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GRANDPA IS TYPING AGAIN!

Meanwhile, On Chuck Grassley’s Twitter

Chuck “I’m no NAIL” Grassley want 2 fix health care/kill ChrRangel 4ever butt mex judge need fixin 2, ES BUZY. [Chuck Grassley's Twitter]


4:53 PM on Mon July 13 2009
By Jim Newell
1888 Views

  1. ElectricRelaxation says at 4:56 pm, July 13th, 2009

    The second tweet was meant for his D&D character sheet (he’s an Elven Rogue!)

  2. OKLAHOMAjesus? says at 4:58 pm, July 13th, 2009

    I’m going to need a 12 year old girl to translate that for me, it looks like it was written by a 12 year old boy… maybe he had the kid twitter it for him after he had his hanky panky fun.

  3. Next: Grassley sexting his Iowa Corn Stalk.

  4. New entry for the Urban Dictionary needed. I suggest:

    TWIT-er: a moron (aka a TWIT) that uses Twitter to try and carry on bi-partisan talks.

  5. Snarkalicious says at 5:01 pm, July 13th, 2009

    And for his next trick, he’ll be pushing legislation to make shitty english the national language.

  6. I’ve been thinking about this whole Anti-Christ thing, and I’m pretty convinced that it’s the guy who invented Twitter.

  7. The Station Manager says at 5:02 pm, July 13th, 2009

    “If you watch the Supreme Court nominee on television before the Judiciary, you will notice that I will be there most of this week.”

    There, and that’s with 10 characters to spare! Just because it’s 140 characters or less doesn’t mean you have to sound like a borderline-retarded teenage girl with ADD.

  8. CorkPopper says at 5:03 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Jesus Christ, my 16 year old babysitter writes more eloquent text messages than what this guy twats out. GEORGE WILL WHERE IS YOUR OUTRAGE OVER THIS INDIGNITY.

  9. Come here a minute says at 5:04 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Try teh vl, tip yr wtrsses.

  10. mookworthjwilson says at 5:07 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Is Chuck Grassley a LolCat???

  11. Yes You Can Own A Piece of History says at 5:08 pm, July 13th, 2009

    LHfkjhuiar!!!sekfgk%4? Let’s talk.

  12. iantenna says at 5:08 pm, July 13th, 2009

    this is the most confusing craigslist personal listing i’ve ever read.

  13. SayItWithWookies says at 5:09 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Grassley, oddly enough, voted yes on a bill to make English the official language of the US government.
    http://ontheissues.org/International/Chuck_Grassley_Immigration.htm

    Which is sort of like voting for the Endangered Species Act while eating a cheetah steak with bald eagle soup.

  14. Extemporanus says at 5:11 pm, July 13th, 2009

    b4 u r so quick 2 criticize the senator’s spelling, u should find out whether he is just trying 2 b like his favorite musician, Prince.

    In fact, isn’t “I b there most of this wk” a line from “Erotic City?”

  15. mrsixinch says at 5:11 pm, July 13th, 2009

    C D B. D B S A B-Z B.
    William Steig beat Twitter by decades.

  16. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 5:12 pm, July 13th, 2009

    ChuckGrassley

    Spncr Pratt QT. Want him 2 do anal. I b hiz cornholey.

    about 12 hours ago from txt

  17. mrsixinch says at 5:13 pm, July 13th, 2009

    iantenna: Would it help if it was listed under “M4M”?

  18. Snarkalicious says at 5:14 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Extemporanus: Hly 5ht, Prince s gst twt 4 sn graz? OMG, m frkg out!!!

  19. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:14 pm, July 13th, 2009

    CorkPopper: You have a babysitter? How old are you?

  20. Clancy_Pants says at 5:16 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Maybe “i b there” is his feeble attempt to get with the Michael Jackson crowd?

