THANKS IOWA!  3:25 pm July 9, 2009

Steve King Will Not Thank Slaves For Building The Capitol Because Of Photoshop, Lack Of Other White People Memorials

by Jim Newell

Ain't no slaves escaping through this shitCongress’ top-ranked asshole, Rep. Steve King of Iowa, has offered his rationale for casting the lone vote against a resolution to duct-tape an Etch-a-Sketch plaque to the assistant janitor’s closet wall in the $600 million+ subterranean Capitol Visitors Center, to thank the slaves for building the U.S. Capitol as part of their slave work.

He claims the resolution only reached the floor as part of a major legislative “deal” that, in exchange for its passage, would allow Republicans to Photoshop the words “In God We Trust” onto some other display already hanging in the CVC. Steve King, a professional legislator, was gravely offended by this concept of a “deal” being brokered between two sides.

Also, he says, if the CVC is gonna get all slave-y, then it should also add new exhibits thanking the Union Army for freeing the slaves.

There’s no need to break it down.

When will Steve King be shipped to Bermuda for the Uighurs to eat his intestines? A picture of that, with “In God We Trust” added in Photoshop, in Comic Sans, would deserve its own wing at the Capitol Visitors Center.

King explains “no” voting on honoring slaves [Radio Iowa]

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user-of-owls July 9, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Can we put this man on a spindle already.

norbizness July 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Was “I hate darkies” taken?

Tommmcatt July 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm

God forbid Legislators should make some kind of “deal” to get things passed! Why, next you’ll suggest that legislation shouldn’t favor the opinion of the minority party!

finallyhappy July 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm

With so many aholes in Congress- how did someone from Armpit, Iowa get to be the topranked Ahole-or is does this change daily? I drove across half of Iowa- and back- once.

Todd Mecklem July 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm

He really just wants a giant Confederate flag flying in front of the Capitol. See, without Secession, the slaves would’ve never been freed, and…

problemwithcaring July 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm

If we are getting technical, somebody had to whip those slaves into efficiently building such lasting landmarks. Can a overseer get some love too?

51dimes July 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Lets take King’s idea a step further and thank the slave traders for bringing the blacks here. No slave trade, no NBA.


Woodwards Friend July 9, 2009 at 3:36 pm

He’s just standing up for the Civil War troops. Why does every other member of Congress hate the Civil War troops?

InsidiousTuna July 9, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Clearly, if we’re gonna put up a plaque honoring slaves, we have to put up a memorial to the white folk that set them free. That’s what affirmative action’s all about, right?

TGY July 9, 2009 at 3:37 pm


SmutBoffin July 9, 2009 at 3:38 pm

The “pony in slavery” is the privilege of having your heritage shat all over by Real American legislators!

bitchincamaro July 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Can anyone here Photoshop this booger-eater off the planet?

ph7 July 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Pete and Steve, two (R) Kings still mad at Martin Luther for stealing their namesake thunder.

cheeto_jeebus July 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm

MMmmm tasty! gop intestine sautéed with spicy peppers, sweet toasted walnuts and pickled mustard greens. the perfect way to celebrate idiocy.

WadISay July 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm

King could have supported the resolution if it had recognized that the slaves got free meals and lodging.

paintitblack July 9, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Maybe the CVC can build a diorama that includes all of the racist Gee Oh Pee’ers behaving like racist shits, just so’s we all know what stellar asshole racism really looks like… Nah: the diorama would have to be too huge to fit them all in.

TGY July 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=358941]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: That, sir, is tripe of the first stripe.

NYNYNY July 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm

“King was angered because the resolution only reached the floor as part of a major legislative deal that would allow visitors to his official website to Photoshop dildos into his mouth in all publicity photos.”

problemwithcaring July 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm

[re=358940]ph7[/re]: As the white men whose ancestors gave MLK that name, they really deserve some sort of plaque.

tunamelt July 9, 2009 at 3:47 pm

He’s looking out for black people. If we thank the slaves for building things, will the slaves have to reimburse the cost of their free meals while they were building?

Vartan84 July 9, 2009 at 3:49 pm

I sure hope they pass a law which bans making deals and agreements as part of our political process.

One Yield Regular July 9, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Along with this, the GOP’s decision to parade that white firefighter onto the main stage of the Sotomayor battle should really help underscore how “big tent” they’re becoming – in an off the hook, urban-suburban hip hop way, of course.

Dave J. July 9, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Oh, so we thank the slaves but we don’t thank their owners who so generously donated their slaves’ time? BIAS!!!!

