• May 26, 2012
WHY SHE RESIGNED

July 10, 2009

Johnston: Palin Is Just A Fame Whore

by Sara K. Smith  

Nobody pulls off a sweater vest like Levi.Levi Johnston made quite a name for himself by impregnating that Palin daughter (NOT PIPER YOU MONSTERS) and then going on the Larry King Live occasionally and grunting out a few monosyllables in between commercial breaks. “Yes. No. I don’t know.” But yesterday he held a NEWS CONFERENCE at his lawyer’s office to reveal the SHOCKING TRUE SECRET behind his ex-girlfriend’s mom’s resignation from the Alaska governorship.

“She had talked about how nice it would be to take some of this money people had been offering us and you know just run with it, say ‘forget everything else,’” he said.

You know, money attached to book and TV deals. Apparently Sarah Palin was really excited about her book deal, which tells you everything you need to know about literacy, publishing, and the state of the written word in America today.

Anyway, that was his big revealing observation, that Sarah Palin wanted to make money from being famous and was too lazy to be governor at the same time. Scandal.

Levi Johnston: Palin resigned to cash in on fame [AP]

{ 127 comments }

pink triangles July 10, 2009 at 9:39 am

Concerning Piper:

Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.

Decker July 10, 2009 at 9:42 am

NOT PIPER YOU MONSTERS

How could you even suggest that? Now you’re going to get Ziegler protesting outside the Internet for your KEYBOARD RAPING.

Robotmonster July 10, 2009 at 9:42 am

PINK TRIANGLES YOU MOUTH RAPIST

ManchuCandidate July 10, 2009 at 9:43 am

I’m stunned. Positively stunned. The knobs at SarahPAC and RedState and dozens of other contarded websites had me BELIEVE that she was the real deal who would lead the rebellion against the ebil (sic) empire of NoBama. A true Red Dawn Wolverine.

Nope, she’s just Paris Hilton Wolverine who would shit on your grave and eat their own young for an extra bit of fame and internet up-the-skirt coochie shots.

Canmon (the Inadequate) July 10, 2009 at 9:45 am

How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm after they’ve seen Paree.

Wet Work July 10, 2009 at 9:46 am

5 Fame Whore Diamonds!

Actually the kid makes sense – explains the the Friday afternoon before the 4th of July before the MJ Funeral press drop. Ham-fisted money-grab from start to finish.

Make that 5 MONEY Whore Diamonds!

ph7 July 10, 2009 at 9:46 am

Time to monetize Snowbilly Grifter®, Wonkette!

Speed Ball July 10, 2009 at 9:48 am

KEEP WONKETTE AWAY FROM PIPER

MOG July 10, 2009 at 9:48 am

I’m so disappointed, totally thought she’d lead from the wilderness to the land of milk and honey. And all white people all the time, and Bible readings all day long (when not shooting moose and eating salmon sashimi off the ass of a great looking stud guide). *sigh*

Wet Work July 10, 2009 at 9:49 am

[re=359404]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Nope, she’s just Paris Hilton Wolverine Cougar.
Fixed, you’re welcome.

Cape Clod July 10, 2009 at 9:50 am

[re=359404]ManchuCandidate[/re]: She is going to be pretty formidible when she gets those ademantium claws.

Naked Bunny with a Whip July 10, 2009 at 9:50 am

At least Levi isn’t a sell-out! *swoon*

InsidiousTuna July 10, 2009 at 9:51 am

[re=359399]pink triangles[/re]: Isn’t that a Nirvana song?

forgracie July 10, 2009 at 9:52 am

Holding a news conference at your lawyer’s office = fame whore. also.

TGY July 10, 2009 at 9:52 am

An attention whore? Who isn’t? And especially blog posters.

ManchuCandidate July 10, 2009 at 9:56 am

[re=359412]Cape Clod[/re]:
I don’t think they used adamantium for claws. Hint: five kids.

norbizness July 10, 2009 at 9:59 am

“There are eight million stories in the Alaskan wilderness…”

“No, there’s only about 640,000 Alaskans.”

