Wonkette
God bless Twitter, aka “man’s greatest achievement,” for enabling ordinary citizens to combat MSM smear campaigns against political heroes such as Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, whose entire political reputation emanates from deep within her thick, shiny hairdo.
One week ago, the New York Times irresponsibly published the following spurious claim, which was a million times worse than that time they said “Oh yeah Saddam has these aluminum tubes which he’s pretty definitely going to use to bomb us all”:
Friends worried that [Palin] appeared anxious and underweight. Her hair had thinned to the point where she needed emergency help from her hairdresser and close friend, Jessica Steele.
(Your own Wonkette made a similar suggestion a month previous, based solely on the wiggishness of Palin’s hair and the suspicion — not yet plausibly refuted! — that she is, in fact, Rudy Giuliani in drag.)
Anyhow, now Palin’s hairdresser is speaking truth to power, via one million heavily punctuated Twitters. It’s basically like what happened in Iran last month only better because this gal is not typing in Farsi.
Palin Hairdresser: NYT Was Lying About “Hair Thinning” Claim [Conservatives4Palin]
Jessica Steele’s Twitter
Then they’ll twit two friends. Then they’ll twit two friends…
I tip more when I get a good scalp massage, but do you have to tip more if your hairdresser kicks in a Twitter on your behalf?
thank god this issue has been resolved!!!
BTW Rudy Guilianni in drag IS Rudy Guilianni
So her rocket-scientist hairdresser took something mentioned a week ago in the NY Times, so something most of America will not see, and put it on Twitter for a much broader audience to see. So now all of America can discuss Sara Palin’s thinning hair. Nice job there, Jessica.
Sarah Palin totally uses the Bumpits.
Up Next!!!
Palin’s Brazilian bikini wax goes horribly wrong. Pictures at 10!!!
And here we see the origin of the phrase, “Dumber than a box of hair.”
The “lipstick” tattoo is proof she’s not Giuliani.
If there was ever a time when America needed Sarah Palin’s hair, it’s now.
Sarah Palin is to her hair as the Green Lantern is to his ring.
At least the lies were not about Trig this time.
Hopefully, this will spur Joe The Plumber to come forth and admit that she never flushed tampons either.
I read about her already in that book club book, “Reading Rumi in Wasilla.”
Jessica Steele raped Sarah Palins hair with her twit (twat?).
so she’s the one responsible for palin’s hairdo?
Do any of us horrible cretins on The Left really give a fuck about whether or not she’s balding? I mean, do you think every 60 year old guy with a big, slick head full of hair in Congress is just showing his God-given wavy locks?
so if her hair isn’t thinning, what was the 20,000 dollar merkin for?
Moose jizz makes one’s hair fall out… just sayin’…
Better if she had twatted, “I AM the motherfucking HAIRDRESSER, MOTHERFUCKER!”
You know, a la Nicholson.
If I read the Times story correctly, it didn’t quote her hairdresser about the thinning hair, just “friends” (sources, NYT, we want sources!). So white Alaskan females again score off the charts in the hysteria department. Must be those months of darkness.
Chris Matthews is Sarah Palin’s wingnutty hairdresser?
Guano Twitters…
If her hair is thinning, they should just transplant some of that mustache that shows in the Time cover on top of her head. Problem solved!
Twatter is new the journalism. Cronkite died of disgust.
so sad 2 c Sarah&Todd go:
Todd & I r packing JNU house today; looking thru Piper’s kindergarten schoolwork here reminds how quickly X flies;she enters 3rd grd in fall
She should just curl up and dye.
Is Jessica Steele related to Michael Steele?
Perhaps Donald Trump can lend her one of his toupees…
So… how is it that the left is desperate to discredit Ms Palin, given that she’s done the job so competently and completely all by herselfs?
Now “jessicabeehive” (horribly apropos) has started her own twitter-war (twart? twartter? twatter?) by defining new wordz. New Troll-Cat @ 11.
Woodwards Friend: That is man’s lowest achievement. I saw it last night on TV- I thought it was a commercial from the 60’s. The hair styles all looked like the girl groups(as we olders called them) from that time.
Her hairdresser reads the NYT?
“Inside Edition contacted me about an interview,I said no because the whole “story” was a lie! Sarah Palin’s hair is not thinning!”
How difficult is it to say “I refused…?” I Declined….
