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FINALLY SOME DAMN ACKNOWLEDGMENT
Meghan You Should Twitter From Vegas!
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8:33 PM
on Tue July 7 2009
By
Jim Newell
2704 Views
Come on, Meghan, if you drink enough, you won’t have to be troubled by these kind of questions.
I cannot believe this is a real Twitter account. Almost all the words are spelled correctly.
Does this mean she and Ross Douchehat are going to get it on in Vegas?
@McCainBloggette careful getting out of cabs in Vegas.. Not looking forward to a bunch of pantyless twatpics.
My advice is to take comfort in your old friend the double-chocolate cheesecake and twat away, Meggie. Twat away…
Wait? She’ll be in Vegas … (doing math) … this weekend, yes?
That’s funny, because I will be in Vegas this weekend. Oh this…this could be fun.
Anyone have a video camera I can borrow? I’m thinking sex tape would definitely push Walnuts over the edge…oh wait…that means I’d have to sleep with Meghan McCain. Nevermind.
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ on a Soda Cracker, Meghan, it’s all public domain. Meat for the Tweet is Fuel for the Ridicule.
How ’bout I go to vegas to tweet her?
I’d hit that.
So wait. Posting things on the internet is a bad way to keep a secret?
assistant/atlas: The Flip Mino video camera is super cheap, smaller than a pack of cigs, and can upload directly to YouTube when connected to a PC. You don’t have to seduce Megh, just record her stepping out of a limo. TMZ will pay you big cash munnies!
assistant/atlas:
Just offer her a pie and stand back. That video would be golden, lemmie tell you.
This is probably all just a cover so can fly down to Argentina and be with her wise, Latina lover.
assistant/atlas: I’d suggest staking out one of those all-you-can-eat buffets for a pic of her.
Be careful gambling with your mom’s money.
She seems pretty cool. I bet she’ll be a Democrat by the time she turns 30.
She like-a da buttsecks.
Pizzuti: And a Wonkette associate editor when she realizes nobody else would hire her anyway.
Make room at the big desk, Jimmy!
Th-that’s not tw-twittering we can be-ee-lieve in. (creepy grin)
Meghan…….quit blogging, quit tweeting, quit making public statements. The public at-large is not interested in you, unless it’s to see you crash and burn. You’re not a celebrity, not really. No one wants your opinion, no one wants your insights. It’s over. Go home. Spend your money. Keep your head down, then get it together and plan your life.
This is my best advice.
Hasn’t Meghan been a republican for like less than a year? She registered as one during her dads campaign…and that suddenly qualifies as book worthy material? *eye roll*
She likes us! She really likes us!
You know who else is in Vegas this weekend? NATE SILVER. Keep your filthy hands off him, Meghan!
Sarah Palin needs to spank Meghan’s roundish buttocks until they’re nice and pink for being nasteeeeey.
Palin/McCain 69
Meghan will be on the new episode of Cathouse on HBO, and that twated picture looks like a girl I gave 20 bucks worth of meth to give me a bumpkin. also
Did anybody see her on Real Time? She was in waaay over her head. And I didn’t feel bad for her.
So much ass, so little insight…
I know you’re reading Meg. Meet me at Castle Doom…I mean Excalibur, and bring a can opener.
Meghan are you reading this? Don’t you listen to these smug little bastards with their Bachelor of Arts degrees and their minimum wage jobs. You come on over to poppa Jack; I’ll lay you down and teach you the meaning of love. By the time we’re finished you’ll be leopard print under a black light.
“What happens in vegas stays on @huffingtonPost and @wonkette if you tweet it.”
And boys, if you “tweet” Megs, what happens in a petri dish will stay on your shaft.
A thousand pardons. I just took my new dosage.
Ever notice how people who use the phrase “what happens in Vegas…” end up only eating buffet all day and then standing beside nickle machines, sipping watered-down Amaretto Sours all night?
She’ll lose a fortune and Pappy will croak.
OK, I’m starting to like her.
