Wonkette
Drama in the White House, y’all! Notice how President Obama was completely unable to speak or form a coherent sentence after somebody killed his precious Teleprompter. Who will run the country, now that this piece of glass is gone? [BBC]
SNUFF FILMS
Obama’s Teleprompter Dies
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9:35 AM
on Tue July 14 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
3017 Views
I wish he had said “for fuck’s sake” instead of “goodness”.
Fuck. That thing is essentially a mirror. And POTUS broke it.
IT’S AN OMEN OF DOOOOM!
This was completely planned to silence the wingnuts and their Teleprompterz nonsense. Slow clap, Obama. Slow muthafuckin’ clap.
Geebus, he’s so cool.
Seven years of bad luck. Seven-and-a-half left in his presidency. Look at the bright side, that gives him a good six months at the end.
hockeymom: There was that pause, where he censored out “Ah fuckall” considered “Golly!” and settled on “Goodness.”
Was that TOTUS passing the ball for victory?
Probably some experimental CIA assassination device left over by Cheney.
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: AGREED!!!! Now, let’s all get fake ID’s on redstate and start posting comments about how Obama’s obviously too much of a pussy to choke out a reporter during a briefing!
POTUS broke TOTUS, suck it wingtards!
hurf durf…telepromterz….also
And he apologized for it. Whatta pussy.
Yes, the beginning of the end! A Latina nominated for the Supreme Court, the teleprompter breaks and what will be the third apocalyptic sign?
Shattered by his x-ray vision!
I know how Obama feels. Without my Wonkette, I wouldn’t be able to pepper my conversation with snarky comments about politicians.
Though he speaks with the tongues of men and of angels, if he hath not stimulus, the teleprompter falleth like a sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: YES!
Nice try Noobama, but we all know that you have two telepromptarts. This just means he had to look to the right during the rest of his “speech.”
Maybe it’s because now, Obama IS the telepromptor! Maybe, just maybe, he’s teleprompting us!
This is just a warning. After which Lockheed Martin called Barry and said, “Next is the kids’ treehouse, then Bo…”
But where is the birth certificate??!?!!?
There he goes again, dragging the last shreds of dignity of the office of the President through the filth with his dirty, dirty mouth. WE know what phrase you really meant with your euphemistic “Oh my goodness,” Nobama, you BLASPHEMER. I say boo.
Rock stars, always trashing the room.
He walks, he talks, he shatters glass with the power of his mind!
Are there no limits, people? I ask you, are there no limits?
Does it bother anyone else that we just slap the prefix ‘tele’ on any old English word without any consideration of Greek etymological structure? Just me, huh? If anyone needs me, I’ll be correcting local business brochures with a red pen.
Gunner: Obama is going to cave in to the GOP after all?
Where was Joe Biden when this thing fell over?
How do we know even Jim Newell hasn’t been replaced by a telepromptor? He could be teleprompting us right now!
mephistopheles jefferson: No.
gurukalehuru: No, there are no limits for our sweet chocolate Jeebus! I mean, half-breed Muslin! I mean, foreign-born socialist ruler! I mean…well, hell, what are the wingnuts yelling about this week?
Gunner: “Fuck it! We’ll do it mono!”
mephistopheles jefferson: yeah, no, but good for you anyway! I always thought the tele was short for television, as in it used to be a television instead of the magic plexiglass thing. I am more distraught over the weird capitalization; isn’t it supposed to be TelePromTer or some shit like that?
Also, here’s an idea: why doesn’t Barry carry some index cards of his speeches? I am getting really tired of hearing about this fucking thing.
See that’s what you get when you hire Americans to do a job immigrants should do; shoddy teleprompter fixin’. What’s wrong with you, NObama?
They didn’t show the Prez’s backup plan in case of emergencies like this. There’s dude at the back of the room acting out the rest of the speech with hula hands.
Crank Tango: …why doesn’t Barry carry some index cards…
I think that’s what Reagan did, no? But, he’d lose his place occassionally or find them in the wrong order. I think BO’s reliance on the technologies is normal, since he sort of grew up with teevee and all. It’s also an attempt to look at his audience rather than his belt buckle, searching for the 4×5 cards. Or he’s just a lazy fucker.
