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Dr. Pedobear Will See You Now

by Ken Layne

3:31 pm July 21, 2009


No, not at all! According to famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report,” it is about a giant looming Pedobear who will “fix” your “health” by, uhm, raping children. Is that what you people want?

{ 61 comments }

NoWireHangers July 21, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Cousin of Sexual Harassment Panda.

Hooray For Anything July 21, 2009 at 3:37 pm

What was the symbol of Communist Russia? The Bear. What is China’s most famous animal? The Panda Bear.

I think we all know why he chose a bear as his symbol for health care. WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!!!!

Godot July 21, 2009 at 3:37 pm

DO YOU WANT DR. PEDOBEAR ADMINISTERING YOUR PROSTATE EXAM??!?

Suds McKenzie July 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm

I don’t have kids, … so ..er .??

nappyduggs July 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Sound and furriez, signifying nothing.

Doglessliberal July 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Pedobear is holding the eyeball of a child on a string. He is not only a Pedobear, but he eats the children after molesting them, keeping their eyeballs as trophies.

CrunchyKnee July 21, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Today we are all furries.

SayItWithWookies July 21, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Hey at least it’s not a pointy-toothed clown.

Todd Mecklem July 21, 2009 at 3:42 pm

A bear? It could be a bear. Or it could be a Cthulhoid death-creature listening to an other-dimensional iPod. Either way we’re in trouble…

ManchuCandidate July 21, 2009 at 3:42 pm

I hear that prostate exams are popular among the GOP. Just cause they’re not administered by medical professionals doesn’t mean they aren’t proper (and who the hell calls himself Dr. Manhole Feelgood, anyway?)

Monsieur Grumpe July 21, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Molesto the Bear and Hopey have the same ears. Coincidence?

CuntryFirst July 21, 2009 at 3:44 pm

So this is why Sanjay Gupta turned down the Surgeon General job

bago July 21, 2009 at 3:44 pm

ooh eisbear!

Joshua Norton July 21, 2009 at 3:44 pm

It’s really a Furry playing “doctor”. Say “aaaah”.

Extemporanus July 21, 2009 at 3:46 pm

I hope Mama Bear doesn’t find out about this socialist ObamaCareBear®, or she might brazenly rise up on strong hind legs and growl “Don’t touch my cubs!”

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 21, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Drudge is right to call attention to this, as it is well known that Brown and Black bears have terrible health care because they are lazy and just sit around eating watermelon while dreaming of tight pussy, comfortable shoes, and a warm place to shit.

kdaddy July 21, 2009 at 3:47 pm

He’s using that big giant bear to scare children and Republicans. Obviously the most
devious of all Presidents!

shadowMark July 21, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Are we all going to have to learn what scritching means?

FamilyLost July 21, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Isn’t that the logo for Children’s Hospital?

President Beeblebrox July 21, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=367248]Extemporanus[/re]: “My hardcore Alaska Grown girl hiking…”

“Hardcore” and “Piper Palin” are not two words that should go together.

Hopey dont play that game July 21, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Why does Drudge hate Trig?

Crab1 July 21, 2009 at 3:55 pm

shoulda been Health Insurance Puma.

JoeMac July 21, 2009 at 3:55 pm

A black and white bear and a black and white president, coincidence, I think not.

smitallica July 21, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Terrible symbol for the healthcare reformings. That bear is clearly blind.

Min July 21, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Bears. They’re godless killing machines.

Prommie July 21, 2009 at 4:00 pm

[re=367250]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Are you sure you are not Lionel Butz?

Doglessliberal July 21, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=367258]FamilyLost[/re]: yes

Doglessliberal July 21, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[re=367258]FamilyLost[/re]:

http://www.childrensnational.org/

ForTheTurnstiles July 21, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Health care? We have prime ministers…

GET OFF MY PHOOOOONE!

Extemporanus July 21, 2009 at 4:07 pm

[re=367254]shadowMark[/re]: You ain’t my scritch, furra! Buy your own damn fries!

honkyman July 21, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Enuf! How about a moratorium on wingnut loonies? I realize this would deprive Wonkette of most of its material, but there must be lovelier and more humorous things to report on than pedobears, drudges, bitters and birthers, Alaskan quitter governors, Barbie know-nothing fake boobers, etc etc etc. How about just more buttsecks 24/7? Also.

bitchincamaro July 21, 2009 at 4:08 pm

The moment I saw these 2 bears juxtaposed on Rachel last night, I knew I’d be seeing it again here, today. Wonkette has conditioned me, entirely.

mirrorball July 21, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Is this the bear Reagan warned us about?

