Wonkette
*Cracks knuckles* TIME FOR THE POST OF THE CENTU– eh, nevermind, too mean. Just thought you all should be aware that the Proverbial Website has been discovered. Right now it’s mostly just a few… dudes… but down the road, its membership should easily surpass Hannidate’s. [Ron Paul Singles]
Somehow I doubt the 11 ‘female’ members are actually female. That’s too big a number for a Ron Paul site.
Wait — do the guys wear white tube socks and black Reebok sneakers? I’m there!
OH GOD HELL YA. If there is a way to troll this thing, we must.
I’m amazed the gender ratio is as low as 4:1, frankly. It must be hard to attract the wimmins when your movement is all about teabagging.
Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
Height: 5′ 3″ (160 cm)
Weight: I’ll tell you later
I haven’t done any dating sites, but why do they even offer a “I’ll tell you later” option? Isn’t that like a fairly blatant way of saying “Fatty fat fat fat?”
R-EVOL-ultion is just another word for “Sausage Party.”
I know the hottest Iranian, Ron Paul supporter. ‘Cept she’s taken. I’m going to ask her to sign up on that website and cock-tease everyone.
=(
Paultard seeks Randroid. Me: specializes in staying focused on decisions and actions of the head. You: oh so many attributes (beautiful smile, eyes that softly glow with the special nature of your soul). No blimping on first date.
Must…stop…laughing…before…I…choke…to…death…
Doesn’t the movie Bruno open this week? Time to go see Dr Revolution try to resist sexy time with Bruno. Can he resist’s Bruno’s fabulous charms? Coming to theaters near you.
ManchuCandidate: Any website that advertises the number of “female members” = steer clear!
Female member “libertas” has a photo up of a 5 year old boy, meaning she clearly knows how to lure GOP men on a dating website.
Maybe “members” doesn’t mean “individual” but means “members”. Those Paulpeople are a different breed. I for one would like to check out a hot chick with 11 members, if I could look first to checkitout. So, are those eleven member ladies hot?, what I wanna know. But, it is doubtful.
I wonder if their Paultardish “Libertarianism” extents to a little M4M dating?… it does allow searches for ‘couples’, ‘groups’ and ‘any gender’… TROLL-FEST AHOY!!!!1!1!!!
Good. I am now “shortsandhawtpants” on the fantastic RON PAUL SINGLES thing, which means I can now meet lizard people “in my area.”
This will help America to breed an underclass of fast-food craftsmen and janitorial technicians.
When Paultards breed with Paultards, there will be a pure society. No chance for dementia here. It’ll be like Finland, without the nanny-state.
Holding Out for a Hero: HAHAHAHAHA…[*choke*]..[*gag*]….HAHAHAHAHAHA……
Does anyone here know whether that eagle is willing to fuck me?
I really don’t want to think that there are even that many people for whom Ron Paul is an aphrodisiac. Ugh.
I’m gonna start Rahm Emanuel Singles. “Where ‘Fuck you!’ isn’t an insult, it’s a pick-up line”
All true Ron Paul singles should be dedicated to staying that way vis a vis Jack D. Ripper.
Bearbloke:
Not only can you search for someone of the same gender, you can search for a couple! No furry option though.
OMG, the internet win of the day is for the Wonketeer that posts a furry profile over there. Think of the responses! My mind, reeling….
Dave J.: In netspeak, “I’ll tell you later” as an answer on a dating site means “run li9ke a muhfugga while you still can.” Also.
where’s the gold
It’s Raining Men…
Gold’s value rising
Fiat dollar’s getting low
According to all sources
That Love’s the place to go
‘Cos tonight for the first time
At just about half past ten
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining men
It’s raining men
rEVOLution it’s raining men, Amen
It’s raining men
rEVOLution it’s raining men, Amen
It’s raining men
rEVOLution it’s raining men, Amen
I’m gonna go out
I’m gonna cut myself get
Absolutely soaking wet
It’s raining men
rEVOLution it’s raining men, Amen
Every specimen
Tall blond short and fat
Dumb and wide and real real fat
God bless that dear Ayn Rand
She was a single woman too
She wrote ’bout Atlas
And she did what she had to do
She taught every Paultard
To put blimps in the sky
So that each alleged woman
Could find her perfect guy
It’s raining men
Go get yourself wet girl
I know you want to
I feel a Sausage Fest riding in
About to begin
Hear the thunder
Don’t you lose your head
Pull out your root and stay in bed
It’s raining men
rEVOLution it’s raining men, Amen
taylormattd: Again with the inter-species breeding…do you remember where your keys are? Henngghh?
