the ones who won’t be taxed at all, and may actually end up benefitting from said tax?
And I just bought Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash. It’s the anti-Atlas Shrugged.

CIC = Central Intelligence Corporation, a for-profit clandestine agency.

Extemporanus July 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=368063]V572625694[/re]: Thank you very much for explaining to me how to be funny. I’ll be sure to use your consistently quick commentary as a benchmark going forward.

I_P July 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=368109]Holy Cow!![/re]: I’ve noticed it too. The WHARRGARBL!!1! is thick on the internets lately.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=368084]Noonan[/re]: ““Nasty, brutish and short.””

Fuck. My kind of thread today. Where would we be if they’d gone with Hobbes instead of Hume and Locke? Fucked, that’s where, living in a freeper wet dream.

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=368101]Gopherit[/re]: Although it is said that Washington was actually around 6 ft. Pretty big back then.

And apparently Martha was quite the fox.

AxmxZ July 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm

One tard-nation under the motto IOIYAR.

LittlePig July 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm

“IS THIS TOMORROW?: California after Prop 13″

DemmeFatale July 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm

So, is this how it ends?
Crazy-ass repubs going down in flames of glory?

About time!!!!

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=368123]Mahousu[/re]: He was born in Virginia though. I was sorta bummed to learn that he didn’t come from foggy London Towne.

The Decider July 22, 2009 at 3:03 pm

It’s funny how they don’t scream about “separation of powers” when Republicans are in charge.

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=368112]Hostile Michigander[/re]: And what about making public all of the Air Force UFO files, publish the location of ALL U.S. owned and operated StarGates and reveal the true coordinates of Atlantis.

Noonan July 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=368127]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yeah. Three years of political philosophy and those are about the only three words I remember. Oops.

intellijen July 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm

“car-bombing the hip hop” .. is that like tripping the light fantastic? god, i can never keep up with these new dance trends.

RoscoePColtraine July 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Is this what happens when you take the ‘arts’ out of public schools?

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=368092]zenferret[/re]: Just think what allowing black women to vote has done to the world. Have you seen that monster, Michele Obama? Her beautiful face and hot body are just to torture the true Amerikans.

If these dimbulb’s mothers would just throw another bag of pork rinds down the basement stairs, they would be tanked dup and one more bookmark toward their revolution.

Aloysius July 22, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Someone needs to call the museum curator at Harper’s Ferry and let him know that the Freepers are coming. He’ll need time to stock the snack machines.

finallyhappy July 22, 2009 at 3:07 pm

I just read it- these morons seriously think they could bring guns and threaten people and not get shot themselves. Forget the military and the police- DC itself would represent(as they say). As to shutting federal agencies- who will adminster all the money the fatties on disability get?

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=368128]Noonan[/re]: That’s what they all say. But now I’ll be seeing our first First Lady as Padma Lashkmi from this day forward.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Uncle Walter was our last hope….

SayItWithWookies July 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm

There’s nothing like overthrowing the government, repealing thousands of state and federal laws and judicial precedents, arbitrarily defining what can and can’t be a legal function of government and nullifying two hundred years of societal evolution in order to — um — preserve the Constitution.

If there was a market for intellectual bankruptcy these fuckers would be rich.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm

(as Homer Simpson)
N-S-A! N-S-A! N-S-A!
Yes, let’s BROADCAST the revolution to the world.

lobo2009 July 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Speaking of John Adams, the “Alien and Sedition Acts” come to mind. Doesn’t this qualify of sedition. Therefore, don’t we have a right to publicly hang them or waterboard them while making them live in Gitmo? Look it up I’m sure it’s in the Constitution.

BTW I think Jefferson would have had them all arrested after all he had Aaron Burr arrested for trying to become emperor of Mexico

norbizness July 22, 2009 at 3:10 pm

They’ve got the guns and they’ve got the numbers. FIVE TO ONE, BABY, ONE IN FIVE!

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed
A poor Teabagger, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was watchin the flat tube,
And who won the ‘lection but a Muslin Man.

A BLACK is leading the US, a Kenyan man.

Well the first thing you know ol Jed’s a freaking out there,
Kinfolk said “Jed lead a charge there”
Said “Washington is the place you ought to be”
So they loaded up the truck and drove to Washington.

DC, that is. Tourist traps, Congressmen.

Well now its time to say good by to Jed and all his kin.
And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.
You’re all invited back a gain to this facility
To have a heapin helpin of Special Therapy

Shock Therapy that is. Happy pills, have some Oxy.

Y’all vote for WHITES, y’hear?.

Mr Blifil July 22, 2009 at 3:11 pm


lobo2009 July 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Speaking of John Adams the Alien and Sedition acts come to mind. Don’t we have the right to shut them up and throw them in a Gitmo prison? I’m sure that’s what the founding father’s would want.

L33tminion July 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm

I’m just amused at the mental image of right-wingers handing the entire federal government over to Hillary Clinton.

S.Luggo July 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm

The new US currency shall be the pork rind.

american mutt July 22, 2009 at 3:16 pm

I like the “I was anti-Obama before it was cool” picture.

I think that means they hated uppity blacks before they was president.

smartypants July 22, 2009 at 3:17 pm

What in Thor’s handbag are these idiots afraid of, exactly? Wellness?

