PEGGY'S WORLD  4:41 pm July 10, 2009

Peggy Noonan Chastiseth Thine Wolf-Childe Sarah Palin!

by Jim Newell

Thursdayington, July Nintheth. Sky Princess Peggington Noonington, famous to children for her sparkling, weekly collection-of-paragraphs in the Wall Street Journal business pamphlet, looks at the Street, 100 miles beneath her Park Avenue Penthouse. She seeth seven Motorcars velocitating through an Intersection of Roads, but no Mexicans. (One time, Peggy Noonan saw a Mexican.) Seven, an odd number: it meaneth, “Tonightington, I disliketh Sarah Palin, the Wolf-Childe, in my Writings of Politick.” Snort ye line of pepper and typeth, Peggington, for those who dareth Read.

Which is to say that Peggy Noonan’s column this week “makes fun of Trig Palin for having Down Syndrome,” in Internet jargon — in English, this translates to “criticizes Sarah Palin.” It’s a feisty, determined Madame we have this week. Perhaps, as scholar David Denby would put it, Peggy Noonan is a woman and Sarah Palin is a woman and one does not like the other, because of Vaginas?

So terse today, anywho! More Brooklyn than Britain, one might sayington, w/r/t the two places Peggy Noonan was born, simultaneously:

In television interviews she was out of her depth in a shallow pool. She was limited in her ability to explain and defend her positions, and sometimes in knowing them. She couldn’t say what she read because she didn’t read anything. She was utterly unconcerned by all this and seemed in fact rather proud of it: It was evidence of her authenticity. She experienced criticism as both partisan and cruel because she could see no truth in any of it. She wasn’t thoughtful enough to know she wasn’t thoughtful enough. Her presentation up to the end has been scattered, illogical, manipulative and self-referential to the point of self-reverence. “I’m not wired that way,” “I’m not a quitter,” “I’m standing up for our values.” I’m, I’m, I’m.

In another age it might not have been terrible, but here and now it was actually rather horrifying.

More (-ington):

What she is, is a seemingly very nice middle-class girl with ambition, appetite and no sense of personal limits.

“She’s not Ivy League, that’s why her rise has been thwarted! She represented the democratic ideal that you don’t have to go to Harvard or Brown to prosper, and her fall represents a failure of egalitarianism.” This comes from intellectuals too. They need to be told something. Ronald Reagan went to Eureka College. Richard Nixon went to Whittier College, Joe Biden to the University of Delaware. Sarah Palin graduated in the end from the University of Idaho, a school that happily notes on its Web site that it’s included in U.S. News and World Report’s top national schools survey. They need to be told, too, that the first Republican president was named “Abe,” and he went to Princeton and got a Fulbright. Oh wait, he was an impoverished backwoods autodidact!

America doesn’t need Sarah Palin to prove it was, and is, a nation of unprecedented fluidity. Her rise and seeming fall do nothing to prove or refute this.

“The elites hate her.” The elites made her. It was the elites of the party, the McCain campaign and the conservative media that picked her and pushed her. The base barely knew who she was. It was the elites, from party operatives to public intellectuals, who advanced her and attacked those who said she lacked heft. She is a complete elite confection. She might as well have been a bonbon.

“She makes the Republican Party look inclusive.” She makes the party look stupid, a party of the easily manipulated.

“She shows our ingenuous interest in all classes.” She shows your cynicism.

“Now she can prepare herself for higher office by studying up, reading in, boning up on the issues.” Mrs. Palin’s supporters have been ordering her to spend the next two years reflecting and pondering. But she is a ponder-free zone. She can memorize the names of the presidents of Pakistan, but she is not going to be able to know how to think about Pakistan. Why do her supporters not see this? Maybe they think “not thoughtful” is a working-class trope!

“The media did her in.” Her lack of any appropriate modesty did her in. Actually, it’s arguable that membership in the self-esteem generation harmed her. For 30 years the self-esteem movement told the young they’re perfect in every way. It’s yielding something new in history: an entire generation with no proper sense of inadequacy.

BAM BAM BAMMINGTON, SMACK, you’re nuts, Noonan, you’re nuts! Ha ha ha such an awesome column; too bad she will get sued by Meg Stapleton, on Twitter. THE CHILD HAS SPECIAL NEEDS, PEGGY.

A Farewell to Harms [WSJ]

 
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{ 163 comments }

Crank Tango July 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

“Political bullshit”

Truer words were never caught on an open mic.

Bearbloke July 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Have another drink, Peg…

Come here a minute July 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Levi Johnston is also an impoverished backwoods autodidact. Will Dame Peggingtonshire take him in and turn him into Eliza Doolittle?

slappypaddy July 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

the caribou barbie bonbon, a very thin shell of very milky chocolate surrounding a vast vapid center.

BlueStateLibtard July 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Peggy Noonan is taking truth pillz now?!?

KilgoreTrout_XL July 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Hahaha, holy shit I’m fucking floored over here. Your best Poonan column by far dude.

Clancy_Pants July 10, 2009 at 4:51 pm

Yea, from the table of my memory I’ll wipe away all trivial fond records, all saws of books, all forms, all pressures past, that youth and observation copied there; and thy commandment all alone shall live within the book and volume of my brain, Unmix’d with baser matter.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 4:51 pm

Peggy knew Ronald Reagan. She was a friend of Ronald Reagan. Sarah Palin is no Ronald Reagan.

magic titty July 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Wow. Who took away Aunt Peggy’s scotch?

Lascauxcaveman July 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm

“Now she can prepare herself for higher office by studying up, reading in, boning up on the issues.”