“The Ron Paul R-EVOL-otion: We put the LOTION in the basket!”
Actually, this is a government front for an experimental forced sterilization program.
If successful, Phase II promises to be for more ambitious…people who actually reproduce.
I am in as GazooGetGoopy. Come along and get your freak on with me and the magic Libtard Sex Blimp.
ManchuCandidate: I genuflect before the Master.
ManchuCandidate: One of your better ones.
There must be something wrong with me. This thing just makes me sad. In a bored sort of way.
Of course they’re all fuckin’ single!
You ever met a Paultard who was married?
ManchuCandidate: Do you have some sort of wacko-macro song desecrator or something? Autism?
Either way, keep those hits comin’—they are solid gold (standard)!
I saw a bumper sticker on a pickup today in my Republican town that said “Ron Paul Was Right”. About what?
Finally, Brian Kilmeade has a place to fine pure blood dates.
Dave J.: Not necessarily; the lil dude in question may not like the way “83 lbs, soaking wet” looks in print…
OMG I have 3 matches in the Paultard community with my freakshow of a profile. These people are more fucked up than I imagine. I mentioned watching my octogenarian mother showering in my profile!!! How did I get a match much less three?
american mutt: Speaking of hot Iranians, check out “Persian-y Tuscadero”.
user-of-owls: Oh sure, easy for YOU to say, what with all of the sexytime you spend with owls.
Stop being such a RACIST against eagles.
spryte: Sign me up for that will ya? For reasons known only to my therapist, Rahm makes me all tingly in the tingly area.
shortsshortsshorts: puhleeease - keep us posted!
Extemporanus:
No Autism or program. Just a fucked up not useful in real life talent for mocking songs.
Here’s my favorite Hannidate profile: The picture is totally real and not fake, and the profilee is totally not a Nigerian scam artist:
annita
Female, 32, apopka, Florida, United Arab Emirates
how are you doing there …..am annita by name am from texas
Garland but right now am in west africa with my friend jannet
but she has hurt me and left me here follow a man back too the
state that am still in west africa right now am still a singl…
davesnothere: Here’s the profile… LOOKING FOR A REPTILE TO LOVE.
http://www.ronpaulsingles.com/showprofile.php?id=147
shortsshortsshorts: ZOMG, when that profile came up on a search I was wondering whether it was a Wonkette commenter. How could I have missed the TruckNutz reference?
To bab10:
Title: How about we cut some taxes and my pubic mane?
Body:
Hey sweetcheeks,
I’m Billy and I love nothing more than to fight the NWO, use colloidal silver and get my freak on. How about you? Wanna help ths Ron Paul Blimp fly to the blissful skies of virgin no more land where everything if run by rational self interest and a lack of deadly sperm backup?
Let me know if you are down and you and I can talk Dr. Paul and the North American Union while we fire guns, pass out literature and find the right razor to shave my thick mound of man sprinkle. Let me know if you are down.
Later,
GazooGetsGoo
I bet the Paultard guys get confused and try to indicate “Shy” as well as “Very Sexually Assertive” for their quality preferences. Also, they wonder why they can’t select “Likes to View Lesbian Pornography with You, Or Star Trek“.
Sent to IronPatriot
Title: Man Meaty
Body:
How-diddle-dee-doo, fellow Paul Man,
Ij ust had tot ell you that I think you are, aside from the great Dr. Paul himself and his son Rand, the supreme example of what a modern Patriot should look like. I swear, if it was not for my love of the free market and desire to keep America great, I would keep you all to myself in the basement of my mom’s house.
So, what do you hate more, illegal Kenyan-borh president NoBama or the Bilberberg Group? Trick question, they are the same. Anyways, if you liked that, feel free to hit me up. Maybe we can talk about slashing not only out dependence on Washington and the DemoCant’s but also are homophobic fears of man love. Bye.
