Wonkette
So we did a midsummer slow news day’s Wonk’d yesterday and what do you know, another billion Wonk’d sightings arrived in out Tips Box this morning. It’s like you people can be easily manipulated by suggestion. “Here are some Wonkette readers sending us Wonk’d items … this means you must do the same, reader.” And it works! (Next time we’ll subliminally make you do something vulgar in the Reflecting Pool.) Anyway, enjoy these eyewitness reports of Maria Shriver, Ralph Nader, Rahm Emanuel and Others doing whatever it is they do, in Washington!
Okay this is where you should actually pay attention: We love your Wonk’d sightings, but you must put WONK’D in the subject line of the email, or we lose these forever. This is why we are doing another Wonk’d right now, because otherwise this batch of sightings with no WONK’D in the subject line would be quickly buried in the daily avalanche of email in the Tips Jar.
- Crossed paths with Ralph Nader today at 18th&R with what appeared to be an MSNBC goody bag in hand. Likely just wrapped up a long day’s worth of crazy talk as he looked like he had recently untucked his dress shirt.
- I just saw Maria Shriver at the corner of 23rd and M in front of the Ritz Carlton. She looked pretty hot and was shorter than I expected. She was with some shaven-headed semi-hipster guy (not Arnold) who I assumed was her personal assistant. I made eye contact a few times and she gave a polite smile. She headed down the street before I could get my iPhone out for a pic. I was kind of surprised at how good looking she was in person. Man, she was hot.
- I have seen George Will twice sitting at the same outdoor table at Furin’s in Georgetown in the past few weeks. Both times he looked as if he was working away on some screed about blue jeans. A friend asked if he ordered the bowtie salad.
- Saw Rahm Emanuel last Thursday during intermission at King Lear at the Shakespeare Theater. Way up in the nosebleeds, apparently. Chatted, phoned, and gamely posed for photos before seemingly leaving during intermission.
- I saw James Carville walk out of a bathroom at BWI airport a few weeks ago. I was so excited that it stunned me and I couldn’t get his autograph.
- Saw Helen Thomas being helped out of a car and into Mama Ayesha’s on Calvert Street (Friday 7/17, around 7pm). She seemed to require assistance to walk and was looking pretty frail.
PS — I have lived in DC for a year and a half and this is my first celebrity sighting. The person I was with had no idea who she was. Le sigh. - I live near Howard university and ride my pedal bike to the Pentagon every day for work. Randomly during the week, I bike right past SECDEF Robert Gates tending to his morning jog with his security detail. He seams to have a penchant for jogging around the monuments, I always see him between the WW2 and Lincoln memorials. Though I have never called out his name (for fear of being dragged into the minivan and given the Taliban treatment by his detail), his height, hair, and face match. And he is the only jogger around being trailed by both a jogger with an earpiece and a minivan. I used to see Rumsfeld playing racquetball at the pentagon gym all the time too, but who gives a crap about that guy. Rummy was short … like surprisingly tom cruise short, always way shorter than those playing him. I wonder if he ever lost!
- I was sitting very near to David Gregory at the Nationals-Cubs game on Saturday night. Gregory was sitting with Bo Blair, the awful, but prodigious force behind the Smith Point, Jetties, Rookery, Surfside cabal. They seemed to be enjoying one another’s company, which really lowered my opinion of David Gregory.
- I was eating lunch at Port of Pireaus on M and 21st when a hot looking intern or young staffer type was looking for a seat. I offered her a spot at my table. She then signaled for the guy she was with to sit with us. It was Bob Schieffer, who gets cockblocked by the host of Face the Nation?
- On an afternoon flight from Atlanta to National yesterday (July 20th), I was on a plane with former Sen. Max Cleland and current Rep. Lynn Westmoreland. Cleland was waiting on the skyway for others to board and was very receptive to a number of passengers who spoke with him while waiting to board. Seemed like a genuinely nice guy. It always pissed me off that loudmouth chickenhawk Saxby Chambliss had the nerve to question Cleland’s patriotism and equated him with Bin Laden and Saddam in 2002. Not much to say about Westmoreland, except that he dropped his blackberry and would have lost it, had a nice woman not found it and handed it back to him. I probably would have kicked it further under a seat, so he’s lucky she saw it first.
- Worthless DC “Celebrity” sighting: A couple weeks ago I saw Michelle Rhee walking out of the Busboys at 5th & K holding hands (!) with Sacramento mayor and former baller Kevin Johnson. Is it widely know they’re in a relationship?
Thanks to “Patrick,” “Bypartizoa,” “January,” “Josh,” “Dylan,” “Julie,” “Mike,” “Dan,” “Ryan,” “Jon” and “Ben” for the sighting reports! Seen somebody “famous for DC” wandering about town? Send your report to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line WONK’D.
