Wonkette
The bounty hunters at CNN have located the plantation from which Michelle Obama escaped, and returned her. Pulitzer for Public Service much? [CNN via Wonkette bounty hunter "Patrick"]
SOMEONE'S GOTTA WRITE IT
CNN Finds Michelle Obama’s Plantation
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6:07 PM
on Thu July 16 2009
By
Jim Newell
2520 Views
Yowza!
“From White’s house to the White House: The Michelle Obama Story. Only on CNN.”
From slave to meeting the Queen. Oh what a heartwarming story.
Bounty hunter “Patrick”? You’re paying for “news” now? For shame!
Srsly, how did Black people manage before CNN and that nice mulatto-looking Soledad woman began explaining “the Negro” to America?
They’ll probably want to put up a plaque there. But don’t worry, Steve King will put a stop to that!
problemwithcaring: Apparently, not well.
V572625694: I know you didn’t ask for this but I say more news should be paid for. Why should everyone involved in bringing the story to the public get something out of it except the person or persons without whom there wouldn’t be a story?
The story quotes Mrs. Obama as saying:
“Without the brave and selfless efforts of Mr. Don Cornelius, Harriet Tubman’s dreams might never have been realized, and I likely wouldn’t be standing where I am today. Can you dig it?”
Good thing Barack wasn’t born in this country
I’m disappointed. I was expecting a more grandiose plantation. Michelle Obama impresses me less now.
Only in America could somebody four generations removed from slavery, and whose ancestors suffered from oppression and prejudice all their lives, rise to become first lady — and be criticized for not being proud enough of her country.
Slaves had it pretty good. Look at the clean siding on that shack!
Ole Strom Thurmond had dozens of those on his plantation. But his weren’t as big or as well taken care of as this one.
orange: And who kept it clean, hmmmm?
lizard scum: OMG. Her husband is not even a U.S. citizen and she’s not descended from Mayflower pilgrims. Throw them out of the Whites House.
Dayam! That looks like one fancy-scmancy slave house to me. It looks more like a slave mansion. Two stories, and it has fancy shutters on the windows! They had it pretty good, huh? See, they are whiners. I am sure that truth-tellers like Rush and Glenn will point this out.
Well, if they want to be fair and balanced, like FOX News, CNN should get to tracking the slave-owner roots of Jeff Sessions. Or maybe Mark Sanford (that guy actually grew up on a plantation…).
Bounty hunters? We don’t need their scum.
mrsixinch: I assume the Mexican maids.
Wow.
I’m old enough to remember Jim Crow. I remember the ‘white’ and ‘colored’ water fountains at the A&P store where my mother shopped. Separate restrooms, too.
Of course there were no black kids in MY school!
We’re finally getting there…..
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118798/
In my naughty fantasies, the goregeous, haughty, dark giantess is always named “Mandinga.”
orange: sure it looks nice and all, but 125 people enjoyed living in those plush accommodations… at the same time.
That’s right CNN, keep them niiiiiiice and humble. Nothing puts things in perspective like reminding a girl that her ancestor was more like “Chicken George” than King George. Also.
And Unca Pat’s now saying: break out the sheets & cross boys, we gots some BURNING ta do!
Do you think her family’s owners had some prophetic insight when they painted their slave shack WHITE!?!?!?!
“The shacks probably weren’t much refuge from the vicious clouds of mosquitoes, chiggers, *fire ants*, and other pests”
and no windows either in that CIA slave rendition hell-house of horrors..
She’s a lot older than she looks, apparently.
OMG, I’ve been there. Beautiful place but it’s hellish in the summer if you are there by choice. Unimaginable under other circumstances.
SayItWithWookies: You’d really think Michelle would be more grateful that she doesn’t have to be a slave! Black people and their false sense of entitlement.
Does Jeff Sessions know about this?
The CNN is gonna win the Pulitzer for documenting the degeneracy that is the Fugitive Slave Act. Harvest of Shame looks like Romper Room compared with this hard-hitting journalism.
problemwithcaring: Soledad is smokin’ hot, also. I think she’s black Irish.
Lascauxcaveman:
“And as the slave master roughly tore at Mandinga’s burlap camp dress, eagerly awaiting his dark, vicious, unsolicited voyage into her darkness, his mindless desire was fed by the palpable cadence of her heart. Confusing the intensity of such a physical response would prove a fatal mistake, for what he did not know was that as soon as he finished his violent and pathetic business, Mandinga would return to her white shack, and retrieve a small pouch containing a miniscule yet surprisingly potent issue of crushed oleander leaves. In a few short hours, his precious wife and children would be dead.”