I’ve got an issue she can bone up on.

madtowngooner July 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm

What a librul eeleet Dame Noonerington is! Another whiskey with Perrier for her!

El Pinche July 10, 2009 at 4:53 pm

All kidding aside, Peggy needs to lay off Trig.
It’s disgusting.

jagorev July 10, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Peggy is so f*cking hot when she’s angry. Catfight!

Pithaughn July 10, 2009 at 4:55 pm

I like this part, because no matter what the repubs will always be the party of fear:
“Here are a few examples of what we may face in the next 10 years: a profound and prolonged American crash, with the admission of bankruptcy and the spread of deep social unrest; one or more American cities getting hit with weapons of mass destruction from an unknown source; faint glimmers of actual secessionist movements as Americans for various reasons and in various areas decide the burdens and assumptions of the federal government are no longer attractive or legitimate.”
Best to be ready with many thousands of various wmd’s cuz other coutries now have five or six.

V572625694 July 10, 2009 at 4:56 pm

“I think intellectuals call her working-class because they see the makeup, the hair, the heels and the sleds…”

Sleds? You mean like Flexible Flyers? Does Peggy mean that upper class types prefer toboggans?

Or does she mean “sleds” in the Kar Kulture sense: He, Julio…check out my new sled–it’s boss!

Hard to tell…

Accordion-o-rama July 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm

A woman scorned. Peggy wanted to join Sarah, Bristol and Levy in their “shallow pool” of “fluidity”, but they wouldn’t let her.

gurukalehuru July 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm

The logic stuns me.
Sarah Palin is stupid, Sarah Palin is stupid, Sarah Palin is stupid like all these damned kids these days, an American city is going to get nuked.
You’ve outdone yourself, Peggy.

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm

“Really, she is the most careless sower of discord since George W. Bush, who fractured the party and the movement that made him.”

I looked through some of her columns and she really hasn’t said anything boosting Palin since just before the election — but smacking Dubya is an entirely new thing, I believe.

This is like how a comatose person can break through the fog and suddenly sit up and start talking. The real question is, will she stay this way or gradually submerge back into her Vicodin, scotch and horse mucilage-induced somnambulance?

Monsieur Grumpe July 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Wow. Ronald Reagan went to college. My mind is truly blown.

magic titty July 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm

[re=359969]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: I’m going to have to vote for the one that began with Noonington stumbling to her “Dungeon of Medicines”…

V572625694 July 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm

“The world is a dangerous place. It has never been more so…”

Just a fucking minute here, Peggy. How dangerous was the world when we had 25 percent unemployment, Hitler sweeping across Europe, and half the US Navy sunk in Pearl Harbor? More dangerous than now? You’d think so.

Okay, back to the jokes. I just get tired of all this “These Are Special Times” crap. She knows better.

Jukesgrrl July 10, 2009 at 5:00 pm

“She might as well have been a bonbon.” Dame Noonington’s Best Line Evah.

[re=359973]Clancy_Pants[/re]: I placeth your esteemed writings in nomination for Comment of the Week.

mrsixinch July 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=359983]V572625694[/re]: No no no, its an acronym–”Self Loving Elitist Dipsomanics.”

TGY July 10, 2009 at 5:03 pm

GIVE ‘EM HELL, PEGS!

Goddammit.

qwerty42 July 10, 2009 at 5:04 pm

“She makes the Republican Party look inclusive.” She makes the party look stupid, a party of the easily manipulated.

“She shows our ingenuous interest in all classes.” She shows your cynicism.
yea, and very demons she denounces are lurking in ye comments. And they liketh Lady Noonington not.

ericblair July 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Big deal. Now she can say what she thinks of Sarah Palin, NOW THAT IT DOESN’T MATTER. Brave, brave Dame Noonington.

Also.

“In another age it might not have been terrible, but here and now it was actually rather horrifying.”

In what other age? You mean the long-ago time before they closed the Talbots on the Upper West Side?

Advocatus_Diaboli July 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm

The ladyington doth protest too much, methinks.

Also, jealous of Kristol much? Also.

S.Luggo July 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm

[re=359976]magic titty[/re]: Not to worry. The Duchess de Noonieville returns to form at the end of her column:
” Here are a few examples of what we may face in the next 10 years: a profound and prolonged American crash, with the admission of bankruptcy and the spread of deep social unrest; one or more American cities getting hit with weapons of mass destruction from an unknown source; faint glimmers of actual secessionist movements as Americans for various reasons and in various areas decide the burdens and assumptions of the federal government are no longer attractive or legitimate.” And an outbreak of twins.

mrsixinch July 10, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=359973]Clancy_Pants[/re]: Is that Hamlet? It has been years since High School AP English.

slappypaddy July 10, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=359982]Pithaughn[/re]: “faint glimmers” of secession? hell, the whole structure is way rickety. push it hard enough and the only way to get it to hold back together will be with copious slatherings of military glue (which can be cut for extension with paramilitary bonding agent).

time for a drink, a toast to the toasty future.

Pilate July 10, 2009 at 5:08 pm

The Freeper reaction to Levi is hilarious. Yes, how dare he slanderously allege that Palin quit to go make enough money on the rubber chicken circuit to run for President, when after her announcement the average Freeper reaction was “This is a good move because now she can go make enough money on the rubber chicken circuit to run for President.”

rereridiculous July 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Now that Noonan’s got the second-rate pun headlines down, she can write for Wonkette.

jasper f. krone July 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm

[re=359983]V572625694[/re]: I believe it’s “SLEDs”; this could be the proof of the Palin-Sanford link, afterall. Peggy’s done it!