Shit, no. They just don’t like Barry and if the whelping is loud enough then CNN will pick up on it and pretend that it’s news (see ‘Lou Dobbs Needs a Diaper Change’)…

Plus, what if the gubmint takes away their right to sit at the doctor’s office of their choice for 1.5 hours watching Fox news on the eighteen tv monitors mounted all over the waiting room, and then takes away their right to be prescribed a whole bunch of neat stuff that the pharm. rep just came by with?

Yeah, they just want their country back..that’s it.


azw88 July 22, 2009 at 3:21 pm

“Our Founders established that when our government becomes destructive of our rights then it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

Guess they just never mastered that whole ballot and election thing, eh?

BUT, If they can create a form of government that is likely to make me happy, ie free, on demand blowjobs then sign me up!

Todd Mecklem July 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm

If you can pull it off, Freepers, I’m pretty sure Lanny Davis will be your lobbyist…if you can afford his fee.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm

“Half of the POPULATION actively desires more socialism, whether or not they can lucidly express that thought in English. A quarter don’t give a damn, and haven’t given it more than a passing thought. A quarter care about the founding vision of the USA, the Constitution, etc.”

Then that would put you in the minority and thus this wouldn’t be a very democratic movement would it?

shortsshortsshorts July 22, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[re=368152]Mr Blifil[/re]: Thank you for that.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=368149]ManchuCandidate[/re]: For once modified song lyrics were actually funny. Very clever.

Godless Liberal July 22, 2009 at 3:29 pm

I would like it if each Free Republic poster counted, for census and voting purposes, as three-fifths of a person.

glamourdammerung July 22, 2009 at 3:29 pm

“If we could get millions of Americans to march on Washington, what would we do?”

Not a damned thing other than bitch and cry some more.

Though a few would shoot up a couple more “liberal” churches, minorities, Holocaust museums, etc. in order to “fight the evil government”. Funny how they never have the guts to try that nonsense with our soldiers.

HuddledMass July 22, 2009 at 3:29 pm

My favorite quote from the comments–

“To: GeronL
It was THE BALLS but I’ve been looking for my damn reading glasses all morning,SORRY FOLKS!”

No worries. Their ‘movement” will disintegrate while they struggle to locate reading glasses, false teeth, hearing aids, golf carts, segways, and various prosthetics. No way they’ll get up off the barca-lounger.

Cicada July 22, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=368144]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I thought the market for intellectual bankruptcy is the editorial staff of the NRO. I’m sure Rich Lowry would be willing to kick down at least $20 for this horseshit.

Limeylizzie July 22, 2009 at 3:31 pm

No Snark Available ..I am so sad and freaked out by all these lunatics that I just told the FBI about this latest screed.

S.Luggo July 22, 2009 at 3:32 pm

“U.S. Senators will be elected … by the various state legislatures.”
Fuck you, representative government.

Lazy Media July 22, 2009 at 3:32 pm

The Secretary of State shall immediately assume the office of interim Chief Executive. The Chief Executive shall appoint and the interim Senate shall confirm an interim Vice President.

Hillary is a Freeper now?

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 3:32 pm

from the Comments:
“The parallels with 1775 are fairly exact (also parallels with Germany in the 30’s as well).”

Dead on about the comparison to the early 30′s in Germany, in a very scary way: Opposition to a democratically elected governemnt by a bunch of racist, fear-mongering nationalists that sought to blame the woes on ‘evil outsiders’.
Just waiting to see who will become the freepers “Hitler”, we already know that the blacks and messicans are the new Jews.

d4g33z July 22, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Sigh. History is so amusingly cyclical. How long before the fringe has its own ‘Kent State?’ Although, I can’t imagine any of this taking place on a university campus. Krispy Kreme parking lot perhaps? And what about their own version of The Weathermen? The Frito Eaters?

Of course, proper society (like us) will sit back and mock their silly ideals. And rightfully so, I say. Meanwhile, the youth will do something genuinely novel again, and leave us all behind. Hopefully.

kdaddy July 22, 2009 at 3:35 pm

I’ll start worrying when “Cheeto-Juice”(un-naturally fortified with Exxon fat globules) outpaces
Budweiser as our National Calmative. Until then, summer rages on and our STP(smooth talkin Pres)
will quell the feverish wing-blather regressives with capitol hill moon-walking.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=368181]azw88[/re]: Apparently they want Hillary as their Furher.

AnnieGetYourFun July 22, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Ah, it wouldn’t be a Layne post if there wasn’t some fatty hatin’.

The Cold Sea July 22, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Can’t these people just like go live off the grid somewhere? We won’t come get them. Promise. They can have their own flag and all the FREEDOMS they want.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=368093]IceIceBaby[/re]: And they never seem to know that the Founders were dismissive of religion. Or downright hostile, as in Saint Jefferson’s case.

Cape Clod July 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=368132]Noonan[/re]: “He was born in Virginia though. I was sorta bummed to learn that he didn’t come from foggy London Towne.”

Aha! But at that time, Virginia wasn’t a part of the United States! And he would have had an English birth certificate! Dig that limey fucker up from under that pointy statue on the Mall and toss his corpse into the Potomic!

facehead July 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Did Bill Kristol kill Biggie?

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=368149]ManchuCandidate[/re]: too funny!

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm

correction: H-Rod

S.Luggo July 22, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=368149]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Win.

Minnie Mean July 22, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=368119]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: jejeje – never heard of Texas being referred to as “down there” before. I thought “down there” was where girls were groped during summer bible camp.
In any case, yes – do send the wingnut brigade to Texas. It’s the hottest summer on record and they would all melt into a giant pool of tardbutter. Perhaps the molten remains could be turned into some kind of alternate fuel with which to power the engines of socialism. Power to the people indeed!

