GRANDPA IS TYPING AGAIN!  4:53 pm July 13, 2009

Meanwhile, On Chuck Grassley’s Twitter

by Jim Newell

Chuck “I’m no NAIL” Grassley want 2 fix health care/kill ChrRangel 4ever butt mex judge need fixin 2, ES BUZY. [Chuck Grassley's Twitter]


Hola wonkerados.

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ElectricRelaxation July 13, 2009 at 4:56 pm

The second tweet was meant for his D&D character sheet (he’s an Elven Rogue!)

OKLAHOMAjesus? July 13, 2009 at 4:58 pm

I’m going to need a 12 year old girl to translate that for me, it looks like it was written by a 12 year old boy… maybe he had the kid twitter it for him after he had his hanky panky fun.

ph7 July 13, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Next: Grassley sexting his Iowa Corn Stalk.

azw88 July 13, 2009 at 4:59 pm

New entry for the Urban Dictionary needed. I suggest:

TWIT-er: a moron (aka a TWIT) that uses Twitter to try and carry on bi-partisan talks.

Snarkalicious July 13, 2009 at 5:01 pm

And for his next trick, he’ll be pushing legislation to make shitty english the national language.

Min July 13, 2009 at 5:02 pm

I’ve been thinking about this whole Anti-Christ thing, and I’m pretty convinced that it’s the guy who invented Twitter.

The Station Manager July 13, 2009 at 5:02 pm

“If you watch the Supreme Court nominee on television before the Judiciary, you will notice that I will be there most of this week.”

There, and that’s with 10 characters to spare! Just because it’s 140 characters or less doesn’t mean you have to sound like a borderline-retarded teenage girl with ADD.

CorkPopper July 13, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Jesus Christ, my 16 year old babysitter writes more eloquent text messages than what this guy twats out. GEORGE WILL WHERE IS YOUR OUTRAGE OVER THIS INDIGNITY.

Come here a minute July 13, 2009 at 5:04 pm

Try teh vl, tip yr wtrsses.

mookworthjwilson July 13, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Is Chuck Grassley a LolCat???

Yes You Can Own A Piece of History July 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

LHfkjhuiar!!!sekfgk%4? Let’s talk.

iantenna July 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm

this is the most confusing craigslist personal listing i’ve ever read.

SayItWithWookies July 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Grassley, oddly enough, voted yes on a bill to make English the official language of the US government.

Which is sort of like voting for the Endangered Species Act while eating a cheetah steak with bald eagle soup.

Extemporanus July 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

b4 u r so quick 2 criticize the senator’s spelling, u should find out whether he is just trying 2 b like his favorite musician, Prince.

In fact, isn’t “I b there most of this wk” a line from “Erotic City?”

mrsixinch July 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm

C D B. D B S A B-Z B.
William Steig beat Twitter by decades.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 13, 2009 at 5:12 pm


Spncr Pratt QT. Want him 2 do anal. I b hiz cornholey.

about 12 hours ago from txt

mrsixinch July 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm

[re=361301]iantenna[/re]: Would it help if it was listed under “M4M”?

Snarkalicious July 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=361304]Extemporanus[/re]: Hly 5ht, Prince s gst twt 4 sn graz? OMG, m frkg out!!!

shortsshortsshorts July 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=361290]CorkPopper[/re]: You have a babysitter? How old are you?

Clancy_Pants July 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Maybe “i b there” is his feeble attempt to get with the Michael Jackson crowd?

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I’ll be there

paintitblack July 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

[re=361282]azw88[/re]: TWIT-er: a moran (aka a TWIT) that uses Twitter to try and carry on bi-partisan talks.
There: fixed it. And: yes.

S.Luggo July 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

“Enjoying thick chocolate malt at North English Malt Shop”
Speaks for itself.

NoWireHangers July 13, 2009 at 5:22 pm

The fuck. I doubt neither a 13-year-old texting pro or Prince would understand that gibberish.

Clancy_Pants July 13, 2009 at 5:23 pm

My personal fave from @ChuckGrassley : “Can anybody tell how to get digital KWWLtv News I’ve got converter box. I want watch Lex Steele”

Clancy_Pants July 13, 2009 at 5:24 pm

My bad.. I guess he meant Ron Steele… Or did he?

rocktonsammy July 13, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Its pure joy watching the republican train about to wreck while they’re tweeting at the wheel.

We’ll never get back the 20 years we lost with Reagun/HW/JR.

Soon they will be gone forever and all they’ll have left is Palin to go to for creditability.

S.Luggo July 13, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Grassley’s tweets lack the Argentinian-like passion of Newt’s.
From my translation, Gingrich is running an escort service for Iraqi and African males seeking hot Latina jurists.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP July 13, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Where the heck are the Sarah Palin Stories today!?

Oh, and Twitter this Chuck:

Extemporanus July 13, 2009 at 5:34 pm

[re=361302]SayItWithWookies[/re]: He is a member of The Gourmet Club, is he not?

[re=361292]Come here a minute[/re]:
“Try teh kmdo, tip yr wtrsses.”

hobospacejunkie July 13, 2009 at 5:38 pm

When ur dick, everything is buttseks. I am not dick!!

nappyduggs July 13, 2009 at 5:38 pm

“Twitter: making old rich white dudes sound like Buckwheat.”

