So what’s going on with “So-So” today, the first day of Q&A at her confirmation hearings? Ah, famous musician Orrin Hatch wants to know how she could uphold a state ban on the use of nunchucks, as she did in the case of Michelangelo the Bipedal Turtle vs. State of New York, because we all know that the Constitution’s second amendment legalizes ninja murder. [YouTube]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • voyetra8
  • Servo

    She’ll take yer gunz! She’ll take yer gunz! She’ll take yer gunz! She’ll take yer gunz! She’ll take yer gunz!

  • facehead

    So that’s why she got kicked out of the Wu-Tang Clan.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Having watched my friends make or buy nunchucks and then “use” them. Sonia has a point except she’s wrong about one thing. They’re more dangerous to the user than the intended victim. Saw a friend of mine bag himself with a one trying to learn a move. Only thing I learned was that jock was your friend.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    The Canadians are watching this spectacle and thinking Hmm the obvious.

  • Min

    Meh, who cares? Pirates are way cooler than ninjas, anyway.

  • orange

    “Sticks bound with rawhide”

    cut or uncut?

  • Todd Mecklem

    Just how does Orrin Hatch know so much about binding things with rawhide? Is there another Senate scandal lurking?

  • putinontheritz

    The term is nunchaku. RIP Jonathan Brandis, nunchaku master.

  • yelac

    how could anyone ban these things but be pro-gun is beyond me

  • ManchuCandidate

    Not according to Spike TV’s (and stupidest show I’ve seen) Deadliest Warrior!!

  • Servo

    Hence the term “dumchuks”.

  • Crab1

    Why does she hate mutant turtles? Is she really BeBop in a wig?

  • snideinplainsight

    The first rule of the ninja is: Leave no witness living. Had she been a real ninja, noone would have seen So-So exit that courtroom.

  • seriesoftubescleaner

    This ruling is from the famous case “New York state v. Afro Ninja”

  • Noodle Salad

    Is Orrin Hatch a Ninja Sith Lord?

  • Extemporanus

    Soul Sista Numba 2 (aka “Maria”) has mad love for King Box Cutta, so nunchaku just ain’t her style, yo.

  • slithytoves

    [re=362156]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I believe the pirate beat the knight in that episode, while the Spartan killed the ninja in another. The pirate had a gun. Also. Pirates win.

  • TGY

    Damned New Yorkers, bringing nunchucks to a gunfight.

    Def: nunchucks – sticks with which nuns win theological discussions. With long joining chains, can be used to make the ‘Sign of the Ninja Cross’

  • WadISay

    Good explanation, but she should have ended it with “Grasshopper”.

  • freakishlystrong

    Meh, wake me up when she is deposed about her stance on Deceptacons…

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    Dammit, Orrin, if you want to know, go to the source. Putz.

  • thefrontpage

    The Specter guy just asked Sotomayor if she eats collard greens, fried chicken and potato salad.

    “What’s collard greens?” Sotomayor said.

  • voyetra8

    This is a serious question: how many crimes have been committed in the United States using nunchuka?


    It’s got to be less than 100.

  • Mahousu

    [re=362171]slithytoves[/re]: Nope, they lost to the Phillies, 5-2.

  • snideinplainsight

    What about Vikings? I thought Vikings beat Ninjas AND Pirates?

  • Native of SL UT

    Next time my fine Senator returns to this state, I will great him with nunchucks.
    Except I don’t think he ever comes here. Except at election time.

  • Cape Clod

    Did he ask if she would like some nice Arroz Con Gandules or some tasty Mofongo? You know how Republicans like to playfully tease people about their choices in cuisine.

  • Zadig

    Another good quote for Sarah’s Twitter: “Anyone who doesn’t think Raphael was the coolest Ninja Turtle, is lying, retarded, or Michaelangelo.” -A. Nonnymoose

  • WhatTheHeck

    [re=362144]ManchuCandidate[/re]: She wants to protect young boys from self inflicted wounds to their nuts from those foreign NumbChucks.