I am having too much fun with this.
x111e7thst: You are not alone. You ever get a feeling, when your brain is faced with too much to FAIL, that your mind is seizing and it freezes into a metaphorical sneer, unable to be jolted into ridicule?
“Members Online = 0″
taylormattd: “Owls Do It In The Dark”
I love that Wonketters are taking over the fron page. Let’s see how many pages we can fill with utter crap.
Extemporanus: sigh. i need to move to iran… wait no i don’t.
“the fastest growing relationship site on the web”
49 members.
there are more comments here than there are singletards.
meanwhile, just noting that CNN is exploring the question PALIN’S RESIGNATION: Political suicide or stroke of genius?
Here is mine. Quick before I am banned!!!1!!9!!!!
http://www.ronpaulsingles.com/showprofile.php?id=148
Great. There needs to be a site for guys who are intimidated by the women of J Date and Match.com.
problemwithcaring: Yupperz (as my interns would say). Sometimes I don’t want to mock them any more. I justwish they could somehow get better. I know that doesn’t really make any sense.
Scandalabra: They missed out the word “Extreme” from that sentence.
shortsshortsshorts: 5′ 3″ and 265 lbs? Hunky!
XOMuffintop: Hey! You just WINKED at me! Ha ha. check out my profile pic and you might take that wink back
http://www.ronpaulsingles.com/showprofile.php?id=152
I am trying to get 1 of the 2 real member sof the board to IM with me but I think my e-mails to them did not work out too well.
Atheist Nun: Oops, missed the C.
ShamWow: Take a look at mine and I think you will see we are made for each other.
First to get banned for suggesting public roads gets a whore diamond.
XOMuffintop: hubba hubba!
shortsshortsshorts:
Education: School of Life
Mwahahaha! The School of Life’s Arabic program is very intensive!
You can rate all of their profiles. I suggest “1-worst” for everyone. I’ve been fuckin’ up their math. WEEEE!
shortsshortsshorts: it’s a good thing they don’t believe in that librul math
ShamWow: I told you I am one sexy tub of freedom.
It was discovered that every Paultard had a lifetime subscription to Mail-order Asian Brides. (actually true)
Because this is inconsistent with their anti-Immigration position they’ve had to look for alternatives.
In the meantime, keep an eye on your real sheep lest they begin birthin’ more sheeple.
Likes: Tri-corner hats, world of warcraft, free market butt sex, parents’ basement
Dislikes: Federal reserve boards, Ameros, parents’ basement
Canuckledragger: A vegan who hunts & fishes is sure to get a lot of responses. That and loving the sushi.
Okay, who is using the Sarah Palin running porn picture? Fess up…for liberty!
It’s surprising that more than five dozen have managed to sign up — those questions at the top sure are hard!
Ron Paul has matched me with a slew of unemployed computer technicians. Yummy!
This does raise the disturbing possibility of them breeding. Just say’n.
http://www.ronpaulsingles.com/showprofile.php?id=155
Hey girls while you were coveting over leveraged bullies with more federal reserve notes, some times called dollars, than sense some people were bulking up on real money aka gold. Check Ron Paul’s financial disclosure if you do not believe it; Gold + Wheat(for diversification).
ShamWow: Hey, did you get my IM? lol.
Great place to market a USB port-connected air pump for that inflate-a-date.
I would have thought there was a question about favorite mythical beast, you know so you can tell who is for or against hobbits.
Atheist Nun: I’d hit it. Definitely more attractive than the other ones. Likes deserts too.
Here’s mine:
http://www.ronpaulsingles.com/showprofile.php?id=156
Dave J.: ” I’m sort of a data geek and spend most of my free time working on liberty-related projects.”
h4xx0ring? trolling 4chan? I mean, what the fuck is a “liberty-related project”?
Cicada: EXCELLENT hobbies!
They’re missing the form question “What is your favorite Ayn Rand book?” etc., and so forth.
Cicada: hahaha… WOODSTOCK!
Paul Tardy:
So which profile is yours?
Don Juanquete: He’s a big tub of love that just like to drive his truck to the swapmeet to buy bulk nuts, so he can eat nuts in his truck! What’s not to love?