“Shit, there are 750,000 Austinites. What a pissant state.”

comicbookguy July 10, 2009 at 10:00 am

Wolverine, you can’t date Caribou Barbie, you’re from two different worlds. My god, I’ve wasted my life.

rereridiculous July 10, 2009 at 10:01 am

Let’s see: Palin isn’t under investigation, but resigns for the money. Blago was completely guilty of everything imaginable and not, and doesn’t resign, but still gets the money from fame. Conclusion: Anti-Blago was discreeeminted sexually by librals who don’t like a strong woman.

Manos: Hands of Fate July 10, 2009 at 10:03 am

She quite being governor because it interfered with her plans to by a big house in Beverly Hills where she could let her Alaska wild children roam free and pile up tons of new snow mobiles on her front lawn.

Anita Cocktail July 10, 2009 at 10:06 am

He got rid of the mullet, said no to the shotgun wedding, and now is ratting out Bible Spice? I’m beginning to like Levi more and more.

Come here a minute July 10, 2009 at 10:07 am

It would makes perfect sense that the snowbilly grifter wants to retire on her hockey-mom-governor-scam earnings, but the hastily-called press conference and nervous delivery still don’t add up. There must be some “peeling off” the campaign trail that is still not exposed.

InsidiousTuna July 10, 2009 at 10:08 am

[re=359422]comicbookguy[/re]: Best. Comment. Ever.

Monsieur Grumpe July 10, 2009 at 10:08 am

I’m all for giving her lots of money if she’ll shut up.

SnarkNotFark July 10, 2009 at 10:10 am

Yay Republitards!!!

I’m voting for Johnston/Chapur in 2012. They keep the hot side hot and the cold side cold.

ExecutorElassus July 10, 2009 at 10:11 am

Hmm, I don#T buy it. Watching her backyard presser/barbecue, she looked nervous and upset as hell. Why would she be so twitchy if the whole speech was just a front for a snatch-n-grab? If that were the case, she’d be all, “fuck you people, Alaska is awesome, I’m going hunting, basketball or whatever, etc.” and walk out with nary a care. She looked more like she was trying to talk her way out of a meth bust, while coked out of her mind.

Come to think of it…

pat robertsons personal trainer July 10, 2009 at 10:15 am

today, we all are half-literate, bomb-throwing, opportunistic grandmothers of children borne out of wedlock (ironically considering their foisting personal views on human sexuality in moral context into the public sphere), who quit their day jobs at the slightest hint of a better grifting gig. all of us, we are.

also, MONORAIL to NOWHERE!!! (i wish conan still wrote for the simpsons.)

InsidiousTuna July 10, 2009 at 10:16 am

Asked if he would vote for her if she ran for president, Johnston said: “I think she’s a great lady, but after seeing what she did now, you know, leaving Alaska, I would have to say, ‘no.’ Obviously she’s stressed out as governor. I mean moving up to the vice president or president is huge. I just don’t think anymore that she’s cut out for the job.”

Levi’s fucking awesome.

Mild Midwesterner July 10, 2009 at 10:18 am

“tells you everything you need to know about literacy, publishing, and the state of the written word in America today.”

It’s also sad that Levi appears to be Alaska’s intellectual beacon.

memzilla July 10, 2009 at 10:18 am

(*ahem*) Already called it, as comment #1: http://wonkette.com/409643/so-why-did-this-crazy-palin-lady-quit-the-alaska-governor-job-she-just-started-two-years-ago.

Levi is recycling old Wonkette items as news? Why does Levi hate America?

mjwilstein July 10, 2009 at 10:19 am

Here’s the video of Levi’s press conference, via AP:
http://www.gotchamediablog.com/2009/07/levi-johnston-throws-sarah-palin-under.html

Servo July 10, 2009 at 10:20 am

She could get the money for her new cement pond by simply switching to GEICO.