  • Elm Hugger

    Now it all makes sense…. I used to work for a company that made the little metal bands that go onto the sticks and holds the chain, string -whatever that the bound the two together. Lost that business when they outlawed them. Now I know who to blame damn republicans. Someone is going to get a VERY angry email on this. It is a conspiracy I tell you, a conspiracy by the gun manufactures. Woodchucks forever, wait, what were we talking about???

  • ShamWow

    My third-grade boyfriend did a nunchuk routine in the school talent show to The Eye of the Tiger. Even at 8 years old I knew he was an idiot and immediately stopped ‘going with’ him. I’m still single today thanks to the trauma that inflicted on me.

  • I know it’s pointless to ask serious questions here, but doesn’t the second amendment apply to the state governments as well as to the feds? Isn’t that one of the things the 14th amendment did, apply the Bill of Rights to state governments? Or am I not smart enough to follow fancy law talk?

  • GreenHalo

    Ooh, numknuts! A short length of broomstick — that goes BENDY in the middle! The mall-rampage murderer’s weapon of choice!

    “They laughed when I pulled out my morning star… but when I crushed the first fucker’s skull, the laughter died wit’ a quickness.”

  • kth

    [re=362242]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: like I fucking know, but I read on one of these “blogs” that the 2A has not yet been ‘incorporated’ (I think that was the word). Which means only the amendments that liberals like count at the state level, or something.

  • McDuff

    I saw some nunchucks used in an Iranian-on-Hispanic parking lot brawl in college. One of Soto’s South American cousins broke a Muslin’s jaw with a mighty whirling swing. The responding cop’s response when first confronted by a dozen fur’ners yelling in fur’n was to shout, “What is this, the f**king United Nations?!

    Since then, I’ve always thought that issuing nunchucks to actual U.N. delegates might be a source of mildly assuming entertainment. Tonight on UN TV! See North Korea versus Boliva in a Mixed Martial Arts Beatdown! 9 PM Eastern, 10 Central! Be There!

  • thehelveticascenario

    Sonia is clearly lacking the Real Ultimate Power.

  • Crazybroad

    [re=362146]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: People who argue that Sarah Palin is good for America while Sonia Sotomayor is a threat are obviously out of their minds. They are determined to drive their own party off a cliff into oblivion. And they’re succeeding nicely.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=362242]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: HAHA NERD.

    Sotomayor did not read this, or she would never ban good toys.

  • Math Prof

    [re=362242]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Part of the whole discussion was that at this point no court has ruled that the 14th applies to the 2nd. As kth said its something called “incorporation”.

  • Min

    [re=362189]snideinplainsight[/re]: Only if they’re Viking vampires.

  • nailsinthecoffin

    Kip and Napoleon are going to be so disappointed. No more nun chucks in their school lockers. Is it coincidence that Napoleon Dynamite was filmed in the Mormon enclave of Preston, ID, and Hatch is from Utah, known Mormon haven? I think not.

  • Delicious

    [re=362189]snideinplainsight[/re]: what happened in the episode pitting the IRA vs. the Taliban?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=362255]McDuff[/re]: I would so TiVo that.

    Also, did you go to college in Los Tehranos, California? The gang war between the Beaners and the Genies got pretty out of control there back in the 80s.

  • bitchincamaro
  • imissopus

    Hey, you know those gun thingies? They are designed to shoot pieces of metal at thousands of feet per second, and if you activate one while somebody is nearby and that person is hit by that metal, it can cause an arm to shatter, brains to get blown out of skulls, pockets of infected bile, and so forth. Please note, however, Senator, that we didn’t do anything to infringe on any nutjobs’ right to possess these weapons of mass destruction, but we did make it a bit harder for the Sharks and the Jets to really rumble.

  • sezme

    It’s a historical fact that Alexander Hamilton died defending the right to bear nunchakus. If So-So had been a real American she would have known this.