Mumpedo July 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm

That wasn’t pepper she was snorting. Cocaine and gunpowder! Who needs PCP!

S.Luggo July 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=360001]mrsixinch[/re]: George Will.

nappyduggs July 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Boozy Noonstradamus claptrap nothwithstanding, I always get the feeling that Dame Noonington is waiting for her clown prince to come and save the world, and yes she must be the only one with a robotic vageen left alive to repopulate the scorched earth.

Aunt Peggy, why do you hate everyone else’s ovaries?

ladymacbeth July 10, 2009 at 5:12 pm

[re=359973]Clancy_Pants[/re]: something rotten indeed.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Check out the comments to her article. The True Believers are after Pegs now.

GIJoeIce July 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Abe Lincoln was an autodidact? I didn’t know he had to choke himself to get an orgasm.

S.Luggo July 10, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[re=360005]rereridiculous[/re]: I’m telling.

Suds McKenzie July 10, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Why do people still think she can\will\could “bone up” on policy-anything? The only thing she is EVER going to bone up on are the lyrics to Van Halen’s “1984″ album.

x111e7thst July 10, 2009 at 5:23 pm

[re=360007]Mumpedo[/re]:Brown-Brown (in Kigali anyway). What a way to clear the sinus.

widestanceromancer July 10, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Pegs should write her column from the bottom of a K-hole more often. She skeeted Les Miseralso like a porn star. Me likey.

as.the.world.burns July 10, 2009 at 5:25 pm

i think this is actually the second time i’ve ever heard her say something that i agreed with.
there must be some stars out of alignment, somewhere.

qwerty42 July 10, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=360013]chascates[/re]: this set them off. they are crazy and this was too much. By the end of the weekend they will be in a frothing rage. they are very emotional.

give us a bob July 10, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Neither Princeton or Fulbright would have much bearing on an individual’s capacity as an autodidact; they would only be opportunities.

Still, I’m confused by suggestion that Lincoln was not an intellectual, since such intellectuals “would need to be told” that Lincoln, not being one of those intellectuals himself, is this or that.

Law school, one term as a US Rep, not mention having to serve as President during a rather prolonged interstate commerce feud (and winning said feud). Evidently none of this qualifies one for status as an intellectual of whatever stripe.

Straw men! And intellectual straw men at that!

Dashboard_Buddha July 10, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Sled is a nickname for a snowmobile.

forgracie July 10, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Funniest commenter from her column:

“Sarah Palin doesn’t need the Republican Party. She can spend the next several years building a center-right Independent base and a new party infrastructure that will make the Republican Party more obsolete than it is now.”

I shit you not. Oh please oh please oh please.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 10, 2009 at 5:39 pm

[re=360013]chascates[/re]:
* * * Warning * * *
Do not attempt to understand this sentence without adult supervision:

“I don’t understand why Sarah Palin is decided to be less thoughtful or that the validity in attaining her viewpoints and stances on issues is any less valid then any other politician or person.”

I got nothing.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 5:39 pm

[re=360030]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I believe the accepted usage is snow MACHINE!

paintitblack July 10, 2009 at 5:40 pm

“She makes the Republican Party look inclusive.” She makes the party look stupid, a party of the easily manipulated.

Too little, too late, Dame Notrightintheadshire. Also, too: the party doesn’t “look” stupid and easily manipulated, it IS that way. Get it right, Peggetha. How ’bout no more half truths, or is that too stone cold for ya?

Aquannissiwamissoo July 10, 2009 at 5:40 pm

What I would give to be the celery spear in her Bloody Mary.

trickyrick July 10, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Nooonianshire does not think Sarah comes near her idol Ronald. Only the best for the 21st century, none of those impostors, my word.

mrsixinch July 10, 2009 at 5:45 pm

[re=360037]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Oh God, I pray you mean the drink…

magic titty July 10, 2009 at 5:45 pm

[re=360000]S.Luggo[/re]: “The Rapture, give or take.”

Glad to see she’s still got it.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 5:45 pm

But Blue Texan on Firedoglake points out who Peggy loved similar qualities in George W. Bush:
“Mr. Bush speaks of God and George Washington and Reagan, and the elites find it unsophisticated. But for many citizens it will be good to see in leadership one of such simplicity, grounded in such realities, respecting of such wisdom.”

“Americans do not think Mr. Bush has a persona to dazzle history, they think he is the average American man, but the average American man as they understand the term: straight shooter, hard worker, decent, America-loving, God-loving.”

“Mr. Bush, as we all know, has a tendency to mispronounce words, like a bright and nervous boy trying to show the admissions director that he’s well-read. His syntax is highly individualistic. He’s bouncy and affectionate and funny in a joshy way as opposed to a witty way. But he is, almost transparently, a good man.”

A Better American Than YOU July 10, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Jajaja. She said “Sarah Palin graduated in the end.” Or as Michael Steele would say: “Sarah Palin got schooled in the butt.”

Aquannissiwamissoo July 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm

“She was limited in her ability to explain and defend her positions, and sometimes in knowing them. She couldn’t say what she read because she didn’t read anything. She was utterly unconcerned by all this and seemed in fact rather proud of it: It was evidence of her authenticity. She experienced criticism as both partisan and cruel because she could see no truth in any of it. She wasn’t thoughtful enough to know she wasn’t thoughtful enough.”

Dear Pegger O’ My Heart: This is a dead-on description of your own God Head, Reagan.

Except he was a big black hater. Also.

Min July 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Her presentation up to the end has been…self-referential to the point of self-reverence.

And Fruity Peggles would certainly know self-reverence when she sees it.

