• May 27, 2012

Heroic Joel Sawyer Abandons Adulterous Patriarch

by Jim Newell  2:57 pm July 17, 2009

Famous harried slave and recipient of comical e-mails Joel Sawyer has regrettably tendered his resignation as Mark Sanford’s spokesman, although it is unclear as to why. Perhaps the Washington Post‘s Chris Cillizza should resend this e-mail to procure his latest Fix! [AP]

{ 34 comments }

Extemporanus July 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm

I just sent Cillizza an email:

“Douche, is everything ok?”

magic titty July 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm

Maybe he’s maneuvering on the Argentinian firecracker?

finallyhappy July 17, 2009 at 3:02 pm

I’m sorry what was there in my email about wanting to see MARK SANFORD’s resignation that you did not understand. when I ask Wonkette to report on Sanford’s resignation-I expect you to get it right. Now my weeked is in shambles. I will have to take to the drink.

AnnieGetYourFun July 17, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Chris Cillizza is a good name if you say it over and over again.

Mahousu July 17, 2009 at 3:05 pm

I didn’t know slaves were allowed to resign. That makes the whole Civil War thing seem kind of pointless in retrospect.

TGY July 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm

More road-kill on the Appalachian Trail.

MGBYG July 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm

A “Cillizza” is what one does with an Argentinian firecracker, my fra-ends.

paintitblack July 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Maybe Cillizza finally got tired of being kicked to the back of the bus, whilst Mark “The Family” Sanford used $44k in public funds to fly first class to tango w/his Agentinian soulmate.

El Pinche July 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Chris never got a response to that email from Sanford.

Republicans no longer respond to emails. All responses come from Grassley’s supple tweets.

ManchuCandidate July 17, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Don’t Cry for Me, Mark Sanford

freakishlystrong July 17, 2009 at 3:11 pm

The governor said in a statement that Sawyer has been a devoted staff member.

And the governor would know about devotion??!

A Better American Than YOU July 17, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Dude got the rubber glove-and-Lysol franchise for The Fellowship. Mucho dinero.

Terry July 17, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=365073]freakishlystrong[/re]:

“And the governor would know about devotion??!”

Devotion, yes. Fidelity, no.

SayItWithWookies July 17, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Maybe Joel Sawyer just got tired of covering for an incompetent boob who compares himself to King David?

V572625694 July 17, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=365066]paintitblack[/re]: Yes because South Carolina public officials are constantly thinking of their dignity, and how the public will perceive their behavior. Look at Lindsay Graham.

Plus Graham brought along his designated successor, Indian-American hottie Nikki Haley, and she sat next to him in First, although she claims she can’t remember. Certainly when I go on 9-hour flights in coach, it’s often hard to remember where I sat, because of the pain.

Sent it all to Tips@wonkette.com, so it’ll languish forever.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 17, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Surely he quit to spend more time with his mistress.

norbizness July 17, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Is Cilizza that guy from the party Wonkette covered who looks like McLovin after chemotherapy?

Todd Mecklem July 17, 2009 at 3:17 pm

You know things must be very bad if he’s willing to give up that wonderful gov.sc.gov email address. Way cooler than Gmail…

Crab1 July 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Bro, thanx 4 being there. No its not.

finallyhappy July 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm

[re=365079]V572625694[/re]: Problem with your remarks- Lindsey Graham had a hot WOman sitting next to him? Are you sure?

norbizness July 17, 2009 at 3:23 pm

[re=365084]Crab1[/re]: Hows about a patented double-C back rub, clothing optional? Dude!

takes12no1 July 17, 2009 at 3:31 pm

[re=365079]V572625694[/re]: I’ve often wondered about tips@wonkette.com as well.

But do you mean Nikki Haley was sitting next to Sanford or Graham because she has been groomed to be the gov’s successor not the senator’s…although when you’ve seen one redneck South Carolinian you’ve seen them all right?

BobLoblawLawBlog July 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=365052]magic titty[/re]: “Tia, que pasa?”

Cilizza should be always and forever ruthlessly mocked for this, is what I’m saying.

WadISay July 17, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Hey, what has happened to Sanford’s Argentine soul-mate? Did she just drop off the face of the earth? I am hoping she is working on a really bitchy book about how she had to listen to a lot a blah-de-blah about Jesus and fake orgasms because Mark Sanford is hung like a gerbil.

V572625694 July 17, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=365092]finallyhappy[/re]: Oops, meant to say Sanford. I was in a transport of investigative rapture when I wrote it.

a4phantom July 17, 2009 at 4:02 pm

What Cizilla should do is quit the WP and take up “hiking the Appalachian trail” from under Sanford’s desk.

Min July 17, 2009 at 4:16 pm

He’s leaving the ship before it’s completely submerged. All the best rats do.

Lord Growing July 17, 2009 at 4:18 pm

“Like it?” Sawyer said. “Well, I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. Does a flack get a chance to whitewash the intercontinental philandering of a degenerate Southern governor every day?”

snideinplainsight July 17, 2009 at 4:27 pm

It’s this level of relentless, brutally probing, razor-sharp investigative reporting that has gotten the WashPost to where they are today.

That and, on the editorial side, somebody leaving azzhat Fred Hiatt in charge of something larger and more complicated than a cheese ball.

AnotherManforHillary July 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Is it just me or is Cillizza kinda hot?

Mr Blifil July 17, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Dude, suck your root for a quarter?

hobospacejunkie July 17, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Chris Cillizza has a lisp that is perfect for newspaper writing. Not so good on the teevee. If all i’m hearing is your lisp, Chrith, I’m not hearing what you’re saying. Communication FAIL.

hobospacejunkie July 17, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=365252]AnotherManforHillary[/re]: I can speak only for myself, but yes, it’s just you. The glasses, the lisp, the overeagerness to impart conventional wisdom (i.e. never says anything interesting,) doesn’t add up for me. He’s all yours.

dbrandcorp July 20, 2009 at 3:40 am

Hi All, Maybe Cillizza finally got tired of being kicked to the back of the bus, whilst Mark “The Family” Sanford used $44k in public funds to fly first class to tango w/his Agentinian soulmate
DBRAND CORPORATION
website: http://d-brand.net
email: info@d-brand.net
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