Wonkette
Here’s the hot new Republican YouTube, “Hey Half-Breed, Where Mah Job, Haw Haw,” produced by orange House Minority Leader John Boehner. The first-person documentary follows a retarded man wandering into AIG offices and hamburger saloons detectivin’ (unsuccessfully) for them there “stimulus jobs” that the Kenyan feller kept hollerin’ about. And then John Boehner appears and complains about how his dog is unemployed and on welfare. [YouTube]
“Ah ahm hey-uh to announce mah intraducshen of tha Human-Canine Marriage Pro-tekshun Act of 2009.”
I’m pretty sure that Boehner - leader of the party of Larry “Wide Stance” Craig, David “Diaperman” Vitter, and Mark “intern stalker” Foley - has has lots of stimulus with that dog of his.
If you know what I mean.
He is the exact same color as that dog. How does he do that?
The man is exactly the same color as his dog. I wonder if that means something.
Elly Mae can get a job if she is willing to relocate to Mumbai, but then who will keep Boner warm at night?
I vow to someday bum a smoke off of Boehner.
That man and that dog are the same color.
Is this what Michael Steele had in mind with the new GOP tactics, reaching out to the kids, etc?
But his wife already had a job in the kitchen.
Monsieur Grumpe: First thing I noticed. He’s not orange, he a freak lab retriever!
John Boehner is going on again about how the government isn’t providing people with work and free monies. Hey, maybe you should try dying your skin RED next time, eh, Marxy?
That Ellie Mae bitch should go to the dept of homeland security or the police department and fill out a job application. Stop wasting time trying to stimulate Boner in the park.
Nice hood. Looks like a gated community with wrought-iron fencing. I wonder he’s looking for a gardener. I’m not an illeegalz.
The bloodhound must be there to help Boehner locate his balls, which were last seen dangling over Mitch McConnell’s gaping maw.
You know, the GOP would have a lot more credibility if they could whip out that Men in Black pen and wipe every memory of the last eight years from our minds.
That’s it! They should insist on including mandatory lobotomies in the next stimulus bill so they can go back to soothing us with their sweet, sweet (scary!) lies.
Monsieur Grumpe: Min: It’s Miscegenation, I tell ya - and we got a law agin’ that in these parts, Boy…
Has anyone here noticed that Boenher and the dog are the same color?
And that bridge that they took for the good burgers — uh, did they have to hire somebody to build it or was it made out of sacks of stimulus money?
Try putting the peanut butter on your balls, John. Then she’ll find the stimulus.
oh, no- boner is the human/canine hybrid and I’m betting the dog did not consent.
Wher’s our jobs? They took our jabs!!!!1!!1!!
Who built the bridge to that there burger joint, dumb fuck?
Sorry, not very funny or snarky, I know, but I’m sick of these GOP good ol’ boys and their damn southern accents.
HedonismBot: No offense intended, of course, to anybody who has a soutern accent but is NOT a Limbaugh-fellatin GOP cracker…
Could somebody tell that stupid son of a bitch that Orange-Glo is for *furniture*? Sheesh.
See, Obama is proved wrong again — John Boehner is a color that’s found in nature.
And the poor folks at the Ohio Department of Transportation are having fits trying to tell Boehner that they’ve actually started 52 separate projects with the recovery money they got so far. But it’s their fault for arguing with a man who’s impervious to facts.
I’m from Wisconsin, and can personally attest to the positive effect the new bridge will likely have on one’s ability to get a job at Rusty’s.
Has Boehner ever tried to convince some chick to kneel down in a broken bottle-strewn ditch full of piss slush? Trust me, it ain’t easy…even in Stevens Point.
I’m the one millionth commenter to realize that the man and the dog are the same color… WUT DO I WIN?
I didn’t know HEE HAW was back on the air.
Does this mean that Boner is Charlie Brown and Obama is some bizarre cross of Franklin and Lucy?
norbizness: I’m telling you that’s no dog, that is his sister.
Who the fuck do they make these terrible vids for? How stupid. Ask the ODOT, idiot, about stim projects.
There *is* a job available: sucking Marion Barry’s dick.