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=368162]smartypants[/re]: They’re afraid their Acorn administered medic-trooper will prescribe instant euthanasia for anyone found during an eye examination with “FOX NEWS CHANNEL” faintly burned into their retinas.

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=368187]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: wonder if she has that ‘little mustache trim’ down there..
(I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about that)

tootsieroll July 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm

I haz a sad over all the “Ye-Haw let’s bring ‘r gunz! OUT OF MY DEAD HANDS!!!”

What if it gets ugly, and ends in Freeper deaths? You know they can spin it to look like martyrs and end up with more nutjobs signing on. Glenn Beck will be blowing a vein over it. They are scary. Have you read the comments about Prof gates? Probably 80% bigots crying how “blacks always play the race card.” Please assure me that they are really only %25 of the population. Even that seems too high for comfort.

Accordion-o-rama July 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm

If we could get millions of wingnutz to post on Free Republic, what would we do?

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 3:43 pm

[re=368188]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Ken probably caught Cavuto last night:

No chubbies, indeed.

Bearbloke July 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=368158]S.Luggo[/re]: U-S-OINK! U-S-OINK!

johnnypantalones July 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Oh dudes do you know what this means? Waco II: Electric Boogaloo is now in pre-production! This is going to be so much fun what with all the enhanced special interrogation effects that have been invented since the last Waco. It’s too bad they can’t bring back the original cast but the new cast should be able to hold my attention while they are gunned down by National Guardsmen with M16s as they feebly try to unjam their shitty AK-47s they got for free when they bought that F-150 from Honest Tex.

I just hope they don’t try to tack on some lame romantic sub-plot or edit it like they did Ruby Ridge, it just takes all the spectacle out of it.

I hope the feds call in Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, those guys are really good at producing wide-screen carnage so we get the most bang for our buck.

NoWireHangers July 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm

If we could get millions of Americans to march on Washington, what would we do?

That’s a big If. Probably better to figure out how to get millions of Americans to march on Washington first.

Car Ramrod July 22, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=368103]x111e7thst[/re]: They have guns true…

Republicans aren’t the only ones with guns. They’re just the ones waving them about like cute little Harry Potter wands, getting together with their latently gay friends, and pretending their firearms imbue special magical powers on the owner.

InsidiousTuna July 22, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=368053]DirkLeisure[/re]: Pellet guns should work just fine.

LittlePig July 22, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=368179]S.Luggo[/re]: “U.S. Senators will be elected … by the various state legislatures.”

Hells yeah! The representatives will have representatives – it’ll be like Representation Squared!

Seriously, with that “like Germany in the 30′s” bit, it makes you wonder if the poor dumb sumbitches can even read what they write.

Hail Hillary!

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=368206]NoWireHangers[/re]: A crapload of hoverounds and hot dog vendors would be a good start, if we’re talking freepers.

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Other BIG IF is IF they can read a map and actually find Washington DC, not Washington State.

Tommmcatt July 22, 2009 at 3:48 pm


You forgot about the difficulty in moving the massive amounts of Cheetos this movement requires to the DC area. This will doom them at the outset.

Extemporanus July 22, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=368136]intellijen[/re]: No, “car-bombing the hip hop” is more like “ghost-riding the whip”, something we developed here in California in an effort to speed-up natural selection.

CaliforniaMike July 22, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Can we just give these people North and South Dakota and put a big fence up around the border? Or maybe we can buy the Yukon Territory from Canada and move them all there?

Otherwise there is going to come a day when we have to take these people’s talk radio away from them and let them live in the tubes of the Interwebs.

Victor Von Doom PhD July 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm

What I like about these *birther* types is that they make me look sane…

CaliforniaMike July 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm

[re=368074]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: George is of course dead, unless you mean the black Vegas comedian. Either way, I like the way you think.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 3:50 pm

[re=368188]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Was this you?
“There is much to do before a march on Washington, Jim….
Are you sure you want my list of those tactics? They require a good deal of underground organization, and they will require men/women of strong will. In other words, it takes people willing to BE THE RESISTANCE. I fear the worst about us – that we may have lost our ability to resist.”

blader July 22, 2009 at 3:50 pm

When in doubt, copy and paste liberally from the koran, urh, constitution

Cape Clod July 22, 2009 at 3:51 pm

[re=368088]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “these freepers make me want to fucking hunt them down and stuff a copy of a Joseph Ellis book–or even McCullough–down their fucking throats until they fucking choke on the history of the country they know absolutely fucking nothing about.”

Sounds like a waste of some rather good books, but then again, it is probably the only way these fucking idiots would draw any instruction from them.

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2009 at 3:52 pm

No sale. There isn’t enough Cheetos to lure them up there. Plus the Yukon is actually resource rich and somewhat useful.

Cape Clod July 22, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=368206]NoWireHangers[/re]: They couldn’t get a quarter of that amount to show up for their teabagger protests where they were simply required to do nothing more than go to the center of their local town.

snideinplainsight July 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Who is going to play a little wooden fife? You can’t have a tea party revolution without the fiffery?

Where are the fiffers? There should be fiffing. Oh never mind, they’re here -

Gopherit July 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=368201]tootsieroll[/re]: To be fair, you’d end up with Freeper deaths on half-price night at Golden Corral, too.

FMA July 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=368205]johnnypantalones[/re]: Nah. If you want big and stupid with homoerotic sub-themes, you have to go with Michael Bay.

