Liberal blog lady Marcy Wheeler said a word that we had not heard before, today, while discussing Dick Cheney’s various uncontroversial crimes against Earth: it sounded like, “blow-job.” This term upset the MSNBC anchors so deeply that we Googled it, for a definition, and oh my god you guys! [Firedoglake]

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  1. Now that you suggested it, I Googled this vulgar urban pursuit of “blowing jobs”, with Safe Search on, and was led to a picture of a Japanese “blow job machine”, which sounds horrifyingly dangerous

  2. Worse than the liberal blogger saying “blowjob” was the cable news anchor simultaneously performing one on an invisible dick.

  3. You don’t even want to know what a “Firedog” is; I think it involves the escapades of that psychotic Quizno’s employee and the imaginary demands of the talking oven.

  4. “We all say things when we’re passionate” No shit. Like…Woman! Give me a blow job now! I’m really passionate about this.

  5. [re=361405]finallyhappy[/re]: I think it was “put it in me,” followed by “set your parents’ bed on fire while they’re sleeping in it.”

  6. Eh: just another day in the village.

    Saying blow job on the tubes: massive freak out! family values! eeeeek!
    Discussing the truth about Dick Cheney, torture, CIA assassin squads, etc: nothing to see here, kiddies, move along now.

  7. It’s “receptive oral copulation of a male sexual organ,” Marcy. Is that so hard to remember? Now you have to live with the fact that you made thousands of sweet old ladies across the country all say “Oh, my!” in unison.

  8. To paraphrase Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer, “Dick Cheney is in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.”

  9. My dear family, guess what?
    Today I found out
    what my special purpose is for.
    Gosh, what a great time I had.
    I wish the whole family
    could have been here with me.
    Maybe some other time,
    as I intend to do this a lot
    every chance I get.
    I think next week
    I’ll be able to send more money
    as I may have extra work.
    My friend Patti promised me a blow job.

    Your loving son,

  10. I know they are critical to the Republican Stimulus package. At least Larry Craig, John Ensign, David Vitter, Mark Sandford and Newt Gingrich have worked hard to see that hard working men get them.

  11. [re=361426]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Clearly, that package was more of a load than the economy could handle. Oh, hey, it’s 1995 again!

    Marcy seemed to go a bit overboard. I’m with her, but she got a little histrionic there towards the end, which made Lewis look like less of a shitface than he really is.

  12. [re=361440]V572625694[/re]: Same here, though it returned many picture of our primate buddies, the Golden Tamarins, who would probably make much more interesting television hosts.

    [re=361431]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Hard, yes. Working? Matter of perspective.

  13. Oh, sure. Those guys can go “teabag, teabag, teabag” on national television, until they’re blue in the face, but Marcy can’t say blow job.

    I call double standard.

  14. [re=361446]Min[/re]: Or the Faux news chick that was talking about how the Obamas liked fisting each other. That was pretty filthy too!

  15. Oh man, I just wasted four minutes twenty three seconds of my life for THAT shit?

    I was expecting a smackdown or at least some grunting, spittle-flying indignation from Schuster. Lets have a timestamp on there so we know she doesn’t even say the damn word till the very end of the video!

  16. I think in those situations where you want to use “blowjob” as indicating something is bogus, it’s appropriate to cover one’s mouth and pretend to cough.

  17. I wish she would have slowed it down a bit and used her whispery voice. I’d like to see Matt Lewis’ face turn red. Oh, that’s right, he has no shame. Never mind.

  18. Wouldn’t it be great if one the Wonkette editors got on one of those TV shows. Just imagine Ken Layne on the O’Reilly Factor, SKS on the View, Newell on Colbert, or little RW on the Mickey Mouse Club.

  19. [re=361450]pattycake[/re]: [re=361453]Extemporanus[/re]: Many thanks, fellow Wonketteers. When the so-called “mainstream media” start providing this kind of news-you-can-fap-to, maybe they’ll stop dying.

  20. Artisans in the field of glass did indeed once refer to paid blown-glass work as such, as opposed to rolled work, flattened work, etc.

    Oh, and I am sure Shuster is a bottom on , under Shu-Your-Ster or something juvenile like that.

  21. Blow jobs are serious business. The Marcy Wheeler has misplaced priorities if she thinks some shitty old torture can hold a candle to a blow job.

  22. Blame the make-up people. The minute I saw the red lipstick they put on her, I knew something bad was about to happen. I really thought Davey Shuster was going to put his head on the desk and sob, “Why me? Why me?” He still hasn’t recovered from pimping Chelsea Clinton.

  23. Jim, I think about a man your age having to google the term “Blow Job”, and it just makes me sad for you. Not even at your prom? Hell, I GAVE one at mine. Breaks my heart.

    Come visit LA, I know some nice girls…

  24. Maude Lebowski: You’re not interested in a blowjob?
    The Dude: You mean… fellatio?

    (I prefer the term “Choad Smoking,” actually.)