AnnieGetYourFun July 9, 2009 at 3:55 pm

I have to admit that thanking people for doing something that they were forced to do seems a little weird. It’s sort of like “Hey, thanks for letting me rape you. It was the best sex ever, for me. I know it wasn’t that good for you.”

But… did he want some plaque or another to have something about God _carved_ in it, as opposed to Photoshopped? Or are we mocking Photoshop in some way? I have a day job now, so it’s hard to keep up.

slappypaddy July 9, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=358941]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: sounds fatty but would probably go well with a good stout. my mouth’s already a-waterin’!

schvitzatura July 9, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Don’t the visitors sort of maybe get to see the actual Speaker’s chair itself (albeit from a distance), on the gul’durned Capitol tour, Stevieshitferbrains?

As for Civil War/War of Northern Aggression honors/accolades/kudos/brac-a-brac/BS/etc., head west to Bull Run/Manassas (Numero Uno y Dos), then NW to Antietam/Sharpsburg, and swing back NE to Gettysburg (aka “Da Big ‘Un”).

Your’un in the thick of it, douchenoz. Swim in it, fucknuts!

Failed 2 Menace July 9, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Slogan for his next campaign:

He Doesn’t Spook Easily.

lmj July 9, 2009 at 3:57 pm

I am gravely offended that this idiot is gravely offended.

How about this deal -we put up a plaque thanking the slaves, and the put up a plaque with a nice pic of King explaining for all time that he was the total asshat who thought it was VV bad to thank a people who were forced to construct buildings for the very government that allowed their horrifically unjust enslavement and brutal oppression, and theft of their labor and lives.

Because everyone knows that it contradicts our Judeo-Christian tradition to repent and make amends!

Maybe he would be happy then.

AnnieGetYourFun July 9, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=358955]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You’re also drunk. Shut up. You shut up.

1ofUS July 9, 2009 at 4:00 pm

I don’t think the busy little Uighurs are too eager for such tripe.

DustBowlBlues July 9, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=358953]One Yield Regular[/re]: “parade that white firefighter onto the main stage of the Sotomayor battle ”

You’re shitting me, right? Right? My poor husband firefighter had to fight this battle to the Supreme Court–not him personally, of course, because he was union prez and the guys demanded it. That was over thirty years ago. The white guys lost.

Guess you gotta’ pick a winner someday.

PontiferousPuma July 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Augh, first this, then they’ll be trying to apologize to those conniving japs for ending WWII efficiently. Where is the love for our blessed Judeo-Christian heritage. *sniffle*

canadians for pussy July 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm

i could never figure out the name “war of northern aggression” since the dumbfucks of the south started the war.
and also lost it, how many loser’s of a civil war still get to wave ther flag around to.

Lawndarts July 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

must’a slipped off my shoes listening to the interview.

pedestrian rage July 9, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Oh Iowa, make up your mind! So progressive with the gays (also hated by Steve King), contrasted by the troglodytes who allow King to represent them. Here’s looking at you, dad.

Bypartizoa July 9, 2009 at 4:10 pm

I LOVE Comic Sans!

JooJoo Bee July 9, 2009 at 4:11 pm

That’s an amazing bit of logic, right there. Of all the compromise votes he’s had to cast in all his time in elected office, THIS is the one on which he decides to dig in his heels? On what planet did he think that wouldn’t come across as racist?

x111e7thst July 9, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=358963]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: So are you currently drunk posting comments from you new dayjob while arguing with yourself? And how does this compare to the radio show you used to have? If you had a radio show and I’m not confusing you with someone else entirely>

One Yield Regular July 9, 2009 at 4:15 pm
SayItWithWookies July 9, 2009 at 4:16 pm

So he doesn’t like the quid-pro-quo about putting “In God We Trust” back in a picture in exchange for acknowledging slavery. I don’t get it. Does he object because god approves of slavery, so we really shouldn’t be insinuating that it was wrong? Or is he just reaching for any old excuse? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

imissopus July 9, 2009 at 4:19 pm

“‘Well Jesus Christ, Congress also just apologized for slavery a few weeks ago. What else do they want? After all, we did free them, didn’t we? It’s getting so a racist can’t even call ‘em coons anymore without people making it an issue.’

At that moment a lightning bolt shot from the sky and fried Representative King on the steps of the Capitol. Efforts to resuscitate him were non-existent.”

TGY July 9, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=358963]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: It’s ok. You used correct spelling and reasonable syntax. If we censored *cough* people for posting drunk, it would reduce posts on Wonkette by around 40%, probs. And maybe cut out 90% of the articles by our esteemed editors.

TGY July 9, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=358976]The-Gentle-Art[/re]: I am already cliplessly convinced.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm

“I would just add that there were about 645,000 slaves that were brought to the United States and I’m with Martin Luther King, Junior on this. His documents and his speeches — I’ve read most of them and I agree with almost every word, especially because I never thought that niggers could write this well,” King said.