How gauche. That’s why God created Newport and Palm Beach.
I would probably feel sorry for Max Cleland but I hope & trust he is using his time out of govt to become stinkin’ rich. If anyone deserves it, Max Cleland does.
George Will seems like the type of guy who doesn’t go outside the Beltway because if he did he would melt.
I think we should become for the Republicans what TMZ is for movie stars. It’s our civic duty.
Next time we’ll subliminally make you do something vulgar in the Reflecting Pool.
I thought Wilbur Mills (and the original Argentine Firecracker) pretty much owned that schtick. Oh, wait, that was the Tidal Basin…pool’s still open!
I done sawr Rum Enamel on mah magic picture computer box at Jiffy Lube! Now give me mah money, Wonkers!
hobospacejunkie: I saw Rahm’s finger at Subway yesterday.
I’m eating lunch at Pho Hoa today—I’ll let you know if see Cleland.
CuntryFirst: He’s built an underground tunnel from his lair at the Post to McLean, so that when he must leave the Beltway, he’s never exposed to Commoners.
Extemporanus: Boy, when they say you can get anything you want on a Subway sandwich they ain’t kiddin’!
Extemporanus: Estas jugando con fuego, chamaco/a…cuidate.
Noonan: Ha, you should know, Peggy!
Got to wonder why anybody’d want Carville’s autograph. Don’t you get enough of him on Sunday mornings?
Snarkalicious: Fuck that. I don’t want to see crotch shots of politicians getting out of their cars.
I’d like to see Rumsfeld in the International Criminal Court.
Hey editors, can you do a post about how my boyfriend needs to get stoned and let me buttseks him? It’s been a while….
user-of-owls: Don’t I know it! I lost an ‘I’ submitting that comment.
On a slightly related note, I attended Second City’s Barack Stars last night, and it was fantastic. If you’re in DC, you’ve gotta go. It’s excellent.
Maria Shriver was a gorgeous woman before she got so darn skinny.
I never see anyone famous- unless it is a parade or a planned event. My life haz a sad.
InsidiousTuna: thanks-looking for something for Saturday night.
finallyhappy: It’s excellent. Buy tickets now, as last night it was a full house and we had to fight for decent standing-room tickets. On a Tuesday.
Sorry but actual DC politicians don’t count. We’re supposed to see those guys, it’s their jobs. Hell, even I have my local ward councilperson’s cell phone #. Who care, unless they’re Marion Barry .. or they’re doing something really funny and/or stupid like getting into brawls at tatoo parlors.
Rhee and Kevin Johnson? Isn’t that a HugeTiny alliance?
Terry:
The Shriver women, they get like that. Look at Eunice.
I’m surprised Unicorn Sparkle Ponies “mom jeans” haven’t made George Will start hunting D.C. pedestrians in a sports car.
Tommmcatt:
…and Arnie might just be able to drive a strong woman to anorexia, too.
I am still waiting to report a sighting of Rahm Emanuel in my bed. Until then, nothing else matters.
My mom once waited on Jim Traficant. The restaurant she worked at attracted all the lovelies from Youngstown (mob guys back in the 90s). Does that count?
Terry: I thought she’d look all scarecrowy but she just looked a tad on the thin side in person. A lot hotter than I expected. I kept looking over at her and she finally gave me a “Yes, it’s me, nimrod” sort of look as politely as she could.
So the camera TAKES away 40 lbs from her? How’d Maria manage that?
The Rhee relationship has been reported, nationwide, dozens of times. Yes, it’s widely known. Why “crazy talk” with Ralph Nader? He’s the person you’d least expect to be spouting “crazy talk”–actually, most of what Ralph Nader says makes a lot of sense. He’s a very, very educated and intelligent man. He’s not a target! George Will, however, is a target, as he’s a moron, so the comments trashing him were excellent. He’s an idiot.
too bad the first Wonk’d’ contributor yesterday didn’t leave a date. Here’s betting that Craig Crawford and Helen Thomas were together at Mama Ayesha’s. The book is already at the printer so it must have been a social call. When you’re 50-something, round and pasty, even Helen Thomas can be a cougar.
I never see anyone but then I live where no one would want to be, so forget it.
did rahm leave before or after the blinding???? this is important.
well, no not really, but i’m curious.
I saw Katherine Harris dancing with the devil at Dupont Circle. I saw Orange-American John Boehner having carnal relations with a little green man in Rock Creek Park. I saw Bill Clinton trolling Howard sorority house I-Phelta-Thigh.
Oh, I saw Mary-Kate Olson leaving Michael Jackson’s house the day he ascended. Also.
I saw your male associate editor at various grocery stores in southeast. He is very particular about his wraps.