“I’ve seen you twitter away;
I’m running in place, all ways and times”
Acknowledgment! So I guess she will use Twitter, then, if it gets our attention (and HuffPost!). The real question is whether Wonkette will encourage her further by posting her pretend-salacious messages from Vegas. This will be annoying, but it could could make John’s head implode, so tough call. On the other hand, maybe a 300 pound Samoan attorney will pick the confused little girl up on the flight over and ply her with acid for several days straight, etc., in which case the messages could actually be interesting.
if obama liked the doughy white girl boobs on that lady who quit to get her md/phd, he must love tubby magoo here…
meg- ur pic sux. r u on crnk?
Vermonster: Good point - if you’re gonna call a girl dumb might as well call her a little Tubs McGoo at the same time.
And the buffet! We should also talk about the buffet!
So was she the girl picking flowers when Barry Strangewater blew up the world? No, I guess the timeline doesn’t line up–unless that was an ALTERNATE REALITY…
Life (especially on Twitter) is a medley of extemporanea…so you should totally go to one of those parties that that nice Mr. Berlusconi keeps sending you invitations to, Meghan. Just don’t forget to tweet!
javascript:reply(’357405′, ‘marlowe’s lot’); believe me…tubby knows all about the buffet…
If you’re worried about losing your moral compass in Vegas, Meg, take Bill Bennett with you.
Megan, SHOW US YOUR TITS.
Sorry. That just slipped out. My bad.
the lady MS. Sheila Dixon: Is she styling herself after Pink?
lizard scum: as long as the 300 pound Samoan attorney not touch her with his uncircumcised cock, that mutant!
What the hell’s the Huffington Post?
Well smutting up Wonkette is as close to mytwitbook as the cranky needs to get.
Cicada: oo la la thanks for making me google that fine piece of nerdelicousness.
(and no, I don’t want to know that he is a douche. leave me and my 4 or 3 seconds of nerd fetish fantasy alone.)
Today, we’d all hit Meghan McCabe.
dogscantlookup: You mean, savagely penetrated every orifice of Meghan’s body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member?
She’s probably donning hip waders right now as I type this.
I’m looking forward to Twitter following Wonkette’s example and getting rid of all those useless, cluttery @ signs. (Our Wonkette used to insert them before a commenter’s name in a respone. Ugh.)
Megs, Lindsay says to meet her at Rehab at the Hard Rock — for a pixscapade. Between the two of you, you’ll be the exact proper weight for a bikini.
[rproblemwithcaring: that’s what the slogan means.
representPizzuti: I dunno about that, but moot point, ’cause John will have her lobotomized like Cindy before then.
time 2 get a job meg be4 U R 2 fat 2 work
I’d like to suggest a slightly amplified proposition, Meg:
NOTHING EVER GOES AWAY ON THE INTERNETTE!
EVER!
lizard scum: that too,also the replubs need to be more hip, and it may help if they had more hop(throbbing uncircumcised negroid members)
Guys, let’s back off calling Megh fat. You younger men don’t know this yet, but as you get older you’ll lose your fascination with skinny chicks who look like teen-aged boys from behind, and you’ll gain an appreciation for curves like Megh’s. However, you’ll still be required to tell your lady she looks thin. If you want to live. Shake your moneymaker Megh!
hobospacejunkie: I don’t think we were the first to say it. Somebody else implied it and Meghan freaked out. Or else she just imagined someone saying it, I dunno, because she’s really not fat, at all. Also, I think guys who think chicks should look like teen-aged boys are mostly the gay men who publish the fashion and lifestyle magazines women read, not the men who are their mates.
Official Announcement: I’ve offered the Guest Editorship to Meghan McCain, if she is ready to do six posts per day, while I’m working on a book.
ALSO: You all can do a fuck of a lot better than making unfunny jokes about a pretty young lady. Come on, get it together, stop being so lame. We make fun of Meghan’s OP-ED columns around here, not her dress size.
hobospacejunkie: She’s actually not unattractive, especially in comparison with some skinner republican… women (??) such as our friend Ms. Coulter. It’s mainly when she opens her mouth (for words) that problems arise.
Ken Layne: Jesus, Ken. I thought you goddamn book was already written. Maybe offer co-authorship to Meghan. No changes to My Wonkette!