Lionel Hutz Esq. July 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm

If they really want to honor the Union troops, they should put up a sign with Steve Kings face at the local glory whole that the Army of the Potomac used to “wax the Merrimack.”

Min July 9, 2009 at 4:34 pm

I would offer the opinion that the resolution is stupid and pointless, and the deal is stupid and pointless.

And I’m pretty sure Steve King is stupid and pointless, too.

Lascauxcaveman July 9, 2009 at 4:37 pm

He’s right. The white people aren’t getting their due recognition in this whole historical slavery issue.

Please! Won’t someone think of the white people!

donner_froh July 9, 2009 at 4:40 pm

How can a person spend one minute in Washington, D.C. and not run into a Civil War memorial, statue, plaque or memorial?

King thinks they need just one more?

Extemporanus July 9, 2009 at 4:47 pm

An aid to Rep. King just sent me a Photoshop image of his proposed Capitol VIsitors Center Memorial.

I dunno…I think I kinda like it.

dum librul July 9, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Seems the dueling Kings of Kongress are trying to out-Klan one another. Is there any other (R) member in either chamber named King? If so, look for them to just flat out show up in black face tomorrow with Whoopi Goldberg at their side.

stolichnayaaa July 9, 2009 at 4:54 pm

God doesn’t compromise, and neither does Massa.

Mr Blifil July 9, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Fuck Meadowlark Lemon. Where is the monument to the Washington Generals?

a4phantom July 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm

I would love to see King sell the rest of the GOP on thanking the Union Army.

a4phantom July 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=358955]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You don’t want to thank the Union soldiers just because lots of them were drafted?

Marlowe July 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm

That was Alexander Cockburn’s ancestor, Admiral George Cockburn, who sacked Washington, DC.
He was rather insistent that his sailors destroy the “c”s at one of the newspapers because they were abusing his name.

thefrontpage July 9, 2009 at 5:42 pm



JULY 9, 2009

“I would like to note that I think Michael Jackson is one of the greatest entertainers during the past 27 years,” U.S. Rep. Steve King, Iowa, said in prepared statement on Thursday, July 9, 2009. “I therefore would like to propose that the alley near the Jackson family home in Gary, Indiana, be renamed Jackson Family Way in honor of Michael Jackson. Also, I think ‘Billie Jean’ is a great song–great guitar work there from Eddie Van Heusen.”

azw88 July 9, 2009 at 5:58 pm

not in Comic Sans, but Wing Dings for the Wing Nut

Paul Tardy July 9, 2009 at 5:59 pm

[re=359097]thefrontpage[/re]: Actually Congrass should thank MJ for like the gazillion in tax revenue at all levels of all governments he paid or was responsible for. The IRS should have sent flowers.

Humpback July 9, 2009 at 6:01 pm

alt text: Prototype of the Republican Senatorial chastity belt.

nightshift July 9, 2009 at 6:11 pm

I think the Wonkettes are reverse racists for covering this story in the first place.

assistant/atlas July 9, 2009 at 6:56 pm

In fairness, both of King’s black constituents were non-plussed, saying, “What the fuck do you expect from an ignorant, mouth-breathing cracker like that?”

Jumping Jim July 9, 2009 at 8:11 pm

More of the reps wouldn’t have voted against it they found out that the slaves were union members.

fuckinredneck July 9, 2009 at 8:33 pm

Plus they’re dead anyway hurr hurr hurr

fuckinredneck July 9, 2009 at 8:34 pm

UNLESS!!! Was Roland Burris a slave??!

AnnieGetYourFun July 9, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Today, we are all top-ranked assholes.

j6n July 9, 2009 at 9:24 pm

The irony is, Comic Sans is not funny.
See what I mean?

grevillea July 9, 2009 at 9:53 pm

[re=359260]j6n[/re]: Yeah, just like scary clowns that make me cry.

Extemporanus July 9, 2009 at 11:03 pm

[re=359260]j6n[/re]: The word “sans” is French for “without.” Which makes your comment ironic x deux!

Steeevyo July 10, 2009 at 5:06 am

You mean its’ own NUTwing …

loquaciousmusic July 10, 2009 at 8:48 am

Eh, it’s no surprise. Steve King hasn’t had anything worthwhile to say since Misery.

natteringnaybob July 10, 2009 at 12:24 pm

[re=358970]pedestrian rage[/re]: I can explain. SK represents our 5th Congresional District which borders both Nebraska and Missouri. Sometimes he gets confused which state he represents.

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