Those damn slave romance novels never really have “happy endingz.” Erection deee-nied.
M. Night Shyamalan is Michelle Obama’s father?
The comments on the article are pretty special. Among other things, it turns out the fire ant didn’t arrive in the U.S. until the 20th century, so presumably back during slave days, everything would have been just peachy.
Mahousu: from the fire-ant debunker: Also the slaves, likely being from West Africa, would certainly have been adapted and used to heat and humidity. As for chiggers, mosquitos, snakes, and alligators, everyone had to deal with those, not just slaves. I’m sure the slaves lives were no bed of roses, but I’m sure the same thing could be said about 98% of the US population in the early 19th century.
For people who yammer on and on about how important freedom is, they sure do discount its benefits pretty quickly.
Did they ever find the “whitey” tape?
Nope?
I have a strong hunch we’ll be seeing this shack again and again in 2012
Oh well, pass the socialism, comrades.
I don’t remember slaves in the Great Underground Empire.
(This is a Zork joke.)
First CNN tracks down Bubbles, and now this. Might as well get out of the news business, as its peak has been found.
Extemporanus: What does Doctor Cornelius have to do with this? I better watch the movie again.
Thomas Jefferson woulda hit that!
Why would Mark Sanders leave all this when he could cuddle with Cubby and “La Argentine Fire Aunt” in a white love shack beside a swamp, I mean “wet land”?
All I remember from our tour of the place is that our docent told us there was an old slave matriarch who lived in that house called Auntie Bellum. I think that’s right.
Big white mansions and little shacks.
Oh, great, How is Michelle gonna ’splain dis?
And to think, someone bought that house for $200,000 in 2006 with a subprime loan. God bless America!
So that picture proves what exactly, that she’s a house negro?
NYNYNY: Look for Escape From the Soul Train of the Apes in the “Apesploitation” section at Blockbuster.
But, guys, you’re missing something. Lincoln was born in a log cabin, so the two sides are even, right?
The Obama’s certainly are impressive. If I remember my Obama mythology correctly, not only was she born in slave quarters, but her husband was born in a manger.
nappyduggs: Way-hay-haytaminute. Is there actually … nahhh!
OMG, it actually exists! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074855/
And I was just kidding. (Sounds like a pretty good flick, from the review.)
SayItWithWookies: Slam! And that’s the sentence that would end the report if I were AC’s producer.
One Yield,
Please… Mark Sanford grew up in Ft. Lauderdale NOT SC. The Sanford “plantation” was about as real as Bush’s “Ranch”.
Real Lane not “: You sure about that? I’ve read up a little on Daddy Sanford, and unlike Daddy Bush & Son, Daddy Sanford actually seems to have been a real farmer after his family moved up to the plantation and seemed to be much less of a dick than either Daddy Bush or his son.
That said, you’re definitely that Mark is a carpetbagger that’s been a dick for a very long time. Like, most of his life, in fact.
paging Judge Souter.
Declare it a National Park. Watch the wingers’ heads a ’splodin. Hell, make it a goddamned shrine.
Mahousu: Wow … the comments *ARE* special, in that “special education” sense.
Wow.
How bitterly these fucking idiots hate the Obamas.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen “reparasions” before, as a spelling of “reparations”. I hope someone’s Descriptionist Dictionary picks this one up, along with “rederick” and “Joseph Gerbils”, my previous two faves from some Freeper on Alternet.
Excuse me, but I think that Frank Ricci has a story to tell too.
Lascauxcaveman: Oh, I know, silleez. I also knew about that film. My aunt used to quote it. Yes. Well, then.
Guess I’m in the minority on this one, but I actually thought that article was pretty interesting - highlighting the difficulty of tracing African-American genealogy.
I was just reading today about slave records from St. Croix being put online, which will help some slave descendants trace their ancestry:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iNi7UyWQG6eAVGb66O3DOBNrKIlQD99G17U81
/history nerd non-snarkiness
SayItWithWookies: Well anyone except the Republican pervs looking forward to her spread in National Geographic? Maybe they can use this exotic erotic locale for the photo-shoot.