Wonkette
America’s favorite orange-skinned reformed bachelor, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, is a pretty OK guy stuck with the unenviable task of governing a drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons. But now Crist has chosen to act like something of a dick to nice Sonia Sotomayor, for whom he would not vote if he were a senator due to her maybe being wishy-washy on the Second Amendment — which is Governor Crists’s favorite amendment of all.
Without warning, Crist took a stand on her nomination on a day when he had no public appearances scheduled. “I have strong concerns that Judge Sotomayor would not strictly and objectively construe the Constitution and lacks respect for the fundamental right to keep and bear arms,” Crist said.
If you’re running for the US Senate in a heavily Hispanic state, why would you not support a Hispanic Supreme Court candidate? Because your primary opponent, who has already unfairly “played the race card” by being Hispanic, is more of a threat than you’d like and you have to pretend that you are equally conservative.
So now Crist has to say that, just like Marco Rubio, he does not care for this Sotomayor character. And he will have to hope that people remember this principled belief of his right up until primary day and not a day after that.
Gov. Charlie Crist says he opposes Sonia Sotomayor [Miami Herald]
Good luck with that whole coming out of the closet thing.
The last poll I saw on the Crist / Rubio primary showed that among people who had heard of Rubio the two were running neck and neck. But there were only about 200 people who had heard of Rubio. Still, that was a while ago.
Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts!
Crist wept.
Mario is cuter. Charlie must HATE that!
really, he was just needs - I mean - wants another man on his court.
Brilliant.
His views are irrelevant since he is not one of the select 100 who must advise and consent. Even if elected Sonia will have been confirmed and, if the longevity of her mother is any indication, will be a member of the Supreme Court long after Crist has gone to that great spray-on tanning booth in the sky.
These people are amazing in their own completely retarded ways.
I’ll tell you how Crist can win the Senate seat: Bring Back the ‘Stache. Bring Back the ‘Stache. I would move to Florida just to be closer to that Magnum (and I do mean Magnum) P.I. sexy-timer.
He was expecting a Guy’s Latino.
Well, given the disdain the Cubans have for all other latinos, and how everybody in that insane state has orgasms over guns, this is a pretty safe political play.
cal: Oops, Marco. Sorry Marco, call me!
Balls.
Whereas California is an under-stimulated land-vagina. Florida, you’re always such a disappointment.
I’m starting to like this primary system — ideally the Republican ones will guarantee that whoever gets the party’s nod will be completely crazy unelectable.
Crist wants to endorse Rubio’s BALLS.
x111e7thst: Rubio and Crist necking? Quel scandale
Why the picture of Ron Jeremy?
Pride Week touch football is THE BEST!
The resemblance to Burt Reynolds, also an FSU fucktard, is amazing, and works on many levels.
donner_froh: Not surprising if you contemplate Crists expert demonsration of the wide stance in the photo.
Cape Clod: Gungasms.
Crist on a cracker, that guy’s a douchebag!
Would a Crist-Boehner love child use up all the rest of the orange on the entire planet?
Now if someone had nominated Ricky Martin, old Charlie Crisp would have been behind him. Er, backed, him. Supported him? Stuck up for him? Oh well I can’t think of anything that doesn’t sound a little gay. Sorry Charlie!
“a drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons”
Them’s fightin’ words, SKS.
Prommie: You’re next. I would like to point out that FOUR FSU fucktards from the MS program in Political management were instrumental to Obama’s election. One was his Florida campaign director (a state we won), another was a GOTV coordinator in Nevada (a state we won), another was the GOTV coordinator for Indianapolis (yours truly–also in a state we won), and yet another was playing with fire in Ohio (a state we won). YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA. Love, FSU.
The total crazy you have to bring to win a Republican primary any more is heading off into a new dimension. Why doesn’t Crist just get an AK-47 and a couple of bandoliers of bullets and start screaming, “Say ‘allo to my leetle friend!”
loquaciousmusic: You mean Crist on a Ritz?
Airborne Toxic Event: I guess that would be a Land-gina? Hmm. What with that, and the Floridian swamp-cock, the image of America fecking itself to death becomes so vivid. That both Florida and California would be instrumental in that process only makes sense.
SeminoleInDior:
How did they keep y’all away from the tailgating and keggers that long?
Way to pull a Romney there, Charlie. DIAF
SeminoleInDior: Good for you. You’re still on the hook for Katherine Harris and that racist school nickname… that somehow evaded the trail of tears and didn’t get stuck in Oklahoma.
Mapmonger: The best part is that California’s orifice is the central valley, which wishes Tom Delay would move there and run for governor. So what we’ve got is flaccid Florida fucking California while it is cross-dressing as Texas.
