Wonkette
TODAY WAS A COMPLETE WASTE OF THE U.S. SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE’S TIME, AND AN INSULT TO BASEBALL AND AMERICA: So many times today your Wonkette editors have prepared to write posts about the Sotomayor hearings, but it all just sucks too much, these people reading their pieces of paper. Maybe we should post a clip of the heckler interrupting Al Franken’s first hearing speech? How about no! Where is all the VIOLENCE? Anyway, this clip is the best distillation on the entire Internet of today’s evil Opening Statement Marathon. (Thanks, John Roberts!) [Gawker]
reading blindfolded? republicans obsession with balls? continued insistence on respect as if any else would be appropriate? A dude named Whitehouse? No funny? ok.
That clip on Gawker is awesome in that Sotomayor looks increasingly disgusted as time goes on. “Wait, I’m going to have to listen to all of these jackasses for the next few days? Is this really going to be worth it?”
She’s thinking (as am I) that if these assholes had to go through this process to become senators, the nation would be a much better place, because none of them could hand sitting trough that kind of shit without bitch-slapping someone silly.
The judiciary is baseball for lawyers, as ballet is for fairies.
“Don’t make us look stupid by striking down any of our laws. Even the unconstitutional ones.”
Jeff Sessions looks like “Rev Blowjob” in Bruno…
We voted for these stupid, lame motherfuckers? We are losers.
“If you’ll indulge me a sports analogy, a Supreme Court justice is like the big, rubber ball in ‘Smear the Queer.’ It neither designates who is ‘queer’, or, for that matter, who should do the smearing. And yet its sacred neutrality allows our children to engage in primordial urges of bestial violence and the bestowing of omega status within the confines of civility and social order.”
The most annoying part of this pantomime is not the tired sports cliches, or the Foghorn Leghorn accents, or the Frankenhatin’ spectators, or the barely concealed gynophobia/puertorriquenophobia, is that every one of the Senators knows exactly how they are going to vote. The questioning is just posturing for their constituents and the cameras. Just shut the hell up and vote now and save the speechifyin’ for the late afternoon CSPAN cameras.
Sotomayor’s zone is a little high and somewhat lenient on the corners, but since QuesTec came along she has been remarkably consistent.
SayItWithWookies: Yep.
loquaciousmusic: Yep.
mephistopheles jefferson: Third prize is, you’re fired.
mrsixinch: Hm. Did I just get ’smeared’? Fuckin’ activist.
Boring. Bullshit. When will the first right-wingnut leave the court?
You just know Lindsey”I ain’t gay”Graham just wants to call Judge Soto, spic.
SEPTEMBER 12, 2005
Roberts nomination hearing
SENATOR KOHL: One more observation, Judge, about your analogy of the judge as an umpire, neutral umpire. You’re 50 years old, you bring great life experience to the bench, Judge, and don’t you and all judges bring their own life experiences, their philosophies to the bench in deciding cases. Or would you have us believe — and if not you can correct that — that judges merely operate as automatons?
JUDGE ROBERTS: Not automatons, no, Senator. I appreciate that, that judges don’t. And of course we all bring our life experiences to the bench.
I think Sonia is one rocking chica, but that blue jacket if fugly.
While they would be loathe to admit it, I’m sure there is plenty of Republihand-on-Republidick violence taking place under the table. As Gov. Sanford will attest, the sound of uno mano fapping requires no translation.
mephistopheles jefferson: Truthfully, sir, your “…bestowing of omega status within the confines of civility and social order” is a turn of phrase most artfully rendered. You do justice to your Virginian namesake. The Mamet call-out was but a lagniappe to your bon mot.
I loved Sonia’s “bitch please” face during most of this idiotic idiocy. I want to apologize to her on behalf of the Judiciary Committee.
Well, shucks. I’m a sucker for a good lagniappe. That means ‘blow job’, right?
I just assume all Gallicisms are sexual in nature. Bon mot, indeed, ladies…
Scandalabra:
I’d hit it!
scotterl: and like Rev Blowjob, he’s fighting every waking minute not to start fellating every dick that walks into the room.
loquaciousmusic: not me- My senators are very liberal democrats. please thank me!
blader:
The jacket?
All of these bozos bring their life experience with them when they make a decision. Every person does all day long. It is called CRITICAL THINKING!!! It is one of the things they teach you in school. It is part of human nature.
lochnessmonster: exactly yet we know most senators are human/animal hybrids so their nature is quasi-human.
On the plus side of today’s wacko fest we got to see Jane Roe of Roe V. Wade interrupt Al Franken. At least he’s pulling the top line hecklers.
Can instant replay really make the judicial branch obsolete?
Study: Major League Baseball Umpires Call Strikes Based on Race. Also.
I, personally, was very impressed that not a single Republican asked her to clear away their coffee cups.
I like to be in America! Everything free in America! OK by me in America! I like to be in America!
NoWireHangers: Mmmm Hmmmm… Everybody gets the Bronx Stinkface from now on.. Fucking Justified!
As we all know, this isn’t about the Supreme Court, it is about the Senate Judy Committee and how the members want to bloviate about their critical role. It’s up to the nominee to tune out all that crap and not forget all the coaching he/she got from the WH. She just has to stick out a week of this junk and get confirmed before the August recess. The End.
That black wig does absolutely nothing for Helen Mirren.
lochnessmonster: No kidding. I love how they all magically have become Constitutional cyborgs, yet, Sotomayor is a flaming, racist, bigoted latina who has killed white men just because they looked at her the wrong way. ‘Cause, the Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid that someone actually admits that their background colors how they go about looking at the parties in a case. Somehow, that’s magically construed to mean is that she’s decided cases based purely on race. What a bunch of fucktards they all are. I have nothing snarking to say about this Kangaroo Court that are the hearings.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: FTW