Wonkette
We are just not getting a lot of resignation bang for our philandering buck this summer. Argentine romancer Mark Sanford looks like he’ll stay in the South Carolina governorship, basically because his wife said he could. And now it appears that John Ensign — barring, ha ha, some devastating investigation by CREW or the Justice Department and what are the chances of that? — will also keep his Senate seat and who knows, maybe even run again!
It’s pretty goddamn unfair that these days the messing-around must be committed with either hookers or gays to attract any attention, but there you have it. The voters of Nevada are, according to John Ensign, extremely forgiving when it comes to men who have noncriminal sex with other men’s wives.
Ensign told the Las Vegas Sun he has received calls and e-mails of encouragement from supporters both in Nevada and Washington.
When asked Monday whether he had any thoughts about stepping down, Ensign said his supporters are sending one message: “They say, ‘Don’t.’ ”
“I fully plan on running for reelection,” Ensign said late Monday evening. “I’m going to work to earn their respect back.”
Ugh, what is this “earning” thing? Can’t his mom just issue $12,000 checks to these people?
Ensign to stay in Senate, seek reelection [Las Vegas Sun]
Propped up by the casino industry, champion of family virtue as it is, obvs.
Of course not. Unlike Bible Spice, when Johnny Jumpup gets into trouble (ie: sticks his wick into a vagina not belonging to his wife) he runs as fast as he can to Mommy and Daddy Ensign for payoff cash.
It’s sad, but I respect Quitter for quitting more than I respect Momma’s Boy.
Harry Reid told him to stay, too, maybe.
Even Roland Burris has declined to run, do these Repubs know no shame?!
Mommy said he could, so naaayaah.
He wears his hair like that to accentuate his fivehead.
Ensign may well be the future of the GOP. Now that he has co-opted the free -love agenda, just start talking about the ozone layer and affordable healthcare and presto - the new GOP.
Apparently being a flaming hypocrite has no consequences, and in some cases, you end up better off (see, e.g., Newt Gingrich, Eliot Spitzer–not having to preside over the clusterfuck that is his state right now and writing op-eds in the Post and NYT and still suckling off his wife’s moneyteat seems better off to me). These guys can put their manparts wherever they want, that is OK with me, but the ones who preach and make laws and moralize ad nauseum and then do the shit they preach about need some fate worse than death. Maybe sex every night with Rush Limbaugh.
Sara, you forget, Las Vegas is the bastion of morality.
Can you blame him? The only other thing he’s good at is being a hypocrite but that doesn’t pay nearly as well as governor.
The people who give Ensign money so that they can have influence in Washington don’t want him to leave? Shocker.
Dunno bout you, but I’m resigned.
The calls came from NV Democrats that want to see him stay in office, such an easy target for next election, and comedians. (and maybe a few other philandering husbands, knowing that if the get caught, they can always say, “hey, at least i didn’t fuck my best friends WIFE like Ensign”
If Ensign is truly the anti-Palin, then we must make sure they never come into contact, lest Las Vegas or Alaska be annihilated by a burst of high energy photons.
Wait, nevermind.
Since there seem to be no consequences, more Republicans may to choose to dally with above age-of-consent women than 12-year old boys.
What the hell am I thinking?
I’m extremely disappointed in Jenny Sanford. All of these politician’s wives are alike. Why do I still get the feeling that my wife would cut my very non-famous dick off if she caught me sleeping with another woman?
Ensign’s no quitter–
He’s aping Vitter.
The voters aren’t mad,
nor ol’ mom & dad.
Senpubes never quit!
(Palin just wouldn’t fit.)
gurukalehuru: Your wife probably loves you. I get the sense these wives see the marriage as a business partnership (a la Clinton).
He won’t quit because he has a big cock.
No.wait. That was Lexington Steele. Uh, carry on.
I think that he is getting bad advice (or, command hallucinations if you like) from his talking hair.
gurukalehuru: Well, these women are good Christian and political wives- fame whores as well as believing that their husbands can do what they want as long as they “repent”. Jenny Sanford is bringing up 4 boys - and her lesson to them about being good men is nonexistent.
gurukalehuru: Doglessliberal: Not sure my wife would go that far–although I imagine that dick chopping would seem mild if I not only shtupped someone else but continued to do so after getting caught/confessing.
Mrs. not Argentine firecracker might be thinking “Ok, I will remain Mrs. Governor for a while, force him to spend some time with his sons and then, after a few years have passed, make him wish he had never been born when I reveal all those times that he ___________ed the _____________ while ________ing.
finallyhappy: “sorry, boys, Daddy is with his Argentinian whore this Father’s Day, so hold on to those gifts you got for him.”
Hey it’s alright, people. Ensign got the OK from his spiritual adviser, Doug Coe. You know, the one who uses Hitler, Himmler, Goebbels and Mao in his preachings about Jesus and power. THE FAMILY. They are chosen by god. Who are we to judge such exalted men? They are free to do as they please because god has chosen them. The sooner we accept that the better we’ll feel. Now, doesn’t that help you think of Ensign in an entirely different light? He’s not smarmy or sleazy. He has the glow about him because god chose him. Don’t be pissed off just because god didn’t choose you. Examine your own failings. Ensign’s got better things to do. Like Cheney during Vietnam.
You could be a shitter, even done it with the sitter
If you’ve got an R behind your name.
And no need to be a quitter, even if you’re Vitter,
The liberals are to blame.
~
gurukalehuru: Doglessliberal: Nothing says “I love you” like cutting your dick off.
He’s 2 legit to quit.
dr.giraud: Sssshhhh! That’s their secret comeback strategy. “The new, improved Republican: now 23% more heterosexual.”
The Republican Party: the last refuge for shitty, moralizing hypocrites.
Mahousu: I’m thinking this new, secret, Republican ingredient, “heterosexual” is not unlike that Cranergy stuff. Which, let’s face it, is just SO damn gay.
But does Ensign eat collard greens?
And why is he groping doofus “reporters” at stupid dinners?
What’s up with this guy, anyway?
I could easily rant & tirade about Bill Clinton, finger pointing, hideous sting-artiste Lucianne Goldberg, millions of my tax dollars wasted by pRon-masturbator Ken Starr, & having to endure my mother shrieking at me about “how could Hilary STAY w/Bill after THAT????” But: feh. IAOIYAR remains the name of the game. It’s insulting & infuriating, but if, like these adultresses & wives fellating these piles of lying slimey crapulousnesses, the voters choose to swallow the nasty ugly odious spooge of christianist hypocracy, then I suppose: who am I to argue?
I can understand Nevadans being easy on a guy for cheating. But for running to Mommy and Daddy to buy his way out of it? I always thought the one thing no voters anywhere could tolerate was a fucking pussy.
But he is a turd. And we all know you can’t polish a turd.
Earn *this*.
If Ensign resigned, then Jim Gibbons, Nevada’s Republican govenor, locally famous adulterer and alleged molester of cocktail waitresses, would choose Ensign’s replacement — who would probably be just like Ensign, only with bad hair and poorer parents. So why waste time with a resignation? Momma’s Boy, at least, is entertaining, and we already know what cult controls him.
gidgetbananas: Yes, exactly like Ensign, because Gibbons would choose Gibbons. Which is an even awesomer scenario for Uncle Harry than having the HairDo stick around.
Hey,
At least Ensign didn’t tell us that God wants him to stay in office and run again. That’s progress for a Republican, no?
BTW, the Las Vegas valley is a Mormon stronghold. How they’ve existed and thrived amongst the casino, hookers, and titty bars is quite frankly something amazing that needs to be studied.