    I have to agree with the libruuuuuul blogging lady, tho’… When the Official Political Party Of Sex Offenders (GOP)™ can spend millions of dollars and waste everyone’s time with an investigation into Clinton getting a little Sloppy Mouth Lovin’ by a chunky intern, the bar has been lowered enough for the AG to investigate actual crimes perpetrated by “a previous administration.”

    Maybe an investigation will help the GOP understand the term: “Don’t Start None, Won’t Be None.”

  25. Just goes to show that some faces are meant for blogging – that guy looks like what would’ve come out if ET fucked Drew Barrymore.

  26. Marcy, Marcy, Marcy. We expected better of you.
    The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition: Strunk, et al.

    (Many of the words and expressions here listed are not so much bad English as bad style, the commonplaces of careless writing. As illustrated under Feature, the proper correction is likely to be not the replacement of one word or set of words by another, but the replacement of vague generality by definite statement.)

    Blowjob. Some times as two words. Idiomatic in familiar speech. Better: path to promotion; face love.

  27. So is Holder really serious about investigating, or is he just pretending to get people off Obama’s back for the duration of Sotomayor’s confirmation hearings. I am so totally convinced that there will be zero repercussions for anyone in W’s administration that won’t believe an investigation has happened until I can hold the report in my hands. Could Holder/Democrats/Obama really have the balls to initiate a criminal investigation into the wrongdoings of W and friends?

    No, I don’t think so either. Come on, Eric. I mean Mr. Attorney General. Prove me wrong. Please.

  28. [re=361533]Blender[/re]: I’m surprised Marcy didnt reach through the splitscreen and stick a big cock in the gob of that skillet faced motherfucker.

  29. [re=361538]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I doubt there will ever be any investigation of consequence but I can picture some watered down “Warren Commision” type bullshit in thirty years. I take Holder at his word that he will do what he sees fit regardless of the political setbacks for Obama. The really sickening thing about the whole affair is that all of these Congress Monsters are so afraid to lift the curtain. There must be a goddamn chainsaw massacre of the Constitution to unveil.

  30. [re=361510]Atheist Nun[/re]: Yes, we should bow to decorum and always use Latin, especially when discussing the past misdeeds of Dick Cheney. So, what’s Latin for ‘butt fucking the constitution”?

  31. Moses smell the roses. She “apologizes” for saying the phrase “blow job.” I swear that we have become a nation of petulant children. Maybe she could have used a different phrase. I could really give a shit. But the fact that some people will get more offended by the use of the word “blow-job” on cable television compared to what could turn out to be systemic and intentional abuse of power by the Bush administration boggles the mind.

  32. At 3:53 there’s a quick shot of a staffer in the background doing that move where he strokes an imaginary phallus and bulges his cheek rhythmically with his tongue to indicate a knob gobblin’ in progress. Worth it for that alone. (Marcy’s lips are too thin to get me even half mast.)

  33. [re=361446]Min[/re]:

    MSNBC is also the netw— um, the cable playground whose morning fraternity chortled itself airless a couple weeks ago when “pearl necklace” got some airtime.

    I’ll see your double standard and raise you a styful of sexist piggery.

  34. Torture = whatevs, dude.
    Lady says “blowjob” on TeeVee = CATNAROK IS NIGH WE ARE ALL DOOOOMED!

    Yep – America knows how to prioritize (just not how to spell or define it).

    Just wait until MSNBC finds out about Palin auctioning off blumpkins to raise cash for Johnny “Wet-Start” McCain last summer.

  35. blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjob blowjobblowjob blowjob

  36. So, we’re not supposed to protest George Bush while there’s a war going on,(his whole fucking term)and then we’re not supposed to investigate him once he’s out of office?

  37. [re=361600]gurukalehuru[/re]: Also we’re not supposed to investigate him because it’s never been done before except that it has. He couldn’t have been more clear.

    [re=361598]Mr Blifil[/re]: Fox fingered in blowjob apology.

  38. Whilst me and my family get our fix of family-orientated cable news, we don’t expect to be ‘physically attacked’ by evil curse words! Little eight year-old Mindy has been crying all day since!

  39. Marcy went full Biden; Tamron has to walk it back.

    Hamsher should have been the one on there to say beej. Her intense bottle blondness would have counter-acted any objections from GE news drones.

  40. [re=361404]american mutt[/re]: Yes, please. And, can I have another? Also.

    On her actual job, though, she seems to go between coherence and not-so-much pretty often. I swear she sounded like Sarah Palin, once, trying to banter with David Schuster. Speaking of which, David Schuster is a total prig.

  41. [re=361554]Hooray For Anything[/re]: “I can see it now, “the magic torturer” theory”

    Well, Arlen Spector is playing for the Demcrats now, they can put him to work on this.

  42. [re=361545]SlipperyDick[/re]: I believe that would be something like: “coitus per constitutiones principis”?
    Or, how about: “Cheney mos iuguolo nos per suus amplus testis” “Cheney will kill us with his large testicles.”

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