Hillary Clinton's Major Speech(!): 'Remember, We Are Still Very Capable Of Bombing Everyone, For Fun'

America's top bone-shattering Moral Megaphone to the Foreigns, Hillary Clinton, after months of begging, has finally been granted Nobama's permission to deliver her first major speech as Secretary of State! (18 million cracks, natch.) In her address this afternoon at the Council on Foreign Relations, the famous lady will declare America's ardent support for capturing terrorists, not capturing non-terrorist muslins (like four people total), preserving human rights everywhere all the time, fixing some minor Israeli/Palestinian tiff, nonproliferation of rad nukes, saving economics, and the climate changes -- you know,gay stuff.And yet there is still one comical bit about how America can still just bomb the fuck out of everybody when all else fails, leading Politico 's Mike Allen to label this a "muscular" speech in his definitive preview.

NOT THREATENING you people, not implying anything, we still want to be diplomatic and I am the nation's top diplomat -- A+ for me, Hillary! -- but at the end of the day, we simply prefer Warring.

"Not everybody in the world wishes us well or shares our values and interests. Some will seek to undermine our efforts. In those cases, our partnerships will help constrain or deter their actions.

"And to these foes and would-be foes, let me say: You should know that our focus on diplomacy and development is not an alternative to our national security arsenal. You should never see America’s willingness to talk as a sign of weakness to be exploited. We will not hesitate to defend our friends and ourselves vigorously when necessary with the world’s strongest military. This is not an option we seek. Nor is it a threat; it is a promise to the American people."

"Yeah, no shit, but thanks for the reminder anyway, Devil-Princess," the foes and would-be foes have responded, on Twitter.

 Clinton's "Muscular" Foreign-Policy Manifesto [Daily Intel]