Wonkette
You know you are scraping the bottom of the barrel, wonk-wise, when the most famous person on your “spotted around DC” list is Wolf Blitzer. Such is the state we find ourselves in this mid-July. But let’s check out the roster and see who was nearly run over in a parking garage, who was seen joking about his ex-wives, and who stumbled upon a hidden squad of lesbians in Alexandria!
Have you, in the past several weeks, nearly run over a Washington notable? We’d like to hear about it! Send your stories to tips@wonkette.com and your words will live forever, on the Internet.
- Saw Wolf! (Blitzer) almost get mowed down by a woman pulling into the parking garage at 2141 K Street. Luckily for the fate of humankind, she stopped. He nodded at her repeatedly, waved his iced latte as if to say, “yes, it is really me. Please do not kill me on my morning Starbucks run. It is really not the way for a Wolf! to die.”
- Marion Barry sighting! on my way to a stupid meeting I see Barry pull up in his cadillac to city hall hounded by a lone reporter.
- We spotted Rahm Emanuel eating dinner at Tenleytown’s neighborhood Mexican dive restaurant. While we love Guapos for its cheap margaritas and classic Mexican restaurant smell, we didn’t expect to see the President’s Chief of Staff dining next to us. When he wasn’t on his blackberry, he seemed to be enjoying his meal with the family. No one else in the restaurant seemed to notice.
- Sitting at corner bakery on vermont near Newt Gingrich. He just called Obama “reaganite”. And he’s talking about his tweets. Also making jokes about his exwives.
- Saw political writer/pundit Craig Crawford dining on the lanai at Mama Ayesha’s on Calvert in Adams Morgan… The three people he was sitting with were quite unglamorous and even dumpy… but then, he’s no prize himself, so I don’t know if I’m surprised or not. The lady that seemed to be “with” him (kind of a matronly type) was smoking a cigarette with dinner like it was the ’80s.
- [This is a tip from back in June, before Moran lost the race for VA governor. Better late than never!] Just saw minor democrat congressperson Jim Moran and his boy, candidate for governor, Brian Moran. They stopped for dinner at the uber-gay Stardust in Old Town [Alexandria]. They wanted to glad hand and press the flesh with the little people but they only found a dining room occupied by a middle aged lesbian get-together!
Thanks to Virginia, Matt, Mara, Aaron, Scott, and Robert for their excellent spycraft.
In other news:
USA Today, July 21, 2009
Senate Judiciary Committee Republicans Tuesday secured a one-week delay in the committee vote on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.
The move was expected after senior committee Republican Jeff Sessions, of Alabama, earlier said he would seek the week — as allowed under committee rules — to continue to review her record.
….
I saw weatherman Joe Witte this morning in Rosslyn. Too bad Alison Starling wasn’t there as well.
What about Ruth Buzzi sighting?
It’s true; D.C. is Hollywood for ugly and even stupider people!
I prefer to use cookies as a loincloth, for the children.
Werewolf!
Werewolf?
There. There wolf. There castle.
Why are you talking that way?
I don’t know… thought you wanted to.
How does a restaurant qualify to be called “uber-gay?”
What the holy hell does “uber-gay” mean?
What the holy hell is it with people insisting on calling anything “uber” something lately?
Let’s have an uber-moratorium on calling things “uber”-something. Please.
Those aren’t cookies. Those are magic mushroom caps. Apply directly to forehead!
I was nearly rear-ended by Bill Gates coming off I-5, where we had been rat-racing. I blew by him about 95 in my Rover sedan, and he, in his dinged-up XJ-6, could not resist the urge for hot pursuit.
We were just a couple of crazy kids, back in ‘87.
Guapo’s, by the way, is not in any way, shape or form a “dive.”
Geez almighty, people, who wrote in these things?
Guapo’s, which a bunch of us have been to at least a dozen times through the years, is a nice restaurant, with good food, good portions, good service, good drinks (they don’t skimp on the alochol like 99 percent of D.C. other, more-over-priced and chintzy places do), and affordable, reasonable prices. And a fun atmosphere.
That is not “dive” by any means.
In fact, Guapo’s is a far better restaurant on every level than about 99 percent of D.C.’s other ridiculously stupid, over-priced, snotty and over-hyped moron restaurants.
Go to Gaupo’s–it’s a great and abover-average restaurant.
Newt called Barrie “reaganite”? I’m confused: in GOP bizarro world, that would be a compliment, but Newtie hates Barrie and would never compare him favorably to Ronnie, the patron saint of Republicans.
“Unglamorous?” “Dumpy?”
Who decides who’s “unglamourous” and “dumpy?”
Geez!
Middle-aged lesbians are people too!
Lascauxcaveman: Hope I’m not the only one to get a juvenile chuckle out of you almost getting ‘rear ended.’. This is Wonkette after all!
That pic is exactly how I feel when I see Wolfie on TV.