S.Luggo July 10, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=360014]GIJoeIce[/re]: Win.

[re=360027]give us a bob[/re]: Law school? This is Illinois we are talking about. Back then, law school was another name for reformatory.

Anyway, Honest Abe clerked. No attendee no law school. That was only for elitist, East Coast hippy abolitionists/collectivists.

Wugou July 10, 2009 at 5:56 pm

I wasn’t sure if her use of “autodidact” was meant to be ironic in the context of that paragraph or if it was just and example of Peggingtonhamshire’s superior breeding and education (a la George Will).

momus July 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Wow! She even mentions the Palin’s lone move, the dick-for-brains swap that strippers are also so good at, “She makes the party look stupid, a party of the easily manipulated.”

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 10, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Dame Peggy writes with unusual clarity. It is indeed a good day. Still, I think She and Palin should settle this in ye ol’ fashion way by wrestling in vegetable oil. On pay per view. It would do wonders for the economy.

Still…. “you don’t have to go to Harvard or Brown to prosper….” Brown?

[re=360014]GIJoeIce[/re]: Little known fact: Lincoln was the inspiration for the Kwai Chang Caine character in Kung Fu. It was while doing his research for the series that David Carradine first learned about choking himself while masturbating. Also, no one ever did see Lincoln’s birth certificate. Also.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 10, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[re=360049]Wugou[/re]: Peggy wouldn’t recognize “irony” if it date-raped her every night.

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2009 at 6:05 pm

[re=360027]give us a bob[/re]: Lincoln never went to law school — couldn’t afford it. He passed the Illinois bar exam in 1836, but studied for it himself.

[re=360042]chascates[/re]: Okay, she doesn’t really know why she dislikes Sarah Palin — although no neocon can be expected to hold to normal human standards of reason, either. But while Dubya at least had the daddy connection (high-born and elitist at that), he came across as a tough country bumpkin, which was reassuringly masculine. Sarah Palin doesn’t have the connections but only the bumpkinness, which means she has no deep-seated roots in Republican establishment. Which means there are absolutely no consequences to saying she doesn’t like her.

And there’s no balancing tough stereotype to go with Palin’s lowbrowness — there’s no female John Wayne in our national psyche for her to tap into. Thus Palin has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, just the grating stupidity of the occasional low-born characters in a Henry James novel.

So basically Noonan dislikes Palin because Palin’s a non-elitist woman.

shortsshortsshorts July 10, 2009 at 6:09 pm

“Palin is a terrible failure.” Palin is a terrible failure.

June Cleaver 2.0 July 10, 2009 at 6:10 pm

“Here are a few examples of what we may face in the next 10 years: a profound and prolonged American crash, with the admission of bankruptcy and the spread of deep social unrest; one or more American cities getting hit with weapons of mass destruction from an unknown source; faint glimmers of actual secessionist movements as Americans for various reasons and in various areas decide the burdens and assumptions of the federal government are no longer attractive or legitimate.”

Peggy knows her peeps. But note also, the warning (or hope) of a hit from outside the U.S. Peggy, dear, if we get hit, it will be from one or more of your peeps.

Wugou July 10, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=360052]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: If she’s date-raped every night by irony, does it just become regular “rape?” Or does it become consensual? I’d look it up but I’m too lazy to autodidactify myself with the internets.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 10, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Apparently Dame Peggy is wrong, as Ann Coulter on Fox News just proclaimed that Sarah Palin’s quitting speech was as clear as can be, and she didn’t use notes or a teleprompter, which is strange, as she wrote it out and used a teleprompter and still made no sense.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=360057]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: I think Pegs would be happen for these bad things>/b> to hit our country. As a Catholic (as are O’Reilly, Hannity, and 6 of the Supreme Court) she feels we’ve gotten away from God and should be chastised in his Love and Mercy.

Plus if people only listened to her everything would be just fine. Except for the poor, who will be with us always, amen.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm

My bad. There are only 5 members of the Supremes currently. Sotomayor would make 6.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 10, 2009 at 6:24 pm

[re=360055]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “Palin is a terrible failure.” Palin is a terrible failure. And neo-conservativism is also a terrible failure. Republicans wanted to keep looking outside of the US to declare more targets for democracy while liberals asked for some self-reflection that could have actually enhanced the US. Sorry [snark] reinitiated.

Bebe Loves You July 10, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Lady Nooning is mad at Sarah Palin, and Sarah is mad ad Lady Noonington. I hate it when mommies fight.

user-of-owls July 10, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Tricky son-of-a-gun, that “Abe”, what with somehow managing to win a Fulbright nearly a century before they were created. Unless I missed something and we’ve had a Republican president secretly named “Abe” since 1948 when the first Fulbright was established.

Monsieur Grumpe July 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=360033]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]:
I ran it through a gibberish translator and this came out:

She be stupid.

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2009 at 6:53 pm

[re=360070]user-of-owls[/re]: That would be Abraham “Teddy Roosevelt” Reagan, who freed the slaves, built the Panama Canal, went big game hunting in Africa, fought Barack Hitler and Hussein Tojo when everyone else was appeasing them, conquered the Evil Empire and then retired to his cowboy ranch in the wilds of Bel Air before being lifted heavenward by The LORD on a fiery chariot.

iolanthe July 10, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Wow. I agree with Peggy, even about the roving bands of insane secessionists to which she alludes.

But, as others here have pointed out, she found the same qualities, the same inadequacy and incuriousity, absolutely charming in her crush, Ronald Reagan.

She is correct in her assessment of the current situation.