  • McDuff

    [re=362322]Extemporanus[/re]: Nope — Concordia College in River Forest, Illinois back in the late 70’s and early 80’s. Back then the college rented space to a branch of English Language Schools, Inc., which taught English as a second language to foreign students before they went on to regular U.S. colleges and universities. This branch was populated mainly by Iranians and then more South Americans came in and there was tension and fights over crashing each others’ parties. For those on the Campus security squad, it was an interesting time. I was walking with a friend on the squad when the fight spilled out of the dorm and into the parking lot we were standing in.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=362386]sezme[/re]: He for the right to have a soul-mate. Truth.

  • Crazybroad

    [re=362148]Min[/re]: Or Samurais.

  • TGY

    [re=362409]Crazybroad[/re]: Only if one has Samurai Knight Fever.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=362146]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: It appears Canada has their fair share of idiot wingnut commentors:

    “So your logic is that Sarah’s resume is not relevant ,but Sonia’s means everything. By the way ,every study I have ever read concludes the the highest paying best jobs are held by the smartest people.Check it out. The first person to bring Hitler into any argument ,automatically loses.”

    I don’t even know what any of that means.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=362242]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]:
    Doesn’t 14th Amendment, through its Due Process Clause, incorporate the Bill of Rights and its 2nd Amendment and thus apply the 2nd amendment to the states. Not yet at least.
    The Due Process Clause says: “nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law”. It does NOT end with, “including those rights enumerated in the Bill of Rights.” So, in fact, there is NO explicit incorporation of any even teeny part of the Bill of rights into the 14th Amendment, no less application of the Bill of Rights to the states.
    No doubt much to the dismay Grand Wizard Confederate Senator J. Beauregard Sessions III, only thru decades of rulings of an activist/socialist/hedonist/anarchist/atheist/collectivist/gay/homosexual/fetus-masher/soon-to-be-racist-latina Supreme Court have “fundamental rights” in selected portions of been found to be incorporated by the Due Process Clause. To date, the unrestricted right to own a 150 mm anti-tank gun to defend your home from a burglar is not one of them.
    See this article on the Due Process Clause/Bill of Rights written by some fag, egghead, beatnik-hippie jazz, closet Puerto Rican, “law” (hah!) professor:

  • S.Luggo

    [re=362242]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Should have said: “fundamental rights” in selected portions of the Bill of Rights.

  • Neilist

    You Wonkette homos can make fun all you want. But I studied martial arts for over thirty years, and I can tell you that nothing — NOTHING! — is more dangerous than a turtle armed with a couple of sticks tied together with string.

    (NOTHING!)[re=362144]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The secret to learning how to use ‘chucks is the crash helmet. You wear an old one so that you won’t knock yourself unconscious ever third move. But you have to use an old one, because you’ll wear all the paint off the back.

    Gesh, do I have to explain everything to you people?

    [re=362463]S.Luggo[/re]: No one uses “150 mm anti-tank guns” anymore. Get a Javelin with a pistol grip and join the 21st Century, won’t you?

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    The Porto Riquan lady voted against numchuks? Fuck! I gotta get some new skills…

  • Extemporanus

    [re=362393]McDuff[/re]: Concordia College? Sounds more like Disconcordia College, if you ask me! Hahahaha…haha…uhh

    Heh? Ahem…

    Seriously though, it’s too bad Andrew Sullivan and Twitter weren’t around back then to LiveBlogTwat the whole thing.

    “Hearing VERY powerful shouts of “Olé!Olé” here in pking lot. I’m go on dorm roof 2 find Mahmoud. B back. #Riverforestrevolution”

  • S.Luggo

    In Puerto Rican barrio culture nunchucks are the Anglo equivalent of after-dinner-mints. Be afraid, Senator Sessions, be very afraid. And stop lisping into the microphone. Annoying.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=362680]S.Luggo[/re]: Y también, why does Hatch keep on glaring at you? He’s not one of faves, but he’s a straight arrow, as Repugs go. Might this concern your experience with “nunchucks” in the colloquial sense? Purely an innocent question. Honest.

Previous articleMichael Steele To Woo Black People With Certain Food Items
Next article