Yes, but what are the nice Puerto Rican lady’s views on not-gay pretend marriage?
SeminoleInDior: Yeah, but what have you FSU fucktards done for us lately?
x111e7thst: Larry Craig only wishes his stance could be so wide and welcoming. Although for Craig it was just wide enough to invite some mutual cock-gobbling in a toilet stall while Charlie’s is an obvious invitation to bend him over and lube him up.
Terry: Who said they did? I kept up with my college football in between screaming at volunteers to not incite social wars via telephone and door to door visits.
ForTheTurnstiles: Katherine Harris was long before my time. I wasn’t even in college then or interested in politics. I was more interested in makeup and cute boys. But, if it counts, I beat her in makeup application techniques, which was one of her more egregious inflictions on Florida’s citizenry.
hobospacejunkie: This is a very good question. When I am done grappling with Hizzoner Dick Daley, I’ll be sure to continue fighting the good fight.
Is that the strangest stance possible for a person about to throw a football?
If there was any question that Charlie was a Mary, this photo pretty much settles it. Fab-u-lous!
I actually had a chance to sleep with the intern that caused a bit of a kerfluffle with Charlena Crist but chose not to as said intern was just too sleazy, and that’s saying a lot as far as my tastes run. He did inform me of the good gay Gov’s sexual predilictions, and believe it or not, seems the Gov. is a top or at least vers! I always pegged him as a power bottom …
ForTheTurnstiles: Also, the Seminole Tribe of Florida loves FSU because we give them a shit ton of money every year, Florida pretty much lets them run the gambling industry in the state, AND they all get free tuition at FSU. Oh, and they aren’t on a reservation. They are still on their original land. We lurve the Seminole Nation. It’s not racist if they lobby the NCAA on your behalf, y’all.
Press releases like this make me remember why I hate politics.
SeminoleInDior: Jeesus, this is why I said “fucktard” to begin with. You’re still keeping score. Face it, Tallahassee is really a part of Alabama, all yer yelling ain’t gonna change it.
Prommie: Part of Georgia, actually. Your geography sucks.
SeminoleInDior: I am not sure I can resist commenting on you “grappling with Dick Daley”…
SeminoleInDior: I thought the Seminole Nation was still technically at war with US America?
Crank Tango: It makes me sad that you’re the only one that caught that.
Who knew that Freddy Mercury pledged Pi Kappa Alpha?
If you look closely, you can see a lone ball, dangling in the wind…
SeminoleInDior: Dick grappling is a required class for incoming freshman girls at FSU isn’t it?
SeminoleInDior: Okay, okay, I keed, I keed, lets call a truce. Its nothing to be ashamed of, most every state has an old Normal school that they started calling a “university” when the GI Bill kicked in.
grendel: I hate you. Grapple your own dick from now on.
CorkPopper: I believe they signed a peace treaty with the US, but it was one of the few times that it was signed as equals. The army couldn’t beat them.
SeminoleInDior: LOL You’re just mad that Crist scored more peen on that campus than you did
Cape Clod: That was back when Bowden was young and the SEC wasn’t as strong
SeminoleInDior: Keep fighting the good fight, comrade!
grendel: It would be a safe assumption that he still does. Mostly because I left campus years ago. Hey-o!
Cape Clod:
“…given the disdain the Cubans have for all other latinos…”
From what I’ve observed, Puerto Ricans seen to send that distain right on back at the Cubans. Don’t order a Cuba Libre outside of the tourist areas in San Juan.
Here we see Crist demonstrating how to throw a football while looking fabulous. It’s not as easy as it looks.
So we can either wait 10 years for most of Florida to be underwater from melting ice caps or embark on a job-producing 9-year program to cut through the state, setting it adrift, and seceding the fat east-west portions to the respective redneck states. Start sawing, motherfuckers!
I can’t help turning to this useful article every time some closeted Republican starts waxing on about guns:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28988
Prommie: Central Michigan Normal School and Business institute — now Central Michigan University, to name but one.
cal: Charlie doesn’t use Nair any more…he gets a Brazilian. A Brazilian boy that is, on alternating Thursdays when the wife’s at book club.
He’s being eaten by a sock-monster in that picture too!
If only the tanned gays and wise latinas could get along.
hobospacejunkie: UCLA was originally a Normal School. Really ironic that anything in SoCal would intentionally label itself as being merely normal.
Joshua Norton: FSU started off as a women’s college. Naturally, Charlie Crist chose it because of the availability of horny men flocking to the campus.
I don’t blame him, I wouldn’t vote for her either.