HEY DOODS. Wink at everyone on that site and rate their profile as 1. In addition, enter the chat thing and fake-cyber— for America. I have been messaging some of those Real Americans for awhile. HELP THE CAUZ
rEVOLution!!!11!!one!
Look at the URL. The user id’s are barely above 100. This means that only 10 people have even TRIED to use this thing, and over 3% of successful registrations are wonketeers.
Paul Tardy: Hey - where’s the profile from ‘Paul Tardy’?
shortsshortsshorts: Hawt!
The 11 females are comprised of Ashley Todd (the Obama “B” girl) and the rest of her personalities
[Thomas_admin] 7:21 pm: All your account are getting cancelled and I am shutting the site down you win
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:21 pm: OR YAAFF
[furbeemee] 7:21 pm: aw
[FudgeRipple] 7:21 pm: no i like this site
[IronPatriot] 7:21 pm: i found a youtube that showed that disney’s ducktails predicted the evils of the federal reserve!!!!
[IronPatriot] 7:21 pm: the furry cycle is complete!
[Ken_Layneround] 7:21 pm: TRUCK
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:22 pm: DONT GIVE UP THE FIGHT THOMAS
[FudgeRipple] 7:22 pm: don’t shut it down
[Ken_Layneround] 7:22 pm: NUTZ
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:22 pm:
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:22 pm: KEN YOU NEEED TO B3 MOOR PROFESSIONAL
[SusieQ] 7:22 pm: C’mon
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:22 pm: ILL TAKE OVER THE SITE IF U DONT WANT IT
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:22 pm: RON PAUL NEEDS USS TO B3
[SusieQ] 7:22 pm: Thomas
[Ken_Layneround] 7:22 pm: WHY R U SHUTTING DOWN THE FREEDOM, THOMAS?
[SusieQ] 7:22 pm: lighten up man
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:22 pm: YA GODDAMN TRADER
[Mistress_Bachmann] 7:22 pm: this is where you can meet all of the hot studs who beelieve in tha constitution
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:22 pm: YA REALLY MICHELE
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:22 pm: RELOVEUTION!!!!!!!
[FudgeRipple] 7:22 pm: thomas dont shut the site down
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:22 pm: GOOD POWENT.
[FudgeRipple] 7:22 pm: there are pretty ladys here
[SusieQ] 7:22 pm: CENSORSHIP IS OPPRESSIVE
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:23 pm: IM GONA START RONPAULDIABETICSFANCLUB.NET
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:23 pm: THATS FOR THE GOVERNMENT TRAITORS 2 DOO
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:23 pm: WHOS COMIN WITH ME????
[Thomas_admin] 7:23 pm: Nope it’s over with as soon as poossible I tried to provide a serious venue here and just get #$%^&* on
[Mistress_Bachmann] 7:23 pm: AWWWWWWW
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:23 pm: THATS RIGHT IT DID
[Mistress_Bachmann] 7:23 pm: THAT SUX
[FudgeRipple] 7:23 pm: who isnt serious?
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:23 pm: SERVES YOU RIGHT TO VOTE FOR A 3RD PARTY CANDIDATE
[SusieQ] 7:23 pm: A serious venue? Don’t you guys have enough goddam teaparties to meet each other?!
[FudgeRipple] 7:23 pm: ill kick there @$$
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:23 pm: THIS IS AMERICA
[shortsandhawtpants] 7:23 pm: THOMAS YOO NEED 2 PROMOTE MORE LIBERTY TO MAKE IT WORK
[SusieQ] 7:23 pm: Ameria- #$%^&* YEAH
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:23 pm: LIBERTY!!!!!!
[Mistress_Bachmann] 7:23 pm: WHO %$#@ ON THOMAS, FESS UP RIGHT NOW!!!
[NotMyPresedunt] 7:24 pm: BOLD ITALIC CAPS
VICTORY!!!!!!!
Check out the helpful articles there:
“How to kiss
Jun 25, 2005
A lot of people are still virgins when it comes to kissing. A lot of people can kiss but don’t know how to kiss properly. Here are the basics to kissing. Once you have mastered kissing then you can try other styles and techniques of kissing.