Too bad that lady stopped. She might have done humanity and journalism a big favor Blitzing the Blitzer.
Texan Bulldoggette: With the ghost of Reagan everywhere in DC, our spy misheard Neut. He actually called Barry Hopey “Stakhanovite.”
Get a Brian Moran.
thefrontpage: If you’re in DC and you’re not named Obama, Emanuel, Abedin or a few select others, you’re unglamorous. And dumpy. Also, I heard Guapos is a dive.
“The move was expected after senior committee Republican Jeff Sessions, of Alabama, earlier said he would seek the week — as allowed under committee rules — to continue to review her record.”
Translation: Session still can’t find anything on her but would like to keep looking just in case.
Just for the record, Brian Moran is Jim’s brother, not son.
Terry: Sessions has asked that Soto’s opinions be translated into redneck.
hobospacejunkie: thefrontpage: With a name like “Guapos”, it can be one of only two things: a dive, or a gay bar frequented by unglamorous, dumpy dykon wannabes.
+10 points for using “lanai” in a sentence…what a great word
At first I thought it said, “surrounded by a lone reporter.”
The ultimate circular firing squad?
Craig Crawford is like a gayer talkier version of Foghorn Leghorn. “What’s the big… I say, what’s the big idea chasin’ my worm? You’re a cat, son. Cat’s don’t eat worms. You’re takin’ the food right outta my mouth! I don’t go around chasin’ mice!”
I wonder if Newt was joking about the wife he divorced when she had cancer, or the one he called on Mother’s Day to tell her he was divorcing her. Hard to say, since they’re both clearly laff riots.
I saw Donna Brazile on the corner of 4th and Pennsylvania SE around two weeks ago.
She was wearing sparkly purple flip-flops and getting into a black SUV with a CNN bumper sticker on it. I hope to god that was a company car, because sticking company swag on your personal vehicle is just…sad.
Extemporanus: I’d say any restaurant that exudes the dirty-feet smell of 1,000s of fajita plates from over the years can safely be called a “dive.”
Back in ‘92, I was driving around DC - Sheridan Circle specifically - on a rainy fall afternoon. Out for a daytime stroll was a wrinkled raincoat-wearing frump who decided it would be plenty sensible to saunter out between two parked cars and right into the middle of the road. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and squealed to a stop as he walked into the road. The frump kept walking as I honked and cursed and did all those things drivers do when they’ve come thisclose to damaging their cars while slamming into stupid, unaware pedestrians. And. Then. I realized the frump I almost vehicularly manslaughtered was…Ralph Nader. Eight years before Gore v Bush. How many of you can say you almost changed the course of world history AND had a great DC celeb sighting all at the same time?
thefrontpage: Why do you hate The German? You are uber-uptight. About Guapo’s, too. Then again, maybe a 100% alcohol drink would help you.
In the past 3 weeks on Connecticut Ave just a few block north of Dupont Circle I have seen the following DCelbrities:
Christopher Hitchens
Look: Filthy-dirty
Smell: 3-week scotch binge, bangers and mash
Vibe: God is not great and neither is Chris Hitchens
Tucker Carlson
Look: Pear-shaped (seriously, like a midwestern housewife!)
Smell: Ralph Lauren
Vibe: He’s wearing the bowtie again……I guess that means he’s got a new job?
Jon Favreau
Look: Pitt
Smell: Starbucks and Abercrombie
Vibe: Desperate to be recognized
I don’t know their names but the female housemembers of MTV’s “Real World”
Look: Gap
Smell: CK1
Vibe: Actually they were very nice and polite (sorry Wonketeers)
Guapo’s is NOT a dive. But then again if the comment was made by an a$$h0le aka Washingtonian or someone who currently lives in DC and is constantly remarking, “DC is such a beautiful city.” Or, “There’s a lot of great culture here in DC.” Then yeah this special brand of self-entitled twit will believe Guapo’s is a dive because they’re living an illusory existence like most people in DC. And when it comes to restaurants or entertainment Washingtonians aka a$$h0les who know absolutely nothing. These are the very same morons who believe Marvelous Market bakes good bread, or that Busboys and Poet’s open-mike night is fabulous or that (you won’t believe this but I swear it’s true!) Coldplay* is great.
*You may exchange “Coldplay” with “Dave Matthews Band” (or “Genesis” if it’s an older a$$h0le)
Obviously You don’t know a prize when you see it, worse yet, you expose your own gross ignorance with your dribble. Too bad you don’t follow your own guidelines.
Guapos is a dive for people who went to AU- it’s infamous for its 18 and up parties that are always hot, crowded and drunken affairs.
But hey, when it’s not a sketchy club, the food’s pretty good.
I got picked up in a DC gay bar by local TV weatherman Bill Kamal once. I think he used a silly pick-up line about going back to his place where he could forecast showers.