Crank Tango: I just assumed it was a registered trade name, which means the capitalization is owned and controlled by whoever owns the brand.
mephistopheles jefferson: I always figured it was cool ’cause of the Telemachus character in The Odyssey. Say it ain’t so, Joe!
What did the TELEPROMPTER know that made it too dangerous to let live? Where was Hillary when this all went down?
Crank Tango: Because Barry’s not a retard. Only political cranks (Hi, Wonketeers!) and wingnuts know or care about the TelePrompTerz (which Bush used, every single speech). Everyone else just seems him talking directly to them through their teevee.
I think it was sabotage! They were trying to fluster Barry. Sorry to disappoint you wingnuts. FAIL!
Lazy Media: What is that last sentence supposed to say? sees instead of seems? Where is your internetpromter?
He is such a polite bad-ass.
finallyhappy: Everyone starts taking Dennis Kucinich seriously.
LOL I just meant as a backup. But that would waste precious index cards.
But anyway, I realized why the wingnuts are ripping on him for this: they view it as an electronic form of affirmative action. Never mind anything else–if you can find a reason this uppity feller made it somewhere he shouldn’t have (fancy gizmos, fake birth certs, gold truck nutz), then you should scream about it from hill to dale, etc. also.
Why do his cheeks puff up just as Teleprompter crashes?
Gunner: It was wind-powered. You know, gotta be green in this day and age..
mephistopheles jefferson: The Greek tele/τηλε just means far off or distant. It’s perfect for our modern world of gizmos that communicate by radio waves or whatever, or even by very long lines of cable. Would you care to give some examples of the misuse of the prefix? I can’t think of any, but I’ve never thought about it, so there’s that. But telephone, television, teleplay, telecast, telecommunication, teleconference, telegraph, telemetry, telepathy, telescope, televangelist. It’s all good.
Those aren’t really TelePromTerZ, they are lenses that allow NoBambi to focus his Jedi mind tricks on individual members of the press. He was fixin’ to rip Major Garrets heart out right through his nostrils with his evil Sith lord/dark side powers (not to mention tear the nuts off of Ann Coulter with the same intense blast of his dark side mojo) but the Holy Power of Conservatism thwarted his dastardly plans. Thank Goodness the invisible blue Baby Ronald Reagan (blessing and peace be upon his name, also) watches over Holy Conservatisms guiding lights at all times.
Notice the camera switching away from Obama to show the teleprompter laying on the floor. Shouldn’t the Secret Service detail people to shield the fallen teleprompter with their bodies?
hobospacejunkie: teletubbies - my favorite if they are far off
Well, so much for that trial run of democracy. Soon we shall usher in the reign of Lord “I don’t need a teleprompter to shoot you in the face and tell your grammy to fuck herself” Cheney. Gather ye buttsecks while ye may, children.
A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How those speeches used to make me cry
And I knew if I had my chance
I could make those committees dance
And maybe we’d have health care for a while
But suddenly my prompter shivered,
as a money speech I delivered.
Smashed glass on the lectern.
I began to feel my stomach churn.
I can’t remember if I cried,
When I read about the stimuli.
Something touched me deep inside,
the day the prompter died.
WH must be shopping at cheapteleprompter.com again.
finallyhappy: a voodoo priest as a surgeon general…it’s already there…
Come here a minute: Took me a while to get the rhythm but once I did I, uh, almost cried myself. Excellent work.
That’s how cool Barry is. Hillary had to drag Vince Foster out to the middle of a park somewhere to put him out of her misery. Barry kills the TelePRompTer on camera with his mind and nobody wants to say shit.
“Come Mister Obama-man, shat-ter me teleprompter…”
Everybody needs a piece of glass once in a while.
Come here a minute: *golf clap*
Revenge of the fly…
Oh how I wish I wish that, immediately after the prompter shattered, Obama yelled “Mazel tov!”
Ooh! Or maybe he could’ve waited for the shatter sound, then launched into a karaoke of Billy Joel’s “You May Be Right.” Classic win!
Someone investigate where Joe Biden was at the time of this incident, stat! And, please check to see if there was a indoor grassy knoll, present. Joe’s always been jealous that TOTUS was the actual vice president of the United States. It was an open secret.