Yaybuls July 10, 2009 at 10:21 am

“Levi Johnston for Levi Jeans”:

Levi: “No other Jean shows my tin of Skoal through the back pocket like Levi’s.”

(Voiceover by Toby Keith playing over footage of Levi and Brett Farve playing slow-motion catch football): Trust Levi jeans. A real man’s denim.

Levi: “It’s pockets are big enough to hold my massive wallet which contains countless letters from Sarah Palin’s legal team, as well as all my skteches of what a want my next tattoo to be. I’m thinking of griffin flying away with the whole Palin clan in it’s clutches, wrapped around my middle finger.”

pat robertsons personal trainer July 10, 2009 at 10:24 am

[re=359406]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: also, the Dude: “Boy. How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm once they seen Karl Hungus.” The Dude Abides.

Jumping Jim July 10, 2009 at 10:24 am

This is why Communism failed… there was no money in it. I guess with the guvernmint owning everything, Conservatism will fail… no money in it.

rmontcal July 10, 2009 at 10:25 am

[re=359399]pink triangles[/re]: Hoo-boy, you can rhyme! Everyone is very impressed.

Jeebus…

hobospacejunkie July 10, 2009 at 10:26 am

Hi ho Levi! Hells yes he tells it like it is. They done fucked him out of his share, and won’t let him see his own flesh & blood. I’d check my brake lines every time I drove my car, Levi, just sayin’. Snowturd ain’t gonna let you get in her way of cash munnies.

But I agree with everyone else. Something else is going on here. Usually when something this big happens you hear rumors beforehand, trial balloons about the governor “not being happy with her job.” This was totally out of the blue. None of her supposed reasons make any sense, and her attempts at clarification only muddied the waters further. I just hope she can hang on until the first primary. I so want to see her absolutely crushed in an election, to see the realization of the end of her political career, the finality of it, suddenly register in her eyes, for her to understand the smushshmortion of a human being she is. Too much to hope for, yes. But hope I will.

ivenson July 10, 2009 at 10:30 am

Nothing gets you more redneck street cred than bad mouthin’ your baby’s grandmother ON TV.

joezoo July 10, 2009 at 10:32 am

Oh deary dear. Now Sarah will be forced to spend HOURS of her valuable time (and MILLIONS in Alaska taxpayers’ money) responding to Levi, in dozens of poorly written stream-of-consciousness press releases (i.e. “tweets”).

wildeoats July 10, 2009 at 10:34 am

Give Levi a little credit, though — someone associated with Palin who can speak in a complete sentence. How refreshing, also.

Min July 10, 2009 at 10:34 am

If I had known we could pay her to go away, I’d have written a check.

SendLawyersGunsAndMoney July 10, 2009 at 10:40 am

Levi Fuckin Johnston can barely read, and his word is so important? Come to think of it, Bunnybrain is in that same catagory. Shit, looks like I live in a land of Hillbillies. Really, there are some in Alaska that beat the shoe-size IQ rating test…just give me a minute, I’ll find them. Oh, that’s right, they all work for BP or Conoco Phillips. Nevermind, just nuke us please…

A Better American Than YOU July 10, 2009 at 10:41 am

Levi Johnston, Kato Kalin for a new generation.

CorkPopper July 10, 2009 at 10:41 am

Of all the surprising results of the surprising 2008 election season, I think the likeability of Levi has to be the surprisingest. You keep tellin’ it like it is, Levi. Just don’t accept any offers of hunting trips with babymama’s family, K?

NCBluebelle July 10, 2009 at 10:42 am

maybe she’s peri-menopausal. oh won’t this be fun…

DangerousLiberal July 10, 2009 at 10:48 am

[re=359410]MOG[/re]: No chance she’d lead us to the land of milk, at least, considering as Governor she did nothing to help rescue the state’s one and only dairy, Matanuska Maid (which is a reference to the milk, and farmers, not to the biker chick cooking meth behind the trailer). Now, all the milk comes from out of state and costs like $6 a gallon, also.