But she has not yet realized how very much she and other Repub media folks have contributed to it. Peggy dear, you are reaping what you yourself have sown. The chickens are coming home to roost. The other shoe is dropping. You are hoist by your own petard. Your starry-eyed hero worship sowed the seeds of this thing. I applaud you for your sudden insight, but, with all due respect, my darling: choke on it, and … we told you so.

Pop Socket July 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm

My dream tag team cage match would be Peggy Noonan and Maureen Dowd against Sarah Palin and Ann Coutler. Refereed by Katie Couric.

user-of-owls July 10, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=360074]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s not what MY wiki said about the Great Enunciator. I just figured Abe Vigoda was our Chief Executive for a patch but no one noticed because Paris Hilton had a four-year zit.

user-of-owls July 10, 2009 at 7:09 pm

[re=360075]iolanthe[/re]: Discrepancy is easily explained: When inadequacy and incuriousity are attached to a penis (however withered), that gets Peg “gooey at the fork” as we used to say. When connected to a vertical clam, Peg’s nethers and rhetoric issue a collective ‘meh’

Scandalabra July 10, 2009 at 7:12 pm

There’s a great, under-appreciated Elias Kazan movie called “A Face in the Crowd”. It needs to be reassessed in light of the Palin phenom. Netfilx it–it’s very good. I hope the ending for the Snowbilly Grifter is as awesome as what happens to the (yes) Andy Griffith character.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 7:13 pm

[re=360082]Scandalabra[/re]: Outstanding movie! You’ll never think of Andy Griffith as the goody-two-shoes type again after you see this movie.

BlueStateLibtard July 10, 2009 at 7:16 pm

They’re going nuts at redstate.org over this. The guy killing her is hilarious, taking poor Peggy to task for teaching her son to say “Excuse me,” and telling him not to sneeze over people. He also thinks everyone in New York is rich, rich, rich!!! Even if you’re a cab driver, secretary, shop clerk, office drudge, etc. you New Yorkers are all just a bunch of rich elitist snobs!

iolanthe July 10, 2009 at 7:17 pm

[re=360079]user-of-owls[/re]: Ah. I was hoping it was nothing so pedestrian. But she isn’t the first person whose brain turns off when other parts are turned on.

AnnieGetYourFun July 10, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=359987]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I love the word somnambulance, but you, my dear, have simply taken it to a new level. Bliss!

iolanthe July 10, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=360085]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: The redstate guys are hilarious. Just as they cannot quite decide whether Obama is a Godless Babykilling Marxist Atheist or a Secret Mecca-Salaaming Islamic Extremist, neither can they quite figure out if we Liberals are all sushi-scarfing elitist latte-suckers or a bunch of low-life welfare recipients or, worse, people with Government Jobs, feasting off the carcasses of deserving hard-working taxpaying honest basement-dwelling rednecks.

user-of-owls July 10, 2009 at 7:23 pm

[re=360088]iolanthe[/re]: Oh dear, we’ve ample supporting evidence for that theorem as of late, haven’t we?

“You just won national elected office! What are YOU going to do?!”

“I’m going to Argentina…and my parents are picking up the bill!”

chascates July 10, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Nothing on Fox News or Fox Nation about Pegs; she’s one of the gang. And Drudge has nothing. He’s headlining THE ROVING EYE OF NOBAMA with numerous taunts. I bet Kristol & Barnes rag on Peggy on the Sabbath Gas Bag shows.

vitamins taken helmet on July 10, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Hey! You guys be nice to Ms Palin -she’s way smarter than we will admit. She went to 4 colleges you know.

That’s 2 more than most of us I’ll wager!

Lazy Media July 10, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=360027]give us a bob[/re]: Lincoln did not go to law school. Lincoln, who largely taught himself to read and write, taught himself the law by reading books. And history. And spherical geometry, and pretty much anything else ever put down in writing. He was the pre-eminent railroad lawyer when they were inventing railroad law (kind of like being an Internet law expert in 1990). And reinvented oratory. Dude was probably the smartest person since Isaac Newton, and infinitely more wise about human relations than Newton.

[re=360083]chascates[/re]: Andy Griffith is AWESOME in that, and the character is much closer to Andy’s real personality than Sheriff Taylor or Matlock.

donner_froh July 10, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=359991]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Great line but I go with “She makes the Republican Party look inclusive. She makes the party look stupid”

paintitblack July 10, 2009 at 7:42 pm

[re=360053]SayItWithWookies[/re]: & [re=360042]chascates[/re]: Yes, Peggles lurved her sum Georgie boy, rationalizing away his many outstanding and obvious inadequacies as if they were superior strengths to which we should all aspire. And yes, like, Sainted Ronnie, W made it bc of his connections, of which Bible Spice has none. The only thing superior about W is that Daddy got him to where Daddy wanted him to go.

Speaking as an X-chromosome-type, myself, methinks Peggington is engaging in ye olde catte fighte and is addled w/female jealousy combined w/her own self-esteemed, self-referential superiority. I sees it alla the time, and if it stinks like a dead moose, it is a dead moose.

Clancy_Pants July 10, 2009 at 7:55 pm

[re=360001]mrsixinch[/re]: Act 1, Scene 5

Gallowglass July 10, 2009 at 8:10 pm

Tell us what you really think Peggy.

You know I thought the “vicodin martinis” gags were us having a bit of sport with ol’ Peggers, but the the hazy, befuddled way she wrote everything up ’til now seemed to support the notion that she was taking painkillers and Ambien from a Pez dispenser and washing them down with highballs.

Then she comes through for us her. Sharp, clear, to the point (she actually has one this week!) and for once, mostly on target. Her “these kids today” garbage at the end doesn’t fly, since the Snowbilly is in her mid 40s, but overall the most readable thing the good dame has seen fit to print.