Not to belittle the intelligence of hair-stylists, my stylist is fabulous, and oh-so-intelligent, but this can only end in another badly-mumbled Larry King Interview.
LEVI, CAN YOU ADDRESS THIS PLZ?
I’m just glad Twitter wasn’t around when Ronald Reagan was denying that he dyed his hair. Of course, it was true that he didn’t — but only in the sense that Reagan believed it was 1958 at the time.
bfstevie: They’re identical cousins! Also.
She exclaims exponentialy.
First:
“New term: Media Myth: when something becomes the “truth” not because it is true but because the media repeats it over & over & over”
Second:
“Example of Media Myth: I see Russia from my house was never said from Sarah Palin Tina Fey said it on SNL”
We can only reach the logical conclusion that “Real Americans” can no longer determine truth from fantasy in their media-melange.
Notice that the hairdresser didn’t denounce the left wing media rumor that Sarah is a complete moran. She spoke out about thinning hair, but not moranity.
I am the Palins vetrinrian and I will not be used as a lbrul tool. Itz all lies that Tods dog had human semen in itz butt, it was just some mayonaze.
One easy way to solve this problem is to borrow a page from the Liberation of France: Drag Palin to the town square and shave her head in public.
Well, the sp incorrect twitter deluge is just warming up, July 26th is near. I for one will arrange to be out of town and off the computer. Don’t expect me to look at anybodies *fancy phone* either. Also. I am afraid of sp, very afraid because I’m a liberal. Also, of wads of hair in the moose chili and that pack of no good kids running across my lawn pushing baby strollers.What the fuck has this world come to? It’s a shame!
Lexington Steele is distancing himself from Jennifer’s comments.
Lies About Hair is going to be the name of my next band.
“The Center for American Progress is pleased to announce the release of its new report, “Palin’s Hair Looks Like Wet Rat Fur,” authored by renowed hair slander expert and well-known Columbia University Bolshevik, Fred “Freddy” De Vonk.
“The march toward a Soviet America will can only move forward if we can convince Americans that unemployed former Gov.Sarah Palin, a serious political leader and policy wonk, not to mention a cutie, is actually a nasty looking goofball who makes even Alaska look stupid.”
http://akbeehive.com/GO_SARAH.html
omg.
heroinmule:
She reads all the papers, Katie.
finallyhappy:
Now wait a minute, Amy Winehouse looks great w/that hair.
Remember when people called Ross Perot nuts? Ha, look what we got now!
The Left? Hey, that was me! Er… that USED to be me.
This new “The Left” definitely seems to be a petty little bitch, though. I was concerned with illegal wars and how fat Jonah Goldberg is/was.
OK, everybody. We must stop spreading rumors that Sarah Plain’s hairdresser is thin. Is that right? So hard to keep things straight on what we’re supposed to be “upset” about.
Sounds more like “someone” at the Beauty Barn was blabbing away and got caught. Now that same “someone” is using Twitter to cover their ass and protect that big $5.00 tip they get every 6 weeks.
GovSrh dz NOT hv a landing strip like shwn in teh sick
prono they made!!! She haz fullgrowth bush neetly trimmd
w/edgz bkiniwaxd. MSM STOP mizreprznting hr prety cnt!!!
Tattooed makeup? Bald woman with wig? Paranoid behavior? Sarah Palin is the meth addicted Satanic mother of Damian, the Omen child®, and Rosemary’s too. ☠☠DANGER☠☠
[just showing off my text... what is this thing?]
JadedDIssonance: omFg….Pink.
Inside Edition wanted to interview her? COME ON.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/palin-hairdresser-nyt-lie_n_241000.html
If Palin was a duck, we could call her problem down syndrome.
I like her caveman English Twitter icon: “well behave WOMAN rarely make HISTORY”
Twunt.
Dean Booth: WIN
Today we are all snowbilly grifters with thinning hair.
JadedDIssonance: So that’s where the momjeans went…
Monsieur Grumpe: I just threw up in my mouth a little
Dean Booth: Were it within my powers, I would grant you a thousand whore-diamonds, but I don’t even have a gawker star…
8:38 on the West Coast. Is that too early to begin weeping into my fourth glass of scotch?
I feel obliged to report that Palin’s gynecologist was overheard at the Wasilla Kuntry Kafe telling a friend that he had to put an extra stitch in her episiotomy because Trig’s head was the size of a cantalope and that she was asking about a badly needed labia reduction. Evidently, she has a mud-flap problem.