If Levi said this in a blog, would Caribou Barbie’s Big, Scary, Anchorage Lawyer threaten him with a Big, Scary, Anchorage Lawsuit?

zenferret July 10, 2009 at 10:49 am

I hear Sarah is planning an affair with Sen Ensign. Todd is aboard but with it.

Wet Work July 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Godot July 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=359412]Cape Clod[/re]: It’s go-time also bub, you betcha!

paintitblack July 10, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=359479]zenferret[/re]: Beat me to it! Imagine the whore diamonds the Snowbilly Grifter could score from Mama & Dadday Ensign. No doubt, Caribou Barbie is green w/envy over that Hampton broad’s grifting. Makes what Bible Spice hadda do to grab her munies look like hard work in comparison.

Also, too, I think there’s ‘nother shoe to drop here. That weird, breathless, nervous presser outta the blue. My sweetie kept saying: she’s on drugs! she makes no sense! Something’s up, but hooray for Mr. Levi Jeans: keep up yer own pressers, Levi, it’s comedy gold for us in the lower 48. Just watch yer back, dude.

Barry White Zombie July 10, 2009 at 11:06 am

Headline: Johnston: Sky Is Blue

Crank Tango July 10, 2009 at 11:07 am

[re=359428]Come here a minute[/re]: Exactly! I bet she is still shitting her pants over Housegate. Even though the feds say they aren’t investigating it, that doesn’t mean she and the Dude aren’t guilty and waiting for the axe to fall. I mean come on, the odds that they didn’t get free shit for that house are astronomical.

PS apologies to the real Dude.

hobospacejunkie July 10, 2009 at 11:11 am

[re=359437]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: i wish conan still wrote for the simpsons

Hear hear! I loved the Simpsons when it was funny. And strange, bizarre, random, talked up not down to you. I can barely manage a chuckle these days, watching it out of habit, if anything. It’s contributed so many catch phrases to the snark and larger world yet how many from this decade?

Homer: Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa’s teeth, he gets to break yours.
Grampa: Oh, this is gonna be sweet.

Rajul July 10, 2009 at 11:16 am

Hey now, our Sarah may be a whore, but she…wait, what was that first part?

the problem child July 10, 2009 at 11:17 am

And the calm, professional, measured “no comment” kind of response from the soon-to-be-ex governor?

“It is interesting to learn Levi is working on a piece of fiction while honing his acting skills,” Palin family spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

Oh Stapletongue, you crack me up EVERY DAMN TIME!

Todd Mecklem July 10, 2009 at 11:18 am

If Sarah won’t confess why she resigned, she’ll be sent to the Village.

There she’ll have to live with the Village People and read the Village Voice.

notKeith July 10, 2009 at 11:20 am

Where can I get me one o’ Ms. Palin’s books? are they available yet? Or did the LIBRULS outlaw them or something? You know, once they outlaw Sarah Palin’s books, only Sarah Palin’s books will have outlaws.

Rajul July 10, 2009 at 11:21 am

$10 says she makes at least a cameo in “Who’s Nailin’ Palin Too?”

Not_So_Much July 10, 2009 at 11:23 am

Did Levi drop out before they covered irony in high school?

Mumpedo July 10, 2009 at 11:24 am

[re=359399]pink triangles[/re]: Really Pink, you should have stuck with Lettermans original A-Rod theme and said:

If there’s grass on the field, play ball.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 10, 2009 at 11:26 am

[re=359454]ivenson[/re]: [re=359483]Wet Work[/re]: Dammit, you both beat me to it. Mind you, if you booked Levi and Snowbilly Grifter for a Thunderdome Death Match, it would be a ratings BONANZA.

Lilybart July 10, 2009 at 11:26 am

Kudos for Cement Pond!!

Here is another Hillbilly reference that seems fitting”

Jethro: what do you do?
Mr. Drysdale: I am the president of the bank.
Jethro: Can I be president of a bank too?
Jed Clampett: Jethro don’t insult him, ask to be Vice President.

finallyhappy July 10, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=359511]Lilybart[/re]: wait, I’m getting a picture here– they had a bloodhound and the sister was named Elly Mae and they all talked funny. I get it- Boner is the son of Elly Mae Clampitt and the dog. What is his show called?

