Who Groped David Brooks?

Even though we attended The Week's Opinion Awards with David Brooks a few months back and very much looked forward to making pleasant conversation with him over the lobster thermidor, we got stuck in the back with some old gents who did not believe anybody could blog "for a living." But if wehadsat next to David Brooks, we probably would have laid a hand on his juicy amber thigh -- so who can blame whatever Republican senator it was that did this thing once? 

Oh and by the way WHO WAS THAT REPUBLICAN? Chicago street thug Lauri Apple offers up a few tantalizing possibilities.