Diamante July 22, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Do not like FR. Been there. Read it. Man, those people are boring.

facehead July 22, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=368086]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: DARES A REBLUTION IN MA SHORTS AND EBBYBODY BE CUMMMIN!

inedalo July 22, 2009 at 4:00 pm

socialism in usa, is that what those lunatics are afraid of? well, if they come to DC they will soon learn that all those congressmen (congresspeople?) get a great socialized medical health plan that any US citizen would love to have.
hey, how come they can get socialized medicine and we can’t have it?
answer- because of all them dummies like those freepers who are scared of the word “socialism.”

NYNYNY July 22, 2009 at 4:00 pm

[re=368045]Noonan[/re]: this is not an RPG

germansteel July 22, 2009 at 4:01 pm

You’ll recognize them by their cheetos-stained fingers, beady eyes, gap-toothed offspring, and 100,000 Old Milwaukee-beer-can guts hanging over cheap sweatpants. And, that’s the womenz.

snideinplainsight July 22, 2009 at 4:02 pm

And someone needs to wear a bandage on their head! Maybe that could be Our Lady Sarah, to symbolize her MSM victimization!

phineas_bounderby July 22, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Everytime I think the Freepers have really jumped the shark, they make an even zanier plunge over the holding tank. But I think they’ve outdone themselves with this one. I wonder if all the attention generated by the recent outburst of racist yammering has finally caused Jim R. to drop the half hearted wingnut lunacy, and go totally chipmunk-on-meth crazy.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 4:02 pm

The guy who wrote the article wrote this:
“Yup. We can’t lose with Hillary on board. Certainly don’t want the Speaker of the House. Besides, Hillary is twice the man that Obama is.”

I…I…er… I got nothing.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[re=368209]LittlePig[/re]: Oddly enough, I’m listening to a couple of my brilliant (my view) bizarre (the world’s view) mix tapes and “Springtime for Hitler” is playing. I heartily recommend it as a soundtrack for the reading of Freeper.

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2009 at 4:05 pm

PUMAs, Freepers, KKK, an asshole by any other name would be as assholish?

artbot2000 July 22, 2009 at 4:06 pm

You get into shouting matches at a shooting range? Damn, people talk about living on the edge,
but not like that.

Capricatony July 22, 2009 at 4:09 pm

We shouldn’t underestimate the power of small crowds armed and on meth.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 4:10 pm

“I think what is better his a “marshalling of forces” in the form of a “national militia”. A full time paramilitary organization that had both full-time and part-time participants, including its own internal “court system” and intelligence apparatus. An organization that trains and plans on both the tactical and strategic level, while constructively engaging the US military whenever and where ever possible.”

You mean like AL QAEDA, right?

inedalo July 22, 2009 at 4:10 pm

if those freeper idjits ever make it to DC, they will be surprised to see that the population of our capital city is primarily US citizens of a darker hue. that will be enough to scare them run back to their lily-white constituencies where they can spend the following week recovering by getting glued to FoxNews, ranting on and on.

pdiddycornchips July 22, 2009 at 4:12 pm


off topic but Carville had the best one liner of the Hilz/Hopey campaign.

“If she gave him one of her balls they’d both have two”

DemmeFatale July 22, 2009 at 4:15 pm

The FBI knows about this, right?

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Or the militia movements of the 90s.

The funniest would be the “intelligence” part. Hard to be James Fatty Bond when I doubt most of them never left their state or even home towns. A fat white old guy in skin tight camo trackpants and hunting vest carrying binoculars, a walkie talkie while driving a beat up old Dodge pickup truck covered with NRA stickers and an US America flag painted on the rusting tailgate in NYC would seem just a bit out of place, no?

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=368252]DemmeFatale[/re]: Dead gods I hope so.
This is seriously some scary crazyness. I mean, they actually want to be like Al Qaeda and overthrow the government.
And they seem to think the military is just chock full of men and women who just can’t wait to commit treason against a country they swore to protect with their lives.

imissopus July 22, 2009 at 4:20 pm

“The Secretary of State shall immediately assume the office of interim Chief Executive”

That’s how far around the bend these people have gone, that they want a coup that would put both Hillary and Bill back in the White House. Remarkable.

There’s that weird thudding noise again, as if every FBI and Secret Service agent in American just smacked his head against his desktop.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=368254]ManchuCandidate[/re]: or better yet, the Stars & Bars painted on said rusting tailgate.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=368217]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Thank you, thank you, thank you for not offering up Okrahoma. Alaska must have a place for them.

Monsieur Grumpe July 22, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Someone watched Red Dawn one too many times.

WendyK July 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm

If they actually do show up to DC, this is going to be such a boon for the tranny hooker industry. All those Freepers in one place? There won’t be enough short skirts and long dicks to go around.

Woodwards Friend July 22, 2009 at 4:27 pm

So according to their plan Hillary Clinton becomes president? Clinton-Palin 2012!

pdiddycornchips July 22, 2009 at 4:28 pm


Wingnutz hate the Clintons even more than Hopey’s army of zombies do.

nader paul kucinich gravel July 22, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Conflate AIPAC’s Israel-first Neocon Freepers & their devotion to the Government 9/11 cover-up with Dr Ron?!

Sussemilch July 22, 2009 at 4:31 pm

[re=368156]L33tminion[/re]: Exactly what I was thinking.

Remember folks, don’t drink and ‘net.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm

“The ultimate response is civil war, and the only recourse that is left when those who have appointed themselves the powers of God to tax and spend as they wish refuse to step down peacefully.”

