• May 27, 2012

Jill Biden Is Nobama’s Latest Victim

by Sara K. Smith  9:51 am July 13, 2009

Get well soon, Second Lady.Why does the president keep visiting grave physical injury upon women in the Democratic party orbit? First he breaks Sonia Sotomayor’s ankle, and then he forcibly removes Hillary Clinton’s elbow, and now the courageous Dr. Jill Biden has to go in for “shoulder surgery,” which you have to admit sounds pretty suspicious in the context of all these other incidents. Barack Obama: pleasant family man, or bone-snappin’ minotaur with a taste for the limbs of middle-aged women? OR BOTH??? [UPI]

{ 34 comments }

Monsieur Grumpe July 13, 2009 at 9:55 am

That’s what happens when you misapply a Vulcan nerve pinch.

charlesdegoal July 13, 2009 at 9:57 am

They may look like women but they break just like little girls.

rachelv July 13, 2009 at 9:59 am

he’s just trying to increase sales of muslin splints:
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1826649

WIDTAP July 13, 2009 at 10:02 am

Fie on Joe Biden for spending the day with his wife. You didn’t see the last Vice President abandoning his double-super-secret programs to spend time with the family. Priorities, man, priorities!

Servo July 13, 2009 at 10:03 am

Paid by the Socialist Medical Plan.

WIDTAP July 13, 2009 at 10:04 am

Also, I think Wonkette got it wrong. It’s not Barack Obama that would lay a beating down on any floozy who got close to the President.

SnarkNotFark July 13, 2009 at 10:04 am

NObama needs calcium to live. That is the secret of his hideous powers. You can see it in the freakishly white gleam of his smile. He leeches it from the vulnerable bones of middle-aged white women. Look for a government take-over of Wyeth (the makers of Caltrate) next. He puts the ‘O’ in osteoporosis.

God, Country, and Jail July 13, 2009 at 10:05 am

Especially suspicious because she is a doctor and therefore impervious to human injury.

Kenneth the NBC Governor July 13, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=360710]SnarkNotFark[/re]: Would have been funnier if you’d just left it at “He puts the ‘O’ in osteoporosis.”

SnarkNotFark July 13, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=360717]Kenneth the NBC Governor[/re]: I agree. I just wanted to work ‘osteoporosis’ in somewhere. Thank you for the editing tips. I am only recently realizing that Wonkette is so much more than a repository for topical wit. It also makes you a better writer, and in turn, a better person.
Amen

rereridiculous July 13, 2009 at 10:19 am

He’s working his way up the body, just like when he checked out that sweet Brazilian backside.

greywindz July 13, 2009 at 10:23 am

“Rise of the machines”

MostlyHarmless July 13, 2009 at 10:24 am

Calling Clinton and Biden “middle aged” is a huge huge compliment. And an overstatement. Also.

bago July 13, 2009 at 10:24 am

It’s all about the anals of ortho.

Todd Mecklem July 13, 2009 at 10:29 am

One by one, the ladies are going into the hospital for “minor procedures”–next think you know, they’re all pushing shopping carts around Whole Foods, smiling beatifically. We’ve seen this movie before.

Kingbee July 13, 2009 at 10:38 am

Joe Biden is 66, and Jill is 58?!! Who says only Republicans are pedophiles!

Min July 13, 2009 at 10:44 am

Minotaurs. You can’t take them anywhere.

Canuckledragger July 13, 2009 at 10:45 am

This wouldn’t happen if only Hopey boned the younger babes, who’re more pliable.

But Hopey insists upon boning women with “experience.”

sanantonerose July 13, 2009 at 10:46 am

Mmmmm wimmen bones. They make flavorful soups.

finallyhappy July 13, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=360710]SnarkNotFark[/re]: A tooth Fairy!! I voted for a Tooth Fairy. I saw them in HellBoy II.

Potater July 13, 2009 at 10:52 am

“He’s a decent family man”

Oh, McCain. If only you knew the truth…

norbizness July 13, 2009 at 10:56 am

I am looking forward to purchasing the Jerry Falwell Foundation VHS tape of “FUHRER OBAMA’S MOST DEVIOUS JOINT INJURIES,” preferably after seeing it proudly displayed on a card table at a rural Texas gun show.

norbizness July 13, 2009 at 10:59 am

P.S. Holy crap! Did Joe win her over after serenading her with songs of Constance Fry at the tennis club?

hobospacejunkie July 13, 2009 at 11:02 am

Nobama’s people & all of Congress should be allowed emergency room treatment only until he signs into law health care that covers every last American. Sorry, Jill. You’re a babe and all, but principles is principles.

Mr Blifil July 13, 2009 at 11:07 am

This is why cock slapping must be applied judiciously and with caution. Ankle, elbow, shoulder, uternine lining; there’s no telling where the damage might come when you are swinging pipe like Mand… I mean Obama.

finallyhappy July 13, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=360780]norbizness[/re]: isn’t he dressed like Andy Kaufmann in some SNL thing(although I get the Constance Fry reference)

nappyduggs July 13, 2009 at 11:25 am

Jillybean made the same mistakes those other broads did- she didn’t think Obama was in town when she walked outside the shed out back where they keep the second president and his old lady. She saw a black man coming and she clutched her purse. Obama casually approached her and said “I thought we’d made progress.” And then he beat the bitch with a hanger.

This does nothing to improve the relationship between old white chicks and black menotaurs.

BigDupa July 13, 2009 at 11:32 am

First rule of Michelle Obama Fight Club…. I have Nancy Pelosi, that Latina/Labor Sec., Janet Reno, and Chelsea Clinton in my FLOTUS Fight Club rotary league.

HipHopOpotamus July 13, 2009 at 11:34 am

[re=360737]Todd Mecklem[/re]: I’m goin’ with the Britney Spears-esque “going in for foot surgery” “coming out with DDs” theory, myself.

BMK July 13, 2009 at 11:41 am

Today, we’re all osteoporosis.

BlueStateLibtard July 13, 2009 at 11:58 am

OK, here’s the tote board for the next Dem woman to break something: Nancy Pelosi, 2-1; Chelsea Clinton 15-1; Donna Brazil: 5-2; Kathleen Sebuilus, 7-2. Nancy Pelosi is currently the favorite, as she’s in her 60s and likes to totter around on high heels.

Jumping Jim July 13, 2009 at 12:45 pm

She injured her shoulder cringing every time Joe opened his mouth to put his foot in.

DanJoaquinOz July 13, 2009 at 1:26 pm

“Barack Obama, pleasant family man or bone-snappin’ minotaur with a taste for the limbs of middle aged women?”

Perfect. Just perfect.

Bruno July 13, 2009 at 1:32 pm

And Sarah!2012!!! is losing her hair. It’s clearly this Muslin witchkraft

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