Wonkette
Merciful heavens, Meghan McCain has contracted the Consumption! And what folk remedy has her personal Obamacare physician prescribed? Leech therapy? A cardiac needle full of Demerol? Maybe a soothing oatmeal bath? Nein! She was maliciously instructed to devour pint after pint of disgusting Airborne juice. But it’s a good thing she got a second opinion from Dr. Twitter, because it turns out that Airborne stuff is just another hyped commodity Goldman Sachs tricked America into buying. Get well soon, Meghan! [Twitter]
Thank heavens she doesn’t have the vapors!
Well, silly, that’s what you get for drinking stuff you siphoned out of the air.
God, her sick room must smell like root beer and dirty socks.
She’s using airborne? Damnit she’s stupid. (and I bet she really means Sicam, which is also stupid, doubling her stupid score, ftw).
Go figure. She looks like ass too.
airborne is bullshit? how do I not know this… why are they still selling it then?
It’s people like this who buy diet pills that promise to peel off 20 pounds in 30 minutes while eating nothing but Whoppers.
Just because it’s for sale doesn’t mean it works, chere.
I feel like a piece of ass too, sometimes, but you don’t hear me bitch about it.
Tons of “work” to do, you say? Writing tirades on your Magna Doodle doesn’t count as “work”, darling.
Plagiarist!
That twat is word-for-word identical to the description on the back my Cumshot Catching BBW Blogwhores, Vol. 23 DVD.
(I’d give “two-and-a-half hard-ons”, btw…)
When does one grow out of the “blogette” tag???
I’m sorry, but really, what work does she have to do? Twitter more?
She’s a sick, hot mess in bed?
Wow, I’ve never masturbated to a tweet before!
Wait, is there a liquid version of this fake medicine? She’s probably drinking Tussin out of a champagne flute like Lil Weezy.
keywords: hot ass nasty mess meghan mccain…hmmmm, sick, ey? that’s not what i’m reading.
Hot mess..in bed..feel…ass….nasty airborne stuff.
Hannity taught me how to edit.
I learned hot to shoot nasty airborne stuff by watching Cher when I was a kid.
ivenson: If you’d also said “urine-soaked children’s underwear”, you would’ve described the inside of my van to a ‘T’.
airborne is bullshit? how do I not know this… why are they still selling it then?
Um…deregulation? Lack of enforcement powers on behalf of the FDA? Nobody really overseeing industry? You know — all those Republican ideals.
so, by airborne, she doesn’t mean the 82nd, right? Because you pull a train with those guys and you are going to be a hot mess that feels like ass.
Extemporanus: Well, that’s just…erm….huh…….
She forgot to capitalize “lord.” Back in my day, nuns murdered children for lesser crimes.
You go, lunger. Just because you feel like ass doesn’t mean you’re sick. It may mean you’re
coming to your senses.
i read “megan” and “ass” and I, oh nevermind.
Please–let us not concern ourselves with this person, ever again. Please.
Please.
Please!
“I feel like ass” = “I want anal”?
I think that much is obvious.
I prescribe two black men Meghan and call me in the morning.
Deconstructed version:
lord [believes in a higher power (on Twitter)]
I’m a hot mess right now [me so horny!]
totally sick in bed [puked on my pillow]
yuck [vomit smell bad!]
tons of work to do [I don't understand what the word 'work' means]
but I feel like ass [me so (lesbo-curious) horny]
drinking lots [runs in the family]
that nasty airborne stuff [contracted STD from Air Force officer]
That twitter wallpaper just gave me epilepsy.
Giving oral sex to the entire the 4th Btn of the 82nd Division is not drinking pint after pint of disgusting Airborne juice.” It’s called supporting the troops.. As far as ass, Megs…don’t ask, don’t tell. What part of that don’t you git?