ForTheTurnstiles July 10, 2009 at 8:16 pm

[re=360098]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah. Newton whiled away most of his hours trying to sort out Biblical prophecy. Kind of a distraction from the whole science thing.

schvitzatura July 10, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Palin: snowmachinedidact

Torak Nahtz July 10, 2009 at 8:28 pm

“Her lack of any appropriate modesty did her in.”

Ha ha. AKA, “Slut!”

TCDang July 10, 2009 at 8:33 pm

So sad we’re left with thin weekend gruel
Too much Peggington
Not enough Newell

Paul Tardy July 10, 2009 at 8:39 pm

Good catch on the sleds, Lady Peggington must have seen actual working people using a sled on that trip she took to Amish country.

rsynnott July 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm

Okay, I still love these Noonington columns, but they are perhaps becoming a bit over the top? [ington]

imissopus July 10, 2009 at 8:58 pm

You can bet when that “deep social unrest” spreads to Park Avenue, Pegs will be up in her impregnable fortress of a penthouse behind bulletproof glass, three-foot-thick titanium steel walls and doors, several hungry and ill-tempered Rottweilers, and with stores of enough scotch and Xanax to keep her occupied through the Rapture. Woe be the Mexican nanny who attempts to shelter from the angry mob by knocking on Pegs’ door!

rocktonsammy July 10, 2009 at 9:01 pm

I keep comparing Palin with Danika Patrick, hasn’t won much and won’t shut up.

MortSinclair July 10, 2009 at 9:04 pm

[re=360051]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Indeed. She must have penned this little gem from the rarefied heights of some mountain-top aerie where the air is thin, dry, and brittle–sort of like the neurons the occasionally fire in her cerebellum. No static, white noise, humidity, or noxious odors.

desertwind July 10, 2009 at 9:08 pm

Ouch!

She called Palin “very nice.” Oooooo. That’s gotta hurt.

rocktonsammy July 10, 2009 at 9:10 pm

[re=360132]rocktonsammy[/re]:

But hawt as hell.

Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof. July 10, 2009 at 9:11 pm

All that crap about democratic vs. egalitarian ideals? That’s a shot right across the bow of the S.S. Misogynist Neckbeard. Oooh, will Ross respond in kind? Rightwing Pundit Thunderdome!

Bebe Loves You July 10, 2009 at 9:15 pm

oh, Lady Noonington! A riddle, wrapped in a simplistic enigma inside a delightful tautology.

? ev'rything July 10, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Where’s Willow? Where’s Bristol?
Is it possible to get mono in the Summertime?

facehead July 10, 2009 at 9:22 pm

Bosom envy.

finallyhappy July 10, 2009 at 9:24 pm

[re=360091]iolanthe[/re]: I’m one and three- sushi, latte, gov’t employee and damned right, I am elite(or maybe Times New roman)

Atheist Nun July 10, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Nooners: “Everything that comes out of Palin’s mouth is WHARRGARBL. Republicans should shut up and vote for the Ronald Reagan, when we can find another one of those.”

2 Tequila Shots And A Bongload, For Margaret Ellen “Peggy” Noonan, And Her Newfound Insight. HUZZAH.

hoosiermama July 10, 2009 at 9:36 pm

I call BULLSHIT Nooners! I’d like to see how hawt YOU look in bustiere-high waders, half-assedly helping stern lads pull in a net of crappies or whatever’s running in Alaska right now. You are SO jealous that Sarah is the People’s Fishwife and you will never, ever, be as popular.

trickyrick July 10, 2009 at 9:37 pm

[re=360075]iolanthe[/re]: The end.

S.Luggo July 10, 2009 at 9:44 pm

[re=360041]magic titty[/re]: Give.

BlueStateLibtard July 10, 2009 at 9:45 pm

[re=360113]Gallowglass[/re]: So you’re saying Peggy’s in detox? Makes sense.

hobospacejunkie July 10, 2009 at 9:51 pm

[re=359990]V572625694[/re]: Special times indeed. Not yet, Peggs, despite you & your brethren’s fervent wish for a an American city to be nuked. Even at her most lucid, when she can clearly see Bunnybrain for what she is, Peggs can’t resist leavening reality with a thick, vulgar coat of hopeful fear. She remains a party loyalist cunt, looking forward to the day US America asks for the idiot republicans to come back and ‘keep us safe,’ willfully forgetting that they never managed to do so in the first place. Fuck you, Peggy.

2druk2phluq July 10, 2009 at 9:52 pm

shortsshortsshorts: David Brooks has a secret admirer! Bad Doggy! Do not hump David Brooks leg!

S.Luggo July 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm

[re=360037]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Or:
- the spoon in her Coke
- the prescriptiom om her pad
- the double A in her massage wand
- the commitment order for her residential placement
- the silver ring piercing her right nipple
So many aspirations, so much competition.

Come here a minute July 10, 2009 at 10:22 pm

The picture accompanying Dame Peggingtonshire’s column is just crying out for alt-text, e.g., “Blow us a good-bye kiss, Sarah dear, and never again darken the door of the Republican Intelligentsia.”

worrierqueen July 10, 2009 at 10:37 pm

Great article Peggy, very sensible, which is why the Republican party will ignore you completely. The Republican party fell off the sensible branch long ago, and is now curled up in a ball in the corner snarling at all and sundry and generally displaying very special needs.

