Hey speaking of our favorite Florida Republicans, how’s the gay moderate wing of the Florida GOP faring against the Cuban wingnut wing, in terms of primary fundraising dollars? Let’s examine Charlie Crist’s ongoing Senatorial death-battle with Latin heartthrob Marco Rubio and make some conclusions!
The Charlie Crist for U.S. Senate campaign today announced that total contributions to his senatorial campaign amounted to more than $4.3 million as of the quarter ending June 30, 2009.
[...] Governor Crist announced his senatorial campaign on May 12, 2009, 41 days into the second fundraising quarter. In just 50 days, Governor Crist received contributions from Florida and around the nation for an average of $86,000 per day.
Rich old Palm Beach ladies still love their interior decorators, as demonstrated by their healthy contributions to the Crist campaign. Will the Cubanos step up to the plate now?
And the news is going to just this dull unless you send us HOT TIPS about DC heavies shooting ping-pong balls out of their rectums or embezzling from their state treasuries or launching Chinese Moon Wars.
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Sure he made bank, but I bet Charlie’s hands are pretty chaffed from all the handjobs.
“Gay”* does pay!
* as in tanned and happy not the evil buttsecks type as I’m told by my lawyers…
Well, those confirmed bachelor friends of his have a lot of disposable income, and Charlie has a drawer full of Polaroids.
Well, maybe the reason he has so much cash is that he CAN shoot ping pong balls out of his nether end, hmmm? Filthy lucre indeed.
[re=358695]NoWireHangers[/re]: Nothing wrong with being a whore — just as long as you’re not a cheap whore.
Boner hits for Crist!
I assume this includes campaign contributions by famous Florida philanthropist Bernie Madhoff.
As for the news, the only eyebrow raisng item in today’s NYTimes was the bit about the CIA lying to Congress, if you can call that news.
As the character ‘Holy Diver’ from The Venture Brothers would say: “BOOM! Yummy!”
So isn’t this the point where we make lots of blow job jokes because old Charlie’s gay gay gay gay gay? Also.
I don’t understand. Why is there no trucknutz or buttsecks or whore diamonds in this post? Is it a holiday?
He’s just running for Senate so he can go to Washington and spend as little time with his beard, er, wife, as possible.
Perhaps the Orange-American lobby has deep pockets?
I shoulda been gay, then I wouldn’t have fucking alimony garnished from my paycheck.
Even at a thousand dollars each, that is 86 times every day. No matter what it is he’s doing, that has got to be exhausting.
2013-President Palin Appoints the Head in a Jar of Dick Cheny(on full life support) to be her VP, supreme court justice, and Sect of Defens.
2014-President-for_Life palin passes law to outlaw Wonkette, all Wonkateers and commenters are sold to Chinese as slave labour, as payment on debt to China.
2015-Chinese Death Labour and brain washing camps are moved to the Sea of Tranquility.
2016-Brain washed Wonkette editors lead construction of Snark Bomb, destroying President-for-life at her Wasilla White House ( a specailly constructed triple wide trailer). Dear Leader Cheney and Kong Ill Jung the cloned, Amerika’s only remaining ally, declare war on the rest of the world. Draft is institued for mud people, teh Gayz, teh Jooz, and any fancy pants with a dergee from anyplace other thant the two approved schools(Liberty University and Regents Univeresity)
By the time I hit “submit comment” there were already half a dozen cheap fag jokes, and what the heck, one of them was actually kinda funny.
On the plus side, the repug Sitzfleisch defense seems to be producing results — Barry is polling poorly in Pennsylvania. The ever-boring Quinniapac (have you ever actually dated anyone who went there? ) has him slipping below fifty percent in Ohio or something. so apparently looking smug and saying that Keynsianism (whatever the fuck that is) doesn’t work is actually a winning strategy.
I’m rooting for the leathery gay man.
Republican donors are, understandably, more generous when they don’t have to worry about the donee fucking their wife.
Charlie H. Crist on a popsicle stick, that’s a lotta dough!
Exactly which politicians playing recto-pong are we talking about here? John Boehner? Ted Kennedy? Nancy Pelosi?
I only ask because I’m trying to lose weight and need a clear mental picture….
His primary opponent is a rather dashing young Latino – pretty cute for a wingnut. Why doesn’t he use this to his advantage? If you can’t get Crist to complete the Republican Governor Scandal Trifecta on his own, you’ve got to lure him into it, dammit! Show up in his private headquarters greased up with baby oil. Offer to knead the self-tanner into that tricky spot on his back. I mean, does he want to win this thing or what?
But he’s getting married to a woman, which means he’s not gay, right? Just like Larry Craig — straight, straight, straight.
[re=358695]NoWireHangers[/re]: Wouldn’t you like to make money handjob over fist?
[re=358727]Extemporanus[/re]: Sounds like a good double feature at the local xxx theater: ‘Nailin Paylin’ and ‘Charlie H. Crist on a popsicle stick’, to please everyone.
Just don’t launch those balls while mooning the Chinese–we’ve got enough warz going right now. Ping-pong diplomacy indeed…
By the way–no Brüno jokes yet? C’mon, folks. Low-hanging fruit…
[re=358738]Todd Mecklem[/re]: No low-hanging fruit jokes, either?
It is truly amazing how much GOP money can be raised by stationing black men in public bathrooms in Florida. . .a campaign funded entirely from $20 [please don't hurt me, here's $20 and a BJ] bills.
“Another day on this stupid, manganese infused rock and I will go crazy. Half the company is laid up with the space-pig flu, the other half is sick from a contaminated oxygen shipment from Halliburton. The clone of General Rumsfeld v2.3(beta) says that we have turned the corner, though, so I may soon get to see my sweet darling back on our glucose and hyper-marijuana farm in NeoMilwaukee.