No wonder your daddy lost, your all a pack of Rhinos
Translation: I just got rode hard and put up wet and they came in my face. Also.
sezme:
Hey now! That’s not fair. The STD came from Navy, Walnut’s personal branch.
dijetlo: Huuah! Don’t forget the HHC! — REMFS need love too.
“Hot mess”=Swine Flu
“Feel like ass”=Having a righteous case of the loosey-goosey shits.
“Tons of work to do”=Finger fucking myself to a picture of Tina Brown.
“Drinking lots of that nasty airborne stuff”=Diprivan straight, with an Ativan chaser.
What happened in Las Vegas didn’t stay in Las Vegas apparently.
Oh noes!!! It’s the pig death!! Sound the plague bells and light the bonfires!
Anything but that dreaded medicine of the socialists.
“…I feel like ass!”
Me too! Can I borrow yours?
(props to Crow T. Robot for the handoff of that beautiful punchline.)
jasper f. krone: I can’t tell if it’s an image of her dad with his tongue hanging out, or of her mom with her vagina hanging out.
Or maybe an alternating series of both?
Gopherit: dijetlo: V572625694: Boy, all these “airborne” jokes and not one about Meghan’s “drop zone”?
Airborne, all the way! Hoo-ah!
Using Airborne? Leave it to Republicans to turn to magic for their healthcare.
chascates: Nor did it stay in lil’ miss Megs McCabe.
mrsixinch: I think the rangers are the experts in going into caverns for freedom.
Pig flu jokes too low-hanging?
This is not an Airborne joke: Headline from March 28, 2008 — Airborne to Refund Consumers: Herbal Supplement Maker to Pay $23.3 Million Over
Claims of False Advertising: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ColdFlu/Story?id=4380374&page=1
Joshua Norton: Oh ok. The world righted itself.
Jesus fucking christ on a cracker you people are a bunch of perverted sick fucks!
Carry on then.
hobospacejunkie: Jealous much?
V572625694: If they needed love, they’d have been issued flesh lights.
mrsixinch: You suggesting Megs got a hot LZ?
Gopherit: You’d have to stuff OBL up there to get a ranger to go in after him.
That said, I think that the Republicans only hope is to replace Mike Steele with Megs and let the girl go bi-curious on the talibangelicals. Once they go Paul-Tard, we can just pelt them with rocks as we drive by their tea parties, problem solved.
Gopherit: I can’t imagine what you might be implying, sir.
dijetlo: Last guy who went in had to call for a dust-off. (Warning: joke might be dated.)
Godot:Ha, I like your style.
mrsixinch: Why didn’t he just whistle up Puff and dig him out?
The eds are not exactly in favor of this kind of BS, they like snark. We need to cut it out before one of us catches the golden ban-hammer.
Meghan, after reading that, I’m a hot mess too! I try not to let that airborne stuff get in my mouth though. I let it fall on my tits, er, chest.
Extemporanus: either way…
Godot: That’s what I read too. But ‘hot mess’ really ruins that whole thing. Also.
thefrontpage: I could not agree more…
dijetlo: From what Megs has said about her love life, that’s probably the one place no one has looked for him in a while.
SayItWithWookies: RRrrRrrrr, wrong. That stuff is on the market because the hippies and conspiracy theorists pitch a FIT if you require medical testing for their “medicinal herbs” and “alternative medicines.” The feds TRIED to regulate “all-natural” patent medicines back in the Clinton years, and the howling scared Congress into banning the FDA from regulating “dietary supplements,” (aka drugs that don’t really work). Thus Airborne, giant Vitamin C pills that give you kidney stones, that pomegranate diet nonsense, homoeopathic sugar pills, etc.
I think it’s cute that Meg McCabe just discovered that advertisers lie and get away with it.
Meg’s never got the memo about oversharing.
Has she tried a red wine/Red Bull enema yet? It’ll cure whut ails ya!
Having re-read Meg’s twitter, I’m pretty sure that she is just robotripping.