I am THIS close to calling my local FBI field office.

snideinplainsight July 22, 2009 at 4:34 pm

[re=368261]WendyK[/re]: You’re way overestimating them (or mistaking them for GOP congressmen). They’re going to buy pretzels and hot dogs from the street vendors and then go home.

DirkLeisure July 22, 2009 at 4:36 pm

[re=368208]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Good idea. I’m sure Lockheed can provide them for $20 million a pop, plus $1 million per pellet. They should be ready to deploy in 15-20 years.

19kevin8 July 22, 2009 at 4:37 pm

They don’t need computer tables, they just recline on their recliners, with their laptops on their gut.

ThePuckStopsHere July 22, 2009 at 4:38 pm

We hereby repeal the 17th amendment.

There you have it. What part of “we” do you people not get?

imissopus July 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=368257]imissopus[/re]: That should be “every FBI and Secret Service agent in America”. Why Wonkette comments box no have some sort of grammar check funkshun?

twowheeljunkie July 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm

The signers of the DOI pledge their Lives, Fortunes and sacred Honor.

Those asshole have none of the above.

torera July 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm

So whatever happened to the laws against espousing overthrow of the legally constituted government of the United States of America?? Time was as I recall (and I’m not THAT ancient) that such talk would get you arrested. (See Chicago Seven.) If it was serious enough to merit a trial, the penalty ran from penitentiary all the way to execution (see Rosenberg, Ethel). Maybe I wouldn’t really like to go back to the days when loyalty oaths were required of teachers and sundry other citizens (see McCarthy, Senator Joseph)– and I really do remember those days — but things seem to be getting out of hand here. When are we going to have a website that exposes some of the funders of these fuckers so we can get some boycotts going?

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 4:40 pm

[re=368259]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Oklahoma would actually be a very good choice, seeing how it is the ONLY state that EVERY FUCKIN COUNTY went red! Seriously, how much more redneck can you get than that??!. If it weren’t for the fact that OK is located mid-country, thus making it a little harder to fence off, I’d say make it Freeper-Land.

4tehlulz July 22, 2009 at 4:43 pm

[re=368275]azw88[/re]: Appropriate; they can make Timothy McVeigh their founding father.

choom gangster July 22, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Attention liberals: this is why you need to stop being afraid of guns.

El Pinche July 22, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=368239]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: I love the smell of PUMA in the morning.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 4:47 pm

[re=368275]azw88[/re]: They have Kansas Syndrom: Poor farmers support the rich technocrats that run the Agrobiznass Conglomerates which force them off their own land.

trondant July 22, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Just to fuck with them, we should tell them that Lon Horiuchi will be waiting for them at the top of the Washington Monument.

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm

[re=368088]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Nice idea to let the freepers know about John Adams. But they don’t have the attention span even for the DVD. No automatic weapons. No Ted Nugent soundtrack. No boobies.

[re=368108]Noonan[/re]: Actually, Washington himself didn’t weigh a ton, it was those wooden teeth. Those suckers are heavy.

[re=368138]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: “Is this what happens when you take the ‘arts’ out of public schools?” No, this is what happens when you remove funding to test for special needs. All the arts in the world, much as I love them, won’t help that.

[re=368220]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: “…we may have lost our ability to resist.” Hell, they lost their ability to change a channel without a remote.

Finally, I would like to thank the freepers for the most amusing thread we’ve had on HuffPost for weeks.

Crow T. Robot July 22, 2009 at 4:51 pm

I hope they don’t forget to clean up the tree house when they’re done with their little meeting.

Capricatony July 22, 2009 at 4:53 pm

[re=368275]azw88[/re]: I was gonna try and defend my home state until I realized there’s a reason I never venture more than 10 miles beyond my downtown area.

canadians for pussy July 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm

Send em all to east texas, i have never seen a bigger shit hole and i have seen many shitholes.
just keep them the fuck away from Canada.

Capricatony July 22, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=368278]choom gangster[/re]: Yeah why would anyone be afraid of something that can cause your head to explode… in the hands of paranoid delusionals.

jodyleek July 22, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=368278]choom gangster[/re]: Thank god my dad’s a gunsmith. A gunsmith who rejects the NRA, mind you. So, no AK47 for me…I’ll have to pack a musket. Suck on my powder horn, freepers! Say hello to my olde timey friend.

Limeylizzie July 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Oh the poor obese Freepers are upset by the constant remarks about Meg McCain as “fat-assed “by their fellow loons and birthers.

“I love F.R. and sometimes donate to it. I mostly agree with posters.
I just can’t understand why you use fat like a curse word.
Do you want us fat people to stay off here and when we donate is our money not as good as yours? Are you smarter than we are?
I have been a conservative fighter since I worked for Jessie Helmns.Many of us were fat then but boy we had a great conservative party.
Do you know who Carter Wrenn is?
Could it be if the consrvatives went out and got them some good meals of meat and potatoes along with biscuits and gravy maybe they would have more common sense to solve problems than just calling people names…
After this letter you can call me names ,I am to old and beat up by liberals to care what you call me LOL”


WhatTheHeck July 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm

I’m sure the govnmint would like to lock up these yahoos, but this being the U.S. in a time of recession, we are kinda short on bunk beds for the criminally insane.

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=368276]4tehlulz[/re]: Not Founding Father, Blessed Saint! I say we send a few more freepers to sainthood.

