Good luck battling the squid plagueThe world will always remember the day when the Obama presidency began its tragic downward spiral: the day that Dr. Sanjay Gupta, television’s handsomest authority on thyroid pills, decided that he wanted to “spend more time with his family” rather than Serve the Nation as surgeon general. Since then, Obama has been helplessly casting about looking for America’s Doctor and finding nothing but a swarm of venal insurance industry whores in white coats.

Until today! He announced that Dr. Regina Benjamin, in spite of a rather embarrassing lack of television shows, would be the new surgeon general. Dr. Benjamin is from Alabama, where the number one prescribed therapy for most ailments is “night crawlers.” She will be awesome!

Obama Selects Alabama Doctor as Surgeon General [Washington Post]

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  1. I think the Surgeon General should live up to their name and command an army of surgeons that go into dicey areas of the world and perform appendectomies with extreme prejudice.

  2. I think I saw the Amish surgeon general on a Life Alert commercial. He appears to be giving a contemporaneous endorsement of the Life Alert system, which is somewhat strange given that he died in his bathtub in an isolated farmhouse in Central Pennsylvania in 1991.

  3. Let’s hope she’s not been making up Healthcare cost numbers in a pathetic attempt to bullshit Michael Moore and not infuriated the GOPers and Fundies by telling them to masturbate more instead of screwing underaged kids/looking for sex in male bathrooms.

  4. One of her predecessors was pretty adamant about buffing the iguana as an alternative to sexytime. What’s this one’s position on, say, Fleshlights? The youth of America are waiting for guidance, Dr. Benjamin!

  5. [re=360854]paintitblack[/re]: I would hope that a wise African American woman with the richness of her experiences would, more often than not, make a better medical decision than a white male doctor.

  6. Jeffrey Rosen has a good piece against this new nominee who is clearly a Dumb. Well, he was going to do a good piece, but didn’t really have time. But a bunch of people who may or may not have known or ever worked with Ms. Benjamin said she tends to be all sassy and brown and “mmhmm” while neck twirling.

  7. The Republicans are going to pick up on that she seems to be somewhat careless:
    NPR – “On Jan. 1, [2006] Dr. Regina Benjamin’s rural health clinic in Bayou La Batre, Ala., was destroyed by a fire. The clinic was preparing to reopen after repairs that followed severe damage from Hurricane Katrina.”

    Do we really want person like this holding the nation’s scalpel? Think about it.

  8. This woman is obviously racist against white people with normal foreheads. How dare Nobama try to slide this through while everyone else is watching the Sotomayor execution.

  9. Coburn ended his remarks with “God bless you.” He was acting as an ordained minister, so these remarks will be stricken from the record, since they are protected by the religious confidentiality privilege. Now he will inspect her ladyparts as cheif OB/GYN of the Judiciary Committee.

  10. [re=360860]rereridiculous[/re]: Muslin aint a race,and aint neither socialism or that other what not the ‘preeznit’ is, ya ignint yokel. What this here is is aliens, but not the messican kind. Cuz messicans is Catholic and human to boot, and don’t go around probin ‘Muhrkin anuses. See, s’all bout gay murge.

  11. Uh-huh, just as I thought: Barry X chooses yet ANOTHER color-y person to elevate to an exalted position in his mad regime. What, he can’t find any decent WHITE people to do anything? Why oh why does our socialist president insist upon KEEPING THE WHITE MAN DOWN???!!!

  12. Yet another brain drain. Alabama will have two veterinarians and a deep tissue masseur named Floyd.

    Trial by Fire Issue: Colon elasticity and DIY vegan assplay.

  13. Jeez, that forehead! I wonder if she’d try to sell the space for advertising to some big health insurance company. Or maybe Life Alert.

  14. Yahoo! Alabama in the news for something good – someone has made a mistake.

    The only downside is there will be no one to care of working class folks in the next hurricane.

  15. [re=360984]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: Exorcisms is #1 in nearby Louisiana where Governor Sanjay Gupta wannabe Piyush Jindal performs them regularly.

  16. [re=360872]hobospacejunkie[/re]: A doctor should obviously pronounce Regina to rhyme with “angina” and “vagina”. What rhymes with Regeena? Worst of all would be if she pronounced it like my great aunt, (Ruh-GHEE-nuh).

    [re=361057]Godless Liberal[/re]: More than encouraged, it will be mandated (this is Socialist US America after all).

  17. [re=360968]MzNicky[/re]: Speaking as a white man, it is all cool with us, just as long as we are in charge of the money. (See Goldman Sacks earnings report out today, thanks Berry, we be cool.)

    (Of course as one who spends his time reading Wonkette et al. I myself got nothing except race pride and some hobo beans.)

  18. WHAT!!! Am I gettin it right? Oba-mao, the 44th chairman, Of the socialist states of America, has appointed a voodoo priestess for healthcare? Doomsday…

  19. Regina Benjamin and she’s not a Jew? I was expecting a certifiable Jew; give me my Jew, goddamnit!

    I should have known, though. Silly me; their aint’ no Jews in Banjobama. Also.

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