If you want to laugh and gag at this republican Lady GaGa parody :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPF9-o-YHGM
I wouldn’t recommend watching this after eating.
Maybe it wouldn’t be Greek to me if I were a wise Latina.
Aww, what am I saying. Fuck the fucking classics, and their silly fucking Play-Skool-looking letters and un-American monopoly on scientific words and money and shit! If they were so great, why are they a dead fucking language, hmm?!
Answer me that, Governor Cristopopoulusdopolous!
SeminoleInDior: Well I do have a residual 7th grade talent for seeing the dirty in everything. Some call it wishful thinking…
Good thing he’s not a senator, since that would really change the outcome of the confirmation vote.
He does know his state is full of Mexicans, doesn’t he? No? Fuck, this guy needs a new campaign manager, pronto.
He’s got some ’splainin’ to do.
Crank Tango: And who doesn’t wish to grapple with dick daily? I’d personally be a lot happier.
One dick per day maximum, please. No purchase necessary. See official rules for details.
Thank God they’re getting their messages straight.
********
http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/politics/dcblog/2009/07/charlie_crist_i_cant_support_s.html
July 21, 2009
• Gov. Charlie Crist, who has made diversity a hallmark of his own judicial philosophy, today came out against President Obama’s selection for the U.S. Supreme Court of Sonia Sotomayor, who would become the first Hispanic on the nation’s highest court.
• Crist is running for a U.S. Senate seat in 2010.
• …. “JUDGE SOTOMAYOR is worthy of respect for her many accomplishments and her remarkable story of success. However, I have strong concerns that Judge Sotomayor would not strictly and objectively construe the constitution and LACKS RESPECT FOR THE FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS. For these reasons, I cannot support her appointment to the highest court in the land.”
*****
http://kcpw.org/article/8080
July 21, 2009
Utah Senator Orrin Hatch hasn’t yet decided how he’ll vote next week when the Senate Judiciary Committee chooses whether to send Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s Supreme Court nomination to the full Senate. He says he’s still reviewing her cases, and is trying to be as fair as possible.
“I generally want to support the President’s nominee, and frankly I like her very much,” he said. “I think she has a great life story, but there are a lot of problems that arose during the hearings that are bothering me tremendously.”
Hatch has said he believes JUDGE SOTOMAYOR HAS CONSISTENTLY RULED TO LIMIT THE SCOPE OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT. Concern about THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS also led Senator Bob Bennett to announce last week that he would vote “no” on Sotomayor’s confirmation
*********
• Miss. Republican Wicker to vote against Sotomayor
Associated Press - July 21, 2009
JACKSON, Miss. (AP) - Republican Sen. Roger Wicker of Mississippi says he will vote against confirming Sonia Sotomayor to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Wicker said in a statement Tuesday that Sotomayor has shown AN “ALARMING HOSTILITY” TOWARD GUN OWNERS.
Miss. Republican Wicker
When I first read that I thought Miss Republican Wicker was a beauty pageant.
Joshua Norton: You’re thinking of Kentucky Senator Miss McConnell.
“drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons”
SKS, I appreciate your succinct ability to grant monikers. You forgot “dumping ground for northern rejects.” After all, I resemble that remark.
SeminoleInDior: I grapple with my own quite regularly. And lend it out for special occasions as well. Will be consulting those official rules now…
Crank Tango: This warms my heart. If you came to the Wonkette chat room, you’d know the dirty shit your fellow members of the Wonketariat were up to.
please please please say it warms the cockles of said heart. LOL and I had no idea there was a chat room…
I thought saying cockles would be overkill. Only a few of us really go to the chat. We’re a tight-knit, horny (and ornery) lot.
wonkette.chatango.com
You must create a name, or I will ban you.
Jesus fucking Christ
widget09: Yes, my child?
The Roman Gabriel method of throwing the ball.
Charlie throws the football like he’s heaving a papaya to his lover.
“Now, Mister Raul. Run swiftly, swiftly to the table with the shaker of Pink Martinis, and swivel right. And for Nelly’s sake, don’t break any of the stemware. They cost a fortune to replace.”
Charlies Crist and Republicans love the Second Amendment. I mean, what Republican wouldn’t love the right to bare arms? Muscular, tanked topped, bare arms…
SeminoleInDior: Why are most of your followers morons?
widget09: Well, I think it’s a large sense of self-loathing, coupled with a crippling sense of entitlement and superiority. You would think my making them obese and/or terminally unattractive would break them of this, but they’re persistent little shits. They keep donating money to me, but all I really want is a box of doughnuts..and maybe some cute shoes.