Bearbloke: as does the blood of Inuit infants.
JadedDIssonance: Plenty of fapping material for fat white Republican guys there. Well, maybe not - I didn’t see any ladyboys.
I do love the Blingee’d photo of Palin as well as the gigantic sparkly Superman “S”. Didn’t Supey throw that thing at Non in “Superman II” when they were fighting in the Fortress of Solitude?
Sure, lady. Not thinning? That’s what they said about Phil Spector too. WE WON’T BE FOOLED AGAIN!!!
http://blogs.laweekly.com/ladaily/full-court-press/phil-spectors-wigstock/
Rev. Peter Lemonjello: yes, but it does put hair on your twitter…
I demand we see the birth certificate of that yellow bird that claims to be Sarah’s hairdresser!
“How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Britney after all she has been through.!
She lost her aunt, she went through a divorce. She had two fuckin kids.
Her husband turned out to be a user, a cheater, and now she’s going through a custody battle. All you people care about is….. readers and making money off of her.
SHE’S A HUMAN! (ah! ooh!) What you don’t realize is that Britney is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her.
She hasn’t performed on stage in years. Her song is called “give me more” for a reason because all you people want is MORE! MORE-MORE, MORE: MORE!.
LEAVE HER ALONE! You are lucky she even performed for you BASTARDS!
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!…..Please.
“
President Beeblebrox: From what I hear, all sorts of strange things wash up in Wasilla.
I anxiously await the twatting from her Gyno
heroinmule: Her hairdresser reads the NYT so she doesn’t have to.
So now the NYT can accurately report: “Sarah Palin Not Getting Balled”?
JadedDIssonance: The beehive looks like a buffet for Jame ‘Buffalo Bill’ Gumb.
Gee, I guess only your hairdresser really knows for sure.
Tweetie twat twits twee tweets twatishly, twice.
How can the hairdresser tweet with his hands on his hips? He must be straight. Gay men MUST pose as they defend!
WestEdEd: Gyno: “Sarah Palin does NOT have herpes!
Oh wait, what? Hair piece? Well, uh, all I know is that she’s a goddamn real ‘merkin. Now, if you could just turn your head and coif, we’ll be done here.”
liquiddaddy: mmmm, beef curtains.
so, this post is the only one listed under the tag ‘bald girls can be hot.’ i haz a sad…..
“Texas Sparkle”, who has a blog at the Houston Chronicle, twittered this to the hairdresser: “I absolutely LOVE that you are calling the NYT out on their lie quoting you as Palin’s hairdresser! TWITTERTRUTH! Heh. (via @RWSparkle) about 18 hours ago from Tweetie”.
Nevermind that Texas Sparkle got her Tweet all wrong, and that the “lie” and the quote wasn’t of the hairdresser at all — but of “friends” of Palins.
Can’t these idiots get ANYTHING right?
Eh - we eeevul as hell libruls don’t hafta lie about Bible Spice: she feeds us her b.s. via her twat when she twatterz. We just snark about it endlessly. This bitch needs ta twat Caribou Barbie, instead, or thump Palin upside the head the next time she’s in for a ‘do.
Is Remmington Steele going to look into this hair mystery?
I will withhold judgment until Putin rears his head and evaluates the hairspace of Alaska’s governor.
It took a whole week for her to respond? What was Hairdressy Bessy doing all that time — is it moose-shearing season?
This story alone makes me even sadder that Best Week Ever is no more.
mattbolt: Sam Donaldson, as well. Also.
Dean Booth: I love you everywhere you go, Dean. Thank you.
JadedDIssonance: What will Sparkle Pony think of that?
I think I want a T shirt.
I need an intervention.
Breathlessly awaiting the Twitters from her manicurist, denying vicious nail fungus rumors.
Now we can all breath easy and sleep well at night.
Crank Tango:
We are all Merkins, now.
richardwb1:
There is nothing more pleasing than a moose fur merkin.
This leftie is more interested in having her head on a skewer: thin hair or not.
Joe Biden’s dentist here. He does not use teeth whitener.
Anybody have a photo of Guliani and Palin together?
Woodwards Friend: Whenever I see the word “bumpits” I immediately picture a body part - think armpits. I’m not putting that on my head.