Wonkette
Meghan McCain Twitter-biographer MEGHAN McCAIN has special maternal feelings for sexy senator LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SC), who served with distinction as First Mate aboard the Straight Talk Express. The two were practically inseparable on the campaign trail, and during long cold nights, Lindsey would often sit on Meghan’s WARM LAP as she French-braided his GOLDEN TOUPEE. But now Meghan’s Little Lindsey-Lamb has received volleys of disrespect from conservatives for saying he might “vote Yea for WISE SOTOMAYOR-AY!” Are these smack-talkers prepared to duel Meghan, on Twitter, using TRADITIONAL FLINTLOCK BLACKBERRY MACHINES? Because that is the price they must pay, for dishonoring Lindsey Graham so thoroughly ….
Speaking of LATINOS! Actor-director-wrestler shard DAVID ARQUETTE believes there are many Latino women in the world, some of them wise, but others PLUM DUMB CRAZY! He learned this interesting tidbit while pretending to violently thrash a grown man in spandex with a PIECE OF WOOD ….
Outrageous reptile assassin SENATOR BILL NELSON (D-FL) testified before an Environment and Public Works hearing with a 20-FOOT LONG BASILISK delicately woven around the witness table, for aesthetic purposes. Gossip connoisseurs claim Nelson came across the venomous serpent — an invasive species indigenous to J. K. ROWLING WIZARD TREATISES — while tromping around the Everglades, stoned. And like an obedient Democrat, the senator promptly taxed the poor serpent TO DEATH and then aborted “56 eggs ready to hatch” from its mushy snake womb. Nelson celebrated with arguably the most delicious FLORIDA PYTHON OMELET ever, a feast of cheddar cheese and egg yolks exceeded only by ANDREW JACKSON after he slaughtered 1,000 PREGNANT SEMINOLE INDIAN PYTHONS for SUNDAY BRUNCH, in 1818. That’s how the West was won!
Riley Waggaman’s WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com
I have an ALL CAPS MIGRAINE.
It’s so cute that Meghan’s defending Lindsay Graham — princesses need to stick together, yo.
SayItWithWookies: Today’s HuffPo headline, “Meg Says She Loves Gay Men”, is making all kinds of sense, now.
If Lindsey just got laid once in a while, we wouldn’t have to hear so much of his whining and blabbing on the talk-shows. He should have licked Colbert’s face when he had the chance.
Dammit, Riley. Stop yelling at me.
I’m so jealous of his getting to sit in meghan’s warm lap on cold nights…
OK Meghan, fine. If you’re determined to be a fag hag for the rest of your life, that’s fine.
Just pick someone more fabulous, please. We’re rooting for you.
I’ll have you know that Sen Graham regularly pays for a thorough dishonoring from a man down in Biloxi ironically named “Snake.”
Linds will be fine once Meghan pops in the last season of Sex and the City, don their snuggies, and down a few wine spritzers.
For some reason, I’m equating Riley’s column with Jackie Harvey of The Onion.
wait until LA and the Garden State are overrun with 20-ft pythons. How, exactly, they will survive in the southwest is beyond me, but that’s what the map shows.
Bold caps even. But funny anyway, so as the french would say, “hat!”
Another winner from this “Reilly Whiggamore” character!! Megs McCain is a fag hag? I can see that…
bitchincamaro: Meh(g)s also had this to say: Joe the Plumber—and you can quote me on this—is a dumb ass.”
That ball was apparently tee’d-up too high for even our Wonkette editors to take a swing at. And yet…
Riley is just so cute — you just want to pinch his little cheeks!
@megmccabe: LEAVE LINDSEY ALONE!!!11! HE’S A HUMAN BEING!!!11!!!
WickedWitch: He is a cutie. Which begs the question “Who is the closet Republican? Ken or Jim?”
I love that she called Lindsey Graham “family.” Oh he’s family all right, in a Birdcage-y, Sister Sledge sort of way.
I totally saw Waggaman on 18th yesterday over by L’Enfant Cafe. I am fairly sure he was deep undercover getting to the bottom of the Bastille Day French Maid Relay Race.
Hows come there’s no Blingee on Riley’s picture? It’s just screaming for a little glitz and glamor - and maybe a star burst or two.
Are we supposed to read all the writing at the top before we start posting stuff? I’m never sure.
So who was in spandex? Lindsay Graham, Megan McCain (Elvis loves that ) or Riley Waggaman? Beat with a stick. More metaphors…the top hat makes sense now…YOU ARE GENE WILDER IN YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN>>>>Putting on the Ritz!
Is Megs going to start hangin’ with the Log Cabin dudes? Or does she favor twinks over bears?
OH MY GOD!!!! This just in:
“Does it sound campy to say I love gay men?” asks Meghan McCain, sipping an iced tea at the nouveau-chic Hotel Palomar in Washington, D.C.’s Dupont Circle.
Well, I declare! That’s ASTOUNDING.
She went on to say that Lindsey Graham sends a thrill up her ample thighs.
Lay off the NyQuil,laddie.
http://twitter.com/McCainBLogette
No, srsly dude, I can GO for som e o that CHUBBY LITTLE BUNNY. yeah
honkyman: “She went on to say that Lindsey Graham sends a thrill up her ample thighs.”
Megs, he’s just not that into you. But, hell, that’s never stopped you from being a pre-cougar before, now has it?
Also, can I haz a question 4 Megs: “Does it sound campy to say that I love F.A.T. (Fabulous and Thick) women?”
OpusOne: I could at least tell what Jackie was talking about behind the editorial mistakes; this is just a casserole of confusing, badly-formatted horseshit.
Andrew Jackson never ate brunch in his life, brunch is for sissies.