BlueStateLibtard July 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm

[re=360152]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Next desperate Republican campaign platform: “Elect Us Or You Will All Be Nuked”

LoweredPeninsula July 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm

Peggy Over-the-Hill has hated Palin since Day 1, so this is not a surprise. Unfortunately for her, I can’t take her seriously because her aversion of Palin stems from something other than Palin’s inanity, and not even from some ideological difference. She hates her because Noon-time-drink-an is actually an elitist, which is a very rare breed, but one that actually does exist.

Sorry, nothing snarky, here. I hate Noonan even more than I hate Palin, and that’s a pretty amazing accomplishment if one knows how much I disdain Palin.

zhubajie July 10, 2009 at 11:55 pm

[re=359988]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yep. Got born-again at a tent revival there, too, which is why he (like GWB) thought he was destined to usher in the Rapture and the Second Coming.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:00 am

“Here are a few examples of what we may face in the next 10 years: a profound and prolonged American crash, with the admission of bankruptcy and the spread of deep social unrest; one or more American cities getting hit with weapons of mass destruction from an unknown source; faint glimmers of actual secessionist movements as Americans for various reasons and in various areas decide the burdens and assumptions of the federal government are no longer attractive or legitimate.”

Most of this has been predictable for 15-20 years, which is one reason I’ve lived in China for the last 12 years. (Other, better, ones: chinese food; China girls).

The mysterious terrorist attacks will be by angry secessionists, Born-agains pissed because of no Rapture (they’ll blame the Jews), anti-Gay activists certain G-g wants them to punish the US for being too pro-gay, etc., etc.

Think of the so-called “years of lead” in Italy as an example.

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:05 am

“Americans do not think Mr. Bush has a persona to dazzle history….”

Actually, he will dazzle (puzzle) future historians, the ones who don’t just laugh at him. The whole Second Gilded Age, Reagon onwards, needs a Tacitus or a Procopius.

Zhu Bajie, ancient historian

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:07 am

[re=360047]S.Luggo[/re]: Took payments from some customers in sex, too, or so says Herndon, his law partner for 20 years.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:09 am

[re=360047]S.Luggo[/re]: For what it’s worth, G. Washington had about a year in the classroom, total. He was apprenticed as a surveyer.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:11 am

[re=360043]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: zIf she’d graduated from vaginal to oral or anal, sh wouldn’t have so many children.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:18 am

[re=360098]Lazy Media[/re]: Memorized all the poems of Robert Burns, too. Did NOT become ‘born-again’, in spite of numerous preachers, after his death, claiming to have led him to Christ.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:21 am

[re=360115]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Probably had Aspergers or something similar.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 12:22 am

[re=360131]imissopus[/re]: But she’ll be raped, robbed, killed by her own servants. Quis custodiet ipsos custodos?

Zhu Bajie

LoweredPeninsula July 11, 2009 at 1:51 am

zhubajie,

Do try and reply to multiple people in as few posts as you can. It’s possible, you know. Jeeze.

Bruno July 11, 2009 at 3:06 am

I love the pixxx of Snowbilly in the WSJ. Plus the “Country First” branding. Country First! That’s what quitting office for $$$ is all about.

nutcracker July 11, 2009 at 3:37 am

I feel a savage, atavistic, primitive need to see Peggy Noonan and Sarah Palin DP’d by Nacho Vidal, Ron Jeremy, Erik Everhard, and Randy West. I firmly believe that once this happens the earth will spin smoothly on its axis again, unemployment will drop to .14 %, Wall Street will thrive, I will win the lottery, and Erin Burnett will take my calls, and go to dinner with me at Tavern on the Green.

wavingnotdrowning July 11, 2009 at 3:55 am

Today on “As the World Burns,” Dominique Francon is played by Peggy “Captain Obvious” Noonan

lochnessmonster July 11, 2009 at 7:34 am

Ms. Peggy can write anything she wants but does she really think Ms. Sarah would read it? Or any of Ms. Sarah’s fawning followers for that matter? I think Ms. Peggy would be good as one of those little ankle biters with razor sharp teeth in a horror movie.

SlipperyDick July 11, 2009 at 7:36 am

Today, we are all impoverished backwoods autodidacts.

Witsendnj July 11, 2009 at 8:36 am

Dame Peggeth: Remember how your hero took the solar panels off the White House roof that Jimmy Carter put there? You should be forced to read: “What the Heck Are You Up To, Mr. President?” and then write on a blackboard 1,000 times “Mourning in America”!

Mapmonger July 11, 2009 at 8:43 am

[re=359983]V572625694[/re]: Not Kar Kultur. The youth call their automobiles “Whips” nowadays.

Mapmonger July 11, 2009 at 8:44 am

[re=360039]mrsixinch[/re]: WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!? Dude was totally not talking about the drink.

Mapmonger July 11, 2009 at 8:53 am

[re=360033]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: See, I figured, “What’s to understand?” Looked to me like Palin decided to troll the comments her own snowcougar self.

disgustedcitizen July 11, 2009 at 9:27 am

Ok, I give up. Is she for or against Caribou Barbie? Actually, I liked and agreed with the first paragraph, then the hold damn thing went off the tracks.

Minnie Mean July 11, 2009 at 10:10 am

HRH Nooningtonshire is a twisted, delusional psycophant! She provides the most reliable snark-fodder. And for that I love/hate her. Also.
When I read the 1st paragraph, I was shocked that she was saying something I agree with, in fact I think I got a bit nauseated from the sense of vertigo it created. Then I thought: Wow! If she believes this WTF!? Why would she not voice her concerns during the run-up to the elections and stop the snowbilly? Why does she hate America and want it to fail? WHY? Then I continued reading and quickly remembered: HRH Nooningtonshire is a twisted, delusional psycophant! And that answered all my questions.