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2009 at 11:35 am

In Alaska there’s two kinds of crazy — there’s the crazy from it being night all winter long and then there’s the crazy from it being light all summer. Remember, we weren’t introducted to Palin until August — but I’ll bet Palin’s got both kinds of insane, and sooner or later it’s going to crack her open like an overripe melon.

Gopherit July 10, 2009 at 11:36 am

fame whore is the new american dream

Bearbloke July 10, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=359449]hobospacejunkie[/re]: No no – Palin must PREVAIL, and save AMERICA FROM THAT EVIL KENYAN INDONESIAN MUSLIN FASCIST COMMUNIST IN JESUS’S WHITE HOUSE… if the GOP voters are too in the tank for NOOBAMA, then Palin will have to start her OWN party – yes, that’s it, start her own party, in Jan 2012, just in time for the first 2012 primaries…

Below the Beltway July 10, 2009 at 11:37 am

Bo is just angry that Daisy’s going to get rich for winking at those big city boys, while he’s left with nothing but a broken down truck, a child support bill, and the one thing they still share — a burning desire to extend their already-attenuated 15 minutes of fame.

Gorillionaire July 10, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=359449]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Agreed. Hope she goes head first into the primaries, hires Turdblossom Inc to run her campaign, cock teases Hannity six times a week on live TV, and then flames out spectacularly the very first month of voting. I just might start drinking for “fun” again!

Gopherit July 10, 2009 at 11:50 am

famewhoredom: The new american dream.

Lascauxcaveman July 10, 2009 at 12:04 pm

[re=359421]norbizness[/re]: “There are eight million stories in the Alaskan wilderness…”

“No, there’s only about 640,000 Alaskans.”

Well, that just makes it 125 stories per Alaskan. Which totally explains the incomprehensible word salad every time Palin opens her mouth. She’s trying to tell all her stories simultaneously.

Over a hundred stores apiece. Who knew Alaskans were such Chatty Patties?

JadedDIssonance July 10, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Looks like Holly got her $50 for the powder-room.

octupletsmom July 10, 2009 at 12:21 pm

640,000 Alaskans each sending Sarah a $12,000 check to STFU? How much is that?

imissopus July 10, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Hell hath no fury like your daughter’s redneck baby daddy scorned.

Homer: If you don’t start making sense we’re gonna put you in a home.
Grandpa: You already put me in a home.
Homer: Then we’ll put you in that crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes!

nightshift July 10, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Can we get Levi a contract with a gay porn studio? I see either that or Faux News pundit in his future.

slappypaddy July 10, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Mud-wrestling in the unfrozen tundra. In this corner, La Lucha de la Cabeza de Vaca, and in that corner, the Don’t-Fuck-With-Me Kid.

whatever_dc July 10, 2009 at 12:43 pm

if sarah leaves, who’s gonna protect us from the evil ruskies? we need a fence there NOW!

andy369 July 10, 2009 at 12:53 pm

“If you don’t answer the question, we’ll have to gag you.”

“What?”

“Gag him.”

Mapmonger July 10, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=359596]nightshift[/re]: Are these mutually exclusive? I think most Faux News reports would be improved by buttsexxing.

rocktonsammy July 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm

The next time SP has her nets in the water, she’ll be fishing out Levi face down with salmon shoved in each orifice.

Tommmcatt July 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Enough with this bullshit. When is Levi going to pose nude for Mandate or Blueboy? That’s what I came here to find out, Sarah.

RoscoePColtraine July 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=359596]nightshift[/re]: I soooo called him first. Way back when we saw him as the rough, tough, foul languaged hockey player. I didn’t care he was no good for me. Levi, you bad boy you.