1. Hygiene - The last thing anyone wants is to be kissed by someone who has yellow teeth or bad breath. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss to get in-between the gaps. Your partner will love to be kissed by you if your moth is clean and fresh. How to kiss
Jun 25, 2005
A lot of people are still virgins when it comes to kissing. A lot of people can kiss but don’t know how to kiss properly. Here are the basics to kissing. Once you have mastered kissing then you can try other styles and techniques of kissing.
1. Hygiene - The last thing anyone wants is to be kissed by someone who has yellow teeth or bad breath. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss to get in-between the gaps. Your partner will love to be kissed by you if your moth is clean and fresh.”
chascates: Sorry. Department of Redundancy Department error.
Atheist Nun: Looks like the Palin trend is catching on.
shortsshortsshorts: That chat was fuckin’ hilarious, I hope someone saved some more transcripts….
:heart: THOMAS!!!! WHY DID YOU DENY ME HUMAN CONTACT?
*golf clap* Well played.
That didn’t take long, did it?
thehelveticascenario: I’d troll (WARBLOG!) that place all night if I could, but alas, I have previous plans tonight…
Atheist Nun: Oh Jeebus H Christ that was FUN!!!
Tommmcatt: Not only did we create furries- we got the Admin to cancel all our accounts (there were 8 of us) and threaten to shut down the site!
M with coins seeks F with Swiss citizenship. Collectibles tax rate @#$% %$%$ Grrrrrr.
Actually Kitco should have a dating site. Bwahh ha ha ha ROFL.
Sorry all of that is Ron Paul humor. It would be funny to PaulTards I assure you.
BTW, Sean Hannity has a similar site:
http://hannidate.hannity.com/
“Hannidate - The place where people of like conservative minds can come together to meet. Whether you are looking for a life partner, or just someone to hang out with, here you’ll be able to find exactly who you are looking for, locally or around the world. It’s fun, interactive, safe and anonymous - until you decide to take it further. It’s FREE to join, post your profile and to contact that special someone!
Please make sure to fill out this Legal Release Form and FAX it to (212) 456-5894. No profiles will be posted unless this release is received!
So he’s had some problems in the past, eh?
YOO PEEPOL H2 TEH TROOOF.
shortsshortsshorts:
“There is no user available with the given parameter”
Atheist Nun: FudgeRipple here (due to the Michael Steele picture). We were really hoping you were Ken Layne, not an intrepid commenter. Oh well. It was still fun.
Hannidate! I entered all the zip codes I could remember from the various branches of my red-state family — nada. (Illegaleze for “don’t you have a life?”)
Then I remembered the incomparable Irvine Housing Blog, documenting the red-hot center of the mortgage meltdown.
And wah-lah — here are the Hannidateable ladies from somewhere in Satan’s armpit. None of them has checked in during the past week… wonder why? Perhaps because “There are 1 registered users online and 6 guests online.”
Bearbloke: Indeed, it brought back the good olde days, when Men were Men, Paultards were Paultards, and Wonkette WARBLOGGED the fuck out of them…
InsidiousTuna: Ah, no, it was me chatting as Ken’s morbidly obese alter ego, Kenneth Layneround… he’s not a sprite and frisky as the real Ken Layne; he’s always layin’ ’round, a-gettin’ beef jerky + dry roasted TRUCKNUTZ stuck in his beard…
Goddammit. Sleeping during the day has its drawbacks sometimes. Thanks for the entertainment.
chascates: My moth is clean and fresh — let’s get kissin’!
jasper f. krone: (is that what the kids are calling it these days?)
aaaaand…
http://www.superpoop.com/070809/atlas-shrugged.jpg
Why do the libertarians hate liberty so?
Oh my dear lord…
http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/index.php?page=view_profile&id=1189
I also love how muscley and “ripped” the silhouette is for guys that refuse to post a picture of themselves:
http://www.ronpaulsingles.com/getsnap.php?id=175&typ=tn
NoWireHangers: Man alive, but Malkin’s really let herself go.
If you do some web searching, you’ll find that “Ron Paul Singles” is actually owned by Late Night Shots!
Hot basement orgies.
eclecticbrotha: Oh, running is too much effort. A slow amble ought to do it.