Wonkette
Well hats off to Senator Byron Dorgan, who read about the Treasury’s proposed “Humor In The Workplace” presentations for Bureau of the Public Debt employees, called the Department to complain, issued a few grandstanding words about Wasting Taxpayers’ Money, and got the events canceled. Good for you, asshole. Two 3-hour presentations from a fun clown at $15 an hour. You just saved the American taxpayers a whole $90, aimed at bringing some levity to what must be one of the government’s most soul-crushing office environments. You’re a hero, Byron Dorgan. And if money’s the problem, your Wonkette editors will gladly and patriotically lead these presentations for free. Intern Riley is good at drawing and stuff. [The Hill]
I’d do it pro-bono too. Where do I sign up?
Cancel deez nuts, Dorgan.
I suspect that having a last name that includes a variation on the word “dork” has turned Senator Dorgan into humorless toad.
CLOWN FLASH MOB: 3PM. BE THERE.
What a spoil-sport. I was kind of looking forward to the clown meltdows.
You’re a mean one, Senator Dorgan!
You’re a rotter and a cad!
You oppress the gub’mint wage slaves,
‘cuz their misery makes you glad!
Senator Dorrrrr-gan!
(All the whos down in the Bureau of Public Debt are just gonna stand around the coffee machine in a circle and sing songs anyway, you giant prick)
With this cancellation, the Bureau of the Public Debt takes a slight lead over the Bureau of Labor Statistics in this year’s Battle of Federal Agency Soul-Crushingness.
Atheist Nun:
That is the kind of thing that would force me back onto my meds.
I hope they at least get a pizza party.
Can’t sleep, clowns will increase domestic spending by .00000000000001%
Dorgan likes the traditional government way, where the clowns do the hiring.
Yeah, well… does Byron Dorgan take it in the cornhole?
And is there anything better to do in the Dakotas?
You’d think Dorgan would at least throw us a credit. This is service blogging!
Those Bureau of the Public Debt slaves should keep their heads down and noses to the grindstone! They can all stay at their desks — just take little paper cups of bourbon around, if they need some relief from their misery!
Riley is only good at drawing if he draws dicks on EVERYTHING.
Grandstanding asshole much?
Also, Treasury is in the executive branch. Why didn’t they tell senator fucknutz to mind his own bidness & go racially harass a judge or something?
Send out the clowns.
Byron Dorgan knows from clowns.
The poor debt-bureau slaves could just tune in C-SPAN and watch a replay of Sotomayor’s hearings. That Lindsay Graham is hilarious. He’s no Paul Lynde, but who is?
Senator Cornhole must be a dark, dark blue dog democrat with feces where his heart should be.
Please, Pleeaase(!), lead the clown seminar Wonkettes!
Tommmcatt: Maybe you’re right, that does sound rather nightmarish.
The Bureau of the Public Debt employees will just have to amuse themselves with the Microsoft Word clip art of a happy, leering coffeepot on the passive-aggressive sign in the kitchenette that says “Your mother doesn’t work here!!! Please clean your own coffee cups!!”
Well there goes Glenn Beck’s dream job.
He just wanted to make people laugh.
Tommmcatt: Maybe the good Senator is put out that the B of the P D did not invite him to come by, strip down to his rubber underwear and do his well known and universally well received happy dance.
There have to be clowns…
Ha — and some of the commenters here thought having these seminars was the saddest thing ever.
We’ll soon discover that this was a krumping consultant that was denied access to entertain the worker drones of the BotPD. That’s not racial transcendence, Dorgan!
Dorgan is fricken hilarious, in a very dry and subliminally snarky self-satirical way. Like all Senators. Maybe he can do it.
But, if Wonkette can do it, I also volunteer my services. I can do funny curses, especially of Senators.
Senator Drudge does not appreciate the importance of crayon and paste ready jobs.
Tommmcatt: Sometimes, being mobbed by flashing clowns is the best medicine.
Go rent Debbie Does Baraboo and maybe you’ll understand what I’m talking about.
19kevin8: I hear he only draws dicks on balloon animals, the sicko.
I know! A menstrual show!
x111e7thst: the good senator couldn’t stand he thought of any competition
x111e7thst: “the” thought, of course (boss was lurking, i’se typin schnell)
I guess this means the lingerie party scheduled for next February 14 is on hold, now?
DollarStorePregnancyTest: Don’t you mean pro-bozo???
$294,626,730 in earmarks last year for this douche-nozzle and he’s bitching about what? $5,000 to prevent a handful of suicides in the bureau of broken dreams?
Byron Dorgan takes it up the cornhole.
An anagram for Byron Dorgan is “I suck donkey cock”.
I hope Migs throws cum in his hair.
slappypaddy: I encourage my staff to periodically comment on blogz on the internetz. I hope to raise their morale and get them to work longer hours for less money. They ungrateful scum prefer to congregate by the water cooler and mutter darkly while casting sidelong looks of loathing in my general direction.
digibal235: Almost $300 mill in earmarks for North Dakota??? That’s like a million dollars per resident. WTF kind of gubbment sugar teat programs they got up there?
Lord Growing: Only if everyone chips in five bucks.
A Better American Than YOU: As long as we can skip the pre-show.
I hear that loquaciousmusic is good with the one-liners.
I heard Geithner got a lot of laughs in China, maybe he could be moral officer too.
(Apologies to Yakov Smirnoff): In new America, numbers crunch you.
Dang, Senator. George Bush really needed that job, too.
Best not to send Riley into a den of soul-starved mid-level government bureaucrats. They may, nay, they will eat him, starting with the tender bits.
“$294,626,730 in earmarks last year for this douche-nozzle and he’s bitching about what? $5,000 to prevent a handful of suicides in the bureau of broken dreams?”
The amount of his salary he devoted to this well negates the mount of money “saved”.
And the clown they hired was none other than Ouchy the Clown! I hear he’s a great management consultant!
http://www.ouchytheclown.com/meet.shtml
Byron Dorgan is putting Congress on Double Secret Probation. “No more fun of any kind!!!”
Huh…this sad little saga just got mentioned on the CBC radio show As It Happens. And they noted that it was probably The Wonkette’s coverage that brought the situation to wider notice, which is just a damn shame.
Still, are the folks at The Daily Show paying attention? Those Canadians know how to do an attribution!
They DO read Wonkette! They DO! Hi, Byron!
I has a vision, of driving a road of elm trees…and then, silence.
Clowns are so last century. 21st century office workers want Furries, and you don’t have to worry about them say controvercial things as the real thing mostly are mute from what I see on UTube. I think Ginger Vixen would liven up the ole money printers.
He’s just mad that so many conflicting anagrams are within his name..
angry, orgy, annoy, gay, and gonad just to name
last nighta few.