Seriously, if we can get Levi out of the fuckin woods and down to West Hollywood, show him a good time, buy him a few beers, rip on women being a buncha biznatches…reckon he might loosen up and go gay?
[/silly Levi crush]

WesternCorrespondent July 10, 2009 at 1:08 pm

[re=359400]Decker[/re]: Well, little Piper had that odd pooch-out of her stomach under the dress she was wearing at Palin’s quitting gummint….er, resignation….er, stepping-down speech last Friday.

Although, it IS conceivable that, as a joke on her mother, she put on the “square pillow” fake pregnancy pad that her mother had been wearing in February and March last year.

Scottie July 10, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Like, who didn’t know this was a “fame” money grab from day one?

Scottie July 10, 2009 at 1:11 pm

[re=359640]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: NOt a chance. You know you’re either wired that way or not at birth.

WesternCorrespondent July 10, 2009 at 1:12 pm

[re=359404]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Palin came pretty damn close to a “coochie shot” when she bent over on stage at that “Autism Walk” speech she gave back in New York state in June.

She was wearing a miniskirt (well, it was short, about 4 inches above her knees) and her new red cork-soled summer sandals, the ones that showed off her red toenails with the sparkly stars on them. She bent over to take the sandals off and put on her brand-new never-been-worn not-even-”running” running shoes.

Boop-boop-de-doop. (sound of cymbals crashing)

WesternCorrespondent July 10, 2009 at 1:19 pm

[re=359471]NCBluebelle[/re]: She probably was 2 years ago, Bluebelle. That was one of the rumors that no one except Wasilla Alaska citizens and Alaska bloggers has been paying attention to (i.e., Bristol being pregnant in late 2007-early 2008).

Zorg July 10, 2009 at 1:20 pm

[re=359399]pink triangles[/re]: The way I heerd it, it goes “Old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher.”

WesternCorrespondent July 10, 2009 at 1:22 pm

[re=359496]Crank Tango[/re]: Technically, it was only the FBI that said they weren’t investigating Sarah Palin.

That doesn’t mean the FBI isn’t investigating Todd Palin, or that the IRS or the ATF isn’t investigating the pair.

And as a matter of fact, when has anyone ever heard of an FBI agent spontaneously getting the attention of the media and issuing a statement on a holiday weekend denying an investigation? That’s sooooooooo weird.

The Legend of TeaBagger Vance July 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=359445]Yaybuls[/re]: dude, Favre already does Wrangler. and he doesn’t switch teams. oh wait….

The Legend of TeaBagger Vance July 10, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=359446]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: you haz a problem with deine cable?

iolanthe July 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm

[re=359438]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Levi is smarter than he looks. (He looks like Li’l Abner, and I mean that in a *good* way.) I’m beginning to have some hopes for that kid. He may actually have a mind of his own.

Itsjustme July 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm

[re=359469]A Better American Than YOU[/re]: Levi Johnston for Alaska Governor!

greg July 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=359408]ph7[/re]: shockingly, snowbillygrifter.com is still available.

cal July 10, 2009 at 2:06 pm

When does Levi start doing porn?

Ideally gay porn?

nightshift July 10, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=359640]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Thats four yeahs and one “hell yeah!”

pat robertsons personal trainer July 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm

[re=359686]The Legend of TeaBagger Vance[/re]:

ich bin karl. i am exsch-pert.

you see where this is going.

he fixes the cable?

Tommmcatt July 10, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=359735]cal[/re]: [re=359596]nightshift[/re]:

Great minds….

Suds McKenzie July 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

at least he has the balls to say what all of us already knew. (Andrea (stammer)Mitchell) sorry i just puked a little in my mouth …

… and can someone drag Chris Mathews out of that bar ….

RoscoePColtraine July 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=359759]Tommmcatt[/re]: A few Ben Franklins and Levi might do ‘gay for pay.’?? We just need a fifth of Levi’s favorite booze. Might not even need the whole bottle if someone in the group can do a good Wasilla accent. Keep telling him how smart he is too.

Tommmcatt July 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

[re=359772]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

Add a hit of ecstasy and I bet we’d all get a ride.