    You and I must make a pact
    We must bring salvation back
    Where there is love, I’ll be there

  21. paintitblack says at 5:18 pm, July 13th, 2009

    azw88: TWIT-er: a moran (aka a TWIT) that uses Twitter to try and carry on bi-partisan talks.
    There: fixed it. And: yes.

  22. S.Luggo says at 5:19 pm, July 13th, 2009

    “Enjoying thick chocolate malt at North English Malt Shop”
    Speaks for itself.

  23. NoWireHangers says at 5:22 pm, July 13th, 2009

    The fuck. I doubt neither a 13-year-old texting pro or Prince would understand that gibberish.

  24. Clancy_Pants says at 5:23 pm, July 13th, 2009

    My personal fave from @ChuckGrassley : “Can anybody tell how to get digital KWWLtv News I’ve got converter box. I want watch Lex Steele”

  25. Clancy_Pants says at 5:24 pm, July 13th, 2009

    My bad.. I guess he meant Ron Steele… Or did he?

  26. rocktonsammy says at 5:24 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Its pure joy watching the republican train about to wreck while they’re tweeting at the wheel.

    We’ll never get back the 20 years we lost with Reagun/HW/JR.

    Soon they will be gone forever and all they’ll have left is Palin to go to for creditability.

  27. S.Luggo says at 5:27 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Grassley’s tweets lack the Argentinian-like passion of Newt’s.
    http://twitter.com/gingrichespanol
    From my translation, Gingrich is running an escort service for Iraqi and African males seeking hot Latina jurists.

  28. MISTAHCOUGHDROP says at 5:27 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Where the heck are the Sarah Palin Stories today!?

    Oh, and Twitter this Chuck: http://abookaboutdeath.blogspot.com/

  29. Extemporanus says at 5:34 pm, July 13th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: He is a member of The Gourmet Club, is he not?

    Come here a minute:
    “Try teh kmdo, tip yr wtrsses.”

  30. hobospacejunkie says at 5:38 pm, July 13th, 2009

    When ur dick, everything is buttseks. I am not dick!!

  31. nappyduggs says at 5:38 pm, July 13th, 2009

    “Twitter: making old rich white dudes sound like Buckwheat.”

  32. Suds McKenzie says at 5:42 pm, July 13th, 2009

    “I the sntr who had hands on D Brooks inner thy”

  33. hobospacejunkie: Thats not what you said last night!

  34. Clancy_Pants says at 5:43 pm, July 13th, 2009

    nappyduggs: I just Strom Thurmond was still around to twitter.

  35. finallyhappy says at 5:44 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Where is my Mark Sanford resignation story?!!

  36. JohnnyMac says at 5:50 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Too bad Chuck’s schoolteacher sister isn’t alive to rap his knuckles for such horrid/lazy typing.

  37. orange says at 5:53 pm, July 13th, 2009

    he’s not even trying

  38. orange says at 5:54 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Enjoying thick chocolate malt at North English Malt Shop
    11:52 AM Jul 2nd from txt

    Hahahahah. He’s fucking a black guy.

  39. Politicartoons says at 6:00 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Why do these old fools continue to demean themselves with Teh Twitter? How, as a citizen who follows politics, does it help me to know what a Senator does b4 a hearing?

  40. JadedDIssonance says at 6:07 pm, July 13th, 2009

    iantenna: S.Luggo <— There’s yer M4M Ad.

  41. ogradybt says at 6:11 pm, July 13th, 2009

    He’s saving all his vowels for marriage.

  42. Holding Out for a Hero says at 6:13 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Maybe it’s from spending the last 8 years listening to W babble on in a language other than English, but I understood all of that.

    Now I haz a sad.

  43. NYNYNY says at 6:17 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Clancy_Pants: lulz–thrmd 2legit2twit “F E ha bn prznit wdnt hd L probz” FTW!

  44. norbizness says at 6:18 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Holy shit, he had himself a strizz-noke in his brizz-nain.

  45. Extemporanus says at 6:33 pm, July 13th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: Eat a bag of nails, toolbag!