The more I hear of her, the more convinced I am that Meghan McCain is Paris Hilton for the thinking set. Not the thinking-very-hard set, mind you; she’s more for your casual thinker.
her mom drinks lots of nasty stuff, too.
Lazy Media: Damn homeopathic idjits. I got into an argument with the cutest girl the other night because she was into some form of alternative medicine (I’ve already forgotten which) and I said it was nonsense. Can’t keep my mouth shut. And of course they take that shit personally.
So I stand corrected. Though lack of decent regulatory authority does keep products on the shelves for years after they’re found to be ineffective or their claims misleading.
http://www.randi.org/site/index.php/swift-blog/349-yes-another-wrist-slap.html
Lazy Media: “That stuff is on the market because the hippies and conspiracy theorists pitch a FIT if you require medical testing for their “medicinal herbs” and “alternative medicines.” ”
Technically it’s because “alternative” medicine and supplements are a multibillion dollar business that have just as nasty a set of lobbyists as the pharmaceuticals, and it’s much easier to sell snake oil to the public or let them die through neglect and avoidance of proper medication than the much more “sexy” pharmaceutical deaths that occur through lax regulation.
Drinking airborne juice? She must be giving blowjobs to all the guys in the 1st Airborne. Airborne juice/jizz! Doctor’s orders! AIRBORNE!!
Tons of work to do? TONS OF WORK TO DO? Try “tons of beer heiress moneez to shove down my thong while frat boys pee on me.”
SayItWithWookies: True dat. Why is it always the really hawt girls that believe nonsense? Given the choice between gettin’ some and shouting down some “the moon landing was faked” idiocy, I will always starve Johnson to feed Occam.
So Vegas was fun, but Meg’s apparently allergic to cum. Also, thanks for twatting.
Hmm.
Vegas. Hot Mess. Ass. Recently twats about love of gay men and that Joe the Plumber is an idiot.
Trying to connect dots - A gay man gave her an orgasm with a dildo until JTP intervened?
Mahousu: You’re absolutely right in your comparison– both are wealthy and blond; one happens to be famous for wealth, hobaggery and an ugly weird dog, the other because of wealth and bonus ! her intellectual insight into the 80-year-old man party! Lampshade, Meghan!
Lazy Media: “Given the choice between gettin’ some and shouting down some “the moon landing was faked” idiocy, I will always starve Johnson to feed Occam.”
Jeeze, didn’t you read the news? NASA says they re-recorded over all 44 original videotapes of the moon landing. So they hired a company to “re-create” fortieth-anniversary tapes from four sources, one of them a video camera set on live tv. Who did they hire to “re”store credibility? The folks that did Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade!
Of course we believe it, because we’re ‘murcans, and dumber than a sack of hammers. USA! USA!
John McCain was shot down over the moon, and detained for five and a half years. But you librul ‘effers don’t care about his sacrifice because the video is such poor quality, and because Armstrong muffed his (only) line, and because the American flag (on the moon) is flapping in the breeze, and et cetera. Yer a cynical bunch.
Hah, where is your future Associate Editorette now, I ask ya?
I love it when she attacks the idiot morons in her “own” party, but really, what does she have to do? Will the rich little bitch just shut the fuck up until she accomplishes something besides spending daddy and mommy’s money.
I wanna be an Airborne Ranger. I wanna bang Meghan and thank her.
Needs more trephination.
Meghan honey, if you read this, get yourself a tube of that “Head On” stuff and just keep rubbing across your forehead.
So — she’s a Scientologist, AND she uses homeopathic remedies?? Christ, she is weird.
I call “Morning Sickness!” Details @ Is there a blessed event in Meghan McCain and Levi Johnson’s Future?
“In the spirit and tradition of Andrew Sullivan, I feel it is my DUTY to ask if she is with child or with cheeseburger. And if the former, is there proof that the father is not Levi Johnson?”
Gauge: She’s always with cheeseburger. In fact, those were LolMeg’s first words to Cindy, who didn’t notice or care back in those days.