Jesus, what a bunch of sick fucks we all are. Oh well, ne pense jamais, ne vous inquiétez

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm

But has A-Rod knocked up Levi yet?

Autochthon July 10, 2009 at 3:36 pm

[re=359779]Tommmcatt[/re]: Naaaaaaaaaah, he’d LOVE it! Young, dumb, and full of…PATRIOTJISM!

problemwithcaring July 10, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=359521]Gopherit[/re]: What was the old American Dream?

Aquannissiwamissoo July 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm

As a libtard myself, it does say something about the Ron Paulish-ness of a lot of libtards who are still desperately hoping for some “conspiracy” or “scandal” to be at the root of this, instead of it being … about the money and the shallowness.

Loosers.

Atheist Nun July 10, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Hey, Wonkette might want to reconsider giving that guest editor spot to Megs McMegs… Levi might communicate mostly in grunts and pot-fueled mumblings, but at least he knows how to dig the dirt!

ALSO: Sarah Palin’s new career path:

- Guest host for a variety of Fox shows, until even their most loyal followers realize she is a drooling, unintelligible psychotic.

- Burns through every reality show on THE TEEVEEEEE, (wins none of them because she quits every time)

- “Caught” on camera getting refused from all L.A. nightclubs on TMZ

- Series of interviews with local news correspondents, after she sees them on location and quickly drives to the scene and stands waving in the background until they interview her

- Hawks her jewelry line made of varnished chicken bones and tempera paint on QVC.

skutre July 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm

I dunno, everything surrounding the Palin splotch is more like a hit of really bad acid, even the all male buttsex. I don’t fear much in life, but you’ll never find me in Wasilla without a gun and a fast motorcycle.

ALSO:

Shannyn Moore, our favorite Alaskan, responds to savage weirdness from America’s brief flirtation with Frozen Cheesecake: A Snowbilly grifter turns on her own:
Palin’s attack on Freedom of Speech, the Bill of Rights, and Basketball.

http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner230.mp3

featuring the hit single:
Your Brain on Saracuda:
The sound of your brain deteriorating behind the onslaught of a mind-mangling Palin logic attack.
http://acksisofevil.org/audio/saracuda.mp3

Chuck Fildren July 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Why is the wonkette continuing to mouth rape sarah palin’s special needs babies?

AKAM80TheWolf July 10, 2009 at 5:11 pm

It should be against the law for Levi to speak while fully clothed.

chascates July 10, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Bristol Palin is just a whore whore.

Aquannissiwamissoo July 10, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Is Levi wearing a knitted vest in the pic? And what’s with the pencilled in pr0nstache ?

Dood continues to rise to new heights of Depp-ness.

Touched by an Uncle July 10, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Who cares, as long as he keeps looking like T.R. Knight with a molestache, I’ll keep watching.

assistant/atlas July 10, 2009 at 7:56 pm

I’ll take Levi to Vegas with me. We can have a threesome with Meghan McCain and everybody wins! (except me!)

? ev'rything July 10, 2009 at 9:26 pm

Is it possible for an Alaskan grizzly cub to catch one of those extended cases of mono? That’s one of the latest rumors going around.

assistant/atlas July 10, 2009 at 11:11 pm

Also, I pity whomever becomes his agent’s assistant.

LoweredPeninsula July 11, 2009 at 1:10 am

So, how many times did Levi have to hear that explanation before he was able to steal it, remember it, and utter it back to the media? Palin’s a media whore? You don’t say. Oh, and so are you, Levi. Also.

God, I wish there was an Inuit revolt up in Alaska. The “superior white race”? Really, Klan members?