Mahousu July 22, 2009 at 5:08 pm

So, if the Freepers do march on DC, should we locals rent out our houses to them for thousands of dollars? That worked pretty well for Obama’s inauguration (except for the part about getting thousands of dollars).

Tommmcatt July 22, 2009 at 5:09 pm


That makes me cry in my heart for all fatties, everywhere. I am with you now, Mr. Huckabee, and I am with you always.

Humpback July 22, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Ya know, if they could get a million people to march on Washington for these ideas, or even to sign a petition for this, why that would be almost three-tenths of one percent of all Americans.

bamaboy July 22, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Ever hear of the Bonus Army? WWI vets wanted thier bonuses early and marched on Washing during the Great Depression.

They were no match for the real army and George Patton.

Maybe we should encourage these assholes.

facehead July 22, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Wow, more than 800 responses [INVEST IN LIPTON!!!!]

I found this:

To: JustAmy
I suggest that we report anyone, including FReepers, that show up with guns. This is not acceptable!

Uh….excuse me. My 2A rights are not negotiable.

806 posted on Monday, July 20, 2009 10:24:45 PM by Sarajevo (You jealous because the voices only talk to me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 795 | View Replies];page=801

liquiddaddy July 22, 2009 at 5:21 pm

[re=368158]S.Luggo[/re]: I’m rich! Anybody got change for a slab of bacon?

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=368294]WhatTheHeck[/re]: I say tell themy they won, dope up their victory champagne, and drop them off in their dreamland where there are no taxes, no government interference and every carries a gun: SOMALIA. (well, perfect in every regard for them except the overabundance of BLACK PEOPLE)

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=368275]azw88[/re]: ” If it weren’t for the fact that OK is located mid-country, thus making it a little harder to fence off, I’d say make it Freeper-Land.”

Shame-faced as I am to admit it, out here in the sticks I’m afraid it already is.

Bearbloke July 22, 2009 at 5:47 pm

[re=368287]jodyleek[/re]: Is there an organization in America for gun-owners who think the NRA are a bunch of fascist loons?

Fox n Fiends July 22, 2009 at 5:49 pm

if you removed “government” and replaced it with “corporations” it would be a much more accurate rant.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=368276]4tehlulz[/re]: “imothy McVeigh their founding father.”

I’m always astonished that the rhetoric that comes out of the mouths of Spooky Doktor Tom Coburn and Inhofe sounds like McVeigh. Scary, really. These morons revile the president and George Soros and ACORN far more than they ever did McVeigh.

DeathOfIrony July 22, 2009 at 5:57 pm

LOL, all the latent Red Dawn fantasies about fighting teh Cubans alongside Patrick Swayze have finally re-emerged in full blossom.

I have to admit it’s probably a pretty fun time to be a nutter, it’s probably close to the summer of love, substituting pork rinds for LSD and Lee Greenwood for Jimi Hendrix. Like Bob Marley said in 3:00 Roadblock…

“Hey Mr. Cop, I ain’t got no birf cerfiticate in me now”

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 5:57 pm

The future here, only it ain’t Soylent Green that is made from people, it’s your Big Mac!

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Special Sauce is MADE of PEOPLE!!!!!

Cylon Model 6 July 22, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=368155]lobo2009[/re]: You kidding? Washington would have called in the army to put them down. Would have probably let them go once he stopped them though:
“Washington, however, pardoned them on the grounds that one was a “simpleton,” and the other, “insane.”"

azw88 July 22, 2009 at 6:25 pm

[re=368358]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Glad I got that southern fried chicken sandwich for lunch today…. oh, NO! maybe those WEREN’T pickles on my sandwich!!!!

BadKitty July 22, 2009 at 6:33 pm

About a year ago I was saying that watching the whackos’ heads explode when the black guy won would be hella fun. Now they’re just freaking me out.

At what point does the FBI pay attention to this shit? Someone tell me we have reached that point.

johnnypantalones July 22, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Oh man, I can’t wait to see the real army staffed with lots of them negroes and Lah-teenoes open up on these dipshits and their little militia. Isn’t it great when people who don’t believe in evolution Darwin themselves out of existence?

God, the eventual CNN coverage of these guys getting blown into blood pudding by SWAT tanks is going to be so choice. I’m getting half a chub right now just thinking about it!

chascates July 22, 2009 at 6:40 pm

So grab your Commie-made SKS or AK47, that tin of Chinese made ammo, your camo wear from South America and join the ranks!
Due to the physical limitations and weight issues of the freepers the revolution will take a while and be mainly based near KFCs and Hardees.

schlock and flaws July 22, 2009 at 6:41 pm

[re=368143]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I wasted some brain cells at Free Republic reading the comments after I posted a pleasant remembrance of Cronkite there. (Me? Trolling? With a “Sarah Palin–one and only champion of the Iquitarod” sig line?) Apparently he was single-handedly responsible for the Edsel, New Coke, civil rights, Vietnam, Cambodia, and everything else that’s screwed up those poor little fundies heads since 1960.

I don’t think I want to visit their planet. It is an e-e-v-v-i-i-l-l-l place.

Roslin July 22, 2009 at 6:44 pm

Do they remember the last time a group of disgruntled rednecks tried to overthrow the legally elected government? The bit where we kicked the South’s ass? Or do they, like Margaret Mitchell and Granny Clampett, think the Confederacy won?

lawrenceofthedesert July 22, 2009 at 6:54 pm

Every nightlife strip has an old neighborhood guys’ bar where the intoxicated fossils ruminate on the dire directions that the young have taken. And now the Internet has one, too. Yawn.