  46. nightshift says at 6:36 pm, July 13th, 2009

    I think Grassley is ’sucking the tit’ of Twitter.

  47. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 6:37 pm, July 13th, 2009

    The only people I know that type like that are on the Crack or the Meth. Chuck, are you on the Crack or the Meth?

  48. AnglRdr says at 6:38 pm, July 13th, 2009

    This is why I shall never Twitter or twat or whatever: the potentiality for looking like a complete douchebag is too great.

  49. zebubull says at 6:58 pm, July 13th, 2009


    Smaller group at Marengo Rotary Club.Spme nonmembers attended.Same issues brought for discussion. Docter and lawyers present
    11:24 AM Jul 2nd from txt

    He even shortens “Doctor” to “Docter” to save chars.

  50. One Yield Regular says at 7:15 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Underaged page jokes aside, to what audience, exactly, is Grassley pitching this stuff?

  51. Hedley Lamar says at 7:54 pm, July 13th, 2009

    It’s the modern equivalent of Jack Webb trying to sound hip on Dragnet. Good for laffs.

  52. norbizness says at 8:27 pm, July 13th, 2009

    Hedley Lamar: (sniff) MARIJUANA!

  53. slinkimalinki says at 8:27 pm, July 13th, 2009

    “how hi taxes go to satisfy u” indeed, big boy.

  54. A Better American Than YOU says at 9:30 pm, July 13th, 2009

    1) Mark Sanford had staff do all this while he was on the Appalachian Trail.

    2) Ensign hired his ho’s teenage son to “consult” with the Republicans.

    Ergo: Grassley b havin yungins (mebbe grndchillun) on payrol — or Michael Steele.

  55. El Pinche says at 10:20 pm, July 13th, 2009

    zebubull: Lower ASCII code totals, means less memory. Duh!. But you libtards wouldn’t know anything that. spend. spend. spend.

    $20 says republicans are dicking around with Twitter five years from now when it will be the Altavista of social networks.

  56. zhubajie says at 10:40 pm, July 13th, 2009

    I thought he was busy investigating the possibility TV evangelists cheat their viewers.

    Zhu Bajie

  57. ElitistMarxshits says at 11:37 pm, July 13th, 2009

    rocktonsammy: exactamundo

  58. naveed says at 12:33 am, July 14th, 2009

    english plz

  59. lulzmonger says at 1:02 am, July 14th, 2009

    plz disrgrd that top 20% hold 84.% of wealth. lol! all that lettuce buyz ya some sweet taxshelterz baby. also grssly blws goats & is a fckstck also, call me.

  60. Guppy06 says at 3:34 am, July 14th, 2009

    So… Chuck is going full Galt and trying to protect the income of the wealthiest 1%?

  61. LoweredPeninsula says at 5:18 am, July 14th, 2009

    The only thing more offensive then his use of lolspeak is the complete trash he unleashed upon Sotomayor and the public, today. If I have to listen to one more conservative white guy speak of his anger and horror about Sotomayor’s “empathy” I’m going to puke. ‘Cause, how dare she allude to the fact that she’s going to judge every case equally that comes before her instead of giving special preference to white males. Yes, it’s the first latina judge evah that’s going to be racist and prejudice, not the near entire pack of white men who oversaw the court until very recently. GAG.

  62. CorkPopper says at 11:01 am, July 14th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: I’m sure this will go unread due to too old thread, but I am an old lady of 42 w/3 kids. Yes, reading Wonkette at work.

  63. HuddledMass says at 11:57 am, July 14th, 2009

    CorkPopper: I think shortsX3 is asking if you are the babysat? Translation to Republican = r u 5?

  64. CorkPopper says at 12:14 pm, July 14th, 2009

    HuddledMass: Oh. Got it. I meant “the babysitter I employ”. Although it would be funny if I were a hyperliterate 8 year old, I suppose.

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