Suds McKenzie July 13, 2009 at 5:42 pm

“I the sntr who had hands on D Brooks inner thy”

bago July 13, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=361346]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Thats not what you said last night!

Clancy_Pants July 13, 2009 at 5:43 pm

[re=361347]nappyduggs[/re]: I just Strom Thurmond was still around to twitter.

finallyhappy July 13, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Where is my Mark Sanford resignation story?!!

JohnnyMac July 13, 2009 at 5:50 pm

Too bad Chuck’s schoolteacher sister isn’t alive to rap his knuckles for such horrid/lazy typing.

orange July 13, 2009 at 5:53 pm

he’s not even trying

orange July 13, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Enjoying thick chocolate malt at North English Malt Shop
11:52 AM Jul 2nd from txt

Hahahahah. He’s fucking a black guy.

Politicartoons July 13, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Why do these old fools continue to demean themselves with Teh Twitter? How, as a citizen who follows politics, does it help me to know what a Senator does b4 a hearing?

JadedDIssonance July 13, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=361301]iantenna[/re]: [re=361322]S.Luggo[/re] <— There’s yer M4M Ad.

ogradybt July 13, 2009 at 6:11 pm

He’s saving all his vowels for marriage.

Holding Out for a Hero July 13, 2009 at 6:13 pm

Maybe it’s from spending the last 8 years listening to W babble on in a language other than English, but I understood all of that.

Now I haz a sad.

NYNYNY July 13, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=361355]Clancy_Pants[/re]: lulz–thrmd 2legit2twit “F E ha bn prznit wdnt hd L probz” FTW!

norbizness July 13, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Holy shit, he had himself a strizz-noke in his brizz-nain.

Extemporanus July 13, 2009 at 6:33 pm

[re=361346]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Eat a bag of nails, toolbag!

nightshift July 13, 2009 at 6:36 pm

I think Grassley is ‘sucking the tit’ of Twitter.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 13, 2009 at 6:37 pm

The only people I know that type like that are on the Crack or the Meth. Chuck, are you on the Crack or the Meth?

AnglRdr July 13, 2009 at 6:38 pm

This is why I shall never Twitter or twat or whatever: the potentiality for looking like a complete douchebag is too great.

zebubull July 13, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Smaller group at Marengo Rotary Club.Spme nonmembers attended.Same issues brought for discussion. Docter and lawyers present
11:24 AM Jul 2nd from txt

He even shortens “Doctor” to “Docter” to save chars.

One Yield Regular July 13, 2009 at 7:15 pm

Underaged page jokes aside, to what audience, exactly, is Grassley pitching this stuff?

Hedley Lamar July 13, 2009 at 7:54 pm

It’s the modern equivalent of Jack Webb trying to sound hip on Dragnet. Good for laffs.

norbizness July 13, 2009 at 8:27 pm

[re=361493]Hedley Lamar[/re]: (sniff) MARIJUANA!

slinkimalinki July 13, 2009 at 8:27 pm

“how hi taxes go to satisfy u” indeed, big boy.

A Better American Than YOU July 13, 2009 at 9:30 pm

1) Mark Sanford had staff do all this while he was on the Appalachian Trail.

2) Ensign hired his ho’s teenage son to “consult” with the Republicans.

Ergo: Grassley b havin yungins (mebbe grndchillun) on payrol — or Michael Steele.

El Pinche July 13, 2009 at 10:20 pm

[re=361462]zebubull[/re]: Lower ASCII code totals, means less memory. Duh!. But you libtards wouldn’t know anything that. spend. spend. spend.

$20 says republicans are dicking around with Twitter five years from now when it will be the Altavista of social networks.

zhubajie July 13, 2009 at 10:40 pm

I thought he was busy investigating the possibility TV evangelists cheat their viewers.

Zhu Bajie

ElitistMarxshits July 13, 2009 at 11:37 pm

[re=361331]rocktonsammy[/re]: exactamundo

naveed July 14, 2009 at 12:33 am

english plz

lulzmonger July 14, 2009 at 1:02 am

plz disrgrd that top 20% hold 84.% of wealth. lol! all that lettuce buyz ya some sweet taxshelterz baby. also grssly blws goats & is a fckstck also, call me.

Guppy06 July 14, 2009 at 3:34 am

So… Chuck is going full Galt and trying to protect the income of the wealthiest 1%?

LoweredPeninsula July 14, 2009 at 5:18 am

The only thing more offensive then his use of lolspeak is the complete trash he unleashed upon Sotomayor and the public, today. If I have to listen to one more conservative white guy speak of his anger and horror about Sotomayor’s “empathy” I’m going to puke. ‘Cause, how dare she allude to the fact that she’s going to judge every case equally that comes before her instead of giving special preference to white males. Yes, it’s the first latina judge evah that’s going to be racist and prejudice, not the near entire pack of white men who oversaw the court until very recently. GAG.

CorkPopper July 14, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=361312]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’m sure this will go unread due to too old thread, but I am an old lady of 42 w/3 kids. Yes, reading Wonkette at work.

HuddledMass July 14, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=361799]CorkPopper[/re]: I think shortsX3 is asking if you are the babysat? Translation to Republican = r u 5?

CorkPopper July 14, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=361837]HuddledMass[/re]: Oh. Got it. I meant “the babysitter I employ”. Although it would be funny if I were a hyperliterate 8 year old, I suppose.

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