Atlas Spanked July 22, 2009 at 7:08 pm

These retards don’t need health care reform because most of them are doddering Medicare monkeys anyway, flingin shit, screaming at their TVs, and hooting about socialized medicine.

I can’t wait for the revolution, it’s gonna be so sweet stomping on the 20 percenters.

Tactically, however, I recommend the South Park approach: Just padlock the Denny’s and wait for them to starve in the parking lot.

Cylon Model 6 July 22, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[i]I am THIS close to calling my local FBI field office. [/i]

Just read both posts. You probably should.

Officer Orifice July 22, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Their stupidity and coarseness are overwhelming. I frequently find myself wondering how these people even know how to fuck let alone procreate.

assistant/atlas July 22, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Um…..when did the Freepers go from totally hilarious to batshit-insane scary? Seriously, I hope someone has called the FBI, if for no other reason than to piss off the Freepers.

widget09 July 22, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Why just let them have a big teabagger convention on sept. 911!!!1. Tell them all to go to Worshington with fully loaded guns of all kinds. As concessions you could sell Dixie flags, beer, whiskey and firecrackers, plenty of them. Once a couple fircrackers goes off, you would certainly have to….return fire. The world’s IQ would increase dramatically.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 22, 2009 at 7:56 pm

[re=368387]schlock and flaws[/re]: I know. I found out from their comments that Cronkite single handily lost the Ted Offensive…., And I never knew that Ted Baxter served in Viet Nam.

NiceCleanLady July 22, 2009 at 8:05 pm

You know, it only takes one person–like Timothy McVeigh. It’s fun to talk about what idiots these people are, and I agree about most, but plenty horrible people in history weren’t idiots. Is there a point when this kind of talk becomes illegal–inciting hatred and violence? Christianity has a martyr culture as well. I don’t think America’s gun culture is about defense, especially not lately. Something is going to happen–it may not be big, but it will be sickening (like the church bomb in Alabama that killed children in the civil rights era, starting a backlash in the South), and that’s when people like Rupert Murdoch will step back and realize what they’ve been building. I don’t think he wants his viewers to start shooting. I can only imagine what the Fox News email files look like. There are regular sorts of people who work there and read those. Shepard Smith was frightened by what he saw. Someone needs to tamp down this false hysteria. 6 months into a progressive presidency and we are here? What will they be saying a year or two from now? Who’ll step up and be their leader? I’m from northeast Louisiana which overwhelmingly voted for David Duke when he ran for governor. My step-father is a gunsmith. I went to school with a chemist who was a Nazi. And now these people are buying more ammunition? Really. Someone has to get a handle on this.

Josh Hueco July 22, 2009 at 8:13 pm


I am so stealing that.

hobospacejunkie July 22, 2009 at 8:27 pm

[re=368387]schlock and flaws[/re]: Hey, I liked New Coke. I’d be happy if they brought it back & totally got rid of the supposed ‘classic’ formula. And if they made it with sugar.

Not much I can add to this long thread except to repeat for emphasis that any & all proclamations by the wingtards can be easily boiled down to the one simple phrase “get that ni**er out of the White House!” And I don’t believe that’s being hyperbolically reductionist. They (mostly) know they can’t say that so they say everything but that.

GreatOldOnesParty July 22, 2009 at 8:37 pm

[re=368429]NiceCleanLady[/re]: You underestimate the Mighty Murdoch. The entire FOX empire is built on sensationalism: “If it bleeds, it leads.” Expect them to exploit any national tragedy as they have in the past.

TeddyS July 22, 2009 at 8:51 pm

That screed was positively inspiring in the sweeping use of the language, the grand ideas, and the call for freedom from tyranny. Except that was nutz. Big time nutz. Howling at the moon nutz. I liked the part about the patriot who couldn’t find his reading glasses.

ForTheTurnstiles July 22, 2009 at 9:14 pm

[re=368429]NiceCleanLady[/re]: You think maybe someone ought to contact the FBI office in Fresno or wherever to take a good sniff at Free Republic? Somebody? Please?

tootsieroll July 22, 2009 at 9:18 pm

[re=368516]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: ITA. My first thought reading NiceCleanLady’s post was that, “Murdoch won’t give a shit. He’ll laugh all the way to the bank while denying any culpability.”

1dude July 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm

were any liberals this batshit insane in 2005??? I remember some bleating by some vermont libtards about seceding, but no one paid attention or took them seriously.

S.Luggo July 22, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=368204]Bearbloke[/re]: Hereafter, 10 porkrinds shall equal 1 Ron Paul Dollar, and two six-packs plus a gram of meth shall equal one Amero.
Free, free from the socialist/ACORN Federal Reserve System at last, dagnabbit.

Also, libtard sheeple, the first concealed AK-47 thru the door shall equal control of Congress. Wild times, wild times.

Limeylizzie July 22, 2009 at 9:52 pm


I already filled out a tip on the FBI’s website asking them to look into the Freepers and their dangerous lunacy and I truthfully didn’t feel as if I was overreacting.

That Evening Sun July 22, 2009 at 10:18 pm


S.Luggo July 22, 2009 at 10:44 pm

[re=368618]Limeylizzie[/re]: Not under your own name, i trust. Those FBI guys really can’t take a joke. They get so gosh-darn, old guy grumpy at anyone looking over their shoulder.