There is a bear in the woods. For some people the bear is easy to see. Others don’t see it at all. Some people say the bear is tame. Others say it’s vicious and dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who is right, isn’t it smart to be as strong as the bear? If there is a bear….

Snarkalicious July 21, 2009 at 4:09 pm

[re=367269]Min[/re]: I know what your thinking, and yes. That is the new Obama Family Coat of Arms. They had it modeled after their own Goddless killing machine bear, Trig.

hockeymom July 21, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=367233]nappyduggs[/re]: hahaha, beary good!

Doglessliberal July 21, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=367279]honkyman[/re]: Well, you might find more buttsecks commentary over here, plus, it is a great blog
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?show=blog

Come here a minute July 21, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Chairman Steele’s approach to this issue is centered bottom-up.

bago July 21, 2009 at 4:19 pm

If you’re going to link to the Slog, use this link, so that you’ll ger Dom and the rest of the writers. They do good work.

Doglessliberal July 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm

[re=367292]bago[/re]: but more buttsecks with Dan’s parts.

Country Club Jihadi July 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Stethoscope, or one-eyed zipper snake? Paging Dr. Ben Dover.

azw88 July 21, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Drudge fears national healthcare ‘cuze he’s afraid that they will discover that he is, in fact, completely fucking insane and commit him and his big red siren.

Naked Bunny with a Whip July 21, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Is that what you people want?

No, rabbits are obviously better suited to perform this treatment, both in terms of size and productivity.

Come here a minute July 21, 2009 at 4:29 pm

[re=367298]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Pedohare?

Naked Bunny with a Whip July 21, 2009 at 4:33 pm

“Pedolap” is both pithy and appropriate.

Pickle July 21, 2009 at 4:46 pm

I think I know what will be #1 on Colbert’s Threatdown tonight…

Bearbloke July 21, 2009 at 4:57 pm

I love the Government-issue Roofie-flavoured lollypops Dr. Pedobear has…

gurukalehuru July 21, 2009 at 5:00 pm

All of these comments will be placed in the pedo file.

proudgrampa July 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

I just can’t bear this…

Come here a minute July 21, 2009 at 5:14 pm

From the President of the United States
To the lowliest rock and roll star
Pedobear in and he’ll see you now
He don’t care who you are
Some get the awful, awful diseases
Some get the knife, some get the gun
Some get to die in their sleep
At the age of a hundred and one

Mumpedo July 21, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=367268]smitallica[/re]: But he can still smell the menstruation, and if so that patient is obviously not of the correct age group.

assistant/atlas July 21, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Wait, Pedobear can give America healthcare and all we have to do is let him rape a few kids? That’s a heckuva lot better than a trillion dollars or whatever. Hooray, Pedobear! I mean, it’s a lot better deal than we ever got with the Catholic Church.

Mumpedo July 21, 2009 at 5:19 pm

I’m slightly confused about the whole “Mouth Rape” thing. Does the ‘Rapee’ get it IN the mouth or WITH the mouth?

Tommmcatt July 21, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Will this child-raping pedobear be more expensive or less expensive than being dropped from my insurance plan when my dissolute ways finally give me cancer? Because it’s hard to make a decision without all the facts.

Servo July 21, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Furries performing abortions? That’s Socialized Medicine I can believe in.
[re=367230]Godot[/re]:
That would be done by Dr. Poo Bear.

FizzyDrink July 21, 2009 at 5:58 pm

There is no bear there….or is there?

lochnessmonster July 21, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Stephen Colbert is going to be terrified. You know how he feels about bears! Obama is doig this just to frighten Colbert!

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 21, 2009 at 6:27 pm

I wouldn’t worry about it until Obama starts a health care listening tour aboard the Ice Cream Truck Express.

hoosiermama July 21, 2009 at 6:32 pm

[re=367279]honkyman[/re]: It sounds like you might need a Wonkette fast. Turn off your computer, go to the park and smell the flowers. Watch the little children play…but not too closely and, for God’s sake, don’t smell them.

GivingForehead July 21, 2009 at 10:12 pm

President Obama?

Why don’t you have a seat over there.

hamletta July 21, 2009 at 11:32 pm

[re=367275]Doglessliberal[/re]: Good “catch”!

No, really. I used to work for a pediatric medical journal years ago, so I corresponded with faculty at CNMC all the time. I recognized the “pedobear” instantly, which is the mark of a really good logo. Whatever the designer got paid, it probably wasn’t enough.

Teddy bear + stethoscope might seem so self-evident as to be lame, but Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital’s logo is foldy paper dolls, all uniform and mechanical-like, and it seems cold next to Our Pedobear.

gurukalehuru July 22, 2009 at 12:13 am

[re=367328]Come here a minute[/re]: Spidoosh.

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