Neilist July 11, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=360181]zhubajie[/re]: “The whole Second Gilded Age, Reagon onwards, needs a Tacitus or a Procopius.”

Juvenal, dear boy. Juvenal.

“The sound of young Peggington pissing into a bronze bowl, grinning . . . .”

Definitely Juvenal.

sezme July 11, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=359987]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “This is like how a comatose person can break through the fog and suddenly sit up and start talking. The real question is, will she stay this way or gradually submerge back into her Vicodin, scotch and horse mucilage-induced somnambulance?”

I don’t think it’s exactly like that. I think this is one of those rare occasions when her Valium and her bourbon were balanced in such exquisite proportions that sunlight shone in and allowed her true intellect to awaken. It’s all in the mix. Another possibility is that she wrote this column during that brief window of lucidity between coming down, and going back up.

[re=360125]rsynnott[/re]: Blasphemy! Do not attempt to discourage Newellington from disseminating the Noble Truthe!

sezme July 11, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=360299]sezme[/re]: Sorry, I meant to say “attempteth.”

Also, that photo in the WSJ column should be alt-texed, “You can all just kiss off into the air…”

sezme July 11, 2009 at 11:13 am

[re=360044]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: Pretty much the entire column could be directed towards Ronald Reagan as well. The main difference is he won, and did therefore not fail the Republican Party.

Servo July 11, 2009 at 12:52 pm

But she is a ponder-free zone.
Wow. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Not to dampen your “Eureka!” moment, Princess Nooningtonshire, but you’ve only seen one, small nugget of the veritable mine of Palin’s “-free” zones.
Also, who is this White Knight of the GOP that you speak? I see nothing but a band of misguided thieves and fools.

Scottie July 11, 2009 at 1:55 pm

[re=359982]Pithaughn[/re]: Dude, it will only take 5 or 6 well placed Nukes to take us to Mad Max land.

the lady MS. Sheila Dixon July 11, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=360329]Scottie[/re]: Why do freepers use the Mad Max analogy? I think Red Dawn has more connecting dots. Isolated whites, Scary (sexy) black guy and guns galore. Co-incidence? I think not.

Neilist July 11, 2009 at 6:14 pm

[re=360345]the lady MS. Sheila Dixon[/re]: I LOVED “Red Dawn.”

“WOOOOOOLVERRRRRRRRRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

spandrelmatic July 11, 2009 at 8:13 pm

[re=359973]Clancy_Pants[/re]: and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. Also.

Just sayin’.

Numbat Dundee July 11, 2009 at 9:01 pm

[re=359975]chascates[/re]: Sarah Palin IS Ronald Reagan – with a vagina. That’s what make’s Dame Peggy’s denunciation, while accurate, curious.

sezme July 12, 2009 at 8:18 am

[re=360388]Numbat Dundee[/re]: Reagan’s penis won two terms in the white house. Palin’s vagina lost. This makes Reagan and his penis, stubby and superannuated though it was, winners.

what tha? July 12, 2009 at 9:00 am

Now that Priggy Noontithington has had a Come to Jesus Moment about Sharia Palin, could she please do the same for Joseph the Plumberbottom? Will he be Sharia’s running partner in 2012 or will she be running/quitting whenever she damn well pleases? Do Tell.

what tha? July 12, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=359966]Come here a minute[/re]: Methinks Dame Peggy hath growneth tired of the little plaything of the Republican Party. The Palin story hath grown tiresome and it was all in good fun like Tom Ripley, but now it maketh the good Dame’s powdered wig feel too tight at the temples. Little Sharia Palin must fly away now, in her little tattered moose pelts and pine cone earrings. The white hosiery crowd have finally betrayed their real feelings about their tarted up wolf girl, and want her to return without complaint to her quaint ways in the woods, and not bother the brave Republican Thinkers, who know not to wipe their greasy lips on their lace sleeves.

It was fun, now we are done with you, Miss Crowd Inciter! Off you go!

VTG July 12, 2009 at 12:57 pm

After reading all of this dribble, the quote below is all I can think of.

In the middle classes, where the segregation of the artificially limited family in its little brick box is horribly complete, bad manners, ugly dresses, awkwardness, cowardice, peevishness and all the pretty vices of unsociablity flourish like mushrooms in a cellar. GBS

Bruno July 12, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=360227]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: [re=360191]zhubajie[/re]:

But this helps with the page view count.

PAbitter July 13, 2009 at 3:26 am

[re=360181]zhubajie[/re]: It needs neither. Both of them were gutless wonders who brown-nosed the tyrant of the moment and then wrote nasty things about them later to salve their conscience. Although to be fair to Procopius, he actually got sick of being such a sorry excuse for a man before Justinian kicked the bucket and wrote a history in secret (sic) that probably could have gotten him killed. I’d go for another Juvenal, or another Ammianus Marcellinus (sorry Gibbons, but A.M. was an amazing writer).

Also, since this is Wonkette, I’ll leave you with this delicious tidbit from Suetonius, on Nero
“he was even married to this man in the same way that he himself had married Sporus, going so far as to imitate the cries and lamentations of a maiden being deflowered.”
in other words, Buttsecks!!!!!

MathewBrooks July 13, 2009 at 8:47 am

BEST ever!

AnAdmirerOfThatOne July 13, 2009 at 3:43 pm

[re=360051]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I would pay tall chedda’ to see that!

AnAdmirerOfThatOne July 13, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=360075]iolanthe[/re]: Her uppance has come.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP July 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm

I like how this story is progressing.

See our newest pages: http://abookaboutdeath.blogspot.com/

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