Ken Layne: oh please…we make fun of both…(knowing all the time that she is actually more in shape than ourselves)
Meghan has a lot more sensible ideas than the rest of the party. Give her ten years, a kid or two, and she might turn out fine. Hillary was a Goldwater Girl, remember?
lizard scum:
You mean, “The Awful Sector of SODOMY”?… with Meghan?
Raoul Duke: You mean that blonde groupie with the film crew? Shit. He sodomized her? [chuckles]
Dr. Gonzo: That’s right, laugh about it.
Raoul Duke: Well… It’ll probably work out. We can keep her loaded and peddle her ass at the drug convention. Yeah. She’s perfect for this gig. These cops will go fifty bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang fuck her. We can set her up in one of these back street motels, hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, then turn these fucking pigs loose on her. Hell, she’s strong, man. She’ll hold her own.
Dr. Gonzo: Jesus Christ. I knew you were sick but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff, you filthy bastard.
Raoul Duke: Straight economics man. This girl is a God-send. Shit, she can make us a grand a day.
Dr. Gonzo: That’s ugly, man. Stop talking like that.
Raoul Duke: I figure she can do about four at a time. If we keep her full of acid that’s more like two grand a day. Maybe three.
Dr. Gonzo: Hold on, man. What if I just jump you and beat the dog shit out of you? Would that make you feel better? You filthy bastard.
Raoul Duke: Alright listen to me. In a few hours, she’ll probably be sane enough to work herself into some kind of towering Jesus-based rage at the hazy recollection of being seduced by some kind of cruel Samoan who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.
Dr. Gonzo: That’s so ugly, man!
Raoul Duke: Well, you’ll go straight to the gas chamber for this one. And even if you manage to beat that, they’ll still send you back to Nevada for rape and consensual sodomy.
Raoul Duke: He’s gluing her eyes shut right now man.
Dr. Gonzo: You goddamn honkies are all the same… goddamn honkies are all the same!
Ken Layne: Thank you. There is certainly enough ore to be mined in her hopelessly n00bish self-centeredness (Meghan, honey, remember — you’re only edgy for a Republican. To the rest of us you’re just a virgin who isn’t sure) that she’s earned that we don’t have to go after stuff we wouldn’t want to be belittled over ourselves. Even if we weren’t all in-shape, charming, attractive, naturally tan exemplars of awesomeness.
SayItWithWookies: And you’re drunk, so cool it with the fucking italics.
I am so happy for these Wonkette screen shots. Going over to twitter makes me feel dirty and I wouldn’t want Meghan to think I am following her. What happens on Twitter should stay on Twitter.
Oh, Megs. Sure, you can go ahead and just “tweet” the fuck out of “twitter, darling, but we know that you know all the good dirt about Palin, honey, and that’s what we want, not blurry pictures of you eating a 99-cent shrimp cocktail with some Siegfried and Roy impersonators at some crappy Vegas tourist shithole bar.
Don’t worry Megs. Suds has your back. I too will be in Las Vegas this weekend “twittering”… If by Las Vegas you mean the local Indian Casino. And by “twittering” you mean getting caught on the surveillance camera being dragged out of the rest room with my pants down.
And why would a dazzling urbanite like yourself ever contemplate this “@huffington post” thingy?
Ha,ha, I am going to admit it. I am old- well, not ancient- and I do not understand the point of Twitter. It seems incredibly stupid to me. Of course, I will probably be the first person who kills someone the next time they text, twitter or tweet- or whatever the hell it is- at the movies or theater.
hobospacejunkie: amen. they make the rockin’ world go ’round.
hobospacejunkie: I believe the correct term for those who never lose the fascination with chicks who look like teen-aged boys from behind is Republicans. This would go a long way to explain Meghan’s constant “frustrations.”
“One night a bouncer at a bar called me over and I was convinced I was being thrown out. But he just wanted to know if Sarah Palin is as beautiful in real life as she is on television. (Yes, she is).” Young Meg wrote this in her recent post (Daily Beast)about closet conservatives of NYC, and I read it so you don’t have to.