BTW: In the peak summer months, the accomodations at a FedMax prison are cut-rate. 23 hours to sleep under energy-saving flurescent lights and no damn defense lawyers to bother you.

lulzmonger July 22, 2009 at 10:52 pm

One if by cable, two if by dial-up?

LOL, looks to me like the Freepers are a tad late – Dubya already overthrew the USG, twice … & he STILL wound up leaving town like a whipped dog to a chorus of boos when it was all over. That was with total control of thousands of ICBMs & oodles of super-rich homies on his team, to boot. What are these genetic leftovers going to do to “Fight Teh Power” – freep the polls on

The Devolution WILL be televised.

agitpropster July 22, 2009 at 10:54 pm

“Liz Cheney – pampered brat-spawn of a criminal scumbag.”

Wow. They gettin’ Wonkette – snarky over at Salon tonight.

One Yield Regular July 22, 2009 at 10:59 pm

[re=368152]Mr Blifil[/re]: Awesome.

a_pink_poodle July 23, 2009 at 12:34 am

I take back everything I said about the left whining from the past 8 years! This is Advanced Whining for PhDs in Whining.

trondant July 23, 2009 at 12:47 am

I’m not even halfway through the comments there, but I don’t think any of them have remembered yet that their beloved Roberts, et alia, revoked the DC handgun ban last year. Obviously, the responsible thing to do is to spread a rumor among DC’ers that the Cracker Schizoid Army (CSA) is a’comin’, and urge them to prepare to defend their neighborhoods. What could possibly go wrong?

Gallowglass July 23, 2009 at 1:08 am

Is this the promised, deferred and long awaited Second Rising of the South? And they laughed when I dropped $1200 on that authentic Army of Northern Virginia uniform. “You don’t even go to re-enactments,” they said. “What the hell do you need a $300 CSA cavalry saber for?” they demanded. Won’t they be sorry when my snazzy gray threads net me a Colonelcy and they have to make do with being “camp-followers” or “Boot-blacks.” How exciting!

NiceCleanLady July 23, 2009 at 1:24 am

[re=368516]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Yeah, I know, but the Fox empire is television. Wide World of Sports was infamous for that ski guy falling down the mountain, breaking every bone in his body. Who thought we’d forget that, the most viewed, youtube-ist video of 20th century TV, you could say. Where’s that? Or forget boxing-who thought we’d forget that bleeding thing, or the Don King empire. It’s all relative. Nothing is forever. Rupert Murdoch is no Goliath. He’s an old guy who’s gonna die, and Fox News is an old people network, a dumb people network, and it’s no great shapeshifter. MTV? VH-1? Music labels? Napster, AOL TimeWarner? GM? Everything dies at some point, and gets judged.

Zorg July 23, 2009 at 1:55 am

[re=368119]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yes! Best idea ever!

hobospacejunkie July 23, 2009 at 4:36 am

[re=368686]Gallowglass[/re]: Hey, you just wrote that amusing story so you could use the word Colonelcy, show off.

[re=368690]NiceCleanLady[/re]: Or forget boxing-who thought we’d forget that bleeding thing

That bleeding thing? Details, please.

AngryAtheist July 23, 2009 at 7:09 am

I did something bad…Something I normally don’t do here…

Usually I take everyone’s word for it, but I had to see for myself…

I clicked on that F’ing link.

To think people like that are walking among us. Free to breed and vote…

dangbuddy July 23, 2009 at 9:17 am

* * R O U G H * * D R A F T * *

ARTICLE I: Each and every Amurkin shall drive a Ford F-150. Each shall be equipped with Truck Nutz and a disabled FM dial.
ARTICLE II: Every Amurkin one-man-one-woman McFamily shall dine at McDonald’s minimum once per day, unless McDonald’s gets too friendly with the homofaggots like they did that one time, in which case each and every McDonald’s shall be razed to the ground in the name of White Jesus and replaced with Chick-Fil-A or Country Kitchen.
ARTICLE III: Nobama shall be retained as our National Jester, in which capacity he shall be made to wear a chicken suit and dance atop the bodies of uninsured minorities at the pleasure of His Holiness, Emperor Ron Paul.
ARTICLE IV: Also no taxes.

worrierqueen July 23, 2009 at 12:46 pm

“Debout, les damnés de la terre…”

Whoops sorry, wrong song

“Oh Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign
Your children have waited to see…”

Cylon Model 6 July 23, 2009 at 2:10 pm

[re=368618]Limeylizzie[/re]: You read both posts too? I was laughing until I read both in full. Its not funny anymore.

I need a laugh… lets see: trucknutz, baconnaise, blueberry pancakes and sausage on a stick, giant bag of dicks in pancakes on a stick… almost there.

Cylon Model 6 July 23, 2009 at 2:33 pm

[re=368723]dangbuddy[/re]: They had me at FILL YOUR HANDS YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!!

dangbuddy July 23, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=369114]Cylon Model 6[/re]: barf

Sexual Harrassment Panda July 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Grumpy, thank god for you. I have so many Conservitard friends that worship Atlas Shrugged (these are absolute dumbfucks who also worship Beck and Levin and Coulter) and thank god someone else sees how insane and stupid it would be.

Sexual Harrassment Panda July 25, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=368609]1dude[/re]: Frankly seceding is the only sane thing anyone has said in Congress since i’ve been alive.

Sexual Harrassment Panda July 25, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Frankly WoW’s message boards are not full of fantasy anything. The majority are dedicated to the game and its broken mechanics. People who post on them, or did post on them, like me, are infinitely more sane than the people we ridicule on this site/everywhere.

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