Goldman Sachs Exceeds Quarterly Expectations, Snorts a Record Amount of Cocaine

• Just more proof that the Associated Press is controlled by Erik Erickson and the Pharmaceutical Knights Templar. [ Matt Yglesias ]

• When will you whiny liberals thank S&M black belt John Yoo for correcting FISA's many typos and run-on sentences? And why aren't you more appreciative of all the fabulous features he added in the process, like the provision for warrantless NSA succubus home invasions? [ Think Progress ]

• CONFIRMED RUMOR: RedState's mission is "activism" -- or to be more specific -- actively capturing Karl Rove's queefs in zip lock bags, so they can be treasured and passed on as heirlooms to the next generation of crazies. [ RedState ]

• Claudia Deutsch is bursting with jellybean joy because HURRAY for Goldman Sachs and all the billions of dollars they made while pounding the entire world in the anus! But WAIT. Matt Taibbi and his Merry Pranksters have arrived at the scene, with "facts" and "logic" -- they were not invited! [ True/Slant BLOG WAR ]

• If health care is reformed, blue dog Democrat Mike Ross will handcuff himself to Nancy Pelosi and make fart noises with his armpits until America stops being so socialist. [ AMERICAblog ]