Troubleshooter July 11, 2009 at 1:17 am

If Sarah Palin is a fame whore, then BO is just a plain male whore. He has “screwed” more people in this country then all the other presidents put together. He is not transparent, he is a non-eligible usurper. If he has nothing to hide, why all the lawyers and almost $1,000,000.00 spent on stopping the release of his birth-certificate? Barry Osama is greedy, power grabbing, power hungry, muslum traitor trying to destroy this country. I could care less if he’s black, white, red, yellow, pink, etc, etc, etc, he’s a traitor and a usurper, who has no business being in the White House until he proves he is eligible. Levi is a bone-headed, punk kid who is just trying to draw attention to himself. Sarah Palin is going to make a run in 2012 and she will restore some credibility back into our government, not by going around bowing to muslum leaders and apologizing to other countries, but by earning their respect, something mr transparent has no clue how to do or anything about.

villageatrois July 11, 2009 at 1:21 am

Yeah, it’s Piper. Bristol is soooo 2007.

zhubajie July 11, 2009 at 1:27 am

[re=359449]hobospacejunkie[/re]: It’ll turn out that not only is she not a US citizen, but a Russian spy! Leader of the Join-Canada Party, too!

Zhu Bajie

LoweredPeninsula July 11, 2009 at 7:01 am

[re=360216]Troubleshooter[/re]: Wonkette is so great for allowing Idiot-Americans to post on the site.

Now, why don’t you get back to sexing your low-functioning sister, you mutant offspring of mentally disabled hillbillies.

icedog July 11, 2009 at 1:33 pm

A-Rod’s got lots of money. And I don’t mind Levi so much, at least he seems the one honest one in this whole snowbilly saga… and he’s effin hot!

smellyal8r July 11, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=359427]Anita Cocktail[/re]: Levi for AK Governor in ’10! Hooray! I’ll bet the mother of his child would take him back then…

Troubleshooter July 11, 2009 at 11:14 pm

LoweredPeninsula; My my, is that the “liberal tolerance” all the libs talks about, or “gay tolerance” all the gays talk about? Well it’s all BS if it is, the libs or gays don’t want tolerance, they just want to “force” their agenda down Americans throats and those who don’t agree, you resort to name calling, which in turn shows a total lack of education. You said “Wonkette is so great for allowing Idiot-Americans to post on the site”, so I guess that is why you post here, therefore, don’t preach tolerance when you can’t accept what some-one says about Barry Osama, especially when it’s true. Like I said, I could care less if he’s black, white, red, green, purple, it’s about he’s not honest with the American people, he’s not transparent and he’s going back on his campaign promisess. Pretty sad when some-one points out these things about Osama and you resort to name calling, you must be a very angry, hateful, uptight, narrow-minded person who can dish it out but can’t take it. I’m laughing at the joke of an agenda that the libs claim will save this nation. I will be tolerant of your views, even if I don’t agree with them, I might even laugh at them but I won’t call you an uneducated, idiot-american, inbreeding red-neck, nope I wouldn’t do that. LOL

LoweredPeninsula July 12, 2009 at 12:16 am

[re=360415]Troubleshooter[/re]: What the fuck was that?

You better put your helmet back on while you’re typing, lest you injure yourself.

Bruno July 12, 2009 at 5:38 am

[re=360436]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: I think Grizzly Mama figured out how to use teh Wonkettes now.

Troubleshooter July 13, 2009 at 6:53 am

L.P.—Better lay of the kool-aid or at least go to the unsweetened brand, your getting to much sugar. Are you capable of writing something educated or does your lack of a high school education keep you from doing that.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP July 13, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Is there any truth to the rumor that Levi is running for Mayor of Wasilly?

Hepsabah July 14, 2009 at 12:42 am

[re=359449]hobospacejunkie[/re]: you’re an idiot. why attack Sarah Palin, what has she done? Everything you can’t do because your an impotent hack and she has been successful and has a platform and has beautiful children and has the admiration of millions and will make millions, (while your eking out a living with Social Security if it’s still putting out.) which she so richly deserves for what she has done for the Republican Boring Party, for these kind of blogs, for the libs and illhumored loser comedians that can’t even write a joke that actually makes people to laugh, ahhahhahh. why don’t you use really foul language now because you are such a disgrace to the English language you don’t even know how to make a point without the “F” word. Maybe you could take a writing class and learn how to express yourself in words with more than four letters.

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