Nobody tell him, but “universal” healthcare won’t even cover his dog.
I like how he says at the end how the Government needs to do more to help small business and then he just stops right there and ends the thing without actually saying what the government should do to help small business.
So Obama’s stimulus paid for AIG bonuses? I though it was Bush’s bailout that did that.
It looked like the dog tried to bite Boehner toward the end of the vid. Good dog. Good dog. Hope she is up to date on her shots.
Damn it Jim, we need alt text…
“Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut.”
Get that sonofabitch out of Marion Park
Will the real Deputy Dog please stand up.
This sorry Boner, dog & pony show is making me weep cuz the priest who raped me said baby jesus gets stabbed in the heart with a wooden stake every time you tell a lie.
We all know the construction of bridges creates zero jobs. Because of the magic construction gnomes that do it for free?
Todd Mecklem: I’ll pass. I’ve always wanted to see Denver.
Not to get philosophical, but is there anything more indicative of America’s problems than John Beohner? It’s a like a poser wrapped in a poser wrapped in a poser.
Does Boehner realize that teabagging a bloodhound just ain’t a good idea?
Just ask Cool Hand Luke.
HedonismBot: None taken.
norbizness: I don’t know exactly what the prize is, but rumor has it that in the morning you’ll wake up with amnesia, a heavy hangover, John Boehner himself, 12 dogs, a stretched rectum, and 35 empty cans of orange spray paint.
ANOTHER Hee-Haw clip?
stop feeding the damn dog, that will motivate it…
Gahw-dayum. By th’ ay-uhksent on that ther narryator, ahm haff cornvinced this may-us-age ain’t ‘zackly intended fur the folks whut done voted for the day-um negro fella in the first place.
freakishlystrong: The GOP faithful are not an intelligent bunch.
Making these retarded videos for their few remaining retarded members is the least the GOP can do to show recognition for the cognitive limitations of their flock.
I hope Boehner is kneeling in a pile of dogshit.
HedonismBot: You’d think that a party being seen as having a serious problem in it’s inability to attract anyone but Southern white males would at least be smart enough to not have a video featuring a narrator with an exaggerated Southern white-male accent.
Surely there is someone in the GOP caucus that is willing to pay good money for a dog that knows how to lick in the right places. Boehner, you are just not trying hard enough.
Everyjodyleek: Damn, beat me to it.
Who’s goin’ fishin’? Huh? Who’s goin’ fishin’?
Monsieur Grumpe: He eats every litter of puppies the dog has, one litter every few months keeps his bronzed look up. I mean, doesn’t every Republican eat puppies?
mikeyboypdx: not true. some republicans eat kids.
Hooray For Anything: Now why would you think that?
Somehow I got on the NRCC mailing list and I just received a “Boehner for Majority Leader” donation request. After having a good laugh at the Anti-Pelosi Rant they employed to try to “scare” some money out of me, I scrawled ” Why is Boner Orange?” across it and promptly mailed it back (no postage necessary of course).
Look, you wonkette people are sick! Just because Boehner allowed that dog to lick peanut butter off his dick ONE time….
Unfortunately, Obama’s approval rating has dropped 10+ points in Ohio. People buy this Boehner crap.
Shouldn’t Boehner be no older than 14 to pose with his dog like that?
WadISay: How could one tell the difference?
GOPLeader.gov? Isn’t that an oxymoron? maybe a double or triple oxymoron GOP Leader Gov. No two of the three words make sense together.
jodyleek: HI-freakin’-larious!
This explains Boehner’s color…it’s not skin but very, very fine fur.
Who built that bridge to the burger joint? Volunteers?
Why keep on with the thick, Southern accents? Do they really want to be seen as the Southern regional party? Damned fools. You add in Orange-American John Boehner who’s looking as dark as his dog, and one can’t help but think this is some joke.
LoweredPeninsula: What, you mean you can’t recognize this as part of the GOP’s new off-the-hook/urban-suburban hip hop thing?
Fucking Checkers speech.
One Yield Regular: I must say that my super special Negro Senses aren’t exactly tingling; no.