Ken Layne: Yeah, what he said.
x111e7thst: See, there’s so much lacking from that excerpt! Why did she think she was about to be thrown out? What was she doing? And did the bartender recognize her as Walnuts’ daughter, proving that she is somehow famous, or was she yelling HI AM THE YOUNG SEX-POSITIVE FACE OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY DON’T TELL DAD in the bar?
Actually, I don’t want to know the truth, it’s more fun to imagine.
Meg might be Guest Editor of Wonkette?????
(Goes through mental catalog of Meg comments. Sees several large red flags. Throws out book on “Sucking Up to Guest Editor”.)
It’s going to be… awkward.
Ken Layne:
6 post a day? Wouldn’t that be like, work?
Otherwise also, Megan as guest editor would be like, ultra awesome.
Seriously, Megan, join us. You’ll have a great time and think how good it would look on your resume. I for one would welcome you.
MG
Mad Brahms: I can tell you that she equated this guy’s wondering if Palin was Hotttt with closet conservatism.
ManchuCandidate: It’s going to be goddamn awesome. I wonder if Walnuts knows A) what Wonkette is and B) that there’s a chance his daughter may write for it.
If Meghan agrees to be a guest editor, she has to let Jim take her out to dinner.
InsidiousTuna:
I mean awkward for me. Meeting the ex on the street kind of awkward.
InsidiousTuna:
I think it will be written in her “contract.” The Newell Clause.
Now she changed the background on her Twitter page, making my previous comment (even more) nonsensical (than usual). I can’t keep up with the internetz.
ManchuCandidate: Don’t worry, it’s not like you can search anybody’s comments anymore, the Giant Campbell Brown ad took out that function.
P.S. The phrase “twitter followers” makes me awfully, awfully depressed.
Ken Layne: OOooooh goody! I want her to smack us down . We deserve it.
I want Meghan to give us Palin dirt real bad.
Meg as guest editor would be genius. I would pay top $$ to hear what Cindy said about Sarah. And for the record, I’d hit it and not quit it (where it refers to Meg).
Ken Layne: Are you sure she has the intellectual depth..uh..for Wonkette? Never mind. Ok, are you sure she can accept terms like ‘ass fucking’ with good grace or whatever it is? Maybe bonhommie? Only it’s French.
If she accepts, will that make her Wonkette’s “lightning rod conservative”? Perhaps Bill Kristol would be better, since he has a longer, deeper rod.
TGY: longer, deeper rod: Presumably, but perhaps not by much.
Ken Layne: I thought Meghan was working on a book, too. Maybe you two should collaborate - you know, each write alternate chapters, setting up more and more outrageous situations for the other author to try to resolve.
I’m picturing something along the lines of Candy, only add some sex to keep it interesting.
El Pinche: I’m not paying attention unless Michelle Bachmann gets in on that action
Meghan reads this filthy website?! Meghan, NO! Look away! Cast thine eyes away from the foul stench of this disgusting cesspool. We don’t want to hurt you, so please don’t make it so easy.
Now, if Mittens was reading Our Wonkette…God I hope he saw my Blingee from last week…
wrytoast: The thought makes my nipples hard.
chascates: Tommmcatt: I dunno, y’all. The more I think about things like this, the more I …
1) Am not sure I could go through with it without vomiting
2) Think I might never be able to eat pie again….and I like pie.
3) Think I might never be able to “eat pie” again….and I like “pie.”
Wonkette has a Twitter feed, too. We are being lied to. The anti-Twitter bias is totally faked: Wonkette is no different than RedState. Wake up, sheeple!!!!11!!1!one! Teabag Wonkette before it teabags you.
And Meghan as a Guest Editor would be awesome if she can take the heat. Hobospacejunkie is right: I like a little something to grab onto.
Day 2; the Wynn is Green Wave, duck and run @ like #iranelection
air cond too cold @ #neda
Ken Layne:
But but but I love fat jokes! Fat jokes are all I have!!!
She reads Wonkette? And knows of our fevered desire for carnal congress with her? I’m terribly titillated.
BTW, Megs, that offer of a lobster dinner stands. No politics, just lobster.