That, and the company Robo-Whore 3000(TM) is busted. Again.”
Private R.Z. SmutBoffin, U.S. Lunar Expeditionary Force, from the Ken Burns documentary Moon Wars II–IV
[re=358735]rereridiculous[/re]: Yeah. They could even sell these at the concession stand.
OT— who will pay for me to move to D.C.? ANY SUGGESTIONS? The time has come.
[re=358721]artbot2000[/re]: These poll results might possibly indicate that Obama’s wishy-washy, don’t offend anyone, centrist, wannabe bipartisan approach toward getting watered-down legislation passed isn’t so popular. Or maybe the poll queried an inordinate amount of gays who are pissed that they’re being used like Rove used the fundies (thanks for your vote, now fuck off.)
The Heart Throb versus the Penis Throb. My head is throbbing!
Give up your me day and smart cocktail and send the savings to Charlie.
$4.3 Million is going to buy a lot Orange #3 Body Bronzer.
Don’t go wagging that “No Tips” finger at me, missy. Several hours ago, I sent in the following:
Sent Thursday, July 9, 2009 10:26 am
To tips@wonkette.com
Subject What intoxicated animals reveal about a nation’s soul
So, in New Zealand we have adorable stoned wallabees making their own wee crop circles…how Kiwi! But in Germany, we have a blind-drunk BADGER that staggers into the middle of a road and belligerently refuses to budge. Police try to scare him away, but he just glares at them in an over-ripe cherry-induced stupor, so they use a broom to shoo him off the highway…how German!
http://in.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idINTRE5683O720090709
Fine, no pingpong balls, but really, this is LESS interesting than primary fundraising figure?? (pout)
[re=358748]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’d suggest soliciting your current neighbors first.
[re=358758]user-of-owls[/re]: Most excellent bash.
The Monopoly guy is not nearly orange enough.
He’s saving it up for the next wedding he won’t have after he doesn’t get nominated for anything.
[re=358758]user-of-owls[/re]: He lives on a houseboat. His neighbors all motored away a long time ago.
Shorts, I’d suggest you either pilot your house through the Panama Canal and lodge it comfortably somewhere in the banks of the Anacostia river, or you can check your email and read what I just sent you about maybe a sexy exciting job opportunity.
[re=358758]user-of-owls[/re]: Mr. Shorts Goes to Washington…Please!
[re=358748]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You got two hands. Work for it! (see comment #1)
[re=358748]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Only a crazy man would leave life on the water north of SF for life in DC. The only question is are you the good crazy or the bad crazy, Shorts? Or are there simply warrants out for your arrest?
[re=358763]ph7[/re]: [re=358774]InsidiousTuna[/re]: [re=358775]TGY[/re]: Trust everyone realizes ’twas all in good fun.
Shorts is not a nail!
[re=358774]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Ooh! Is he going to be a Nigerian Business Executive, too? That would be sheer poetry of the universe right there!
[re=358804]user-of-owls[/re]: I shit you not, though, the man lives on a houseboat, which is kind of awesome.
[re=358826]InsidiousTuna[/re]: And to think, I remember him when he was full-length.
[re=358830]user-of-owls[/re]: That sounds like a fun night was had.
[re=358830]user-of-owls[/re]: I’m gonna go pour one out for PantsPantsPants.
Hahaha thanks ITuna for the EXCITING OPPORTUNITY.
Need me a jawb.
[re=358797]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Perhaps Shorts just wants to live somewhere that will recognize his gay marriage and if so, who are we to judge?
[re=358868]imissopus[/re]: The gay part isn’t the problem… it’s that his “partner” is a Shetland pony…
Thats a lot of dicks to knock out of his mouth!
[re=358826]InsidiousTuna[/re]: A flooded double-wide does not a houseboat make.
[re=358756]user-of-owls[/re]: Since we’ve already traveled from New Zealand to Germany, why not hop on over to Russia for gripping news on Russian weightlifting records? Might be NSFW, also.
THREADJACK!
[re=358894]bitchincamaro[/re]: JEEBUS I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD BECOME ONE LEAVE SARAH ALONE.
I predict that Charlie Crist will come – from behind – in this Senate race. And speaking of race, I am guessing the Charlie is actually half Native American and half Japanese.
Get it? I’ll wait…
[re=358719]WestEdEd[/re]: Who says it’s a slow news day? Well played, sir or madame.
Hey guys! I may be old, but I finally get it. If the thread’s boring, you just offer any shit you want. Like those poll numbers:
This is serious, people. I blame Larry Summers and Tim Geitforehead. If they’d shat all over the banks, the teabaggers would be reduced to three guys in Oklahoma under tin foil hats. We voted for change, give us change. You get Elizabeth Warren, Paul Krugman, John Corzine and a Wall street smart guy in a room and let them slug it out. Verbally, of course. (Otherwise, we are so going to be ruled by Elizabeth Warren, on whom I have a girl crush).
That’s the kind of shit FDR did–hear all the viewpoints, not just two Wall street assholes that everyone hates.
So, the Gay Mafia strikes again. But if real American’s like Sarah Palin have taught us anything, it is that Republicans prefer crazy, no matter how much money anyone has.
[re=358849]InsidiousTuna[/re]: If Shorts plans to spend all year on the water in DC, he’ll eventually have to change his name to CoatCoatCoat. Just not one of those nylon parkas with fake fur around the hood. Too Palin.
When Charlene moves to DC she is going to room with Boener. The shared bronzer costs will be significant. Possibly enough to oppose Cap and Trade.
I don’t get it. I would pay up to 35% more for a handjob from Mario.
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